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Sunday, May 10, 2009 {{Unshelved Book Club}} / [[A basketball player in mid-jump, ball in contact with one hand which is high in the air, #42 on his jersey]] / A sense of where you are / by John McPhee / Dewey: Bill Bradley, an only child from Crystal City, MO, learned to play basketball because he could play by himself,...
Monday, May 11, 2009 [[At the ref desk. Dewey is dancing to his i-pod, earbuds in place.]] / Merv: What are you listening to? / Dewey: The new U2 album. It's excellent! / Merv: Who's "U2"? / Sanjay: What's an "album"? / [[Dewey frowns]] / [[Sanjay and Merv have left the ref desk.]] / Sanjay: I think he bought it. / Merv: He's...
Tuesday, May 12, 2009 Angry woman: This book is not "new". / Dewey: It's slightly used. But perfectly serviceable. / Angry woman: It was on your "new books" shelf. / Dewey: Those are new to the *library*. / Angry woman: Then you need more precise labels! / Dewey: Like many organizations, we find that *imprecision* makes for...
Wednesday, May 13, 2009 Woman: I'm hoping you're the best librarian here. / Dewey: It's lunch. I'm the *only* librarian here. / Woman: Then I guess you're the best. / Dewey: Also the worst. / Woman: And the *tallest*! And the *shortest*! / Dewey: Was there an actual question? / Woman: And the *oldest*! And the *youngest*!
Thursday, May 14, 2009 [[A little girl is holding a book out to Tamara while her father looks on.]] / Tamara: Sorry, honey, I can't read that to you right now. / Father: Then I guess I'LL do it. / [[Tamara looks at the girl's father.]] / Tamara: You don't seem too HAPPY about it. / Father: I've got places to be. But I promised...
Thursday, May 14, 2009 [[A little girl is holding a book out to Tamara while her father looks on.]] / Tamara: Sorry, honey, I can't read that to you right now. / Father: Then I guess I'LL do it. / [[Tamara looks at the girl's father.]] / Tamara: You don't seem too HAPPY about it. / Father: I've got places to be. But I promised...
 
Friday, May 15, 2009 Computer victim: I emailed you a reference question. / Dewey: We'll respond within 24 hours. / Computer victim: It said responses would be "prompt". / Dewey: Next day *is* prompt. / Computer victim: I changed my mind. I want to ask in person. / Dewey: No double booking.
Saturday, May 16, 2009 [[A boy has spilled his drink on a book]] / Mom: It's OK [[Boy is crying]] / Dewey: It's Okay assuming your allowance will pay to replace that book. / Mom: That's not the most helpful thing you could say. / Dewey: What would help more? / Mom: Display generosity of spirit! / Dewey: I'll include paper towels...
Sunday, May 17, 2009 The Unshelved Bookclub presents: The Enthusiast by Charlie Haas / Dewey: Henry first tried a kite buggy in an empty parking lot. / It was empty because the company was defrauded by executives putting his father out of work. / Henry was pretty mad. / He tried pre-law, dreaming of taking down the bad guys. / But...
Monday, May 18, 2009 Woman: [[Holding a book out to Dewey]] This is unclean. / Dewey: Okay. / Woman: No it's not okay. It's *filthy*! / Dewey: The library serves a wide variety of patrons. / Woman: There is actual *dirt* on this book. / Dewey: Oh hey, yeah, that thing's a mess.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009 Tamara: After you handle the book, wash your hands with soap and water. / Tamara: Make sure you lather for at least thirty seconds. / Woman: Any other advice? / Tamara: Avoid meat. It's full of germs and bad Karma. / Dewey: Must helpfulness always turn to propaganda?
 
Wednesday, May 20, 2009 Library Tip #58 : Judge a Book By Its Cover / John Smith:This doesn't look good. / Dewey: It's not. / John Smith: You read it? / Dewey: Of course not. / John Smith: Any suggestions? / Dewey: Reshelve it and back away slowly.
Thursday, May 21, 2009 Library tip #59 : You can't teach an old computer new tricks / Man: I'm going to edit some video [[points to camcorder in his hand]] / Dewey: [[looks at computer]] Not on *that* relic. / Man: Where can I find something newer. / Dewey: Computer store. / Man: Will this at least do red eye? / Dewey: Only...
Friday, May 22, 2009 Mel: Ready? / Dewey: I was born ready...after that everything went downhill.
Saturday, May 23, 2009 Computer victim: The shift key is sticking. / Dewey: There are two / Computer victim: But I can only type half as fast. / Dewey: Guinness will be *so* disappointed.
Sunday, May 24, 2009 [[Girl sits reading on sofa, brother looking over her shoulder]] / Boy: What'cha reading? / Girl: "From The Mixed-Up Files Of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler" by E.L. Konigsberg. It won the Newberry Medal. / Boy: For what, longest title? / Girl: For being awesome. It's about this girl Claudia who runs away with...
 
