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| Monday, May 21, 2007 | [[Dewey faces Colleen]]
/ Dewey: ..and she said, "I think it's in NONFICTION!"
/ Colleen: LOL! / [[Closeup]]
/ Dewey: Look at you, all hip with internet acronyms!
/ Colleen: Acronym? I assumed they meant "lol", the Dutch word for "amusement". / [[Dewey walking behind Colleen]]
/ Dewey: Yes, we online hipsters are always borrowing catchphrases from Dutch, the coolest and trendiest of languages.
/ Colleen: If computers had to make sense they would never have been invented. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20070521 |
| Tuesday, May 22, 2007 | Patron: It's disgusting!
/ Dewey: Be more specific. / Patron: I don't know. Stuff. In the body stuff.
/ Dewey: Maybe we should start over. / Patron: [[pointing]] That lady is looking at a website that skeeves me out!
/ Dewey: Good. Now I can be unhelpful about your specific problem. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20070522 |
| Wednesday, May 23, 2007 | Dewey: I'm afraid that website is disturbing others.
/ Patron: This? It's medical research. / Dewey: The presence of any amount of flesh is offputting to delicate sensibilities.
/ Patron: It's not flesh, it's tissue. / Dewey: Good one. But it's still interfering with others' enjoyment of the library.
/ Patron: Who? I could bring up some great footage of intestinal blockage on YouTube. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20070523 |
| Thursday, May 24, 2007 | [[Dewey, standing, is talking to a customer who is seated at a computer terminal.]]
/ Dewey: Look, I don't want to kick you out.
/ Customer: I'm a medical librarian. My doctors need this information! / Dewey: Then why aren't you at your library?
/ Customer: Our IT department blocked our net access. / Customer: It's not fair. One time gathered around a computer, laughing at sores, and now they won't let us do our jobs.
/ Buddy [[walking by with an armload of books]]: Amen, sister. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20070524 |
| Friday, May 25, 2007 | Patron: She's still looking at that site!
/ Dewey: She's a medical librarian. / Patron [[irate, pointing]]: So you're siding with her!
/ Dewey: She's just doing her job. / Patron [[yelling]]: Well my job is to find disgusting pictures on the web! And to shout at the top of my lungs about them!
/ Dewey: Do you have a business card? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20070525 |
| Saturday, May 26, 2007 | Medical Librarian: I can't believe you're kicking me out - me, a fellow librarian!
/ Dewey: I sympathize, but we have rules. And occasionally, for the sake of form, I need to follow them. / Medical Librarian: You can forget the cadaver for your teen anatomy program.
/ Dewey: If you stay here I'm only letting your broken system limp along on the back of our broken system. / Medical Librarian: You'd better hope you never get sick!
/ Tamara: Too late. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20070526 |
| Sunday, May 27, 2007 | The Unshelved Book Club presents "Monkey Portraits" by Jill Greenberg / [[Photo of a Golden Rhesus Macaque]]
/ Caption: Abu, Golden Rhesus Macaque / [[Photo of Bill Barnes]]
/ Caption: Bill, Cartoonist / [[Photo of Gene Ambaum]]
/ Caption: Gene, Librarian / [[Photo of Celebese Macaque]]
/ Josh, Celebese Macaque / {{Photos by Jill Greenberg}} http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20070527 |
| Monday, May 28, 2007 | Mel [[indicating a book or journal]]: This says libraries are hotbeds of intellectual property violations.
/ Dewey: I know. / Mel: You do?
/ Dewey: Last week a guy ripped every CD in the library onto his MP3 player. / Mel: Why didn't you stop him?
/ Dewey: He gave me a copy. I mean, he had them checked out, what could I do? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20070528 |
| Tuesday, May 29, 2007 | Tamara [[at the photo copier]]: I'm enlarging the puppy in this book for my felt board! Isn't he the *cutest*?
/ Dewey: That's illegal. / Dewey: Did you get permission from the artist? The publisher?
