You're browsing the archives of Unshelved.
You can search these comics too.

show: [ full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]

Friday, December 22, 2006 Merv [[to Dewey]]: My English teacher told me about Tamara's B-movie poetry. / Merv: I've decided to write violent video game poetry. / Merv: What rhymes with "shattered trachea"? / Tamara: Am I missing a reading?
http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20061222
Saturday, December 23, 2006 [[Ned sits in a stuffed armchair reading to a group of childen]] / Ned: "Then one foggy Christmas Eve Santa came to say, 'Rudolph, with your nose so bright, won't you guide my sleigh tonight?'" / [[Close-up of frowning children]] / Ned: "Then all the fickle reindeer bowed to the approbation of the alpha male and accepted Rudolph into the in-group." / [[Mel, arms folded, stands beside Tamara, who sits in a chair with her head in her hands, looking dismayed]] / Mel: Nice to see Ned getting into the holiday spirit. / Tamara: This seemed like a good idea at the time.
http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20061223
Sunday, December 24, 2006 The Unshelved Book Club presents "The Foreshadowing" by Marcus Sedgwick / Dewey: 17-year-old Sasha's oldest brother, Edward, has gone to France to do his duty on the frontlines. / Their brother Tom tried to attend medical school, but society and their father brand him a coward - he finally gives in and joins the infantry. / She volunteers as a nurse at her father's hospital, but her gift makes that difficult: / All her life she's been able to foresee the deaths of others. / Contact with wounded soldiers makes her visions difficult to ignore. / And then she foresees Tom's death and sets off to stop it. / Girl: She sees dead people? What is this, The Sixth Sense meets A Farewell to Arms? / Dewey: Not at all. It's a detailed portrait of the British home front and the French battlefields during World War I. / Girl: Dang / Dewey: Shyamalan might direct the movie. / Girl: Wow! / Mel: Really? / Dewey: No. / Mel: Will you say anything to put a book in someone's hands? / Dewey: Yes.
http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20061224
Monday, December 25, 2006 [[Mel holds a box labeled "Emergency Only" as Colleen and Dewey peer in.]] / Mel: These are our new emergency supplies. / Colleen: Anything good? / Dewey: Beef jerky. Some water. / [[Colleen and Dewey continue to go through the box, as Mel stands with hands on hips and Tamara peeks around a corner.]] / Mel: Need I stress the importance of conserving our rations? / Tamara: Dibs on the water! / Colleen [[to Dewey]]: Let's split the beef. / [[Colleen begins to eat the jerky.]] / Tamara: What am I supposed to eat? / Dewey: I saw a sugar packet somewhere. / Mel: I'll be in my office.
http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20061225
Tuesday, December 26, 2006 Mel [[to the staff]]: You never take my emergency preparedness seriously! / Dewey: It's not personal. / Tamara: I'm just optimistic / Dewey: Yeah, me too. I'm optimistic. / Tamara [[pointing at Dewey accusingly]]: About what, the Hellblazer movie?!? / Colleen [[raising her hand]]: With me it actually is personal. / Mel [[from outside the panel]]: You can debate it at this weekend's mandatory fire training. / Dewey: Hello? Three-day J.L.A. marathon? / Colleen: I told you we should have humored her.
http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20061226
 
Wednesday, December 27, 2006 [[The staff is at a training session looking bored.]] / Mel: Pay attention. What you learn today could save lives. / Mel: Buddy, will you read from the training manual? / [[Buddy is reading out loud, Mel is dropping a lit match into a pan.]] / Buddy: "Step one: Light the pan of gasoline on fire. / [[Buddy continues to read as a large explosion of flames shoots up.]] / Buddy: "Do not attempt this indoors."
http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20061227
Thursday, December 28, 2006 [[The library staff stand staring at a wall of flames. Mel is holding the fire extinguisher and reading from a sheet of paper.]] / Bucky: Pull the pin! / Tamara: Point and shoot! / Colleen: Duck and cover! / Mel: Don't rush me. It's important to read the instructions. / Dewey: That will look great on your gravestone.
http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20061228
Friday, December 29, 2006 [[The staff are sitting on a hill outside. They are dirty and tired-looking. Mel and Colleen are lying down. There is a fire truck in the background, and there are firefighters holding a dripping hose. Doreen is reading a book.]] / Mel: And what did you learn from today's training? / Tamara: Don't play with fire. / Dewey: Don't attend trainings. / Buddy: Use building materials that contain lots of asbestos! / Colleen [[lying down with her eyes closed]]: Nothing. As usual.
http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20061229
Saturday, December 30, 2006 Fred [[to Dewey]]: But that book can't be overdue. I left here without checking it out!
http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20061230
Sunday, December 31, 2006 "What is your New Year's resolution?" / Dewey: Switch to Mac. / Tamara: Bicycle to work. / Mel: Be spontaneous. Tuesdays and Thursdays from 2:15 to 2:40. / Merv: Advance my plans for world domination. / Ned: Try waxing. / Buddy: Less talk, more rock! / Colleen: Go on a date. / Bill Barnes: Draw "Unshelved" on time. / Gene Ambaum: More bathroom humor.
http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20061231
 
