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| Saturday, April 12, 2003 | Colleen: ... and every night your files will be backed up to the central server.
/ Dewey: Sounds perfect. / Colleen: I'm just sorry my system is too late to save your files.
/ Dewey: Well these things will happen. / Colleen: How many coats of wax do you want on your motorcycle today?
/ Dewey: Two. And... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030412 |
| Sunday, April 13, 2003 | Dewey: What's the problem here?
/ Computer Victim: I lost the auction! And I really wanted that mower! / Dewey: Then you should have bid more.
/ Computer Victim: Well it's a dumb system. You should make it easier to use. / Dewey: You know we don't actually RUN Ebay, right?
/ Computer Victim: And get... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030413 |
| Monday, April 14, 2003 | Mel: I've been looking at the budget. We need more revenue.
/ Dewey: I'm not doing another bachelor auction. / Mel: Could we do a better job collecting fines?
/ Dewey: I think I can safely say we couldn't do worse. / Mel: You're exaggerating. Surely people understand we mean business!
/ Patron: Here's... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030414 |
| Tuesday, April 15, 2003 | [[A patron is standing at the desk talking to Dewey.]]
/ Patron: I returned that book on time.
/ Dewey: It wasn't a book, it was a video. / Patron: Right. And I returned it on time. I distinctly remember.
/ Dewey: Okay, what video do you distinctly remember returning? / [[Mel walks up. Patron is walking... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030415 |
| Wednesday, April 16, 2003 | Tamara: I see you have some fines here.
/ Lady: Do I? That's nice, dear. / Tamara: So if you wanted to... I mean, this would be a good time...
/ Dewey: Tamara, SAY IT! / Tamara: I WANT YOU TO PAY YOUR FINES TODAY! / Tamara: Thanks, Dewey. That was kind of cathartic!
/ Dewey: Also works getting houseguests... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030416 |
| Thursday, April 17, 2003 | [[Dewey talking to Merv at the circulation desk.]]
/ Merv: Wow, you guys are getting hardcore about fines!
/ Dewey: Yes we are. / [[Dewey counting change]]
/ Merv: It's high time those scofflaws got their comeuppance!
/ Dewey: Mmm hmmm. / [[Dewey blocking Merv from a computer]]
/ Merv: As opposed to those... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030417 |
| Friday, April 18, 2003 | Disgruntled Patron: What do you mean I can't check this book out?
/ Colleen: You have $273 in fines! / Disgruntled Patron: Listen, I pay my taxes!
/ Colleen: Not that many you don't. / [[In staff room]]
/ Mel: I hope our new "tough on fines" policy isn't too hard on you?
/ Colleen: We have a new polic... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030418 |
| Saturday, April 19, 2003 | Mel: Well technically you don't HAVE to pay your fines today...
/ Patron: Then I won't. / Dewey: The books you requested have mysteriously disappeared!
/ Another patron: I'm getting my checkbook out now. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030419 |
| Sunday, April 20, 2003 | Man: This book was due yesterday. Do I owe a fine?
/ Mel: Just a dime! / Man: Tell you what. I'll just wait until "Fine Amnesty Day".
/ Mel: But... that's not until next year! / Man: See you then!
/ Dewey: And they say the system is broken! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030420 |
| Monday, April 21, 2003 | Patron: I'd like the new books by Crichton, Grisham, and King.
/ Dewey: They're all check out. I can add you to the holds list. / Patron: How long will I have to wait?
/ Dewey: Let's see....about six months. / Patron [[in a library full of books]]: Six months? What am I supposed to read until then? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030421 |
| Spring | [[Dewey has a pile of books in front of him]]
/ Dewey: Ah, spring. When a young man's fancy turns to cataloguing.
/ Tamara: Really? / Dewey: You need to adjust your sarcasm meter.
/ Tamara: I don't do sarcasm. I'm a children's librarian. / [[Now we can see that Tamara is wearing a cute teddy bear sweater]]
/ Dewey:... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030422 |
| Wednesday, April 23, 2003 | [[A woman is standing by a NO PETS sign with a small dog harnassed to her like a baby]]
/ Woman: Mommy just needs to pick up some books. Shall we get a book for baby too? / Woman: Baby was so hungry! That's right, eat it all! / Woman: Do you have children?
/ Dewey: No, but I'm hoping that when I do they'll... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030423 |
| Thursday, April 24, 2003 | [[A woman wearing hat, scarf and globes faces Tamara in the Children's Fiction section. The woman's daughter, wearing at least four hats, stands behind Tamara.]]
/ Woman: We lose 90% of our body heat through our heads!
/ Tamara: But it's spring!
/ Daughter: My neck hurts. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030424 |
| Friday, April 25, 2003 | Woman: Do you know what this book is WORTH? It should be protected!
/ Dewey: I still don't know how it ended up in the bathroom. / Woman: It should be locked away! It needs climate control, security! It's got to be preserved for generations to come! / [[Dewey is placing the book in the refrigerator]]
/ Dewey:... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030425 |
| Saturday, April 26, 2003 | Man: You don't have that book?
/ Dewey: No. I could try getting it from a different library system. / Man: How long it THAT going to take?
/ Dewey: Hmmm. Do you believe in a higher power? / Man: Yes.
