You're browsing the archives of Unshelved.
You can search these comics too.
show: [ full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]
| Tuesday, November 11, 2008 | [[At the library's service desk]]
/ Dewey: We don't give refunds.
/ Customer: But I brought the book BACK. / Dewey: Right. Because you BORROWED it.
/ Customer [[pointing finger at Dewey]]: I don't think you understand how retail works. / Dewey: Let me guess-- First timer?
/ Custormer [[holding up two fingers]]: This is my SECOND visit to this bookstore. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20081111 |
| Wednesday, November 12, 2008 | [[Dewey is leaning on the Information Desk, talking to a patron]] / Dewey: Let's pretend this *was* a bookstore.
/ Patron: Well, it's not a sports equipment outlet. / Dewey: You say you're returning this book for a refund.
/ Patron: That's right. / Dewey: I'll need to see a receipt.
/ Patron: You have terrible customer service. I'm taking my business elsewhere. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20081112 |
| Thursday, November 13, 2008 | [[Dewey is talking to a patron who is using his cell phone. The "No Cell Phones" sign is visible in the background]] / Dewey: Aren't you going to put it away?
/ Patron [[still using the phone]]: I prefer to wait for the threat. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20081113 |
| Friday, November 14, 2008 | [[Dewey is talking to a patron who is using his cell phone. The 'No Cell Phones' sign is visible in the background]] / Dewey: You can't stall any longer!
/ Patron [[Still on the phone]]: Apparently I can. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20081114 |
| Saturday, November 15, 2008 | [[Dewey is pushing a patron out of the library entrance; the patron is putting his cell phone in his shirt pocket]]
/ Patron: Okay, okay. It's gone!
/ Dewey: Then you and your cellphone have something in common. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20081115 |
| Sunday, November 16, 2008 | [[Dewey is dressed like a pulp detective. The comic is black and white.]]
/ Dewey: I knew when she walked into the library that she wasn't looking for light reading. / Dewey: Blond hair down to there, legs up to there, and plenty of "there" in between. / Dewey: She had needs, and I was in the business of meeting needs.
/ But what could a guy like me do for a gal like her?
/ Lucky me. She just wanted a good book. And I had just the ticket
/ One Night Stands and Lost Weekends by Lawrence Block
/ Short stories and novellas from the golden age of pulp / [[She slaps Dewey's face]]
/ < http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20081116 |
| Monday, November 17, 2008 | [[A nice old lady has just handed Dewey a box of cupcakes]]
/ Dewey [[holding box]]: You have a question about cupcakes?
/ Lady: These are a thank-you for everything librarians have ever done for me! / Dewey: But I've never seen you before.
/ Lady [[walking away]]: Have a nice day! / Dewey [[holding up cupcake]]: Wait! Come back! Give me a reason to trust you! And your cupcakes! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20081117 |
| Tuesday, November 18, 2008 | Tamara: Cupcakes!
/ Dewey: I'm not sure of their provenance. / Tamara: You said a kindly old lady dropped them off!
/ Dewey: But I didn't recognize her. / Tamara: Grandmas can always be trusted!
/ Dewey's Grandma [[waving cane in Dewey's face]]: That $20 I owe you? How about double or nothing? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20081118 |
| Wednesday, November 19, 2008 | Dewey [[leaning head into room]]: Hypothetical question.
/ Mel [[busy with laptop]]: Shoot. / Dewey: Unknown patron makes gift of food.
/ Mel [[still busy]] Too risky. Dispose. / Dewey: So I should throw out the cupcakes?
/ Mel [[looking up]]: CUPCAKES? Are they CHOCOLATE? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20081119 |
| Thursday, November 20, 2008 | Dewey: In olden times they had a solution for problems like this. / Dewey: A brave but dispensible soldier was assigned to test suspicious foodstuffs. / Mel: I can't make anyone risk their life just for a cupcake.
/ Dewey: That's why they used volunteers.
/ [[Buddy is happily about to bit into a cupcake]] http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20081120 |
| Friday, November 21, 2008 | Tamara: The mystery cupcakes seem safe?
/ Buddy: And delicious! / Dewey [[as Tamara is about to bite into one]]: There is one problem, though. We don't know if they're VEGAN. / Mel: Don't ask, don't tell...
/ Tamara [[as she determinedly reaches for another]]: ...don't listen to Dewey. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20081121 |
| Saturday, November 22, 2008 | [[A patron is standing impatiently at the desk; Dewey is using the computer.]] / Patron [[pointing at self with thumb]]: You're wasting my time!
