You're browsing the archives of Unshelved.
You can search these comics too.
show: [ full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]
| Wednesday, November 13, 2002 | Little Old Lady : Is this book violent?
/ Colleen: No. / Little Old Lady : It looks like it might be violent.
/ Colleen: Which part, the sleeping cat or the roaring fire? / Little Old Lady : I just don't like violence.
/ Colleen: Trust me, this is the book for you. / [[Lady leaves, Colleen looks at different book handed to her by Merv]]
/ Merv: This better not be a romance.
/ Colleen: "Slaughter In Suburbia"? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20021113 |
| Thursday, November 14, 2002 | Dewey: Sir, please don't reshelve the books yourself.
/ Patron: Don't worry, I know how...Alphabetically by author, then title. / Dewey: Actually this particular section is organized by WIDTH.
/ Patron: Oh...sorry. / [[Patron leaves, Mel arrives carrying books and watches Dewey put books on shelf]]
/ Mel: What on earth was THAT all about?
/ Dewey: Give 'em an inch, they'll take a mile. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20021114 |
| Friday, November 15, 2002 | Computer Victim: I need to send an "e-mail."
/ Dewey: Use any of the public computers. / Computer Victim: I'm sorry, How much is postage for an "e-mail"?
/ Dewey: Here, let me help you. / Dewey: Do you have an account?
/ Computer Victim: You mean at the bank? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20021115 |
| Saturday, November 16, 2002 | Dewey: We're signing you up for free email. Just pick a name to use.
/ Computer Victim: I already have one: JOHN SMITH! / Dewey: I'm pretty sure that one will be taken.
/ Computer Victim: Well they called me "Johnny" in the Army... / Dewey: That one too. They suggest "John4327".
/ Computer Victim: I don't recall ever being called THAT! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20021116 |
| Sunday, November 17, 2002 | First boy: ...And I heard that SCOTT said that LISA kisses like a FISH!
/ Second boy: If ANYONE knows what it's like to kiss a fish it's SCOTT! / Shadowed figure [[VERY LOUDLY]]: SHHHH!! / First boy: Who WAS that masked man?
/ Second boy [[shaking hands]]: And why did he just spit all over us? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20021117 |
| Monday, November 18, 2002 | [[two guys with books, reading with uncomfortable looks on their faces]] / [[two women sitting at a table working, also with uncomfortable looks on their faces]] / [[Dewey and Mel behind the desk]]
/ Dewey: It's quiet out there...TOO quiet!
/ Mel: That doesn't mean you get to take another coffee break. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20021118 |
| Tuesday, November 19, 2002 | [[Female and male patrons are chatting with each other. Masked and costumed figure is racing towards them]] / [[Masked figure holds finger to mouth]]
/ Masked figure [[VERY LOUDLY]]: SHH..
/ [[Hand reaches towards figure's back]] / [[Hand grabs back of mask]]
/ Masked figure: --Erk! / [[Dewey, looking angry, holds figure by the back of the mask]]
/ Dewey: You are in SO much trouble.
/ Masked figure: Oh, hi Dewey! I mean, UNHAND THE SHUSHER(tm)! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20021119 |
| Wednesday, November 20, 2002 | Dewey: Tell me again.
/ Shusher: I am THE SHUSHER(tm). Vigilant defender of the library's solemn silence. / Dewey [[covering eyes with hand]]: Oh man, I don't get paid nearly enough for this. Okay, what am I supposed to do now?
/ Shusher: Um... / Shusher [[walking behind Dewey]]: I know...you can be my SIDEKICK!
/ Dewey: Do I get to choose which side to kick? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20021120 |
| Thursday, November 21, 2002 | Shusher: "A race of silent aliens replaced my index finger with an energy weapon, giving me the power to keep our sector of space quiet!" / [[Colleen and Dewey are looking at the masked figure]]
/ Colleen: "THE SHUSHER(tm)? I thought Halloween was LAST month.
/ Dewey: You were right. Comics don't belong in libraries. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20021121 |
| Friday, November 22, 2002 | Shusher: The time has come for THE SHUSHER(tm) to reveal his true identity!
/ Dewey: I'll try to contain myself. / [[The figure removes his mask]]
/ Merv: It is I, Merv, mild-mannered young adult! Surprised?
/ Dewey: I'm afraid not. / Merv: Shoot. What gave me away?
/ Dewey [[pointing at Merv]]: Your Darth Vader underoos. I was there when you bought them on eBay. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20021122 |
| Saturday, November 23, 2002 | Dewey: So you see, Merv, it's not your job to shush people in the library, it's mine. / Merv: Good. My lips were getting all chapped.
