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| Saturday, January 10, 2009 | Mel: Speaking on behalf of the staff, we're excited that you've discovered the joy of making music. / Mel: Speaking on behalf of the staff, we think the "check out a ukelele" program has been a huge success. / Mel: Speaking on behalf of the staff, we'd like you to STOP.
/ Dewey: And now, a medley of the very best of Van Halen. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090110 |
| Sunday, January 11, 2009 | The Unshelved The Unshelved Book Club presents "The Miracle Worker" by William Gibson / [[Tamara's face hovers above the left corner of the panel. Annie Sullivan stands wearing dark glasses and a pink checked apron over her gray shirt and slacks, watching a wild haired, purple dressed Helen Keller smash plates beside an upturned table and chairs. A neatly organized cupboard in the background suggests Helen has a lot of ammo at her disposal.]] / Tamara: Annie Sullivan is twenty, half-blind, fresh out of school, and just stepped off the train from Boston.
/ She's been hired to teach six-year-old Helen Keller, deaf, blind, and mute since infancy.
/ But Annie's real challenge is Helen's parents.
/ Helen's mother is so overcome with guilt she can deny her daughter nothing.
/ And her father, naturally suspicious of educated women from the North, doesn't really believe anything can be done to help his daughter.
/ Even for someone as bright and stubborn as Annie, getting through to Helen will take ... well, you know. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090111 |
| Monday, January 12, 2009 | [[In the foreground a Computer Victim is walking away with his hands over his face, tears streaming down]]
/ Mel: We try not to make people cry.
/ Dewey: He needed the release. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090112 |
| Tuesday, January 13, 2009 | {{Bill's annual birthday strip drawn by Gene Ambaum}} / [[Dewey is bowing at the desk while everyone applauds]]
/ < http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090113 |
| Wednesday, January 14, 2009 | Woman: My credit cards are maxed-out, my car just got repossessed, and I'm about to declare bankruptcy!
/ Man: There are so many investement opportunities! I can't choose between them all!
/ [[Dewey standing between them at reference desk.]] http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090114 |
| Thursday, January 15, 2009 | Computer Victim: This computer's going crazy!
/ Dewey: Shut it down. / Computer Victim: But I need to use it!
/ Dewey: Probably overheating. Give it some time to cool down. / Female patron: How do I send an email to my grandma?
/ Dewey: Shut it down. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090115 |
| Friday, January 16, 2009 | Man [[combing his hair]]:I / Woman [[picking at her teeth]]: Have / Man [[shaving]]: A / Woman [[clipping her nails]]: Question
/ [[Dewey walks away, disgusted]] http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090116 |
| Saturday, January 17, 2009 | Mel: That comment was Mervesque.
/ Dewey: I don't take after Merv. He takes after me. / [[Mel and Dewey walking down a corridor]]
/ Mel: You sounded just like him.
/ Dewey: That's because I taught him everything he knows. / Mel: So you're not denying it?
/ Dewey [[Low-fiving Merv]]: No, I'm taking credit! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090117 |
| Sunday, January 18, 2009 | The Unshelved Book Club presents "The Foundation Trilogy" by Isaac Asimov
/ {{Guest strip by Jeff Zugale}} / boy: this is the most famous three-part story in science fiction!
/ girl: i think i've already seen it.
/ boy: it's a galaxy-spanning epic covering several generations!
/ girl: yeah, i think i've seen it.
/ boy: no, you haven't. / [[spaceships]]
/ boy: a small group struggles in conflict with the powerful galactic empire!
/ girl: seen it!
/ boy: no, you haven't. / boy: a young man from a farming world travels to the imperial capital planet --
/ girl: yeah, yeah. / [[single, gigantic city]]
/ boy: whose surface is completely covered over with a single, gigantic city...
/ girl: yes, i know!
/ boy: where he is caught up in a web of political intrigue!
/ girl: you're silly, we've both seen this!
