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| Tuesday, December 27, 2005 | Dewey: You're labelling our pens?
/ Tamara: Every one of them. / Dewey: You're assuming people don't mean to take them. That they somehow forget and walk away with them and are later filled with regret.
/ Tamara: No, I think they're all thieves. / Dewey: That's a little dark for you.
/ Tamara: I'll be... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20051227 |
| Wednesday, December 28, 2005 | Buddy: Here they are - alll the missing library pens!
/ Tamara: How wonderful! / Tamara: How did you get them back?
/ Buddy: I just asked nicely. / Tamara: This is a gold pen. It says "Happy Anniversary Andre."
/ Buddy: Yeah, that guy needed extra convincing. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20051228 |
| Thursday, December 29, 2005 | Tamara [[leaning on reference desk]]: So far today we've lost three dozen pens.
/ Dewey: It's not like we're going to run out. They're cheap. / Tamara: We're wasting natural resources.
/ Dewey: But think of all the happy pen factory workers we're keeping employed. / Tamara [[turning away]]: You've used... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20051229 |
| Friday, December 30, 2005 | Tamara [[to patron]]: You want a pen? Just fill out this form. And we'll need a deposit. And photo I.D. Do you have references?
/ Dewey [[to Tamara]]: You're making it too complicated. Here, watch me. / Patron [[to Dewey]]: Do you have a pen I can borrow?
/ Dewey: No. / Tamara: We would go through... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20051230 |
| Saturday, December 31, 2005 | [[Tamara and Mel are standing behind the information desk. A boy is using the pen, which is attached to the desk. Buddy stands to the left holding a ship's anchor.]]
/ Mel: I'm glad you found a reasonable solution to the missing pens. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20051231 |
| Sunday, January 01, 2006 | The Unshelved Book Club present INSIDE JOB, by Connie Willis
/ [[A female channeler is performing before an audience]]
/ Dewey: In INSIDE JOB, by Connie Willis, Rob is a professional skeptic. Kildy is a former starlet who decides she's prefer discrediting psychics to appearing in THE HULK III. Their... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20060101 |
| Monday, January 02, 2006 | Merv [[writing]]: How does "B. A. C. O. N." sound?
/ Dewey [[at computer]]: I thought you were preparing for a debate. / Merv: My plan is to cite irrefutable statistics from a fictional covert government agency. / Dewey: What's this debate about, anyway?
/ Merv: No idea. I think I'll go with "A. N. D."... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20060102 |
| Tuesday, January 03, 2006 | Dewey: Did you find out what your debate is about?
/ Merv: Yeah, overpopulation. / Dewey: And will you be agreeing with Malthus?
/ Merv: ...Maybe. / Dewey: The whole concept of "research" is foreign to you, isn't it?
/ Merv: Facts just confuse people. I'm going to focus on sound bites and a good hair... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20060103 |
| Wednesday, January 04, 2006 | [[Dewey is at the computer at the desk. Merv is leaning on the desk, back to Dewey, reading The Art of War]]
/ Merv: I've got this debate sewed up, thanks to my secret weapon
/ Dewey: You're not allowed to call me on your cellphone during the debate / [[Dewey types, Merv stares off into space]] / [[Merv... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20060104 |
| Thursday, January 05, 2006 | [[Merv is holding a spiral-bound notepad in his hand and talking to Dewey, who is reshelving a book.]]
/ Merv: I've been doing research.
/ Dewey: Glad to hear it. / Merv: Much to my surprise, the total for payoffs necessary to rig the debate is well within my budget! / Dewey: [[Turning to Merv and throwing... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20060105 |
| Friday, January 06, 2006 | Dewey: Debate's over?
/ Merv: Yup. / Dewey: How'd it...
/ Merv: Dude wiped the floor with me. He had facts, figures, and a clever turn of phrase. / Dewey: Is this the point where I say, "I told you so?"
/ Merv: No, this is where you buy a dozen collectible "Vote for Merv" buttons, half price. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20060106 |
| Saturday, January 07, 2006 | [[A female patron is talking to Dewey at the reference desk.]]
/ Patron: I want to exchange these.
/ Dewey: You want to return them and find something new? / Patron: Exchange. They were Christmas gifts.
/ Dewey: These are library books. Someone cut out the barcodes. / Patron: Fine. I'll take store credit.
/ Dewey:... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20060107 |
| Sunday, January 08, 2006 | The Unshelved Book Club presents KING OF THE MILD FRONTIER, an ill-advised autobiography by Chris Crutcher
/ [[Two boys holding a things saying "ESUS SAVES!"]]
/ Dewey: Chris Crutcher went to church every Sunday to get the mysterious prize for perfect attendance. He got a little glow-in-the-dark thing... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20060108 |
| Monday, January 09, 2006 | [[Dewey lying on his back behind the reference desk]]
/ Tamara [[from offpanel]]: How again did you hurt your back?
/ Dewey: I've told you three times.
/ Tamara: I'll never get tired of hearing it.
/ Dewey: I was reaching for the remote.
/ Tamara: Because you wanted to watch what?
/ Dewey: A fitness program.
/ Tamara:... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20060109 |
| Tuesday, January 10, 2006 | [[Dewey lays on his back behind the reference desk.]] / Voice: You're supposed to lift with your knees. But that might hurt your knees. Do you have bad knees too? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20060110 |
| Wednesday, January 11, 2006 | [[Dewey is lying flat on his back behind the desk.]]
