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| Wednesday, January 07, 2004 | Dewey: [[wearing crown with "King Vitamin" on it and ermine trimmed robe]] Well Buddy, I guess we should choose a t-shirt slogan now.
/ Buddy: [[wearing dark robe]] Cool, how? / [[Dewey and Buddy start walking away from the closet behind them]]
/ Dewey: We're off the clock. I move we take this meeting to the Mallville tavern.
/ Buddy: Seconded! / [[Doreen is looking around in front of the closet holding a mouse toy on a string.]]
/ Doreen: Mama?
/ < http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20040107 |
| Thursday, January 08, 2004 | [[The Mallville Tavern exterior is shown, including signs for a pool table and an open sign.]]
/ Voice: ... And then Cher said, "Is that thing real?!?"
/ Another voice: Ha ha ha! / [[Dewey is wearing a robe trimmed with ermine and drinking from a beer mug; Buddy is holding a mug with his eyes looking woozy.]] / Old man with moustache: [[holding hand over the speaker end of a cordless telephone receiver]] Hey Dewey, your boss wants to know why you locked the reference librarian in the broom closet.
/ Dewey: [[wearing King Vitamin crown and holding gavel]] Executive decision!
/ Woman leaning against chair nearby: [[primping hair]] Nice gavel.
/ [[Buddy passes out onto the table.]] http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20040108 |
| Friday, January 09, 2004 | Mel: I understand your committe has a t-shirt slogan for us?
/ Dewey: We voted and it was unanimous.
/ Colleen: That's a lie! I had nothing to do with it! / Dewey: If you'd bothered showing up for the vote -
/ Colleen: If you hadn't locked me in the broom closet - / Mel: Slogan.
/ Dewey: I can't remember. Buddy?
/ Buddy: [[holding a beer bottle in each hand and looking at a box of bottles]] I'm looking through the minutes now. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20040109 |
| Saturday, January 10, 2004 | [[All staff members (and Doreen) are wearing t-shirts that say, "What would Dewey do?"]]
/ Tamara: *This* is our new library t-shirt?
/ Buddy: [[pointing over his shoulder at Dewey]] It was Dewey's idea.
/ Dewey: You know, I kind of like committees!
/ Mel: Too bad, that's the last one you'll ever be on.
/ Colleen: [[pointing at herself and holding Doreen who is reading a book]] Oh please, put him on *my* committee! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20040110 |
| Sunday, January 11, 2004 | Adult male patron: [[standing behind Merv and crossing arms]] I have work to do. Stop playing games and leave now.
/ Merv: [[at computer]] I must have misheard you. / Merv: See, I'm playing a martial arts game. It's incredibly realistic. To win, you need to know how to kill or disable a man in 86 different ways. / Patron: Are you good at it?
/ Merv: State champion. / Dewey: [[standing behind Merv and crossing arms]] Stop threatening patrons.
/ Merv: I must have misheard you. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20040111 |
| Monday, January 12, 2004 | Angry Woman: But they said you had the information!
/ Dewey: "They" say a lot of things. / Dewey: Know what I want for my birthday?
/ Tamara: Peace, love, and understanding? / Dewey: No.
/ Tamara: Nail gun. / Dewey: You've been peeking at my list.
/ Tamara [[Off-panel]]: Well you did post it on the library home page. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20040112 |
| Tuesday, January 13, 2004 | {{Bill's Birthday strip drawn by Gene Ambaum}} / Buddy: Where do you want to go for your birthday tonight?
/ Dewey: We're meeting Merv at *Land of the Lost*. / Buddy: The theme restaurant?
/ Dewey: Yeah. You sit on rubber rafts and eat giant carrots. [[There's a sketch of a carrot labeled: "giant"]]
/ Ned: Man-sized lizards serve you. Dinosaurs attack hourly. / Dewey: Birthdays make me nostalgic for Sid and Marty Krofft.
/ Buddy: They make me hungry.
/ Ned: Let's order the *Far Out Space Nuts*. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20040113 |
| Wednesday, January 14, 2004 | [[Female patron carries her dog into the library as Dewey approaches, concern evident on his face.]]
/ Female Patron: Help! My dog isn't breathing! / [[Dewey begins mouth-to-nose resuscitation on the dog.]]
/ Female Patron: Will that work? / [[Dewey continues resuscitation efforts as Female Patron stands by. Two young male students approach carrying books. One carries a backpack over his shoulder.]]
/ Female Patron: Should I call 9-1-1?
/ Male Patron with backpack: I mean, I like books, but I'm REALLY going to have to rethink library school. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20040114 |
| Thursday, January 15, 2004 | Buddy: Why are you eating that dog?
/ [[Dewey giving dog mouth-to-mouth]] / Buddy: Isn't that against the law?
/ [[Dewey giving dog CPR]] / Female patron: I'm back. I called 9-1-1.
/ Buddy: See? You'd better stop.