/ boy: no, we haven't. / boy: four people including a pilot named "han"...
/ girl: let me guess... they face a shadowy warlord with powers of mind control?
/ boy: yeah, exactly!
/ girl: look, you have this on dvd!
/ boy: no, i don't.
/ girl: yes, you do!! / boy: no, i don't, because i'm talking about
/ [[title]]
/ Isaac Asimov's
/ Foundation Trilogy / boy: which was written in the 1950s. no one has made a film of it (yet). / girl: but... but then... where did... ohhh. / boy: now you get it! start from the source! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090118 |
| Monday, January 19, 2009 | [[Dewey comes in out of a snowstorm]] / Mel: You made it in! You're my hero!
/ Dewey: Policy says I only get paid if I show up.
/ Mel: You read the policy! You're my hero! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090119 |
| Tuesday, January 20, 2009 | Mel: Now we can open the library!
/ Dewey: Why would we do THAT? / Mel: People need us even more when it's snowing! They need information about weatherproofing! Sledding conditions! Meteorology! Whatever their questions we have the answers! / Patron: Where's the bathroom?
/ Dewey: We're closed. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090120 |
| Wednesday, January 21, 2009 | [[in library - Dewey and Mel are putting on coats to leave at the end of a snowy winter's day]]
/ Dewey: Not a single customer all day.
/ Mel: The important thing is that we're here. / Mel: We're an institution. Neither rain, nor snow, nor sleet, nor hail shall keep the librarians from their appointed rounds. / Dewey: So I'll see you here again tomorrow?
/ Mel: No it's my day off. I'm going skiing! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090121 |
| Thursday, January 22, 2009 | [[Cathy and Dewey holding game controllers]]
/ Cathy: It's nice to have a day off together
/ Dewey: Oh I don't have the day off / Cathy: I don't understand
/ Dewey: Policy says on snow days I get paid for the full day even if I get in late / Cathy [[hands on hips]]: It's four o'clock in the afternoon
/ Dewey: Yeah I should really be getting ready http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090122 |
| Friday, January 23, 2009 | [[Dewey reclining in library chair with steaming coffee mug. He is on the phone]]
/ Dewey: No, I'm the first one here
/ < http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090123 |
| Saturday, January 24, 2009 | [[Man wearing a snow hat with earflaps is handing Dewey a book. Dewey is grinning.]]
/ Dewey: No problem!
/ Man: But I didn't give you my excuse yet! / [[Dewey takes the book. They are seen from the side, in silhouette.]]
/ Dewey: I'm just impressed you returned this book in the snow!
/ Man: It's a year overdue. I figured this might earn me some sympathy. / [[Dewey looks down at his computer. He is still smiling.]]
/ Dewey: I'm reducing your fine by thirty-five cents!
/ Man: That's not much sympathy. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090124 |
| Sunday, January 25, 2009 | {{Guest strip by Lars Brown}} / The Unshelved Book Club presents Haruki Marukami's "Sputnik Sweetheart: From Russia With Love"
/ [[In a smoky bar, with a lovelorn woman looking in the front window from the outside]]
/ Sumire is an aspiring writer living in Tokyo. Her friend, who is only referred to as K, is an elementary school teacher.
/ They'd been friends since college, but K had never confessed that he loves Sumire.
/ In a worst-case friends scenario Sumire informs K that she has fallen in love with an older woman named Miu.
/ While Miu cannot return Sumire's affection, she does hire her on as her personal assistant. / [[A seaside scene, with steps cut into a hillside leading up to red-tile roofed buildings and a Greek city built up a hill in the background. K, smoking, walks up the steps, while a blonde woman holding a red telephone stares. At the right of the panel, a skeletal Laika inside Sputnik dominates the frame.]]
/ While on a holiday in Greece Sumire goes missing and Miu asks K to find her.
/ A tale of three lovelorn people, all as lonely as Laika orbiting the Earth in Sputnik II.