/ Dewey: Start talking to her. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030426 |
| Sunday, April 27, 2003 | [[Woman with Cyclop-like visor and apparent X on her chest is at Dewey's desk] / Dewey: Big X-Men fan?
/ Woman: Transsexuals? They're okay, why?
/ [[X is revealed to be the straps for her backpack]] http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030427 |
| Monday, April 28, 2003 | Colleen: Make way! I'm late for my booktalk at the organic vegan Afghani cafe!
/ Tamara: Where's the English dictionary? I thought it was under the spare Burmese flag!
/ Dewey: Ever think we're a little TOO inclusive?
/ Mel: It might be with the Klingon holiday decorations.
/ [[There is a poster of Buddy... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030428 |
| Tuesday, April 29, 2003 | [[Dewey is helping an older female patron at the computer]]
/ Dewey: You've mixed a lot of format methods - tabs, tables, text boxes, headers, footers, and so on. / Dewey: I recommend you cut and paste the text into a new document bit by bit, keeping the format consistant. / Dewey: You have no idea... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030429 |
| Wednesday, April 30, 2003 | [[A close up of Dewey and Mel talking at the Information Desk]]
/ Mel: You're spending too much time with that woman.
/ Dewey: I can't seem to get away from her. / Mel: Of course you can! Just walk away! / Dewey: No I mean it.
/ [[Wide shot of Dewey and Mel at the Information Desk with an older female... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030430 |
| Thursday, May 01, 2003 | [[Dewey and Merv are speaking to an older female patron working at a computer]]
/ Merv: Would you like help reformatting your file?
/ Patron: Umm...
/ Dewey: Go for it. Merv knows more about computers then I ever will. / Patron: That would be wonderful! Thank you so much!
/ Merv: It's my pleasure. / [[Dewey... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030501 |
| Friday, May 02, 2003 | [[Dewey looks desperate as he grips Tamera's shoulders]]
/ Dewey: I'm not here! I'm sick! In fact, I died!
/ Tamara: WHAT? / [[An older female patron speaks to Tamera at the desk]]
/ Patron: Is Dewey here?
/ Tamera: Er, No. I guess he isn't. / [[Dewey is hiding underneath the desk]]
/ Patron: I baked him... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030502 |
| Saturday, May 03, 2003 | Library Tip #14: Understand the technology / [[A man is talking to Dewey, who has his arms spread horizontally to their maximum. The man's son is sitting, wide-eyed, at the computer]]
/ Man: Just how big ARE the holes on these internet filters? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030503 |
| Sunday, May 04, 2003 | "What's the hardest question you were ever asked?" / [[A woman holding a book faces Colleen holding Doreen.]]
/ Woman: Who's her *real* mother? / [[A child talks to Tamara.]]
/ Child: Which came first, the chicken or the egg? / [[Colleen stands with her arms folded, facing Mel who is sitting at her... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030504 |
| Monday, May 05, 2003 | [[A man with dark glasses and an ear wire is approaching Dewey, who is shelving books.]]
/ Man: Do you work here?
/ Dewey: Depends who you ask. How can I help you? / [[The man is showing Dewey a picture of Merv.]]
/ Man: What books has this boy checked out? How much time does he spend on computers? What... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030505 |
| Tuesday, May 06, 2003 | [[Mel and Dewey are standing together in the library.]]
/ Mel: The FBI wants Merv's library records?
/ Dewey: So it would seem. / Mel: But why would anyone investigate Merv?!? / Mel: Okay, that was a dumb question.
/ Dewey: No, no, you're right. His encryption should have been unbreakable! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030506 |
| Wednesday, May 07, 2003 | [[Staff meeting]]
/ Mel: I am not supposed to say this, but the F.B.I. has requested a library patron's record. / Tamara: But they're private!
/ Mel: Not according to the PATRIOT Act.
/ Colleen: My Child deserves a better world!
/ Dewey: I purpose we purge all our patron records, quickly. / Mel: But we're... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030507 |
| Thursday, May 08, 2003 | [[Ned walks in on a scene of shredding and data destruction]]
/ Ned: what on earth are you all in a frenzy about?
/ Dewey: we're destroying patron records so the government can't get them / Ned: well don't let me stop you.
/ Tamara: I think I shredded my lunch http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030508 |
| Friday, May 09, 2003 | [[Dewey is talking to a man in black with an ear bud in one ear]]
/ Dewey: I'm afraid we longer have any patron records of any kind.
/ Man: That's very...disappointing. / Dewey: So go ahead. Cuff me.
/ Man: What? / Dewey: I admit it. I destroyed records. I obstructed justice. Is that an iPod?
/ Merv:... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030509 |
| Saturday, May 10, 2003 | Mel: So the "F.B.I. agent" wasn't an agent at all?
/ Dewey: Nope. Just Merv's dad being really nosy. Sorry about the fire drill. / Mel: Maybe next time you could ask for some identification? / [[Buddy holding a box of shredded paper]]
/ Dewey: I guess. Not that I'd know a real F.B.I. badge if I saw... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030510 |
| Sunday, May 11, 2003 | [[Tamara and Mel are walking through the stacks.]]
/ Tamara: Our little brush with the PATRIOT Act was harrowing.
/ Mel: At least we have a policy now. / Tamara: Sheer, unadulterated panic is a policy? / Mel: It's always worked for me in the past.
/ Tamara: Let's go to the petting zoo. I need to hug a... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20030511 |
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