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| Saturday, September 14, 2002 | [[Ned hands Colleen a sign saying "Library Unfair to Single Moms"]]
/ Colleen: Are you sure this is absolutely necessary?
/ Ned: Trust me. You need to attract the media's attention. / Colleen: Okay. Here goes! / [[Collen is disgruntled to see Buddy with a sign "Library Unfair to Funny Animals."]] http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020914 |
| Sunday, September 15, 2002 | [[Collen holds "Library Unfair to Single Moms" sign while Buddy holds "Library Unfair to Funny Animals" sign]]
/ Colleen: I'm just saying the mine is a NATIONAL issue!
/ Buddy: You think mine isn't? / Colleen[[musingly]]: "Funny Animal Workers Local 503"
/ Buddy: You should see our main office in Orlando! / Colleen: Fine. You can share my picket line.
/ Buddy: No, YOU can share MY picket line!
/ [[Merv holds "Library Unfair to Nonreaders" sign]] http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020915 |
| Monday, September 16, 2002 | Dewey: Aren't you vegetarian?
/ Tamara [[holding sandwich]]: Usually. I'm experimenting with "low impact meat". / Dewey: "Low impact"?
/ Tamara: Animals that die from natural causes. / Dewey: Like what?
/ Tamara: You know... old age, disease, that sort of thing. / Dewey: Sounds delicious.
/ Tamara: Actually, this old fella's a little stringy... http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020916 |
| Tuesday, September 17, 2002 | [[Dewey, watching TV]]
/ TV announcer: Colleen, thanks for telling us your heartbreaking story.
/ Colleen: I...I... < http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020917 |
| Wednesday, September 18, 2002 | Mel: The media is really picking up on Colleen's "single working mother" lawsuit.
/ Dewey: I saw her on a talk show. She cried. Her baby cried. It was powerful stuff. / Mel: I spoke with the Board. They called her tactics "abhorrent blackmail." And you know what that means. / Dewey: They're going to fold?
/ Mel: Like a cheap suit. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020918 |
| Thursday, September 19, 2002 | Mel: ... And you can have the feeding breaks but you have to use the public changing table.
/ Colleen: Fair enough. / Mel [[shaking hands with Colleen]]: I'm glad we were able to reach an agreement.
/ Colleen: I'm glad the board caved like a chocolate souffle. / Mel: The gloating begins.
/ Colleen: Actually it began last night at the victory party. / Mel [[to Dewey]]: You have a big mouth. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020919 |
| Friday, September 20, 2002 | Dewey: Congratulations. I'm sure we'll enjoy having little Doreen here at work.
/ Colleen [[holding baby Doreen]]: You sound a little ... apprehensive. / Dewey [[walking away]]: Not at all. I'm behind you 97%. / Colleen: Don't worry, you won't have to change any diapers.
/ Dewey [[about to hug Colleen and baby Doreen]]: Like I said, 100%! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020920 |
| Saturday, September 21, 2002 | "What do you do in your spare time?" / [[Tamara, in Mallville Aikido, tosses a sparring partner past her hip.]] / [[Mel stands hip-deep in the river with a fishing rod.]] / [[Colleen reads in bed, Doreen lying on the bed beside her.]] / [[Dewey and Merv sit in a movie theatre with popcorn and soda.]]
/ Merv: Dude, we're reading.
/ Dewey: It's okay, subtitles don't count. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020921 |
| Sunday, September 22, 2002 | Tamara: Buddy needs a job.
/ Dewey: I know, but who would be bleeding-heart enough to hire someone in a beaver suit? / Mel: Despite what happened last time, I've decided that the "Hyperactive Homeless Children's Association for the Prevention of Nausea" can use the meeting room again. / Tamara: Suddenly I have an idea.
/ Dewey: I hope it involves drop cloths. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020922 |
| Monday, September 23, 2002 | Tamara: I think Buddy would make a good page.
/ Mel: Define "good." / Tamara: Okay, I think he'd be happy as a page.
/ Mel: And I'd be happy as an overpaid oil executive. / Mel: Seriouly Tamara the competion is pretty fierce. Is he up to it?
/ Tamara: I'm certain of it.
/ Buddy [[peeking out from behind a bookcase]]: Psst... do pages have to read? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020923 |
| Tuesday, September 24, 2002 | [[Mel speaking to a room of people]]
/ Mel: You are all outstanding candidates for library page. Unfortunately for us we can only pick one of you. / Mel: We will interview each of you and conduct a series of task evaluations. Are there any questions before we begin? / Buddy: Are there health benefits? Because someone really ought to look at the rash on my butt. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020924 |
| Page Competition | [[Mel is interviewing Molly and Buddy the Book Beaver for a Library page position]]
/ Mel: Library pages keep the books in order. We'll time you as each of you organize a section of nonfiction. Yes, Molly? / Molly: I did that while I was waiting for my interview.
