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| Tuesday, April 06, 2004 | [[Dewey is looking at a pile of beanbag chairs]]
/ Voice offscreen: Everybody gone?
/ Dewey: I thought I saw...No, never mind. We're good. / < http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20040406 |
| Wednesday, April 07, 2004 | [[Merv sits at a library computer, with a smile on his face. The library appears to be dark.]] / [[The computer display reads: "Mallville Public Library / Sorry the library is closed! Please try again during regular hours."]] / Merv smile has changed to a frown. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20040407 |
| Thursday, April 08, 2004 | [[The library at night with two cops peeking in the window.]]
/ Cop 1: Why are we here?
/ Cop 2: The motion detector went off. Again. / [[Cops starting to walk off. ]]
/ Cop 1: I bet some action figure fell off a bookcase.
/ Cop 2: That Dewey is due for another speeding ticket. / [[Merv peeks out from behind a stuffed giraffe inside the library.]] http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20040408 |
| Friday, April 09, 2004 | [[Merv stands by a bookshelf]] / Merv [[reaching for a book]]: Desperate times call for desperate measures. / [[Merv lies in a pile of books]]
/ Tamara: Well I'm alarmed.
/ Dewey: Me too. He reads faster than I do. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20040409 |
| Saturday, April 10, 2004 | [[Merv is standing, head hanging, in front of his father]]
/ Merv: I just wanted some extra computer time. But it didn't work.
/ Merv's father: I'm very disappointed in you, Merv. / [[Merv's father places his hands on Merv's shoulders]]
/ Merv's father: How many times have I told you. If you want to abuse a system you've first got to study how it works. / Merv: Does this mean I'm grounded again?
/ Merv's father: That depends. Did you fix my credit rating? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20040410 |
| Sunday, April 11, 2004 | Woman: I need a book on debt management.
/ Dewey: I'll have a look. / [[She talks as Dewey types]]
/ Woman: I can't understand how I got in this situation. / Woman: They said you've got to spend money to make money. and I wanted to make a lot of money...
/ < http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20040411 |
| Monday, April 12, 2004 | [[Dewey is at the computer behind the Reference Desk, with Cathy standing on the other side.]]
/ Dewey: I thought we had a discussion and agreed to be friends.
/ Cathy: Actually you just changed your phone number. / [[Another patron, looking curiously like Peter Fox from Foxtrot, stands behind Cathy in line at the Reference Desk. Cathy stands with arms folded across her chest.]]
/ Dewey: Not seeing the distinction.
/ Cathy: Don't worry. I'm here for professional help. / [[Dewey holds out a slip of paper to Cathy, as she looks around.]]
/ Dewey: That's very brave. Here is a list of recommended counsellors.
/ Cathy: Are there any other librarians here? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20040412 |
| Tuesday, April 13, 2004 | [[Exterior view of the Mallville Public Library, with patrons walking down the main steps.]]
/ Dewey: So how can I help you Cathy-the-Teacher?
/ Cathy: You've heard of the "No Child Left Behind Act"? / [[Dewey and Cathy stand on opposite sides of the Reference Desk.]]
/ Dewey: What about it?
/ Cathy: I'm about to leave some behind. / Dewey: And you want help figuring out where to leave them?
/ [[Cathy grasps Dewey by the shoulders, looking panicked.]]
/ Cathy: Dewey, I need to get their grades up or I'll lose my job! / [[Dewey and Cathy are at the desk, Cathy holding her head in her hand. Buddy shouts into a megaphone in the foreground.]]
/ Dewey: Ah, threats. They bring out the best in all of us.
/ Buddy: REMEMBER - RETURN YOUR BOOKS OR YOU WON'T GO TO HEAVEN! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20040413 |
| Wednesday, April 14, 2004 | [[Dewey stands looking at a shelf with a stack of books in his arms. Tamara comes up to him, gesturing toward Cathy, who stands at the Reference Desk, reading.]]
/ Tamara: Are you leading on the poor woman again?
/ Dewey: I assure you, this is strictly a professional transaction. / [[Dewey pulls a book off the shelf.]]
/ Tamara: Uh huh.
/ Dewey: She needed books. I was at the desk. End of story. / [[Dewey stalks away from Tamara, who stands with hands on her hips. Buddy approaches behind her, carrying a chair.]]
/ Tamara: Men. They wouldn't know a romantic overture if they sat in one.
/ Buddy: Where do you want this chair I carved you? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20040414 |
| Thursday, April 15, 2004 | [[Dewey's hands, full with a large stack of books, extend toward Cathy's hands.]]
/ Cathy: Wow Dewey, there are some really gems here!
/ Dewey: I didn't sleep through all of library school. / [[Dewey and Cathy stand on opposite sides of the Reference Desk. Cathy peruses a book.]]
