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| Friday, May 17, 2002 | [[Dewey is talking to a dark-haired woman with a red nose.]]
/ Dewey: You don't look well. Maybe you should see a doctor.
/ Woman [[angry]]: Charlatans! They just want to suppress my symptoms! / Woman [[sneezing into her bare hands]]: < http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020517 |
| Saturday, May 18, 2002 | [[A library patron, holding a pile of books, looks disdainfully at a crumpled ball of paper by his feet.]] / [[Dewey holds his hands to his cheeks in a gesture of mock alarm.]]
/ Dewey: A piece of trash? Heavens! / [[Dewey rigidly bends down and reaches for the offending scrap of refuse.]] / [[Dewey, stands upright and throws the trash into a nearby wastebin.]] / Library patron: I suppose I could have done that myself.
/ Dewey: We'll never know. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020518 |
| Sunday, May 19, 2002 | [[Dewey and a teenager are standing in front of a sign that reads, "Eating and drinking prohibited". The teen is holding a can of soda.]]
/ Dewey [[pointing to the sign]]: You can't do that in here.
/ Teen: Oh yeah? / [[The teen chugs his soda.]] < http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020519 |
| Monday, May 20, 2002 | "Do you have diet books for cats?" / Dewey: No ma'am -- cats can't read. / Dewey: Is that a cat or a suitcase? / Dewey: I'm sorry, no pets in the library. Shall I call you a forklift? / [[Mel is looking over Dewey's training worksheet. Mel and Dewey both have their backs to the door while a woman is entering. The woman is carrying a cat that is bigger than her torso.]]
/ Mel: I wish you'd take my training questions more seriously!
/ Dewey: I wish you'd ask me more realistic questions! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020520 |
| Tuesday, May 21, 2002 | Merv: I need another library card.
/ Dewey: That would be what, your fifth this week? / [[Dewey hands Merv a card.]]
/ Merv: I wasn't counting.
/ Dewey: Let me guess: ninja throwing stars again? / [[Merv has put the card under the feet of a superhero action figure.]]
/ Merv: No dude! Surfboards for action figures! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020521 |
| Wednesday, May 22, 2002 | [[Tamara sees Merv playing with some toys]]
/ Tamara: It's so great to see a boy playing with dolls! / Merv: These aren't DOLLS these are ACTION FIGURES!
/ Tamara: Do they have more than one outfit? / Merv: [[pausing]] Uh..yes.
/ Tamara: [[walking away]] They're dolls. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020522 |
| Thursday, May 23, 2002 | Merv [[leaning forward in front of Dewey, hands off-panel]]: They aren't *dolls!*
/ Tamara [[Leaning into the panel, finger held out]]: Don't be ashamed! I think it's *wonderful!* / Dewey [[holding Merv's shoulder]]: Merv, if Tamara says action figures are dolls, *don't argue!*
/ Merv: Why not? / Dewey [[looking at Merv]]: She's the *Children's Librarian* -- She has a whole budget just *for buying dolls!*
/ [[Merv looks back, silent]] / Dewey: So what do we say to Tamara?
/ Merv [[holding up a winged action figure]]: Want to play tea party with Spawn? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020523 |
| Friday, May 24, 2002 | [[Two action figures are having a tea party]]
/ Ultra Man: Ultra tea?
/ Star girl: Is that soy cream organic? / Merman: Enjoy your final meal my enemies!
/ Ultra Man: It's DEMAN! / Ultra Man: [[to star girl]]: I'll save you!
/ Star girl: I don't need you to solve my problems!
/ Deman: Say, is that ultra tea? / [[Pull back to Merv and Tamara. Merv is holding Ultra Man and Deman. Tamara is holding Star Girl.]]
/ Merv: Don't tell anyone I had fun doing this, okay?
/ Tamara: My lips are sealed. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020524 |
| Saturday, May 25, 2002 | [[Tamara is talking to Dewey, who is sitting at the computer.]]
/ Tamara: I had fun playing tea party with Merv!
/ Dewey: That's nice. / Tamara [[leaning in and whispering]]: I guess I'll buy those action figures you two were CONSPIRING about. / Dewey [[surprised]]: You knew? But then why... ?
/ Tamara: Action figures: $80. A teenage boy playing tea party: PRICELESS. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020525 |
| Sunday, May 26, 2002 | Son [[holding out a book]]: I want more books like this.
/ Mother: He wants more books like this.
/ Dewey: They aren't shelved yet. / Mother [[off-panel]]: Why not?
/ Son [[also off-panel]]: She wants to know why not.
/ Dewey [[picking up the intercom receiver]]: Code 3 at the info desk. / [[Mel and Colleen march to the Information Desk.]] / [[Dewey, Colleen and Mel are now lined up behind the Information Desk, facing the mother and son. Their arms are crossed.]]