/ Dewey: I'm looking for the answer to your question. / Patron [[pointing at Dewey]]: Well you're not very efficient.
/ Dewey: That's because you keep interrupting me. / [[Dewey looks at her, waiting for the next interruption]]
/ Patron [[arms crossed across chest]]: What? I took the hint. Get on with the magic. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20081122 |
| Sunday, November 23, 2008 | The Unshelved Book Club presents SHADE'S CHILDREN by Garth Nix / [[A green car with a ripped-open roof drives towards the viewer. A kid is driving, and two other kids huddle behind a man standing in the passenger seat. The man is standing out the roof, brandishing a sword against a swooping monster. More monsters are in the background.]]
/ Dewey: Fifteen years ago all the machines stopped and everyone over 14 vanished.
/ The OVERLORDS appeared and herded the survivors into dorms.
/ When the kids reach their 14th birthday they are harvested to build grotesque creatures that battle one another.
/ SHADE is an adult scientist from before the change.
/ Sort of.
/ His personality is stored in a computer.
/ He uses robots and holograms to interact with the world.
/ From his hidden submarine base he trains teams of Dorm escapees to fight the Overlords.
/ He's running out of recruits.
/ Finally there's an opportunity for Shade to discover the Overlords' secret.
/ But first ELLA (the oldest living person) and her team will have to survive their mission to his original lab. / [[Back to the library]]
/ Cathy: Does the future ALWAYS have to be post-apocalyptic?
/ Dewey: No, but it helps. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20081123 |
| Monday, November 24, 2008 | [[A girl is sitting next to a box of kittens]]
/ Girl: Free kitten?
/ Dewey: You'll pay for its food and medical bills? / Dewey: Haven't you ever heard of "total cost of ownership"? / [[Tamara appears]]
/ Girl: Free kitten?
/ Tamara: I want them all! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20081124 |
| Tuesday, November 25, 2008 | [[Dewey stands with his arms crossed in front of Mel, who is seated, working at her laptop]]
/ Dewey: There was a girl giving away cats in front of the library. / Dewey: I told her she had to move along. / [[Tamara enters, holding a cat]]
/ Dewey: I was too late.
/ Tamara: Take care of Snowflake while I get her sisters! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20081125 |
| Wednesday, November 26, 2008 | [[Dewey sits in an armchair in front of the stacks. One cat sits on his arm.]] / [[Two more cats arrive. One climbs up Dewey's arm on the far side of the chair and the other nuzzles up on his shoulder, balancing its back feet on the back of the chair. The first cat gets up and starts walking around to the back of the chair.]] / [[Tamara enters. Now there are four cats on Dewey. The one scrambling up the chair arm has made it to perch on Dewey. The shoulder balancer is curled around his neck, still half balanced on the chair. The original cat is now dangling from the back of the chair by its front claws. The fourth is curled in Dewey's lap.]]
/ Tamara: I think that's all the kittens in the box!
/ Dewey: I think that's all the kittens in the world. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20081126 |
| Thursday, November 27, 2008 | [[A cat is on a library bookshelf. A child is pointing to the cat and speaking to Mel.]]
/ Child: Is that the library cat?
/ Mel: No. / [[Now there are two cats on the shelf, batting paws with each other.]]
/ Child: I bet you have a different cat for every part of the library!
/ Mel: We don't. / [[Tamara stands up from behind shelf; there are now three cats on the shelf and one on Tamara's head.]]
/ Child: Which one is for us kids?
/ Tamara: All of them!
/ Mel [[arms folded, facing Tamara]]: We need to talk. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20081127 |
| Friday, November 28, 2008 | [[Tamara and Dewey are walking.]]
/ Tamara: I can't believe none of you like my kittens!
/ Dewey: I can't believe you do. / [[Tamara has stopped walking; Dewey continues.]]
/ Tamara: What do you mean?
/ Dewey: Well, you're a germaphobe. And you just adopted a poop factory. / [[Tamara is sitting behind a box of kittens, holding one up to a kid.]]
/ Tamara: Free kittens? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20081128 |
| Saturday, November 29, 2008 | [[Tamara and Dewey are at the reference desk]]
/ Dewey: We got a call from some guy who heard you'd take in a litter of kittens. / Dewey: He wanted to know if you'd take an incontinent old dog that needs hip replacement surgery / Tamara: Well I might...