Monday, May 25, 2009 Tamara: [[looks at a piece of paper]] Jury duty! / Dewey: I feel like I won the *anti-lottery*. / Tamara: You get to do your civic duty! / Dewey: I wonder how much coffee I can bring into a courtroom. / Tamara: [[Clasped hands]] You want to be alert to ensure justice is done! / Dewey: I want to avoid...
Tuesday, May 26, 2009 Tamara: You don't know how lucky you are! / Dewey: You've never gotten jury duty? / Tamara: Every year. / And every year I tell the judge I love everybody equally. / And every year she excuses me against my will. / Dewey: I wonder if that would work for me! / Tamara: Probably not. You'll be under oath...
Wednesday, May 27, 2009 [[At the courthouse: partially visible sign out front reads Mallville Courthouse and Drive-thro {{ugh is cut off}} Pet Shampoo]] / Dewey: [[Speech bubble appears above the building]] I'm reporting for Jury Duty. / [[Inside]] / Clerk: I'll alert the media. / Clerk: All the electrical outlets are taken,...
Thursday, May 28, 2009 Off-panel voice: Juror 18, you're a librarian? / Dewey: No, I thought it was a good idea to lie under oath. / Off-panel voice: So you're not a librarian? / Dewey: No, I am. Just injecting a little levity. / Off-panel voice: You answer questions all day for a living? / Dewey: Yes. / Off-panel voice: Then...
Friday, May 29, 2009 Mel: You're back from jury duty already? / Dewey: Only to tell you I'll be sequestered for a lengthy trial. I may not return to work for several weeks. / Mel: They kicked you out, huh? / Dewey: [[studies fingernails]] I set a new record. / Dewey: [[makes quotation marks with fingers]] I guess they don't...
 
Saturday, May 30, 2009 [[Randy addresses various patrons]] / Randy: I've got all the information you need right here. / Randy: I'd ban *your* books. / Randy: You can volunteer at *my* library any time! / Mel: What do you do at harassment training, anyway. / Randy: Hit on my classmates. They're bored, and they're not allowed...
Sunday, May 31, 2009 The Unshelved bookclub presents: The Problem With the Puddles written by Kate Feiffer, illustrated by Tricia Tusa. / [[Colleen is reading to Doreen, who is drawing while they talk.]] / Colleen: The Puddles are stuck in the country because of strangely shaped rain clouds. / What do they call their daughter?...
Monday, June 01, 2009 Woman: [[points to back]] Do you have a lumbar cushion? / Dewey: No. / Woman: What can you offer me? / Dewey: A wooden chair with a missing leg, or a stained stool of questionable origin. / Woman: How would those help my back? / Dewey: I'm just trying to get you off mine.
Tuesday, June 02, 2009 Man: Is that enough personal information? / Dewey: Some might say too much. / Man: I wanted to ensure you had everything you needed. / Dewey: You're just getting a *library card*. / Man: So the part about my night sweats was ...? / Dewey: ... something I'm trying hard to forget.
Wednesday, June 03, 2009 Library Tip #60: Just say "no" / [[Library patron standing in line behind Merv, who has a large stack of items to be checked out.]] / Merv: [[turning to library patron]] I forgot my library card. Can I borrow yours? / [[Ned is sitting, library patron is standing]] / Ned: I was just about to leave....
 
Thursday, June 04, 2009 [[Dewey is carrying a box of VHS tapes]] / Kathy: Isn't VHS a dying format? / Dewey: That's why these were on sale! / Kathy: What about picture quality? / Dewey: A certain class of movie is best watched in lo-fi. / Kathy: Is this because I mocked you for wanting a Blu-Ray player? / Dewey: No need to make...
Friday, June 05, 2009 Tamara: That doesn't look fiscally responsible. / Dewey: [[Opening a box]] It's the Mighty Muggs Biggs Darklighter figure! / Dewey: [[Holding up the action figure]] I'm jumpstarting the economy. And investing in the future. / Dewey: Plus he looked so forlorn up there on the shelf. / Tamara: He does have...
Saturday, June 06, 2009 Patron [[smiling proudly and holding up a heavily-patched book]: I repaired this! / Dewey: No, you bought it.
Sunday, June 07, 2009 [[Panel text (c) 2009 Mark Schultz. Panel illustrations (c) 2009 Zander Cannon & Kevin Cannon. Used by Permission]] / The Unshelved bookclub presents: / Dewey: Bloort 183 is an alien scientist sent to observe Earth. / It's not just idle curiosity. His people, the Squinch, have a looming genetic problem....
Monday, June 08, 2009 Man: I need a new career. / Mel: We have lots of resources that can help you! / Mel: There are books, databases that offer career guidance, and some great websites. / But my first recommendation is actually a local agency that helps people just like you! / [[The man hangs his head.]] / Mel: Is there...
 

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