/ Mel: Oh? Which section? / Molly: The whole Library.
/ [[Buddy is inspecting the spine of a book]]
/ Buddy: Hey! There are number on these books! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020925 |
| Page | [[Dewey and Mel foreground, Buddy shelving in the background]]
/ Dewey: How's the page competition going?
/ Mel: Well, Molly organized every book we have in under an hour. Now she's optimizing the desk schedule. / [[Buddy is slipping on his kick stool, taking books flying with him.]]
/ Dewey: So Buddy doesn't stand a chance?
/ Mel: I wouldn't say that. / [[Buddy is collapsed in a heap on the floor covered in books.]]
/ Dewey: You're thinking of all the children who love Buddy?
/ Mel: I'm thinking of keeping my job.
/ Molly: Did you know that your performance review model is obsolete? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020926 |
| Friday, September 27, 2002 | [[Tamara and Mel talking]]
/ Tamara: I can't understand it! Molly is bright, motivated, likeable, and a fast and efficient worker. / Tamara: She loves libraries, volunteers at the soup kitchen, and sews her own clothes.
/ Mel: So what can't you understand? / [[Tamara's fists are trembling Mel has a hand on her shoulder]]
/ Tamara: I HATE her!
/ Mel: We all do. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020927 |
| Saturday, September 28, 2002 | [[We see Buddy.]]
/ Mel [[not seen]]: It wasn't easy, but we made a decision. Our new library page is... Molly!
/ Buddy: Dang! / [[Mel looks around. Dewey stands next to her.]]
/ Mel: Uh...where *is* Molly?
/ Dewey: I forgot to tell you. She took an internship with the Dalai Lama. / [[Mel looks at her notebook.]]
/ Mel: Then we'll go with our runner-up... Casey!
/ Dewey [[not seen]]: Working for his father at the mortuary. / [[We see Buddy again. He looks dejected.]]
/ Mel: Brian?
/ Dewey: Dot-com V.P.
/ Mel: Shannon?
/ Dewey: Divorce hotline.
/ Mel: Michael?
/ Dewey: Fraud squad. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020928 |
| Sunday, September 29, 2002 | [[Merv is speaking to Dewey, who is behind the reference, at the computer.]] / Merv: Buddy's the new page?
/ Dewey: That's right. / Merv: [[musing]] Maybe *I* should have applied.
/ Dewey: You're not old enough. Next year. / Merv: One day I'll be old enough to do *anything*!
/ Dewey: And what a great day *that* will be. / Merv: [[walking away]] I hope I won't spend all my time reminiscing about my childhood.
/ Dewey: It was just one "Battlestar Galactica" marathon. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020929 |
| Monday, September 30, 2002 | [[Dewey talks to Mother and Son at the reference desk.]]
/ Dewey: Sorry, we don't have a copy.
/ Son: Check again.
/ Mother: He wants you to check again. / Dewey: I did. Twice. I can request an interlibrary loan...
/ Son: But I need it today!
/ Mother: He needs it today. / [[This panel in silhouette.]]
/ Dewey: You know, there might just be a copy in back. Wait here. / [[Colleen is sitting at a computer. Mel is looking at her watch.]]
/ Colleen: He said he was taking a coffee break.
/ Mel: That's odd. He usually goes later in the day. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20020930 |
| Tuesday, October 01, 2002 | [[Dewey and Tamara watch Colleen reading to Doreen]]
/ Dewey: Is that Colleen?
/ Tamara: Yes... Isn't it BEAUTIFUL? A mother reading to her baby! / Dewey: I'm not sure "beautiful" is the right word.
/ Tamara: What do you mean? / [[Colleen read from Dewey For Dummies]]
/ Colleen: Let's start with the important stuff. 010 - Bibliographies. 020 - Library * Information Science. 030 - Encyclopedias of General Knowledge. 060 - General Organizations & Museums. 070 - New Media, Journalism, Publishing.
/ Doreen: Gaaoooh! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20021001 |
| Wednesday, October 02, 2002 | [[Dewey comes upon a young couple kissing]] / [[Colleen and Doreen join him]]
/ Dewey: Well, it IS springtime.
/ Colleen: Fall, actually. Don't watch, Doreen. / [[Tamara joins them]]
/ Tamara: What are they, fourteen?
/ Dewey: When I was fourteen I didn't even TALK to girls! / [[Mel joins them, looking in a book]]
/ Dewey: Looking for the rule on displays of affection?
/ Mel: No, I'm going to treat it as a choking hazard. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20021002 |
| Thursday, October 03, 2002 | [[A couple is making out in the foreground. In the background each of the librarians attempts to stop them.]]
/ Mel: You're in direct violation of library policy. / Tamara: That's really beyond the bounds of good taste. / Dewey: You're making the computer nerds jealous. Your credit rating is at risk. / Colleen: Hey Cousteau! you've got five seconds to come up for air before I start sending polaroids to her father. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20021003 |
| Friday, October 04, 2002 | Dewey: You're just going to LEAVE them there?!?