/ Cathy: I'm impressed.
/ Dewey: ...just most of it. / [[Cathy turns to leave.]]
/ Cathy: Well thanks. I'm off to reinvent myself as a teacher.
/ Dewey: Oh. Okay. / [[Tamara leans back against the desk. Dewey is on the computer.]]
/ Tamara: She didn't ask you out?
/ Dewey: No. And I'm glad. Go away. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20040415 |
| Friday, April 16, 2004 | [[Dewey and Merv are in the library. Dewey holds a pile of books.]]
/ Dewey: Merv, how is this "No Child Left Behind Act" affecting you?
/ Merv: Is that some school thing? / [[Dewey removes a book from the shelf.]]
/ Dewey: Nevermind.
/ Merv: Because you know I don't do that. / [[Dewey points to his watch as Merv scratches his chin thoughtfully.]]
/ Dewey: Literally.
/ Merv: I think this week I have typhoid fever.
/ [[Outside the window, people carry "Save Merv" and "Get well, Merv" banners and placards.]] http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20040416 |
| Saturday, April 17, 2004 | Computer Victim: I pushed "delete," but I need that file again.
/ Dewey: I'm sorry to hear that. / Dewey: It's gone. [[mimes air quotes]] That's what "delete" means. / Computer Victim: They said you'd help me.
/ Dewey: No, what they said was, "Dewey, *you* deal with this one." http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20040417 |
| Sunday, April 18, 2004 | [[Two men--one taller, one shorter than average, approach Dewey.]]
/ Both men: I had trouble using your computers.
/ Mel: [[standing by]] Say it.
/ Dewey: [[glaring, holding out two questionnaires]] We welcome your valuable feedback. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20040418 |
| Monday, April 19, 2004 | [[Colleen (with Doreen on her back), Tamara, Dewey and Mel are standing in a row looking up.]]
/ Colleen: I thought I was higher.
/ Tamara: I thought I was lower.
/ Dewey: I thought these went out with carbon paper.
/ Mel: [[smiling proudly]] How do you like the new organization chart? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20040419 |
| Tuesday, April 20, 2004 | [[Dewey and Mel regard a complicated chart on the wall.]]
/ Dewey: Why do we need an org chart?
/ Mel: It lets us know where we stand in the library hierarchy. / Dewey: I prefer to sit.
/ Mel: This is serious, Dewey! What if our superiors stopped by today? / [[Dewey and Mel walk away from the wall chart.]]
/ Dewey: They'd get the same treatment as everyone else: 30 seconds to get to the point before I start web surfing.
/ Mel: I trust my relief is palpable. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20040420 |
| Wednesday, April 21, 2004 | [[Ned and Buddy look at the Mallville County Library organization chart]]
/ Ned: I'm glad to see my taxes are funding a feudal system.
/ Buddy: I don't know what that means. / Ned: It means authority is concentrated in the hands of one person with absolute power to whom everyone must bow. / [[Buddy bows at Dewey's feet]]
/ Merv: Why is he doing that?
/ Dewey: I don't know, but I kind of like it. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20040421 |
| Thursday, April 22, 2004 | [[Merv and Dewey stand in front of the complicated library organizational chart. Merv studies the chart while Dewey reads a comic book.]]
/ Merv: Do you realize there are seven levels between you and the head of the library?
/ Dewey: Is that a fact? / [[Merv and Dewey walk away from the wall chart. Dewey points to his head.]]
/ Merv: Who's above her? The president of the United States?
/ Dewey: Only in her mind. / [[Merv rubs his hands together mischievously.]]
/ Merv: I bet she loves to count all the people beneath her.
/ Dewey: Why, because you would?
/ Merv: Exactly. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20040422 |
| Friday, April 23, 2004 | Buddy: Did you see?
/ Tamara: See what, Buddy? / Buddy: Mel put us next to each other on the org chart!
/ Tamara: I didn't notice that. / Buddy: Do you think it means something.
/ Tamara: It means you were hired after me. / Buddy: Do you think it means something else? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20040423 |
| Saturday, April 24, 2004 | Dewey [[Poking head around corner]]: Coffee Run
/ Tamara [[Handing Dewey a piece of paper]]: Here's my order / [[In the coffee shop]]
/ Customer [[Pointing at Dewey]]: Make him say it again
/ Coffee Maker: Say it again
/ Dewey [[arms crossed, embarrassed]]: One cup of "This little piggy went to market" tea. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20040424 |
| Sunday, April 25, 2004 | [[Merv and two other boys play video games with virtual reality headsets and guns at the computers. Dewey is talking to Old Woman at desk.]] / Old Woman: "Will they teach me how to use that gun in your "Introduction to the Internet" class?" http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20040425 |
| Monday, April 26, 2004 | Mel: What's with the extra bean bags?