/ Dewey: Because they're new.
/ Colleen: New books need processing.
/ Mel: There's a delay before shelving new books. / Mother [[peeved, looking at son]]: Get your father. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020526 |
| Monday, May 27, 2002 | Teen: I'm getting a tatto in one hour and I still don't have a design!
/ Dewey [[typing on computer]]: Give me two minutes. / [[Dewey and teen are looking at the computer monitor together.]]
/ Dewey: Okay, how about this!
/ Teen: Cool! What is it? / Dewey: Um... does that matter?
/ Teen: Not really.
/ Merv [[who has appeared and is now looking at the computer monitor]]: Why are you looking at a map of Nigeria? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020527 |
| Tuesday, May 28, 2002 | [[Merv is writing a letter at one of the library tables. Dewey comes by with a stack of books.]]
/ Merv: Check it out! I'm taking a lesson from SPIDER-MAN! / Merv [[holding up letter]]: He was bit by a spider and got a spider's powers! So I'm writing to "The Rock" because I want to be tough like him. / Dewey [[reading the letter aloud]]: "Dear Rock, Bite me. Sincerely, Merv." / Merv [[taking the letter back]]: What do you think? Too short?
/ Dewey: Maybe a little. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020528 |
| Wednesday, May 29, 2002 | Woman: I'm looking for romance. / Colleen: You want my advice, hon? Rented movies and fudge. / Woman: I meant a book.
/ Colleen [[pointing]]: Oh. They're over there. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020529 |
| Thursday, May 30, 2002 | Fred: Do you need my library card?
/ Dewey: No, your credit card. I need new speakers. / Fred [[holding out credit card]]: Oh, okay.
/ Dewey: No, I was joking. You should never give this card to ANYONE. / Fred: Not even when I'm BUYING something?
/ Dewey [[holding up his hands]]: Okay, so there's an exception to every rule. / [[Merv sticks his head into Dewey's cube.]]
/ Merv: Does that mean I can have my computer privileges restored?
/ Dewey: Not until you get those Fritos out of the disk drive. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020530 |
| Friday, May 31, 2002 | Matt: I hear you got the new "Star Wars" novelization in Braille!
/ Dewey [[looking at the computer]]: Yeah, but one of your friends already got it. / Matt [[indignant]]: "FRIENDS"? What, do you think all blind people know each other? / Girl [[holding the book]]: Hey Matt, I checked out this book for you! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020531 |
| Saturday, June 01, 2002 | Patron: That guy took the computer I was using.
/ Dewey: Why did you let him? / Patron: I was in the restroom.
/ Dewey: So the seat was empty? / Patron: Yes, but I left my drink there.
/ Dewey: I'm sorry, no drinks at the computers. I 'll have to ask you to leave. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020601 |
| Sunday, June 02, 2002 | Dewey: You can't check this out -- it's a reference book.
/ Man: You're about to close. I'll bring it back first thing tomorrow. / Dewey: Well... okay, but be REALLY careful with it! / Merv: I want to borrow something overnight too!
/ Dewey: That depends, what is it? / [[Dewey is standing in front of the exit, blocking Merv who is carrying a computer, monitor and keyboard.]]
/ Dewey: Nice try. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020602 |
| Monday, June 03, 2002 | [[A dark-haired man approaches Dewey at the information desk. A large canister, full of pens and clearly labeled "PENS", is on the desk.]]
/ Man: Got any pens? / [[Dewey stares at the giant can o' pens.]] / [[Dewey looks back at the man. The man has turned away and is looking at the library in general.]
/ Dewey: You're joking, right?
/ Man: Got any books? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020603 |
| Tuesday, June 04, 2002 | Man: What's a good place to take a girl on a first date?
/ Dewey: This doesn't sound like a library question. / Man: I'm not asking a LIBRARIAN, I'm asking a MAN!
/ Dewey: Then I'd recommend the fiction section... / Man [[annoyed]]: That sounds like a librarian talking.
/ Dewey [[pointing]]: ... Row two, C-F. It's narrow, poorly lighted, and usually pretty empty. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020604 |
| Wednesday, June 05, 2002 | Dewey: Would you prefer the large print edition?
/ Little Old Man [[annoyed]]: Why, do I look OLD? / Dewey: Yes.
/ Man [[angry]]: Just give me the book I asked for! / [[The man is sitting in the park reading his book with a magnifying glass.]] / Man: < http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020605 |
| Thursday, June 06, 2002 | [[The Little Old Man is handing a half-burnt book to Dewey. The man is covered with soot and still smoking. All that is left of his tie is a charred stump.]]
/ Little Old Man: Sorry about the book.
/ Dewey: What happened to you? / Man [[pointing]]: Just get me the danged large print edition!
/ Dewey: Yes sir! / Mel [[holding the burnt book]]: Not ANOTHER magnifying glass incident!
