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| Saturday, February 16, 2002 | [[Dewey is at the reference desk, talking to a patron on the phone.]]
/ Patron: What is the capitol of Minnesota?
/ Dewey: "Please." / Patron: "Please" is the capitol of Minnesota?
/ Dewey: No, "please" is the word to use when asking a question. / [[It's later. Dewey is reading with his fee on the reference desk.]]
/ Mel: How many questions have you answered today?
/ Dewey: Not a single one so far. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020216 |
| Sunday, February 17, 2002 | Patron: I, uh, read this, uh, book you, uh, recommended.
/ Dewey: What did you think of it? / Patron: It, uh, well, I thought, um... / Patron: It would make a good movie?
/ Dewey: Good enough. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020217 |
| Monday, February 18, 2002 | [[Middle-aged male patron at the reference desk]] / Patron: I want to start an Internet company!
/ Dewey: Are you serious? / Patron: I read in "Time" that everybody who does gets rich!
/ Dewey: I think that was an old issue. / [[Dewey rubs forehead]]
/ Patron [[looking more closely at the magazine]]: Hmmm... Maybe I'll just volunteer for the Gore campaign. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020218 |
| Tuesday, February 19, 2002 | [[Dewey is working at a computer]]
/ Colleen: There's a girl with a DOG in the library!
/ Dewey: It's a seeing-eye dog, so it's okay. / Colleen: She's NOT BLIND! It's a DACHSUND!
/ Dewey: She SAID she was blind. She's listening to books on tape... / Colleen: I'm going to do something about this!
/ Dewey: Remember to identify yourself. Shrill voices tend to sound alike. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020219 |
| Wednesday, February 20, 2002 | [[Colleen approaches a girl wearing headphones. Her eyes are closed, and a dog is sitting on her lap.]]
/ Colleen: Young lady, you are NOT blind, and that is NOT a seeing-eye dog!
/ Girl: Mom? Is that you? / Colleen [[frustrated]]:End this charade NOW!
/ Girl: What's that, Baskerville? Is something wrong?
/ Dog: YAP! YAP! / Colleen [[walking away]]: This is RIDICULOUS!
/ Girl: A hurricane? An earthquake? A wild boar?
/ Dog: YAP! YAP! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020220 |
| Thursday, February 21, 2002 | [[Colleen guides a young man wearing sunglasses and holding a blind cane to a young woman wearing earphones and a dachschund in her lap.]]
/ Colleen: This is Matt. He really IS blind. Matt, how do you feel about this girl MOCKING your affliction? / Matt: What's your dog's name?
/ Girl: Baskerville. He's an EXCELLENT seeing-eye dog! / Colleen: DEWEY!!!
/ Matt: I thought librarians were QUIET.
/ Girl: Doesn't she know we depend on our hearing? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020221 |
| Friday, February 22, 2002 | Girl: Good news, Dewey! I can see again!
/ Dewey: That IS good news! But where's your dog? / Girl: I lent him to my new friend Matt!
/ Dewey: Uh, that's nice, but seeing-eye dogs require very special training... / Girl [[narrating over a panel of Matt approaching a table of girls with the dachschund on a leash]]: Don't worry, Baskerville will get Matt EXACTLY what he wants!
/ Girl 1: What a cute dog!
/ Girl 2: Come sit with us! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020222 |
| Saturday, February 23, 2002 | Merv: I don't understand this Sting song. "Set Them Free."
/ Dewey: It's based on an old saying... / Dewey: Something like, "If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, they were yours all along." / Merv: Like when you throw a boomerang and it comes back and hits you on the head?
/ Dewey: In my experience, yes. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020223 |
| Wait | [[Colleen talks to Dewey while he is sitting at the desk reading a book]]
/ Colleen: Dewey, can you help me?
/ Dewey: Sure, Just let me finish this. / Colleen: Oh, okay. / colleen: How many pages do you have left?
/ Dewey: um, 172. / Colleen: I am not going to wait while you read 172 pages!
/ Dewey: Actually, I was hoping to finish the trilogy. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020224 |
| Monday, February 25, 2002 | [[Man stands behind/next to Dewey]]
/ Dewey: You know how some patrons are more assertive than others?
/ Mel: Yeah, some DEMAND your attention! / [[They continue to ignore the man]]
/ Dewey: While others just politely wait for eye contact...
/ Mel: Often I don't even know they're there! / Dewey: Sometimes if I wait them out they just go away.