/ Colleen [[from offpanel]]: Nice dodge.
/ Dewey: I'd rather be working.
/ Colleen [[from offpanel]]: I don't believe you.
/ Dewey: Imagine continuous misery.
/ Colleen [[from offpanel]]: sounds like a typical work day to me. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20060111 |
| Thursday, January 12, 2006 | [[Dewey lying on his back behind the reference desk.]]
/ Dewey: Sorry, I'd need the computer to answer that question.
/ Offstage voice: What if I slide the monitor so that you can see it?
/ Dewey: What if you drop it on my head?
/ Offstage voice: Would that help? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20060112 |
| Friday, January 13, 2006 | {{Bill's annual birthday strip drawn by Gene Ambaum}} / [[The staff are carrying Dewey on a stretcher]]
/ Mel: Where are we taking him?
/ Buddy: That vegan place.
/ Colleen: I thought he hated it there.
/ Tamara: When he's carrying the stretcher he can choose the restaurant.
/ Dewey: This is the best birthday... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20060113 |
| Saturday, January 14, 2006 | [[Dewey lying on his back behind the reference desk.]]
/ Offstage voice: Once a geisha walked on my back.
/ Dewey: Did it help the pain?
/ Offstage voice: pain? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20060114 |
| Sunday, January 15, 2006 | The Unshelved Book Club presents DRAGON AND THIEF, by Timothy Zahn
/ Merv: Jack Morgan, orphan, raised by his con-man uncle--
/ Dewey: A COMPUTER SIMULATION of his DEAD uncle.
/ Merv:--on the run after he stole from a big corporation--
/ Dewey: He was FRAMED.
/ Merv: --witnesses a space battle, and finds... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20060115 |
| Monday, January 16, 2006 | [[Dewey approaches Mel, who is using the telephone.]]
/ Dewey: What's up?
/ Mel: All the computer speakers are missing. / Dewey: [[slaps forehead]] < http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20060116 |
| Tuesday, January 17, 2006 | Dewey: You can come out now. I know you're there. / Voice: How did you know it was me?
/ Dewey: Who else would hide in every speaker in the library? / Mysterious figure with cape and black mask: The Shusher (TM) KEEPER OF QUIET.
/ Dewey: Didn't we have a discussion about this? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20060117 |
| Legitimate kinds of noise, Wednesday, January 18, 2006 | Shusher: You don't need to thank me for doing your job.
/ Dewey: You are not doing my job! / Shusher: It was noisy.
/ Dewey: There are legitimate kinds of noise. / Shout from Outside the Panel: *I will not be quiet! I want my DVD now!*
/ Shusher: Like that?
/ Dewey: The library disavows any knowledge of... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20060118 |
| Thursday, January 19, 2006 | Angry Woman to Tamara: IF YOU DON'T GIVE ME MY DVD, I'M CALLING MY CONGRESSMAN!
/ Shusher: Is there a problem here, ma'am? / Angry Woman: THIS WOMAN WON'T GIVE ME MY DVD!
/ Shusher: If you can't keep your voice down I'll have to muzzle you. / Mel: I should probably have an issue with this.
/ < |
| Friday, January 20, 2006 | [[Patron speaking to the Shusher]]
/ Patron: Where...
/ Shusher: Shhhhh! / Patron: But I...
/ Shusher: This is a library! Quiet!! / Patron: How am I supposed to ask for help?
/ Shusher [[demonstrating the sign for "help"]]: American Sign Language. Learn it. Use it. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20060120 |
| Saturday, January 21, 2006 | [[The Shusher and Dewey are standing in the library. In the background, patrons motion to each other to be quiet, and a mother muzzles her child into silence.]]
/ Shusher: The library's a lot quieter now, isn't it?
/ Dewey: You terrorized everybody into submission. / [[In the foreground, a woman shushes... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20060121 |
| Sunday, January 22, 2006 | The Unshelved Book Club presents "The Accelerated Learning Handbook" by David Meier / [[Dewey, holding book, is talking with Mel]]
/ Dewey: I read "The Accelerated Learning Handbook" like you suggested. Fantastic!
/ Mel: Oh good. I'm always afraid to recommend professional development titles to you. / Dewey:... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20060122 |
| Monday, January 23, 2006 | [[Dewey enters, carrying a grocery bag.]] / Tamara: What's with all the junk food?
/ Dewey [[unpacking]]: My teen group meets today. / Tamara: Your teen group meets on Wednesday.
/ Dewey [[head snaps to look at watch, looking fretful]]: Right. Like my watch says. Thursday. Thursday?!? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20060123 |
| Tuesday, January 24, 2006 | [[Dewey looking frustrated with his hands on Mel's shoulders.]]
/ Dewey: It's Wednesday.
/ Mel: Thursday. / [[Dewey peering into Colleen's cubicle.]]
/ Colleen: Thursday. / [[Bucky has his hand on Dewey's shoulder. Dewey looks dejected. Merv is standing next to Dewey with a smile.]]
/ Bucky: Thursday.... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20060124 |
| Wednesday, January 25, 2006 | Dewey: It's really Thursday. I've forgotten an entire day of my life. Not to mention an episode of "Lost".
/ Tamara: I told you not to mix your muscle relaxants with your painkillers. / Tamara: "I don't need to read the instructions," you said. And then you started singing. / Dewey: I thought that was... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20060125 |
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