/ Tamara [[holding up the copy]]: I just want to make children happy. / Dewey: They you must first make the law happy.
/ Tamara: Just tell me who to hug. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20070529 |
| Wednesday, May 30, 2007 | [[In the library. Tamara and Dewey stand in front of a poster of a caterpillar and a poster of a spiderweb.]] / Tamara: My Very Hungry Caterpillar picture?
/ Dewey: You should have bought a poster from a catalog.
/ Tamara: My Charlotte's Web display?
/ Dewey: Only if you have permission from Paramount Pictures, Harper Collins, and/or the estate of E. B. White. / Tamara: What if I just draw a picture of a bunny?
/ Dewey: So long as it doesn't look like Bugs Bunny, Bre'er Rabbit, the White Rabbit, the Velveteen Rabbit, or Peter Rabbit.
/ Tamara: What about a Playboy bunny?
/ Dewey: I'd look the other way. But not literally. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20070530 |
| Thursday, May 31, 2007 | [[In the library, Dewey is reading while Mel stares at a blank wall.]]
/ Mel: What happened to Tamara's displays?
/ Dewey: You mean her flagrant piracy?
/ Dewey: I informed her of the law and she took them down. / [[Tamara walks up to Dewey and Mel with a budget request.]]
/ Mel: Who made *you* the policy enforcer?
/ Dewey: I had some free time.
/ Mel: But -- aren't you supposed to be working the desk right now?
/ Tamara: I've worked out how much money I'll need to buy a licensed collection of display items.
/ Tamara: How badly do we need that new roof? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20070531 |
| Friday, June 01, 2007 | [[Buddy is holding a birthday cake; Mel and Tamara are singing]]
/ Mel and Tamara: Happy birthday to--
/ Dewey [[interjecting]]: This popular song is copyrighted by Warner Chappell music. / [[Dewey standing in front of projected film image in a darkened room. There are several people watching the film.]]
/ Dewey: Sorry ladies. No "The Rock" film festival without written permission from the studios. / [[Dewey is pointing at a patron with the Batman logo tattooed on his arm]]
/ Mel [[arms crossed]]: Okay, we get it.
/ Dewey: About that tattoo--
/ Patron: Yeah?
/ Dewey: --nicely rendered. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20070601 |
| Saturday, June 02, 2007 | Tamara: I have a question about your Green Lantern sketch there.
/ Dewey: What? / Tamara: Is it an officially licensed product?
/ Dewey: I got it from an artist at a comic convention. Maybe he had permission, maybe he didn't. I'll never know. / Buddy: I documented the violation!
/ Colleen: And I blogged it!
/ Tamara: The Cease & Desist order just arrived.
/ Mel: There's a lawyer from Time Warner on the phone. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20070602 |
| Sunday, June 03, 2007 | The Unshelved Book Club presents "In the Company of Ogres" by A. Lee Martinez / [[A scruffy-looking guy is in the background, flanked in the foreground by a bikini-wearing warrior princess holding an axe on the left and a seaweed-haired green lady wearing a seashell bra and fish-scale legs on the right. The women are arguing.]]
/ Dewey: Legion employee Never Dead Ned is poorly named.
/ He actually dies quite often.
/ But every time he does, someone brings him back to life.
/ He wishes he knew why.
/ Ned has just been given command of the motley Ogre Company.
/ He liked it better in bookkeeping.
/ There he never had to contend with a blind oracle who can only hear the future, an Amazon and a Siren fighting for his love, and a conspiracy of Ogres intent on a coup
/ (if they can just figure out how to make him stay dead).
/ Meanwhile evil forces are amassing.
/ The Red Woman finally reveals his secret, which makes his life (and deaths) even more complicated.
/ Now Ned must save the universe and the Company must save Ned.
/ It's hard to say which is less likely. / [[Dewey is talking to a customer in the library.]]
/ Customer: I once had a Minotaur and a Chimera fighting for my love! / [[Customer pulls out a two-foot tall manuscript.]]