/ Dewey. That's because you're spitting too much. / Merv: Will you show me the right way?
/ Dewey: Yes, but you must use this power only for good, never evil.
/ Caption: Is this...the end? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20021123 |
| Sunday, November 24, 2002 | [[Colleen, carrying Doreen, storms through the library past running children, a boy spray-painting graffiti on the wall, girls climbing the shelves, a boy playing tennis against the wall, and the squirrel]] / [Colleen and Dewey are behind the information desk]]
/ Colleen: Doreen kept me up all night. I hope no one asks me any questions.
/ Dewey: I hope that every day. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20021124 |
| Monday, November 25, 2002 | [[Dewey and a patron at the information desk.]]
/ Dewey: This says you still have a DVD checked out.
/ Patron: I put it in the bookdrop yesterday! / Tamara: Hey Dewey, I've got another patron who says he returned his materials!
/ Dewey: Me too. This is an epidemic! / Patron: Really? Should I get a shot or something?
/ Dewey: Or something have a nice day. / Dewey: What we need is a stakeout!
/ Tamara: Does everything turn into a bad TV show around you? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20021125 |
| Tuesday, November 26, 2002 | [[View of the bookdrop from inside the library.]] / [[Fingers coming from outside the library into the bookdrop.]] / [[Whole hand reaching from outside the library into the bookdrop.]] / [[Tamara and Dewey on the inside, watching the hand reaching into the bookdrop.]]
/ Tamara: I still say we should call the police.
/ Dewey: I still say you should let me use the superglue. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20021126 |
| Wednesday, November 27, 2002 | [[Outside the library a man is reaching into the bookdrop while a woman waits impatiently.]]
/ Man: Hold on, I've got something.
/ Woman: Hurry up! / Man: It's a DVD.
/ Woman: [[Reading DVD title]] "One Night at McCools" / [[Inside the library, Tamara and Dewey at the bookdrop as the hand is reaching from outside.]]
/ Tamara: That's cruel. No one should have to watch that movie.
/ Dewey: [[Holding DVD]] Next up: "Ishtar: the Director's Cut" http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20021127 |
| Thursday, November 28, 2002 | [[Outside the library, man and woman walking away from the bookdrop. Black silhouette in the foreground.]]
/ Man:[[Carrying stack of DVDs]] Look at all the great movies we found in the book drop!
/ Woman: I dunno, I've never heard of "The Lemon Sisters." / [[Colleen appears in front of the two with Doreen on her back.]]
/ Colleen: Ahem.
/ Man: Uh-oh. / Colleen: Those items aren't checked out.
/ Man: Yes they are. Just not by us. [[Getting elbowed by woman.]] Ow! / [[Colleen herding the two into the library.]]
/ Colleen: I'm sure you two are in a hurry to go deface some public property, but this will only take a minute. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20021128 |
| Friday, November 29, 2002 | Boys: We, uh, want to check out these movies we, uh, found.
/ Dewey: Uh huh. / Dewey: Tamara, meet the infamous book drop thieves.
/ Boys: We were going to return them!! / Tamara: Why didn't you just check out a DVD from the shelves?
/ Boys: The good stuff is always gone. / Dewey: The good stuff? "Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo"?
/ Tamara: Let me show you how to request movies. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20021129 |
| Saturday, November 30, 2002 | [[Mel is at the bottom of a ladder outside the library, looking up at Dewey, who is on the ladder]]
/ Mel: Is the roof leaking AGAIN?
/ Dewey: No, I'm installing our book drop theft deterrent. / [[Dewey climbs down]]
/ Mel: Isn't that your internet spy camera? The one that doesn't WORK?
/ Dewey: Well, yeah, but it LOOKS real! / [[Dewey looks up at the camera]]
/ Mel: Great. Our new security system is a scarecrow.
/ Dewey: Now if we could just get those birds off of it . . . http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20021130 |
| Sunday, December 01, 2002 | "Do you believe in a higher power?" / [[Dewey and Merv on the computer]]
/ Dewey: Zoo, defender of the ninth level.
/ Merv: Never seen anyone tougher!
/ < http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20021201 |
| Monday, December 02, 2002 | Patron: I'm researching my family tree. Can you look up my father?
/ Dewey: Maybe. Was he famous? / Patron: Anything but. A complete unknown. What books would he be in?
/ Dewey: Oddly, they tend not to write books about complete unknowns. / Patron: What about the internet? Microfilms?
/ Dewey: I'm not optimistic / Patron: Isn't this a library?