/ Something about it just strikes a chord with me. / [[In a wine and cheese shop, Conrad wearing a red shirt with a demon on the back. Cashier reading the book behind the till.]]
/ Conrad: Well, yeah, stuff like that happens to you all the time.
/ Cashier: It's like looking into a freaking mirror.
/ [[In the lower right corner, we see a disgruntled badger-like creature wearing a crown]]
/ Disgruntled badger: It's really not. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090125 |
| Monday, January 26, 2009 | Patron: Some kids are building a snowman.
/ Dewey: Is it blocking the door? / [[ A snowman has been built inside the library, with newspapers for arms, a book for a hat, and a bookmark for a tie]]
/ Dewey: I'm not sure I can bring myself to put a stop to this.
/ Merv: What shall we use for a nose?
/ Sanjay: Stapler. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090126 |
| Tuesday, January 27, 2009 | Tamara [[dismayed]]: Did you know there's a snowman in the children's section?
/ Dewey: Isn't it awesome? / Tamara [[seething]]: No! It's going to melt over decades of award-winning juvenile fiction!
/ Dewey: [[leaving]] Easily solved. / Mel [[shivering]]: Do I want to know why the heat is off on the coldest day of the year?
/ Dewey [[dressed warmly, reading a book and generally insouciant]]: Let's say no. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090127 |
| Wednesday, January 28, 2009 | [[Mel, Dewey, Buddy, and a young patron are outside. It is snowing.]]
/ Mel: I said we needed salt.
/ [[Dewey holds up a shovel full of speckled snow.]]
/ Dewey: All we had in the staff room was pepper, and a little paprika.
/ [[Buddy holds out a handful of snow with paprika to the young patron.]]
/ Buddy: Try the yellow snow! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090128 |
| Library Tip #47: We make a living reading people's faces | Library Tip #47: We make a living reading people's faces / Patron: I brought the book back / Patron: Maybe that was a dream? / Patron: I'll pay the fine. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090129 |
| Friday, January 30, 2009 | LIBRARY TIP #48: IF YOU'RE GONNA PLAY THE GAME, LEARN TO DO IT RIGHT / Patron [[with tattered book]]: My dog...
/ Dewey: I don't think so. / Patron: It was like this when I ---
/ Dewey: No it wasn't. / Patron: Would you believe a zombie apocalypse?
/ Dewey: My boss isn't around -- try me http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090130 |
| Saturday, January 31, 2009 | Library Tip #49: Know What To Throw Away, Know What To Keep / [[Old man comes up to Dewey. His arms are full of books, and he looks anxious.]]
/ Old man: I can't carry all these!
/ [[Dewey takes a book off the top.]]
/ Dewey: Lose this. It's junk. / Old man: Why didn't you tell me that earlier?
/ Dewey: I can't offer advice unless you ask. / [[Old man holds up another book.]]
/ Old man: How about this one?
/ Dewey: Depends. How badly do you want to punish yourself? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090131 |
| Sunday, February 01, 2009 | The Unshelved Book Club presents "Addition" by Toni Jordan / [[ A woman sits on the floor, counting fingers on one hand and writing something with the other. She is surrounded by neat stacks and piles of cans, bottles, and other sorted objects. Post-it notes with numbers are stuck on cabinet doors. A frowning man has opened the door a crack to look in at the scene.]]
/ Dewey: Grace has a problem at the checkout line.
/ A big problem.
/ She only has nine bananas.
/ So she creates a diversion and takes one from someone else.
/ Now everything is okay again.
/ Grace counts everything.
/ The letters in her name (19), stripes on her sheet (34), paces to the bathroom (35).
/ And when things happen in tens, beautiful tens, she can breathe and life can go on.
/ Or at least her version of life.
/ Because Grace is to busy counting to work. Or drive. Or even get out of her apartment much.
/ Then a man named Seamus tracks her down to find out why she took his banana.
/ And suddenly her world is turned upside down.
/ He really likes her and she really likes him.