Monday, January 01, 2007 [[A youngish woman patron, with curly hair, walks up to the service desk and hands Dewey a piece of paper.]] / Patron: We're here for the free book. / Dewey: Woo, looks like someone's been doing a lot of reading. / Dewey: Is your daughter here? Or do you want to pick out the book for her? / Patron: She's right here. / [[The view is pulled back and we can see a dog with its tongue hanging out sitting in front of the service desk. The woman patron bends over to look into its eyes as Dewey peers over the edge of the service desk and points down at the dog.]] / Dewey: You know that's a dog, right? / Patron: Of course! / Dewey: In this building you never know.
http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20070101
Tuesday, January 02, 2007 Dewey: I'm afraid pets don't qualify for reading prizes. / Woman: Show me where it says that in the rules! / Dewey: Well I can't, but / Woman: Everyone says I should read to my child! / Woman: If she were human you'd let her enter. / Dewey: Exactly my point.
http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20070102
Wednesday, January 03, 2007 Patron [[pointing at Dewey]]: This is discrimination against single people! / Dewey: Actually it's discrimination against pets. Which is still legal. / [[Pull out to see Patron has a dog on a leash]] / Patron: My dog loves books! / Dewey: How do you know? / Patron [[proudly, holding tattered book]]: Look what she did to Maurice Sendak! / Dewey [[holds bill]]: Look what we're charging you for that!
http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20070103
Thursday, January 04, 2007 [[Mel speaking with patron with a dog]] / Mel: I'm sorry, but your dog isn't allowed in the building. / Patron [[pointing to dog]]: But she- - / Mel: It's the rule. You have to leave. / Patron: - - Loves the library! / [[Dewey comes and stands behind patron]] / Mel [[points over her shoulder]]: That's what the last guy said. We're still trying to get the carpet cleaned.
http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20070104
Friday, January 05, 2007 Mel: You look surprised. / Dewey: I can't believe you stood up to that dog lover! / Mel: Why? / Dewey: Because she had a point. Her taxes pay for kids reading prizes. Except she's decided not to have kids, so she's not allowed to benefit. But I wasn't going to cave. That's a manager's job. / [[Mel runs to patron, while another patron approaches Dewey]] / Mel: Ma'am! Wait! The library wants to make you happy! / Library patron: Will you forgive my fines? / Dewey: I doubt it.
http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20070105
 
Saturday, January 06, 2007 Patron: This book you recommended stinks! / Dewey: Really? I enjoyed it. / Patron: No, it literally stinks. / [[Dewey sniffs the books, closes his eyes, and makes a "Yuk!" face.]] / [[Patron approaches Tamara, offering the stinky book.]] / Patron: You want a whiff? / Tamara: [[Without turning around]] Not unless that's a flower you're holding.
http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20070106
Sunday, January 07, 2007 The Unshelved Book Club presents "The Outlaw Varjak Paw" by S.F. Said / Dewey: Varjak knows the 7 Skills of the Way, a kind of kitty jung fu taught to him in dreamtime by his ancient ancestor. / Together with his friends, including a gigantic dog, they must stand up to Sally Bones and her gang and rescue a kidnapped kitten in her territory. / The problem: Sally Bones knows The Way, too, and can see into Varjak's mind. / Woman wearing lots of cat gear: How did you know I'd be interested in a book about cats? / Dewey: One of the Seven Skills of the Librarian.
http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20070107
Monday, January 08, 2007 [[Mel and Collen stand behid a desk watching several teen customers wearing headphones.]] / Mel: I just don't understand it. / Colleen: Me neither. Not since the turntable. / Mel: Why do young people choose to isolate themselves? / Colleen: How do they fit all that music into the little *THINGS*? / Mel: Maybe it's a cry for help. / Colleen: Maybe music used to be bigger.
http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20070108
Tuesday, January 09, 2007 [[Buddy is on a ladder reaching for a book as a patron listening to an iPod walks past.]] / [[Buddy loses his balance on the ladder and falls. The patron continues walking.]] / Buddy: That guy had no idea I almost landed on him! / Dewey: And so, thanks to MP3, a major lawsuit was avoided. / Mel: I'm warming up to this new technology.
http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20070109
Wednesday, January 10, 2007 Mel [[with empty speech balloon]]: / Mel [[with empty speech balloon, pointing]]: / Dewey [[pointing at his headphones]]: Noise-cancelling headphones. / Mel [[with empty speech balloon, fists raised]]:
http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20070110
 
