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Wednesday, April 26, 2006 [[Tamara is holding a glass of water and a microscope.]] / Dewey: Nice microscope. / Tamara: I want you to see what's in the water you drink. / [[Dewey puts his eye to the microscope.]] / Dewey: Oh my god! / Tamara: See? / [[Merv takes a turn at the microscope.]] / Dewey: Check out the one with tentacles! / Merv: I'd be honored to have that in my intestine.
http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20060426
Thursday, April 27, 2006 [[Coffee Vendor offers two choices of bottles]] / Coffee Vendor: What kind of water do you want in your coffee? / Dewey: What happened to good old tap water? / [[Coffee Vendor shows a corroded pipe length]] / Coffee Vendor: It dissolved the good old tap. / [[Back at the Library]] / Tamara: And you're STILL drinking it? / Dewey: Industrial solvents make for a full-bodied coffee.
http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20060427
Friday, April 28, 2006 [[Black bar across whole strip]]: "How do you like your water?" / Fred [[in white button down shirt and sleeveless pullover sweater]]: French. / Angry Woman [[in low cut blouse with hair handing over right eye]]: Trendy. / Tamara: Clean. / Dewey: Free.
http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20060428
Saturday, April 29, 2006 [[Merv is looking at DVDs. Dewey is standing behind him.]] / Merv: Superman I, III, IV... Hey, where's Superman II? / [[Dewey is imagining a masked Merv standing on the circulation desk, yelling at Mel, Colleen and Tamara, who are groveling before him.]] / Merv: KNEEL BEFORE ZOD! / Dewey: Our last copy disappeared. / Merv: Darn.
http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20060429
Sunday, April 30, 2006 The Unshelved Book Club presents "Stoner and Spaz" by Ron Koertge / [[A teenage girl, dressed crazily, a cigarette hanging out of her mouth, is talking to a boy who is shorter and thinner than her but dressed more reasonably.]] / Dewey: Colleen Minou is smart but hangs out with the wrong crowd. / Her boyfriend is a drug dealer. / Her high school experience is clubs, drugs and sex. / Ben Bancroft has cerebral palsy. / His grandmother doesn't just protect him, she dresses him. / Movies are his escape, especially monster movies. / He's practically invisible. / When Colleen teases him one day at the Rialto, it starts a relationship his grandmother certainly wouldn't approve of. / [[in the library]] / Patron: [[holding book]] Sounds like an after-school special. / Dewey: Less Hallmark Channel, more HBO.
http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20060430
 
How was your day at the library? Monday, May 01, 2006 [[Dewey and Cathy are having dinner.]] / Cathy: How was your day at the library? / Dewey: I prevented a pregnancy. / Cathy: You provided materials to help someone make an informed decision? / Dewey: No. / Cathy: Directed them to appropriate community resources? / Dewey: No. / Cathy: I don't really want to know what happened, do I? / Dewey: No.
http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20060501
Tuesday, May 02, 2006 [[Dewey and Cathy are sitting at a dining table, having a drink]] / Dewey [[holding a drinking glass]]: I'm thinking of going bungie jumping. For the adrenaline rush. / Cathy: When we're married I'll put a stop to that sort of thing. / [[Dewey stands up shakily, looking stricken, while Cathy picks up her wine glass]] / [[Dewey, having collapsed in his chair, is slumped over the table with his face resting on his arm]] / Cathy [[still holding her glass as it rests on the table]]: How's that for an adrenal rush?
http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20060502
Wednesday, May 03, 2006 [[Dewey is sitting in a chair ad Colleen walks past behind him]] / Dewey: This is a great book! / [[Colleen looks over his shoulder]] / Colleen: You're reading that? / Dewey: Well, I'm skimming it. / [[Colleen walks away, Dewey glares after her]] / Colleen: Or, as we say, "not reading".
http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20060503
Thursday, May 04, 2006 [[A dog with a "service dog" sign is on the floor eating a book. Dewey and a woman in a wheelchair watch the dog.]] / Dewey: What kind of service is THAT? / Woman in wheelchair: She's saving me from bad literature.
http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20060504
Friday, May 05, 2006 [[Buddy carries a large stack of chairs in the background. A woman patron is talking to Dewey.]] / Woman: We need more chairs in the meeting room. / Dewey: Buddy's bringing them now. / Woman: That's still not enough. / Dewey: Let me see. / [[Fred is sitting on top of a stack of 7 chairs.]] / Fred: The view is great up here! / Woman: Are all the chairs that tall? / Dewey: Only when misused together.
http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20060505
 