/ [[Dewey giving dog mouth-to-mouth http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20040115 |
| Friday, January 16, 2004 | Female patron: Sally! Go away from the light! I've got a dog biscuit for you!
/ [[Dewey giving dog mouth-to-mouth]] / [[Dog looking surprised at Dewey]] / Female patron: Sally! You're alive!
/ [[Dog licking Dewey]]
/ Dewey: Please, no tongue!
/ Merv: A little too late for that, isn't it? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20040116 |
| Saturday, January 17, 2004 | [[A woman and her dog at Dewey's help desk]]
/ Woman: She wants to thank you for saving her life. Here, it's her favorite chew toy.
/ Dewey: Please, it's all in a day's work. / Woman: And she's like a sample of your scent.
/ Dewey: How's this? [[produces a sock]] / Tamara: This is sweet! You gave him your sock?
/ Dewey: Lost and found. Bottom drawer. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20040117 |
| Sunday, January 18, 2004 | [[Dewey is wearing a t-shirt that says "What would Dewey do?"]]
/ Patron in tie: [[pointing at Dewey]] I find your t-shirt offensive.
/ Dewey: That's your right. / Patron: I'm filing a complaint. What's your name?
/ Dewey: Dewey. / [[Patron looks up at Dewey. Dewey smiles.]] / [[Patron is talking to Mel, who is wearing a "What would Dewey do?" t-shirt.]]
/ Patron: [[pointing at Mel]] I find your t-shirt offensive. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20040118 |
| Monday, January 19, 2004 | Mel: Fines are too complicated and error-prone. We need a different system. [[points at Dewey, who is raising his hand]] Dewey? You have a suggestion? / Dewey: Whenever we try something new it's a huge disaster. Then we go back to the old way. This time let's skip directly to doing nothing. / Mel: Any *other* suggestions?
/ Colleen: Barcode patrons' heads.
/ Tamara: Voluntary donations.
/ Buddy: Death penalty for overdue books. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20040119 |
| Tuesday, January 20, 2004 | Dewey: What's this?
/ Mel: [[holding a cardboard box with a slot in the top]] A "conscience box." / [[Mel walks behind Dewey]] / Mel: [[turning back to Dewey]] Any other questions?
/ Dewey: [[raises hands]] Give me a minute, Mel. I'm still digesting that wealth of information. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20040120 |
| Wednesday, January 21, 2004 | Merv: [[points at cardboard box labelled "Conscience Box"]] Tell me about this.
/ Tamara: It's easy. Whenever you return something late you just make a deposit. / Merv: I decide how big my fines should be?
/ Tamara: Exactly. / Merv: [[walking off]] Excuse me, I have to check out the DVD section. I'll have it back by spring. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20040121 |
| Thursday, January 22, 2004 | Patron: How much do I owe?
/ Colleen: We don't have late fines anymore. / Patron: You don't?
/ Colleen: Just put whatever feels right in that box there behind you. / Colleen: [[in patron's face pointing finger]] And it had better feel pretty right, because this book was so late we had to buy a new copy! / Colleen: [[in staff room carrying cardboard box overflowing with cash]] I like this new "guilt box."
/ Mel: [[pouring coffee]] "Conscience box."
/ Colleen: Whatever. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20040122 |
| Friday, January 23, 2004 | [Young patron comes around a corner and looks at cardboard box labeled "Conscience box."]] / [[Patron looks closely at and in box]] / [[Dewey stands near box with arm propped against the wall]]
/ Dewey: It's an alternative to late fines.
/ Patron: Oh, I thought it was a lost and found. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20040123 |
| Saturday, January 24, 2004 | [[Mel addresses the staff]]
/ Mel: Not every new initiative will be a success.
/ Dewey: [[translating for Buddy]] "Another bad idea falls flat." / Mel: [[off-panel]] It's hard to measure the value of an idea like the "conscience box."
/ Dewey: " We lost $396 a day in revenue from overdue fines." / Mel: [[off-panel]] But we continue to move forward, embracing the spirit of innovation.
/ Dewey: "So it's back to the same-old, same-old."
/ Buddy: [[Raising hand]] Can I use the box to store my thumbnail collection? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20040124 |
| Sunday, January 25, 2004 | [[Text above panels reads: "What book changed your life?"]] / Tamara: [[Holding book]] "Sink Reflections" by Marla Cilley aka "Flylady" / Ned: [[Holding larger book]] "Atlas Shrugged" / Buddy: [[holding up book labeled "Holy Bible"]] / Dewey: [[in front of a crowd]] Al Jaffee's "Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions" http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20040125 |
| Monday, January 26, 2004 | [[Dewey wiggles nose. Tamara, Merv, and an elderly lady patron look on.]]
/ < http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20040126 |
| Tuesday, January 27, 2004 | [[Colleen and Tamara enter a room where Dewey and Mel are seated eating donuts.]]