/ Dewey: [[holding stack of bean bags]] The outlet city branch needed a place to put them. / Mel: [[following Dewey]] Don't tell me THEY'RE remodeling!
/ Dewey: Nope. Replacing burned ceiling tiles. / Mel: [[moving on, back to Mel & Buddy]] Ah, yes, the famed 'fire-eater' program. I'm glad we're more safety-conscious than that.
/ Merv: [[to Buddy, adding more plugs to full outlet]] You SURE we can plug these all in?
/ Buddy: It's not like we'll run out of electricity! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20040426 |
| Tuesday, April 27, 2004 | [[Merv is perched in a diving position, wearing swim trunks]] / [[He executes a somersault in mid-air]] / [[Merv lands with a < http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20040427 |
| Wednesday, April 28, 2004 | [[Kid blowing a spitball through a straw]] / [[(same) Kid getting hit in the forehead by what looks like a crumpled-up ball of paper, about fist-sized]]
/ < http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20040428 |
| Thursday, April 29, 2004 | [[In the library. A bookshelf is in the background. A bean bag chair and several basketballs are in the foreground]]
/ Narrator: The peaceful Horta could eat through solid rock. / [[Child emerges from under bean bag chair with distressed expression. The basket balls have been crushed.]]
/ Narrator: When miners accidentally destroyed its eggs, it went on a killing rampage! / [[Dewey, holding a video recorder, stands with Merv and Buddy. All three are wearing Star Trek uniforms and Merv's ears are slightly pointed.]]
/ Dewey: Okay, "Spock", it's time for the mind-meld.
/ Merv: Are you sure this is a "retelling of a modern day classic"?
/ Buddy: Why is my shirt red? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20040429 |
| Friday, April 30, 2004 | [[Tamara is putting down the phone]]
/ Tamara: Hey Dewey, Outlet City wants their bean bags back!
/ Dewey: Good riddance! / Tamara: But they seemed so popular!
/ Dewey: Yes indeed. They gave the Young Adult section a veneer of fun. For one, brief shining moment this was THE place to be in the Library! / Tamara: In other words, you've had to actually work.
/ Dewey: Thank goodness the nightmare is finally over. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20040430 |
| Saturday, May 01, 2004 | [[In the Children's area of the library. A little girl is pointing at the posters.]]
/ Little Girl: "Mallville Library" "Tamara, Children's Librarian" "Banned Books Week" "Break in case of emergency"
/ Mother: She's like this everwhere! What's wrong with her?
/ Tamara: Your daughter is a reader. There's nothing you can do. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20040501 |
| Sunday, May 02, 2004 | [[Mel, Tamara, Colleen (with Doreen on her back), and Dewey are in the library. They each read from pieces of paper in their hands.]]
/ Mel: Look! The kindergarten class drew pictures of us to thank us for the library tour. I'm "lady in charge"
/ Tamara: I'm "ray of sunshine!"
/ Colleen: "Knows everything"
/ Dewey: "Triangle head"?!? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20040502 |
| Monday, May 03, 2004 | [[Dewey and Tamara are both on the phones at the Reference Desk. They look frazzled.]]
/ Dewey: No, I can't tell you if we have those books. [Pause.] Because the online catalog is down.
/ Tamara: No, I HAVEN'T memorized the Dewey Decimal System. [Pause.] Yes, I DID go to library school. / [[Colleen shoves Dewey and Tamara aside with glee.]]
/ Colleen: Move aside, relics of the information age!! The good old days are back! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20040503 |
| Tuesday, May 04, 2004 | [[Dewey in the library holding a book and talking on the phone]]
/ Dewey: Okay, I found the book you were looking for. No, the catalog is still down. / Dewey: Another librarian knew where it was. She knows where all the books are. / Dewey: Yes, that is the sort of librarian your tax dollars should be paying for. Unless you need computer help.
/ Colleen [standing in the background offering advice to a patron on a computer]: When a stranger send you an email attachment, have the courtesy to *open* it! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20040504 |
| Wednesday, May 05, 2004 | [[Colleen in the library]]
/ Colleen [talking to someone outside of the frame]: "Bellwether"? Author: Connie Willis. Fiction. Last aisle on your right. / Colleen [[talking to a blond patron]]: "ASP.Net In a Nutshell"? 005.276 -- But it's checked out. / [[Tamara, Dewey and Mel looking on]]
/ Tamara: How does Colleen do that? She hasn't been wrong yet!
/ Dewey: She was bitten by a radioactive card catalog.
/ Mel: That's just a rumor.
/ Colleen [[speaking from outside of the frame]]: Trick question! There were only two editions! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20040505 |
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