/ Dewey: When they talk about book burnings they never mention this! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020606 |
| Friday, June 07, 2002 | [[Merv is handing Dewey an old-timey picture of Melvil Dewey.]]
/ Dewey: What's this, Merv?
/ Merv: It's some old librarian named "Dewey." Get it? "DEWEY!" Hyuk hyuk! / [[Dewey hands Merv another picture.]]
/ Merv: Who's this? / Dewey: Merv Griffin. / [[Merv walks away, disgruntled.]] http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020607 |
| Saturday, June 08, 2002 | [[A scruffy-looking backpacker approaches Dewey at the Information Desk.]]
/ Backpacker: I need a cookbook. / [[The head and paws of a small animal emerge from the top of the backpacker's pack.]] / [[The small animal is free of the pack - it's a squirrel!]] / [[The squirrel leaps off the pack and into the wilds of the library.]] / Dewey: Still need that cookbook? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020608 |
| Sunday, June 09, 2002 | [[Mel and Colleen talk in the forground. In the background Dewey chased a squirrel.]]
/ Mel: What's *that*?
/ Colleen: Looks like a pile of peanuts. / [[The squirrel jumps up, Dewey still in pursuit.]]
/ Mel: Don't people understand that there's *no food allowed*?!? / [[Dewey falls on his face as the squirrel lands on the door frame]]
/ Mel: I guess we need to pay more attention to what goes on.
/ Colleen: I guess so. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020609 |
| Squirrel | Mel: There's a squirrel in the library?
/ Dewey [[brushing himself off]: Fast sucker, too! / Mel: If only we could afford an exterminator...
/ Dewey: No price is too high for removing that miserable rodent! / Mel: So you'd forego that new "Envideo X-Force Super Gamer" graphics card?
/ Dewey: "Live and let live", that's my motto. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020610 |
| Tuesday, June 11, 2002 | [[Mel and Dewey are at the Information Desk in the background. Dewey is working at the computer. Mel watches as Merv walks to the right in the foreground carrying a pile of books.]] / [[Mel watches as Merv walks to the left, pile-of-books-less.]] / [[Mel watches as Merv walks to the right, carrying another pile of books.]]
/ Mel [[to Dewey]]: What on earth is Merv studying? / [[Merv takes his pile of books to his friend, who is standing within a waist-high fortress of books.]]
/ Dewey [[off-screen]]: Siege warfare, I think.
/ Merv [[holding books]]: These should shore up the south wall.
/ Merv's friend: If only "Books in Print" hadn't gone online we could've made a tower! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020611 |
| Wednesday, June 12, 2002 | [[Fort Mallville stands proud, full of books stacked spine out. Girl bends to read spines]]
/ Girl: Mommy! Here's the book I wanted!
/ Mom: Then get it! We're in a hurry! / [[Girl pulling out book from center of fort]] / [[elsewhere in the library...]]
/ Mel: What was that sound?
/ Dewey: Experience http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020612 |
| Thursday, June 13, 2002 | [[Tamara is glaring at a huge pile of books. The "Fort Mallville" banner droops forlornly across the pile.]]
/ Merv's friend [[from somewhere under the pile]]: "Trust me," you said, "My father's an architect."
/ Tamara: I hope you know you're reshelving those. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020613 |
| Friday, June 14, 2002 | [[Dewey is facing the reader straight on.]]
/ Dewey: There are two kinds of people. / Dewey [[holding up one book]]: The kind that return books on time, / Dewey [[holding up another book]]: and the kind that return them late. / [[A dark-haired young man is talking to Dewey.]]
/ Young man [[gesturing to himself]]: What about me? I didn't return mine at ALL!
/ Dewey: There are two kinds of people we let live... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020614 |
| Saturday, June 15, 2002 | [[A young man and a teenage girl are recreating the light saber training scene from Star Wars - the one aboard the Millennium Falcon.]]
/ Young man [[wearing a helmet that covers his eyes and quoting Luke Skywalker while brandishing a long stick as if it were a light saber]]: "I can't see a thing in this helmet!"
/ Teenage girl [[wearing a cloak with the hood up and quoting Obi-Wan Kenobi]]: "Your eyes can deceive you -- don't trust them!"
/ Tamara [[sternly]]: CAREFUL! You could put an EYE out! / [[The young man removes his helmet tearfully. It turns out to be Matt, the blind patron from earlier strips.]]
/ Matt [[a single tear running down his cheek from behind his dark glasses]]: That's the last thing my mother said... before... before...
/ Tamara [[mortified]]: Matt! I'm sorry! I didn't know! / [[Tamara's gone. The teenage girl has lowered the hood on her cloak.]]
/ Teenage girl: Weren't you BORN blind?
/ Matt [[dry-eyed, putting helmet back on]]: ...before she grounded me last month. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020615 |
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