/ Mel: These aren't the first amorous teens I've seen [[holding phone]] / Mel announces: Our performance art piece "Love in the Afternoon" is currently on display in Fiction L-P. / Girl: That sounds kinda interesting.
/ Guy with lipstick marks on face: Why is everyone heading this way? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20021004 |
| Saturday, October 05, 2002 | Library Tip #4: Return your books on time / [[Tamara, Colleen, Doreen, Dewey, and Mel are dressed in dark suits and glasses. They are at someone's front door.]]
/ Dewey: We're here to see your son David about a lost copy of Gary Paulsen's "Hatchet." Is he home? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20021005 |
| Sunday, October 06, 2002 | [[A man is handing Dewey, who is manning the information desk, a very furry book]]
/ Dewey: Let me guess -- a book on furs? Shag carpeting? Tarantulas? / Dewey: Hairy tongue? Bearded ladies? Taxidermy? / Dewey: Velvet paintings? Chia pets? Crew cuts? / Man: No, man, it's just moldy.
/ Dewey: I know but I'm trying to have some FUN here. Work with me. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20021006 |
| Monday, October 07, 2002 | Mel: Hey Dewey, what do you have planned for "Teen Read Week"?
/ Dewey: Um? / Mel: This year's theme is graphic novels! You must be all OVER it!
/ Dewey: Oh I am. I definitely am. / Mel: You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?
/ Dewey: Well I'm pretty sure it means more work for me. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20021007 |
| Tuesday, October 08, 2002 | Mel: The bad news is our summer reading fiasco really ate up our programming budget.
/ Dewey: What's left? / Mel: Uh ... $23
/ Dewey: That's it? / Mel: I think I might have a few jellybeans somewhere...
/ Dewey: Hmmm, maybe I can sell some office equipment on eBay. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20021008 |
| Wednesday, October 09, 2002 | Mel: Have you decided how to spend your budget?
/ Dewey: My BUDGET? Oh, you mean the $23. / Mel: Yes. How are you going to spend it on "Teen Read Week"?
/ Dewey: I was thinking of blowing it all on a Superbowl ad. / Mel: You're going to buy a Superbowl ad?
/ Dewey: We're going to watch one. I think my budget might pay for the electricity. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20021009 |
| Thursday, October 10, 2002 | [[Dewey is sitting behind a computer screen facing forward, and Mel stands behind him looking over his right shoulder.]] / Mel: I think you ought to convene a "Teen Council" to help you spend your budget.
/ Dewey: That sounds productive. / [[Four teens sit at a table with Dewey. They are gesturing in various ways while Dewey has his elbows on the table and his chin in his hands.]] / Merv: Free pizza!
/ Tall blonde teen: Free drugs!
/ Shorter dark-haired teen: Free Nelson Mandela!
/ Blonde girl with longer hair: Psst... I think she's already free. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20021010 |
| Friday, October 11, 2002 | Dewey: I need your help deciding how to spend our "Teen Read Week" budget. / Merv: I've put a great deal of thought into this burning question, and I have an answer.
/ Dewey: We're not buying "Fists of Blood 3" with new "Force Feedback Gore Gloves" add-on. / Merv: Well why bother even asking?
/ Dewey: That's a good question.
/ Female patron: Do you have back issues of "High Times"? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20021011 |
| Saturday, October 12, 2002 | Dewey [[seen as a shadow in profile through a door upon which hangs a sign saying TEEN COUNCIL]]: Let's review your suggestions for "Teen Read Week." / Dewey [[continuing]]: Merv wants to buy a particularly violent video game
/ Merv: It's illegal in SEVEN STATES!
/ Dewey [[continuing]]: Dax thinks we should throw a "Reading Rave"
/ Dax [[making quote marks with her fingers]]: "Books are 'X'-ellent!"
/ Dewey [[continuing]]: And Madison and Montana... I forget. What was it again?
/ Madison: A teen book club! / Montana: To talk about books we've read! / Dewey [[leaning on the table with both hands]]: I just wish we had some REALISTIC ideas.
/ Merv [[holding a magazine and pointing to an article]]: "Soldier of Fortune" gave it five stars! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20021012 |
| Sunday, October 13, 2002 | [[Tamara and Dewey walking through library]]
/ Tamara: How's Teen Read Week shaping up?
/ Dewey: Amorphously.
/ Tamara: You've read so many graphic novels. You must have a million great ideas!
/ Dewey: I must? / Tamara: Sure! Now me, not knowing better I'd probably resort to something simple. Like having teenagers draw their own comic books. / [[Dewey pulls out paper and pencil following Tamara]]
/ Dewey: Laughably simple, yes...but out of curiosity, what would that require exactly?
/ Tamara: Oh I don't know, paper, some pencils... it probably couldn't cost more then $20. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20021013 |
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