/ Dewey [exiting]: I think so. Wait hereand I'll go check. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20021202 |
| Tuesday, December 03, 2002 | [[Dewey is talking to a woman at the reference desk]]
/ Dewey: Genealogical research is a lifetime commitment. It's not easy. It means sifting through tons of information and maybe never finding what you're after. / [[Man runs through the library on fire]] / [[Focus back on Dewey and woman]]
/ Woman: What was THAT all about?
/ Dewey: He didn't take the advice I'm giving you. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20021203 |
| Wednesday, December 04, 2002 | [[The woman Dewey had previously discouraged from trying to research her genealogy earlier is holding out a book to Dewey at the reference desk.]]
/ Woman: Look what I found! And you said genealogy was hard!
/ Dewey [[holding his hand out]]: It usually is. Let me see that. / [[We see a book cover with "CANNIBALS IN THE ATTIC" written in big type above the picture of a house at night with only the attic light on. Below, in smaller text: "The Times and Crimes of the MALLVILLE TAYLORS" and "--Sean M. Ryan--"]] / Dewey [[holding book and looking down at it]]: But this is *horrifying!* Your father is in this book?
/ Woman [[pointing at the book]]: He wrote it. Never told us kids. Too gross, I guess. / Dewey [[handing the book back to the woman]]: Well that's...
/ Woman: I guess this explains his sudden conversion to vegetarianism. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20021204 |
| Thursday, December 05, 2002 | Dewey [[to a man at the information desk]]: Search without searching. / Dewey [[to a woman at a computer terminal]]: Look for nothing and find everything. / [[Merv is reading a book; Dewey addresses him from over his shoulder]]
/ Dewey: Read the book but don't look at the words. / Dewey [[to Mel]]: What's wrong with a little Eastern philosophy?
/ Merv [[to the computer user, in the background]]: Type without typing!
/ User: But nothing's happening! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20021205 |
| Friday, December 06, 2002 | Library Tip #10: Your library accepts a variety of payment methods.
/ Mel: Time for a moratorium on bartering for fines.
/ [[Dewey is holding a piglet, while a cow, sheep, three hens and other livestock are in Mel's office.]] http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20021206 |
| Saturday, December 07, 2002 | Woman with packages: These are all going first class.
/ Mel: I think you're confusing us with the Post Office. / Woman: You don't take credit cards? I think I have a check...
/ Mel: Ma'am this is a library. / Woman: I know, I know. It's wonderful. Can I get insurance on those? / [[Mel is carrying the packages in the background]]
/ Dewey: Pick me up some stamps while you're there. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20021207 |
| Sunday, December 08, 2002 | Patron [[handing a note to Dewey]]: I'm looking for this book / Dewey: I think there's an error.
/ Patron: No, it's right / Dewey: "How to Jump-Start Your CAT?"
/ Patron: She just lies around the house all day. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20021208 |
| Monday, December 09, 2002 | Man: I need a phone book.
/ Dewey: I have one right here. / Man: No, the one for Prescott, Arizona.
/ Dewey: I should have guessed. Let me see if we have one. / Dewey: You're very lucky.
/ Man: But I need the 1992 edition!! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20021209 |
| Tuesday, December 10, 2002 | [[Scene at a prison. Some are playing basketball, some are lifting weights. There is barbed wire and armed guards. Two inmates are talking]]
/ Big inmate: What are you in for?
/ Smaller inmate: They're still trying to find the guy. / Big inmate: Was it worth it?
/ Smaller inmate (Dewey): Yup. Worse directions I ever gave. / [[Flashback to help desk]]
/ Man: Just tell me how to get to the highway! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20021210 |
| Wednesday, December 11, 2002 | [[Dewey is putting a sign PUT EVERYTHING IN THE BOOKDROP next to the Book Drop]]
/ Woman: Everything? / [[Dewey puts a sign ABSOLUTELY between PUT and EVERYTHING]]
/ Man with DVD: Even these? / [[Final view of Book Drop. Signs: PUT ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING IN THE BOOKDROP, with YES, EVEN THOSE, and NO GARBAGE, and ONE ITEM AT A TIME, and NOT YOUR CAT, and CDS, DVDS, AND VIDEOS TOO, and NO OVERSIZED ITEMS. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20021211 |
| Thursday, December 12, 2002 | [[Two boys approach globe]] / [[One boy touches globe]] / [[They spin globe]] / [[The globe spins off onto the floor]] / [[The globe rolls by Tamara and Dewey]]
/ Tamara: Actually there's a great lesson in this about ecology.
/ Boy: Let's spin something else!
/ Other boy: Maybe they have another globe! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20021212 |
Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40
41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60
61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80
81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100
101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120
121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 >>