Saturday, May 06, 2006 [[For the first two panels, Dewey is standing at the desk while in front of him a skateboarder pulls some spectacular stunts. Colleen comes in, and in the third panel she speaks.]] / Colleen: Why aren't you stopping him? / Dewey: It's easier to pretend I'm sponsoring a demonstration.
http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20060506
Sunday, May 07, 2006 -- The Unshelved Book Club presents The Wreckers by Iain Lawrence The Unshelved Book Club presents "The Wreckers" by Iain Lawrence / [[Dewey's voice over an image of the wreck of a ship called the Isle of Skye run aground on a rocky beach. A piratical-looking figure is using his foot to hold someone underwater. Another has opened a crate of bottles. A third is sneaking off.]] / Dewey: The Isle of Skye was in trouble. A sudden storm forced them to seek safe harbor. But the beacon on the cliffs lead them to ruin on the rocks. 14-year-old John Spencer has to escape the men who want the ship's cargo--and no witnesses to their crime! / [[In the library, Mel and Dewey are talking to a young patron]] / Mel: Like when the sirens Pisinoe, Aglaope, and Thelxiepia tried to lure Odysseus to his death! / [[Dewey looks at Mel in dismay]] / Mel: Now the Argonauts-- / Dewey [[pressing the book into the patron's hands]]: Quick, take this book before she starts reciting The Iliad.
http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20060507
Monday, May 08, 2006 [[Dewey is at the information desk with an angry patron.]] / Angry patron: There are teenagers cussing outside the library! / Dewey: On the steps or the sidewalk? / Angry patron: Sidewalk. / Dewey: Bike rack side or street side? / Angry patron: Street. / Dewey: To the left or right of the fire hydrant? / Angry patron: Left. / Dewey: Sorry, they're outside my jurisdiction. / Angry patron: You don't have to look so happy about it!
http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20060508
Tuesday, May 09, 2006 [[In the library]] / Angry lady: I insist you do something about those teenagers outside! / [[Dewey is speaking to the teenagers through the open door.]] / Dewey: Who wants to play "super monkey ball?" / [[Dewey is sitting with the teenagers playing handheld video games inside the library.]] Angry Lady: What are you up to? / Dewey: Only level three, but give me a few minutes.
http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20060509
Wednesday, May 10, 2006 [[Angry Lady is pointing at three teenage boys. Dewey is standing next to her.]] / Angry Lady: Punish them! / Dewey: They aren't doing anything wrong. / Angre Lady: They're TEENAGERS! / Dewey: That was decriminalized in '87.
http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20060510
 
Thursday, May 11, 2006 [[There is a small group of patrons around the Information Desk. Dewey is at the computer.]] / Teenage male patron: Hey lady, nice haircut! / Angry lady: Did you hear that? He mocked me! / other patron: I think you'll find he was complimenting you. / Angry lady: But he didn't *mean* it! / Dewey: If insincerity is wrong, I don't want to be right.
http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20060511
Friday, May 12, 2006 [[Mel and Dewey are standing at the circulation desk. Dewey is typing on a computer.]] / Mel: So a woman was complaining to you about some teenagers. / Dewey: Yup. / Mel: But she was causing more trouble than the teenagers so you kicked HER out. / Dewey: Yup. / Mel: And now you're just wallowing in the irony. / Dewey: I was, but it never lasts.
http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20060512
Saturday, May 13, 2006 [[Merv is at a computer while Dewey stands nearby.]] / Merv: I want to be on the front page of Digg. / Dewey: Maybe you could do something notable or worthwhile. / Merv: I know! I'll draw a web comic about Digg. Everyone will think it's hilarious and they'll all Digg it! / Dewey: That would never work. / Merv: You're right. I guess I'll just make up another iPod rumor. / <>
http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20060513
Sunday, May 14, 2006 The Unshelved Book Club presents "How to Survive a Robot Uprising: Tips on Defending Yourself Against the Coming Rebellion" by Daniel H. Wilson / [[Dewey & Merv are being chased by a giant robot]] / Dewey:I've got the perfect book for this situation! / It's full of practical advice on just such a topic. / Dewey: Like how to spot a robot mimicking a person. Does it smell like a new soccer ball? / Merv: Doesn't apply. / Dewey: The robot weapon of choice: lasers. So keep welder's goggles handy. / Merv: Maybe we can flee past the hardware store. / Dewey: As for karate: Don't bother unless you can punch through metal. / Merv: Never crossed my mind. / Dewey: Let's run for a body of water. The robot's heavy, it should sink. / Merv: This is Mallville. All we've got are parking lots. / Colleen: This never would have happened in my day!
http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20060514
Monday, May 15, 2006 [[Mel's silhouette, visible through the "Staff" door]] / Mel: The library system is implementing a new staff-sharing program! We're combining disciplines! Finding hidden strengths! Bringing together branches! / [[From inside the room]] / Tamara: Why? / Mel: Well, it will increase flexibility and... and... / Dewey: They didn't tell you why, did they? / Mel: I'm sure I can find a way to justify this.
http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20060515
 