/ Dewey: I know, so I exercised discretion on your behalf and only pretended to take his number. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20081129 |
| Sunday, November 30, 2008 | The Unshelved Book Club presents ALAN'S WAR: The memories of G.I. Alan Cope by Emanuel Guibert / [[A G.I. in sitting down, eating]]
/ G.I. Narration: I never turned up my nose at field rations. A lot of soldiers didn't like them, but I always enjoyed eating them. I had a hearty appetite. / Dewey: Alan Cope was born in a Los Angeles Suburb in 1925 and served in Europe during WWII. His service was uneventful, a series of jobs punctuated by surreal wartime experiences. There was frequent boredom and rare terror.
/ In 1994, five years before his death, Alan met cartoonist Emanuel Guibert and the two became close friends. They decided to tell his story together.
/ Alan's War isn't about the war. It's about the details: friends, living conditions, the people he met. Alan quietly found the passions that would define the rest of his life. / [[Tamara is looking at the book and walking with Dewey in the library]]
/ Tamara: You know I don't like war.
/ Dewey: But you do like people.
/ And you'd like Alan.
/ And, now that he's gone, this is the only way you can get to know him. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20081130 |
| Monday, December 01, 2008 | [[Dewey, at reference desk, looking at computer screen. Old man with hat faces him.]]
/ Old man with hat: It's a crime that you don't have this book.
/ Dewey: We do. It's currently checked out. / Old man with hat: It's the best book in the world. Its a crime that you don't have more than one copy.
/ Dewey: We do. They're all checked out. / Old man with hat: It's a --
/ Dewey: Crime, yes. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20081201 |
| Tuesday, December 02, 2008 | Patron: I demand that you buy more copies of this book.
/ Dewey: You'll just have to put your name on the holds list. / Patron: Oh I already own a copy.
/ Dewey: You do? / Patron: I just think everyone should read it.
/ Dewey: Are you sure you're not on commission? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20081202 |
| Wednesday, December 03, 2008 | [[Mel and Dewey in foreground, male patron in background]]
/ Mel: Just order another book.
/ Dewey: I can't believe you're giving in to this guy. / [[Mel and Dewey talking]]
/ Mel: It'll take 10 minutes. You've been dealing with him for 20. The book will cost us less than your time.
/ Dewey: We've already SPENT my time.
/ Plus DOUBLE for the conversation we're having right now. / [[Mel and Dewey facing the patron who is in the background]]
/ Mel: Are YOU going to tell him we spent his book money talking about spending his book money?
/ Dewey: With glee. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20081203 |
| Thursday, December 04, 2008 | Patron: Okay, put me on the holds list for that book.
/ Dewey: I thought you owned a copy. / Patron: I do. But I can't leave here empty-handed.
/ Dewey: I'll give you this box of paperclips if you go now. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20081204 |
| Friday, December 05, 2008 | [[Patron at desk with open book]]
/ < http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20081205 |
| Saturday, December 06, 2008 | Patron: You can't charge me for sneezing!
/ Dewey [[presenting a bill to the patron]]: This is for using your book as a tissue. / Patron: It's still readable!
/ Dewey: Show me. / Patron [[playing with the book]]: I can't get the pages unstuck.
/ Dewey [[amending the bill]: I'm charging double. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20081206 |
| Sunday, December 07, 2008 | Unshelved Book Club: Mathematicians in Love by Rudy Rucker / Dewey: Bela is a California surfer dude, a guitar-playing grad student who sees math as pictures in his head.
/ His roommate Paul is a traditional genius from Kentucky with great job prospects.
/ If they can finish their joint thesis they'll be able to build computers that predict the future.
/ but their advisor has it in for Bela, the local senate candidate may be using their theories to rig the election, and Bela and Paul are both in love with the same woman. / Male customer: Reminds me of my grad school days.
/ Dewey: I forgot to mention that strange beings from another universe are watching them through mirrors.
/ Customer: Yeah, tell me about it. Good times. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20081207 |
| December 08, 2008 | {{Repeat of the strip originally run on 2/20/2006}} http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20081208 |
| Tuesday, December 09, 2008 | {{Repeat of the strip originally run on 2/21/2006}} http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20081209 |
| Wednesday, December 10, 2008 | {{Repeat of the strip originally run on 2/22/2006}} http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20081210 |
Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40
41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60
61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80
81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100
101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120
121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 >>