/ Customer: It's in my third volume of Charmed fan fiction. Wanna see?
/ Dewey: Definitely not. / Customer: You'll regret it when I'm famous!
/ Dewey: That's a chance I'm willing to take. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20070603 |
| Monday, June 04, 2007 | [[Dewey talking on the phone in the library]]
/ Dewey: You want me to visit your class TOMORROW? And you're asking me TODAY? / Dewey: Did you win tickets to the Bahamas again? Or are you just taking the day off? / Dewey [[still on phone]]: Do the substitute teachers refuse to enter your war zone?
/ Mel [[standing next to Dewey]]: I'm glad to see you setting a helpful tone with the schools. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20070604 |
| Tuesday, June 05, 2007 | [[Dewey and Mel are talking to each other, alone]]
/ Dewey [[arms folded]]: She's an awful teacher.
/ Mel [[pointing at Dewey]]: You'll bring the light of learning to her class. / Dewey: She's taking advantage of me. Her students are out of control. No one else will set foot in her classroom.
/ Mel [[making 'air quotes' with her fingers]]: I thought you liked to "ride the wave of chaos." / Dewey [[sticking his thumb out at himself]]: You're quoting my job interview back to me?
/ Mel [[making 'air quotes' again]]: "My biggest flaw is that I work too hard." http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20070605 |
| Wednesday, June 06, 2007 | [[At the high school's front office.]]
/ Dewey: I'm here from the library to visit the A.P. English class. / Secretary: [[Handing Dewey kneepads and a face mask.]] Here you'll need these.
/ Dewey: I can't give book talks in a *mask.* / Secretary: Then I'll need you to read and sign this waiver of liability.
/ Dewey: [[reading]] "... up to and including the loss of limbs"? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20070606 |
| Thursday, June 07, 2007 | [[Dewey and school secretary are outside a classroom]]
/ Voice [[behind door]]: Aaiieee!!
/ < http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20070607 |
| Friday, June 08, 2007 | Mel: You couldn'f finish the class
/ Dewey: I had to go home sick. / Dewey: It's true. Here's a signed affidavit from the school secretary.
/ Mel: In which she referes to you as "The library Cutie" / Dewey: She loved it when I threw up in the principal's shoes.
/ Mel: Good to see my copy of "How to Make Friends and Influence People" wasn't wasted on you. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20070608 |
| Saturday, June 09, 2007 | Merv: Word on the street is that you threw up at school.
/ Dewey: [[working on computer]] "The street"? / [[overhead shot of Dewey & Merv at desk]]
/ Merv: Do you deny that you ralphed moments before your class?
/ Dewey: The timing was purely coincidental. / Merv: Fingers down the throat?
/ Dewey: Ipecac.
/ Merv: I like how you think. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20070609 |
| Sunday, June 10, 2007 | The Unshelved Book Club present "OWLY: The Way Home & The Bittersweet Summer" by Andy Runton / [[The whole thing is presented like OWLY; graphics with no words]]
/ Dewey: Tamara, you will love this book!
/ Tamara: A graphic novel? / Dewey: A graphic novel!
/ Tamara: Not an owl superhero? / [[Part of OWLY. Owly finds an apple with a worm in it. Owly makes friends with the worm and walks around with apple and worm on his head]] / [[Tamara loves the book, just as Dewey predicted!]] http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20070610 |
| Monday, June 11, 2007 | [[Dewey is at the information desk. Multiple patrons are coming up to ask questions.]]
/ Male patron: Where's the bathroom? / Female patron: Which bus goes to the mall? / Another male patron: Do you have any books? / [[Mel walks up.]]
/ Mel: How's your day going?
/ Dewey: Putting my master's degree to work, as always. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20070611 |
| Tuesday, June 12, 2007 | Patron #1 [[to Dewey]]: I object to the term "library user". It sounds too much like "drug user". / Patron #1: The library is a peaceful place. It doesn't deserve that association.