Tuesday, May 16, 2006 [[at a library staff meeting]] / Colleen: We're going to share staff among library branches? / Tamara: I'm already pulling double story-time shifts! / Dewey: I don't know why everyone's so upset. Think of it as a county-wide coffee tasting. / [[Mel hands Dewey a piece of paper]] / Mel: I appreciate your support. have fun tomorrow. / [[Dewey reads the paper]] / Dewey: Prison library? 6:00 A.M.? / Mel: You don't want to miss delousing.
http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20060516
Wednesday, May 17, 2006 [[Dewey stands before a building with a sign saying "Mallville Detention Center and Amusement Park"]] / Dewey: My guidance counselor said I'd end up here.
http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20060517
Thursday, May 18, 2006 [[In the prison library]] / Dewey: You don't look like a prison librarian. / Prison librarian: Welcome to my little oasis of learning. / [[The prison librarian addresses an inmate held by guards]] / Dewey: How can I be of ... / Prison librarian: That one's books are overdue. Throw him in the hole.
http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20060518
Friday, May 19, 2006 [[Book repair at the prison library]] / Dewey: That's a lot of books to repair. / Prison librarian: The prisoners are hard on the collection. / [[Dewey holds a burnt book]] / Dewey: Is this fire damage? / Prison librarian: He insisted on taking it to the chair. / Dewey: I'll toss it out. / Prison librarian: With my budget? See what you can do.
http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20060519
Saturday, May 20, 2006 [[At the front desk]] / Tamara: How was the prison library? / Merv; Did you get shivved? / Dewey: Their library is a privilege, not a right. No one takes it for granted. / [[A patron approaches the desk]] / Dewey: Plus, if someone misbehaves, you can put them in leg irons. / Patron: I couldn't find the bathroom, so I made one.
http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20060520
 
Sunday, May 21, 2006 The Unshelved Book Club presents Gregor the Overlander by Suzanne Collins / [[A man is clinging to a rock wall while holding a small child. A woman with a sword is riding a giant bat and large rats and cockroaches are in the foreground.]] / Tamara: Gregor and his sister fall through a grating in their New York City laundry room into an underground world. Humans called "Underlanders" live there along with giant sentient cockroaches, bats, rats, and spiders. Gregor's missing father is a prisoner of the rats. The Underlanders believe Gregor is the warrior told of in an ancient prophecy and aid him in his quest to free his father. / [[Tamara speaking to a young patron.]] / Patron: Cockroaches are their friends? / Tamara: Of course. Every creature on Earth deserves our love and respect. / Patron: But they're fighting rats. / Tamara: Filthy creatures! I wish they'd all die die die! / [[Tamara looks startled by her own outburst as Dewey walks in.]] / [[The patron walks away.]] / Tamara: um, humanely and peacefully? / Dewey: Nice try, Gandhi.
http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20060521
Monday, May 22, 2006 Tamara [[reading the newspaper]]: Did you hear? The prince is coming to Mallville. / Colleen [[reading over her shoulder]]: I hope I get invited to the ball. / Dewey: You keep dreaming Cinderella. / Ned: Is this why we fought a war of independence -- so we could worship another country's royalty? / Merv [[facing away, making a picture frame with his fingers]]: I envision a complete line of commemorative merchandise.
http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20060522
Tuesday, May 23, 2006 G-man [[speaking as if into a transmitter]]: The reference section is defenseless. Repeat, defenseless. / G-man: The periodicals rack is utterly compromised. / G-man [[to Dewey]]: Libraries are security nightmares. / Dewey: So my government keeps telling me.
http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20060523
Wednesday, May 24, 2006 [[A man in a suit with an earpiece, a security agent]] / Agent [[to Tamara and Colleen]]: In ten minutes the prince is going to arrive. / Tamara: Here? / Colleen: In our library? / Agent: I need you to prepare. / [[Tamara and Colleen dash off in opposite directions]] / Tamara: I'm going to fix my hair. / Colleen: I'm going to reshelve my section. / Agent [[to Dewey, who is shelving books]]: Okay, I need you to prepare. / Dewey: Don't worry. I'm wearing clean underwear.
http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20060524
Thursday, May 25, 2006 [[Mel talking with The Prince's security agent]] / Mel: You need WHAT?!? / Agent: This building cleared of all nonessential personnel. / Mel: This is a public library. And a free country. / Agent: I will give cash to everyone who leaves the library immediately. / [[A line has formed to exit the library; Mel, Dewey and Merv are at the end of the line. Mel faces away from the agent and speaks to Dewey.]] / Mel: Not you. / Dewey: "Free Country" my foot. / Merv: I've been through twice.
http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20060525
 

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