/ Grace might have to choose between counting and living her life.
/ Tamara [[scrubbing sink]]: Sounds like she has a real problem.
/ This isn't clean enough yet - hand me that sponge. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090201 |
| Monday, February 02, 2009 Library Tip #50: Know When to Hold 'Em | Male Patron [[carrying books]]: Can I leave these here?
/ Dewey [[not looking]]: Sure. / Female Patron [[pointing at books]]: Can I take these?
/ Dewey [[not looking]]: Sure. / Male Patron [[aghast]]: What happened to those books?
/ Dewey [[not looking]]: What *hasn't* happened to them? http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090202 |
| Tuesday, February 03, 2009 | Library Tip #51: Know when to fold 'em / [[Merv is seated before a pile of paper, Sanjay holds an origami swan]]
/ Merv:This rigami homework is killing me!
/ Sanjay: Swan! / [[Merv is seated before a pile of paper, Sanjay holds an origami turtle]]
/ Merv: What does this double dotted line mean?
/ Sanjay: Turtle! / [[Sanjay holds an origami crawfish, Merv holds a giant crumpled ball of origami paper]]
/ Sanjay: Crawfish!
/ Merv: Extinction event meteor! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090203 |
| Wednesday, February 04, 2009 | Library Tip #52: Know when to walk away / [[Merv faces Dewey]]
/ Merv: It wasn't my fault this time!
/ Dewey: I know. I saw. But no one will believe you. / [[close up on Merv]]
/ Merv: I'm the boy who cried wolf! No, wait, I'm the WOLF! / [[angry Mel hustles Merv away, whilst Dewey stands back, arms folded]]
/ Merv: I'm a wolf! An innocent wolf!
/ Dewey: Faulty metaphors claim another victim http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090204 |
| Thursday, February 05, 2009 | Library Tip #53: Know when to run / Dewey: I'm afraid I have to ask you to quiet down.
/ Angry Patron: You OUGHTA be afraid! / [[Dewey and Angry Patron face off]]
/ Dewey: You have two choices: my way, or the hard way.
/ Angry Patron: I'll take the hard way! / Tamara: Excuse me, I need to save a coworker from himself. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090205 |
| Friday, February 06, 2009 | Male Patron: $100, $200, $300... / Male Patron: ...$400, $500, $600...
/ Dewey: Sir, that's a very bad idea. / Male Patron: Why? I'm not bothering anyone.
/ Grandma: You had me at $500! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090206 |
| Saturday, February 07, 2009 | Mel: How many books have we checked out this week?
/ Dewey: I don't know. The catalog's down. / Mel: Our statistics are due today! Can you make an educated guess? / Dewey: A plethora. An abundance. A superfluity. A profusion -
/ Mel: Less educated. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090207 |
| Sunday, February 08, 2009 | The Unshelved Bookclub presents "What I did for love" by Susan Elizabeth Phillips / [[Picture features a camera with an anonymous blonde photographer barely visible behind it. Reflected in the lens, we see Georgie York with her hands hiding her face, weeping.]] / Colleen: Georgie York was America's sweetheart. / Colleen: We watch her grow up on TV in the hit series *Skip & Scooter*. / Colleen: But her life and career aren't what they were. / Colleen: She hasn't had a hit in years, and she's got another flop on the way. / Colleen: Her matinee idol ex-husband left her for the world's sexiest woman, and now she's pregnant with his child. / Colleen: And the press just ambushed Georgie with the news. / Colleen: Georgie heads to Vegas. / Colleen: First Problem: She comes back married to her former co-star. / Colleen: Second problem: it was an accident. / Colleen: Third problem: They hate each other. / Colleen: When they press finds out about the wedding, Georgie decides to stay married for the sake of her image. / [[In the library]]
/ Colleen: She's got to fake being in love with her worst enemy.
/ Patron: It's ripped from today's headlines.
/ Colleen: Not the ones I read. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090208 |
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