/ Patron #2 [[approaching Dewey from the other side]]: Do you have the latest "Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter"? If I don't read it soon I'll die! / Patron #2 [[sliding below the desk]]: Aaagh! I'm going into convulsions!
/ Dewey [[to Patron #1]]: What were you saying?
/ Patron #1: Have a nice day! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20070612 |
| Wednesday, June 13, 2007 | [[Dewey is reading a book when a patron comes up behind him.]] / Patron: Excuse me, are you going to check that out?
/ Dewey: I haven't decided. / Patron: [[arms crossed]] Well you can't. I need it.
/ Dewey: [[smiling]] In that case I've decided to take it. / [[Dewey starts to walk away.]]
/ Patron: How long are you going to keep it?
/ Dewey: It will be proportional to the time it takes you to leave. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20070613 |
| Thursday, June 14, 2007 | [[Dewey is reading and is interrupted by a patron.]]
/ Patron: I'm an avid reader! / Patron: Yup, they don't come more avid than me! / Patron: In fact, I'm going back to my book right now. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20070614 |
| Friday, June 15, 2007 | [[Dewey and female patron at the reference desk. Book on the desk]]
/ Patron: This dictionary isn't big enough. / [[Bigger dictionary on the desk]]
/ Patron: You call that comprehensive? / [[Even bigger dictionary on the desk]]
/ Patron: Finally!
/ Dewey: Out of curiosity, what word are you looking up?
/ Patron: "Overkill" http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20070615 |
| Saturday, June 16, 2007 | Library Tip #37: Know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em. / [[Dewey talking to a patron dressed as The Gambler]]
/ Dewey: You’re bluffing.
/ Patron: I returned that book. / Dewey: I don’t believe you. I’m billing you for the full price.
/ Patron: Then I raise you – double or nothing! / Dewey: Just ante up.
/ Patron: Okay. I’ll take another library card. I’ve got an inside straight to fill! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20070616 |
| Sunday, June 17, 2007 | The Unshelved Book Club presents "Mortal Engines" by Philip Reeve / [[A giant tank, the traction town of London, is moving. Tom and the assassin are in the treadmarks.
/ Dewey: Tom Natsworth, a third class apprentice in the great traction town of London, feels the city swing around and the motor rev up.
/ London is chasing prey, a small minign town.
/ When he is caught leaving his duties to watch he is sent to the "Gut" to sift through the remains of London's "meal".
/ Ther ehe saves his hero, the Head Historian and archaeologist-adventurer Thaddeus Valentine, from an assassin's knife.
/ Tom and the would-be assassin both fall from teh London into the treadmarks in its wake.
/ As adventure takes them across the hunting ground, to Airhave, and the stronghold of the Anit-Traction League, Tom finds out th etruth about his hero and the city he calls home. / [[In the library]]
/ Dewey [[to Merv]]: You're uncharacteristically quiet. / Dewey: You're trying to decide which towns you would consume if you were a giant walking city, aren't you?
/ Merv: Maybe. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20070617 |
| Monday, June 18, 2007 | Mel: We need to make books easier to find.
/ Dewey: Easier than "You're completely surrounded by them?"
/ Colleen: I'll make up some Dewey Decimal System rhymes! / Mel: We have too many special collections.
/ Dewey: But those were your idea! "To make books easier to find!" / Mel: We'll reach out to people who don't use libraries!
/ Dewey: Like stadiums catering to people who hate sports?
/ Tamara: I got the best pedicure of my life at a baseball game.
/ Colleen: "It's no great mystery, 900 is for history!" http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20070618 |
| Tuesday, June 19, 2007 | [[Dewey, behind his desk, talks to Merv.]]
/ Dewey: It's summer. You're not supposed to look glum.
/ Merv: I got homework. / Dewey: And you're doing it early? Who are you and what have you done with Merv?
/ Merv: It's due mid-summer. Our teacher can't have a life, so neither can we. / Dewey: I'm sure you'd never be that petty.
/ Merv: She said we could call for help. I figure she'll be asleep at midnight. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20070619 |
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