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| Friday, February 15, 2008 | Patron [[pointing at Dewey]]: Just look at him!
/ Mel: So he didn't do anything offensive? / Patron: He didn't have to -- there! He's doing it again! / Mel: He's just sitting there looking at us.
/ Patron: When you write him up, can I get a copy? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080215 |
| Saturday, February 16, 2008 | [[Mel and Dewey are standing together in the library. Dewey is waving goodbye to a patron.]]
/ Dewey: Have a great day!
/ Mel: No, no, no, you're not maximizing your farewell potential. / Mel [[gesturing to a spot on the floor]]: If you stand here, the acoustics will maximize your vocals!
/ Dewey: [[walks... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080216 |
| Sunday, February 17, 2008 | The Unshelved Book Club: SHARKNIFE, by Corey Lewis / [[Illustration by Corey Lewis of costumed hero Sharknife fighting a monster]] / Dewey: Ombra Revenga owns the town and keeps it in the grip of crime and oppression. But there's a point of light. The GUANGDONG FACTORY is a five-story Chinese restaurant... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080217 |
| Monday, February 18, 2008 | Mel: Who are you voting for, Tamara?
/ Tamara: I'm torn! / Tamara: I'm a woman, so I want to vote for a woman. But I don't want to be sexist. And I'm African-American, so I want to vote for an African-American. But I don't want to be racist. / Tamara: Dewey?
/ Dewey: I support Taft. Because America needs... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080218 |
| Tuesday, February 19, 2008 | Woman: My daughter drew you a picture!
/ Dewey: Thanks! / Woman: She wants to know if you like it.
/ Dewey: Yeah, I love purple cats. / Woman: It's a dragon!
/ Dewey: I love those too? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080219 |
| Wednesday, February 20, 2008 | Mother: She drew a picture for your and you made her CRY!
/ Dewey: I couldn't tell what it was. / Mother: Now you have to make her stop!
/ Dewey: How? / Mother: Offer her something.
/ Dewey: Okay. How about a book on how to draw? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080220 |
| Wednesday, February 20, 2008 | [[Dewey is talking to a mother with a crying child. The child is about 8-9 years old. The mother is pointing at Dewey accusingly.]] / Mother: She drew a picture for you and you made her cry! / Dewey: I couldn't tell what it was. / Mother: Now you have to make her stop! / Dewey: How? / [[Dewey holds... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080220. |
| Thursday, February 21, 2008 | [[Tamara, Dewey, and Colleen are standing and talking]]
/ Tamara: Do you even understand why that girl was crying?
/ Dewey: Because she's a bad artist?
/ Colleen: No, it's because you know nothing about dealing with children. / Tamara: When a child gives you a picture, just exude delight. Be as nonspecific... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080221 |
| Friday, February 22, 2008 | Patron (with daughter): She liked that drawing book you found her. She made you this.
/ Dewey: Just a moment. [[Turning away]] / Tamara [[brought back by Dewey]]: Did you draw that for ME?
/ Patron: No! She drew that for HIM! [[pointing at Dewey]] / Tamara: Then I'd like to accept on his behalf! [[Dewey... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080222 |
| Saturday, February 23, 2008 | [[Dewey is talking to a mother and her daughter who has just given him a picture]] / Dewey: Thank you. / Mother: Do you like it?
/ Dewey: Thank you. / Mother: You're completely insane!
/ Dewey: Thank you. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080223 |
| Sunday, February 24, 2008 | The Unshelved Book Club presents "The Golden Dream of Carlo Chuchio" by Lloyd Alexander / [[Desert. Twilight. Four pack animals caravan through the dunes. A horse ridden by a woman, a camel by a man, another camel by another man, and a donkey by young adult male.]] / Dewey: Carlo, lost in a worn... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080224 |
| Monday, February 25, 2008 | Dewey: Since you keep forgetting your card, try memorizing the number!
/ Computer Victim: It's too long. / Dewey: I've memorized mine.
/ Computer Victim: Well, you've got a librarian brain. / Dewey: ...like there's really such a thing as a "Librarian Brain"!
/ Cathy: Well *something* picked out those... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080225 |
| Tuesday, February 26, 2008 | Computer Victim to Dewey: There are FOURTEEN digits in my library card! / Computer Victim: That's a HUNDRED TRILLION! / Computer Victim: You'll NEVER need that many numbers!
/ Merv: I lost my library card. Again. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080226 |
| Wednesday, February 27, 2008 | Computer Victim: I want a shorter library card number.
/ Dewey: Okay. / [[Dewey cuts the card in half]] < http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080227 |
| Thursday, February 28, 2008 | Elderly Patron: I'd like a number that's easier to memorize.
/ Dewey: You want a vanity card? / Elderly Patron: I guess I do.
/ Dewey: We don't do that. Maybe the aftermarket can help. / Elderly Patron: "Aftermarket?"
/ Merv: [[offering card]] I can get you something in a 007. For your eyes only. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080228 |
| Friday, February 29, 2008 | Elderly male patron: [[to Tamara]] How did *you* memorize your library card number?