/ Mel: Really? That's never happened to me...
/ [[Man dejectedly walks away]] http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020225 |
| Tuesday, February 26, 2002 | Merv: Hey Dewey, can you help me reach something?
/ Dewey: Sure, hold on. / Merv: Whatcha doing?
/ Dewey: Getting the stepstool. / Merv: A stepstool? Yeah, I guess you might need that...
/ Dewey: What is it that you're trying to reach? / Merv: The next level on "Space Dragons."
/ Dewey: Of course. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020226 |
| Wednesday, February 27, 2002 | Dewey [[Helmeted]]: Hey Mel.
/ Mel: DEWEY?!? / Dewey: Why are you looking at me like that?
/ Mel: I'm waiting for this fantasy sequence to dissolve into real life. / Dewey: No, I really did buy a motorcycle.
/ Mel: In that case, I'm waiting for you to come to your senses. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020227 |
| Thursday, February 28, 2002 | Mel: What on earth possessed you to buy a MOTORCYCLE?
/ Dewey: They're actually very sensible! / Dewey: They're inexpensive, fuel-efficient easy to park, and qualify as car pools! / Mel: "Plus they're wicked fun!"
/ Dewey: Plus, they're wicked fun! / Mel: I'll start a collection for your funeral.
/ Dewey: Burial at sea always sounded kind of nice... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020228 |
| Friday, March 01, 2002 | Colleen: I had a cousin with a motorcycle. You hardly notice the missing arm... / Merv: My friend's dad had a Harley. Now he has a really cool wheelchair! / Mel [[holding "Life Expectancy" book]]: ...but the good news is you probably won't die of cancer! / Dewey: Now I understand why the salesman recommended earplugs...
/ Merv: Can I have your Xbox after you're gone? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020301 |
| Saturday, March 02, 2002 | Merv: What does Bill Gates DO with all his money?
/ Dewey: Actually, he gives a lot of it to libraries. / Merv: Really? LIBRARIES? / Merv: If it were ME I'd definitely spend it on a lunar colony instead! / Merv: Uh, no offense...
/ Dewey: None taken. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020302 |
| Sunday, March 03, 2002 | "What are you doing?" / Merv: Reading this cool graphic novel that Dewey recommended! / Girl: Updating the "Manga Grrl" website that Dewey helped me make! / Boy: Checking out a video Dewey said I'd love! / Colleen: Got something against actual books, do you?
/ Dewey: Only the boring ones. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020303 |
| Monday, March 04, 2002 | [[Merv is wearing a shirt with the letter T on it]]
/ Tamara: "T"? That's my *favorite letter*! / Merv: "Favorite letter"?
/ Tamara: *sigh* Ever since I was a little girl. / Merv: "Favorite letter"?
/ Dewey: I see you've met the new children's librarian. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020304 |
| Tuesday, March 05, 2002 | Balding Man: I'm looking for a wife.
/ Dewey: Where did you leave her? / Balding Man: No, I'm looking for A wife.
/ Dewey: Someone ELSE'S wife? / Balding Man: No no, I'm trying to find one for MYSELF. I thought this would be a goold place to look!
/ Dewey: Oh. / Dewey: Did you try the romance section?
/ Balding Man: No, I generally avoid comparisons with Fabio... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020305 |
| Wednesday, March 06, 2002 | [[Dewey puts up a flyer with a heart on it]]
/ Colleen: A DATING SERVICE?!?
/ Dewey: Sure, why not? / Colleen: Because a library is not a MEAT MARKET!
/ Dewey: Don't look now but that man is giving you the eye! / Colleen: He's a TEENAGER, and that's not the EYE he's giving me!
/ Dewey: Oops, there I go mixing up body parts again! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020306 |
| Thursday, March 07, 2002 | Woman: I heard something about a dating service?
/ [[Dewey holds up a piece of paper]]
/ Dewey: It's an experiment. Fill out this form. / Woman (reading): "If you were a Dewey Decimal Number, which would you be"?
/ Dewey: It's sort of a pre-screening... / Woman: That's the stupidest question I've ever heard!
/ Dewey: ...and you passed. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020307 |
| Friday, March 08, 2002 | [[A man talks with a cigarette in his mouth]]
/ Man: Got any books on quitting smoking?
/ Dewey: Know how my uncle got started? / [[The man still has the cigarette in his mouth]]
/ Man: How's that?