/ Colleen: Any left for the rest of us?
/ Tamara: I hope not. Each one subtracts a week from your life. / Mel: Do we get to pick the week?
/ Dewey: [[pointing at half-eaten donut]] Mmmph ff ffmmffm.
/ Colleen: [[opening donut box as Tamara looks on frowning]] He said, "Colleen can have the rest." http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20040127 |
| Wednesday, January 28, 2004 | [[Tamara speaks to Dewey who is holding a donut. Mel is holding a donut box in the background.]]
/ Tamara: Donuts are one of the least healthy foods out there. It's like eating a grease-soaked sponge for breakfast! / [[Mel upends the donut box into her mouth in the background.]]
/ Dewey: That's why I'm just going to suck out the jelly filling from this one. / [[Tamara leaves. Mel walks off holding donut box in the background.]]
/ Dewey: [[holding a straw]] Don't leave, I've got an extra straw for you! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20040128 |
| Thursday, January 29, 2004 | [[Dewey walks by holding his stomach.]]
/ Patron in ball cap and sunglasses: He doesn't look well.
/ Tamara: A dozen donuts will do that to you. / Patron: A dozen? My record's 27 in one sitting. He's just gotta learn to pace himself. / Tamara: [[throwing hands into the air]] Am I th only person here who cares about nutrition?
/ Buddy: [[holding paper sack with dark interior and pointing to it]] I don't know who threw this ham sandwich in the garbage yesterday, but it was delicious! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20040129 |
| Friday, January 30, 2004 | Patron: I can't believe you don't have a copy! You're prejudiced against Asian-Americans! / [[Tamara arrives and hands Doreen to Colleen.]]
/ Tamara: You can have your daughter back now. We had a great time! / [[Patron looks at Colleen who is playing with and hugging Doreen.]] / Patron: So you don't have a copy, huh?
/ Colleen: No, but I can order it from another branch. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20040130 |
| Saturday, January 31, 2004 | Library Tip #23: You don't have to be crazy, but it helps. / Patron with goatee and striped shirt: [[pointing to another patron with spiky hair and a pile of books]] But you helped *her* for an hour!
/ Dewey: She's mentally ill. / Patron: Is that what it takes to get help?
/ Dewey: No, but if my boss thinks you're nuts she won't mind me spending extra time. / [[Patron is holding arm at an angle over his head.]]
/ Dewey: So, how long have you been a candycane?
/ Mel: [[standing behind Dewey, speaking behind hand]] Take all the time you need. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20040131 |
| Sunday, February 01, 2004 | Patron: Do you have minorities working here?
/ Dewey: I'm a minority. / Patron: You are?
/ Dewey: I'm a MALE LIBRARIAN. / Tamara: Can I help here?
/ Patron: I'm researching oppressed minorities in the workplace. / Tamara: Ask Dewey. He's a male librarian.
/ Dewey: Don't get me started about feminine hygiene products in the staff room. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20040201 |
| Monday, February 02, 2004 | [[Sign "Mallville celebrates Groundhog Day"]]
/ [[News cameras, children, boys holding "more snow days" and "see the shadow" signs]]
/ Buddy [[leaning out door]]: Well, uh, it certainly is cold, and, um...
/ Tamara: Don't improvise. Just look at your shadow and go back inside. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20040202 |
| Tuesday, February 03, 2004 | [[Mel, Colleen, Tamara, and Dewey are in a meeting]]
/ Mel: We need more feedback from our patrons!
/ Colleen: Is "feedback" the new way to say "complaints"? / Tamara: I get positive feedback every day!
/ Dewey: Is "positive feedback" the new way to say "baby spit-up"? / Mel: I need less feedback from my staff.
/ Colleen: Is "spit-up" the new way to say "vomit"?
/ Tamara: They're just air bubbles. Juicy little air bubbles. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20040203 |
| Wednesday, February 04, 2004 | [[A view of three comment cards.]]
/ Comment card 1: Dewey is always a treat to work with!
/ Comment card 2: For me there is only one librarian -- Dewey!
/ Comment card 3: Dewey has a keen devotion to customer service / [[Mel is holding the cards and talking to Dewey. Merv is next to them reading a dictionary.]]
/ Mel: Who wrote these, your mother?
/ Dewey: You obviously don't know my mother.
/ Merv: Which do you think, "ebullient" or "effervescent" http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20040204 |
| Thursday, February 05, 2004 | [[A library patron is talking to Dewey]] / Patron: Are these the stock comment cards?
/ Dewey: I think so. Why? / Patron [[reading from card]]: "My staff interaction today was
/ (A) Astounding
/ (B) Stupendous
/ (C) Earth-shattering" / Dewey: I edited them for improved usability.
/ Patron [[reading from card]]: "I wish to donate the following sum to the librarian audio-visual fund"
/ Buddy [[to Dewey]]: Get that new DVD player yet? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20040205 |
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