/ Tamara: It's easy! / Tamara: Each digit is a child, and they're playing together under a rainbow—odd numbers, even numbers, primes ... When it's time to check out my books I just ask them to line up—and they do! / [[Dewey... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080229 |
| Saturday, March 01, 2008 | Woman: Where are the self-help books?
/ Dewey: If I told you it would defeat the purpose. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080301 |
| Sunday, March 02, 2008 | The Unshelved Book Club presents "DOGBY WALKS ALONE" by Wes Abbott / [[Picture of man in dog's costume holding a lifeless beauty in the rain. Actual illustration by Wes Abbott]] / Dewey: Chaos has taken HAPPYPLACE, the world's happiest theme park. As security guards chase gun-toting mascots around... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080302 |
| Monday, March 03, 2008 | [[Mel in a meeting with Tamara and Dewey]]
/ Mel: Our new policy is to do whatever it takes to make people happy!
/ Tamara: That's wonderful!
/ Dewey: That's insane! / Tamara: It makes us the solution instead of the problem!
/ Dewey: It makes us the doormat instead of the doorway! / [[Mel now talking to... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080303 |
| Tuesday, March 04, 2008 | Mel: You should take a page from Tamara's book.
/ Dewey: Then her book would be incomplete! / Tamara: You could COPY my page!
/ Dewey: Wouldn't that violate your intellectual property?
/ Tamara: I'm sure you'd stay within the bounds of fair use. / Mel: What are you TALKING about?
/ Dewey: I don't know,... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080304 |
| Wednesday, March 05, 2008 | Woman: This book is NOT late.
/ Dewey: Okay, it's not. / Woman: Really? But it was due yesterday.
/ Dewey: I'm stuck in the past. So to me it's on time. / Tamara: Didn't that feel good?
/ Dewey: Yes, but only because she's resistant to good news.
/ Woman: Here's my fine. Plus a self-imposed penalty. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080305 |
| Thursday, March 06, 2008 | Dewey: I didn't *erase* her fine. I told the computer it was yesterday and checked her book in. So she never *had* a fine. / Mel: That's against policy!
/ Dewey: I thought our policy was to do whatever it takes to make people happy. / Mel: You're making *me* unhappy.
/ Dewey [[walking away]]: The needs... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080306 |
| Friday, March 07, 2008 | Patron: When will my book be in?
/ Doreen: I can't tell you / Patron: Why not?
/ Doreen: If I told you, you'd be unhappy. And I'm not allowed to make you unhappy. / Patron: I'm unhappy not knowing.
/ Doreen: Then let me remind you that everyone loves a surprise. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080307 |
| Saturday, March 08, 2008 | [[In the library]]
/ Patron: I'd like a list of everything that can cause cancer.
/ Dewey: [[offfering a book]] Here's a good start. / [[patron looks at the book]] / Patron: [[handing book back]] I really didn't want to know this
/ Dewey: Consider your question unasked. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080308 |
| Sunday, March 09, 2008 | The Unshelved Book Club presents "Pandora's Star" and "Judas Unchained" by Peter F. Hamilton / [[There are two trains which each appear to be moving to separate gateways. The train we can see is full to overflowing, and people are frantically crawling out of windows and doorways trying to get out.]] / Dewey:... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080309 |
| Monday, March 10, 2008 | Woman: But I don't even HAVE a dog.
/ Dewey: Then explain the bite mark. / Woman: Well it wasn't me. That thing would never fit in my mouth.
/ Dewey: Says you. / [[The woman tries to put book in mouth]]
/ Dewey: I guess you're right.
/ Mel[[covering her eyes]]: I didn't see that, I didn't see that http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080310 |
| Tuesday, March 11, 2008 | [[Dewey is standing in line behind a woman at a coffee stand.]]
/ Woman: Can you make that a split shot?
/ Dewey: Not only is that pretentious, it's a waste of coffee! / Dewey: He can't make half a shot. So he has to throw two half-shots away!
/ Barista: Actually, I was going to offer them to you. / Dewey... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080311 |
| Wednesday, March 12, 2008 | Patron: My parents sent me to the library for punishment.
/ Dewey: Scared straight, huh? Want something to read?
/ Patron: Don't make it worse. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080312 |
| Thursday, March 13, 2008 | Merv: I feel like I'm better than everyone else.
/ Dewey: Me too. / Merv: I'm told I'll grow out of it.
/ Dewey: I never did. / Merv: How do you get through the day?
/ Dewey: I've learned to love the little people.
/ Old woman patron: Is it "I" before "E" except after "G"?
/ Second woman patron: No. I told... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080313 |
| Friday, March 14, 2008 | [[Circulation Desk]] Young Female Patron: Don't technique me!
/ Dewey: Excuse me? / Young Female Patron: I can tell you've had training in dealing with my type. You're putting me in a box in your mind and scheming how to de-escalate this situation. / [[Turning to Tamara]] Dewey: Actually I was thinking... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080314 |
| Saturday, March 15, 2008 | [[In the library Dewey is standing behind the reference desk poised like he is engaged in a debate]]
/ Dewey: I accept the thanks of a grateful nation. / Dewey: My opponent? An immoral windbag.
/ Fred: Is he okay?
/ Tamara: Oh no. He's gone negative. / Dewey: Together we can make a difference!
/ Tamara:... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20080315 |
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