/ Dewey: Took the cigarette out of his mouth. / [[They look at each other]] / [[Man still has cigarette in mouth]]
/ Man: He write a book? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020308 |
| Saturday, March 09, 2002 | Merv: Don't quit smoking! Smoking is so cool!
/ Smoker: Oh yeah? / Smoker: What about lung cancer? Emphesema? I smell bad, my girlfriend won't kiss me, I can't eat at half the restaurants in town, it's incredibly expensive, I cough up gross stuff all the time, my teeth are yellow,
/ Merv: Dude, it's worth it! / Dewey: Merv, I see your mother.
/ Merv: She's at home! / Dewey: Then I see her phone number.
/ Merv: Bye. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020309 |
| Sunday, March 10, 2002 | Elderly Man: Uh, I need to use this P.C.
/ Dewey: I'm sorry, it's in use. Please sign up on the waiting list.
/ < http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020310 |
| Monday, March 11, 2002 | "Excuse me, where are the books on tape?" / Colleen: Why, you don't know how to READ? / Tamara: Wouldn't you rather go to a storytime? / Dewey: In the audio books section.
/ Merv: "Tape"? Dude, get a CD player! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020311 |
| Tuesday, March 12, 2002 | Woman: Can you find a shoe store that stocks my size?
/ Dewey: We can try. What size? / Woman: Do you have a ruler?
/ Dewey [[rummaging through a drawer]]: Supposedly, yes. / [[Dewey is on the phone with the woman's foot in his hand while her leg is over the counter]]
/ Dewey: About three and a half library cards. Hello? Hello? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020312 |
| Wednesday, March 13, 2002 | [[Woman holds up an old 8" floppy disk]]
/ Woman: Can you help me get a file off this disk?
/ Dewey: Wow! Let me see that! / Dewey: I haven't seen an 8" floppy since I was a kid!
/ Merv: What's that thing made of, VINYL? / Woman: Okay, I get the point: It's old. Can you help me?
/ Dewey: You're in luck! No place has computers more obsolete than a public library!
/ Merv: I have this overwhelming urge to see "Tron"... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020313 |
| Thursday, March 14, 2002 | [[Dewey leans on a table in front of Ned, who, except for his head is obscured by an open newspaper he is reading]]
/ Dewey: Ned, you can't do that here...
/ Ned: What, READ in a PUBLIC LIBRARY? / Dewey: Of course you can read, but...
/ Ned: So it's my choice of reading matter! Well you can't censor free speech! / Dewey [[Standing next to Ned, hands on hips]]: Ned, you're naked!
/ Ned [[Head now below newspaper, but we see his hairy legs and feet resting on the table in front of him]]: Fascist. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020314 |
| Thursday, March 14, 2002 | [[Dewey leans on a table in front of Ned, who, except for his head is obscured by an open newspaper he is reading]]
/ Dewey: Ned, you can't do that here...
/ Ned: What, READ in a PUBLIC LIBRARY? / Dewey: Of course you can read, but...
/ Ned: So it's my choice of reading matter! Well you can't censor free speech! / Dewey [[Standing next to Ned, hands on hips]]: Ned, you're naked!
/ Ned [[Head now below newspaper, but we see his hairy legs and feet resting on the table in front of him]]: Fascist. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020314 |
| Friday, March 15, 2002 | Merv: Why didn't you invite me to your book club?
/ Dewey: Because you don't read. / Merv: I do SO read! Look, I'm reading this!
/ Dewey: "How to win at Space Dragons" Yes, a classic of western literature. / Merv: What? My teacher says it counts!
/ Dewey: Only because she's given up on you. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020315 |
| Saturday, March 16, 2002 | Merv: So I don't read much! I still know a lot!
/ Dewey: "He that boasts of his own knowledge proclaims his ignorance." / Merv: Who said that?
/ Dewey: You mean you don't know? / Merv: I suppose it's in some BOOK.
/ Dewey: I know one way to find out... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020316 |
| Sunday, March 17, 2002 | [[Dewey is laying down in his arms on a desk]]
/ Mel: Drink a little too much last night?
/ Dewey: No, I saw a movie. / Mel: So you stayed up late?
/ Dewey: No, but it was a FRENCH movie. / Mel: So it made you sad?
/ Dewey: No, it was just so boring I haven't been able to shake it. What should I do? / Mel: Take two "Die Hard"'s and call me in the morning.
/ [[Dewey is holding the movies Die Hard and Die Hard 2]] http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020317 |
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