Thursday, January 11, 2007 Tamara [[to Mel, watching young couple sharing headphones]]: That is so sweet! / Tamara [[to approaching young couple]]: It's wonderful to see two people so in love! / Young woman: We're just friends. / Young man: I thought you liked me! / Young woman: That was until I had a close encounter with your ear wax.
http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20070111
Friday, January 12, 2007 Dewey: Is that a -- ? / Colleen: Digital music player, yes. / Dewey: Isn't that against everything you stand for? / Colleen [[with earphones]]: Yes. Yes it is. / Dewey: Then why...? / Doreen: How do you like your Christmas present, Momma? / Colleen: I love it, sweetie.
http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20070112
Saturday, January 13, 2007 Tamara: Usually, Dewey won't let us forget his birthday. / Mel: I guess he's grown up. / [[Through window: "Happy birthday to me!" banner, Dewey holding balloons and handing one to crying child.]] / {{Bill's annual birthday strip drawn by Gene Ambaum}}
http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20070113
Sunday, January 14, 2007 The Unshelved Book Club presents "Rats" by Paul Zindel / [[Man sitting in hot tub with rats all around him and one is biting his neck and he is bleeding]] / Dewey: The neighborhood is going to be beautified. / They are sealing the Staten Island Landfill and the smell might even go away. / But there have been strange sounds coming from the dump, especially at night. / Now thousands of rats have come up through toilets and jacuzzi drains, into swimming pools and even a water park. / They're organized. / And they seem very very angry. / [[Back in the library]] / Woman hearing book description: Sounds violent! / Boy hearing book description: I'll take three!
http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20070114
Monday, January 15, 2007 [[Mel moves to stand behind Dewey, who is standing at a computer, typing.]] / Mel: Batten down the hatches! / Dewey: What hatches? / [[Dewey turns to face Mel.]] / Mel: There's a windstorm coming! / Dewey: So we have to talk like pirates? / [[Dewey turns back to the computer. Mel crosses her arms.]] / Mel: Sailor. I'm talking like a sailor. / Dewey: Well I'm not swabbing the deck.
http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20070115
 
Tuesday, January 16, 2007 [[Dewey reaches behind him for the door.]] / Dewey: A windstorm in Mallville? I don't believe it. / [[Dewey opens the door. The door slams open with a bam. A man whooshes by him horizontally.]] / [[Dewey lets the door close, his hair mussed.]] / Dewey: Okay, I believe it. / Man [[off panel]]: Wow! It blew me right to the book I wanted!
http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20070116
Wednesday, January 17, 2007 [[Colleen, Mel, Buddy, Tamara, and Dewey looking at the damage to the library from the windstorm]] / Colleen [[looking at a computer]]: The computers are wrecked! / Mel [[holding files]]: Our files are a jumble! / Buddy: The books are scattered across the library! / Tamara: But on the plus side, our workspaces have never been so uncluttered! / Dewey [[bending over and pointing]]: I didn't know my desk was that color!
http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20070117
Thursday, January 18, 2007 [[Unshaven patron talking to Tamara]] / Man: The wind knocked out my power. / Tamara: I'm sorry. / [[Man holds up fingers to indicate thickness. Tamara's hands are clasped in front of her]] / Man: I'm looking for a thick book. / Tamara: To read by candlelight? / Man: The stores are out of firewood. / Dewey: Let me show you to our classics. / [[Tamara looking distraught]]
http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20070118
Friday, January 19, 2007 [[Dewey and Tamara are kneeling on the floor picking up scattered books.]] / Tamara: The Poseidon Adventure / Dewey: The Towering Inferno. / [[Dewey and Tamara start walking away with piles of books in their arms.]] / Tamara: Titanic / Dewey: Earthquake / [[Dewey and Tamara stop to argue and Mel shows up.]] / Tamara: Twister / Dewey: Twister. I'm Helen Hunt. / Tamara: No, I am. / Dewey: No way I have to be Bill Paxton. / Mel: What's wrong with Bill Paxton?
http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20070119
Saturday, January 20, 2007 [[Dewey and Mel are at the circulation desk]] / Mel: Our computers still aren't working, so we need to take down library card numbers and the barcodes from all the items to be checked out. / Dewey: And when they start working again, who is going to enter all the data I will be painstakingly recording? / Mel: You. / Dewey [[handing books to patron]]: Just bring 'em back in a few weeks.
http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20070120
 

Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40
41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60
61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80
81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100
101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120
121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 >>