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| Monday, February 09, 2009 | Patron: But I really need THIS page!
/ Dewey: You can't rip it out. But you can photocopy it over there. / Patron: That would be terrible quality! Look at this lustrous printing! / Patron: I just love this book SO much!
/ Dewey: Enough to destroy it so no one else can ever read it?
/ Patron: Yes! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090209 |
| Tuesday, February 10, 2009 | Patron: I'm going to tear out this page and you can't stop me!
/ Dewey: I don't know. I'm pretty fast. / Patron: Then I'll back up.
/ Dewey: Now I probably couldn't stop you. / Dewey:...But I can reach the phone to call the police. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090210 |
| Wednesday, February 11, 2009 | Patron: You'd call the police?
/ Dewey: For flagarantly damaging public property? Sure. / Another Patron: This book fell into my shredder. Here's my fine. / Patron: I'd like to check this out.
/ Dewey: Remember to blame your imaginary boyfriend.//Or your ceiling fan. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090211 |
| Thursday, February 12, 2009 | Dewey: Bunny slippers?
/ Tamara: After the inauguration I felt like I could do ANYTHING! / Dewey: And those were the best you could come up with?
/ Tamara: Nope, I did one better. / Tamara: [[holding up T-shirt]] You can't spell "unironic" without "unicorn"! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090212 |
| Friday, February 13, 2009 | Tamara: You should wear something to show how hopeful you are!
/ Dewey: I am. / Tamara: You're wearing a plain T-shirt and slacks.
/ Dewey: I always wear a plain T-shirt and slacks! / Tamara: How does that express hope?
/ Dewey: I'm hopeful we won't establish a professional dress code. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090213 |
| Saturday, February 14, 2009 | Dewey [[dressed as Wolverine]]: I'm the best there is at what I do.
/ Mel: It's time to review your job description. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090214 |
| Sunday, February 15, 2009 | The Unshelved Bookclub Presents: "The Walls of the Universe" by Paul Melko / [[Starry night in a pumpkin patch. A bewildered John Rayburn faces a confident John Prime, who has the world travel device strapped to his chest. They are separated by the words of the title.]] / Dewey: [[Head placed like a pumpkin in the lower right corner]]: John Rayburn was pretty surprised when another John Rayburn (John Prime) showed up in his parents pumpkin patch. / Dewey: But then he learned about the device that allowed travel between worlds. / Dewey: He gave it a try, only to discover that the trip was one-way. Now he's stuck marching forward through parallel worlds, trying to find a way back home. / Dewey: Meanwhile his old life has been taken over by John Prime, who plans to use his knowledge of other universes to get rich by "inventing" the Rubik's cube. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090215 |
| Monday, February 16, 2009 | [[At the ref desk]]
/ Woman: Do you have a scanner I can use.
/ Dewey: No. / Woman: It's not like they're particularly expensive.
/ Dewey: It's not a budget problem. / Woman: Then why--?
/ Mel: [[speaking to Dewey, carrying a piece of paper with a big X on it]]: I'm rejecting your request for a C.D. Player. The library can't commit to unproven technology. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090216 |
| Tuesday, February 17, 2009 | Female Patron: You didn't have a scanner so I bought you one!
/ Dewey: Thanks. / Female Patron: No you have a scanner I can use!
/ Dewey: No, I'm afraid we don't. / Female Patron: IT'S RIGHT NEXT TO THE COMPUTER!
/ Dewey: So near and yet so far. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090217 |
| Wednesday, February 18, 2009 | Female Patron [[angry face, eyebrows lowered]]: Just hook up this scanner so I can use it!
/ Dewey: It's not that simple. / Female Patron [[holding up bag with mentioned items]]: Yes it is! It comes with cables and software!
/ Dewey [[pointing at patron]]: All our computers are locked down to protect them from people like you. / Female Patron [[sad/dejected, shoulders slumped, head lowered]]: You can't help me, can you?
/ Dewey: I've told you that a few times already. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090218 |
| Thursday, February 19, 2009 | Female Patron: What's that smell?
/ [[Female Patron is holding computer cords. Computer with stink lines wafting up sits between Female Patron and Dewey standing with arms crossed.]]
/ Dewey: Defense Mechanism. It's how the network wards off predators. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090219 |
| Friday, February 20, 2009 | [[At the ref desk]]
/ Comment offscreen: Why did the screen go blank?
/ Comment offscreen: It won't let me type!
/ Comment offscreen: All my files were deleted. / Patron: [[just tried to install a scanner in the library's network; the scanner and its cord are smoking and she looks singed]]: It said "Plug and play"
/ Dewey: [[Holding a handheld video game]]: Well I've got a high score brewing here. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090220 |
| Saturday, February 21, 2009 | Mel: On the one hand you clearly violated library policy / Mel: On the other hand you went the extra mile in the name of customer service. / Colleen: Plus he brought down the entire network.
/ Dewey: [[Leaving]] Too late, she's out of hands! http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090221 |
| Sunday, February 22, 2009 | The Unshelved Bookclub Presents "My Father's Paradise" by Ariel Sabar / [[Photo-booth style picture of a father and son. dad has huge glasses with Coke-bottle lenses. Both have wild brown hair.]] / Dewey: Ariel Sabar never had a good relationship with his father.
/ He was a product of Los Angeles, and his father was an odd embarrassment from a world that no longer existed.
/ But after his son was born, Ariel decided to repair that relationship.
/ As a journalist, he started by investigating his father's life.
/ Yona Sabar, a Kurdish Jew, was born in Zakho, a small, isolated town in Northern Iraq.
/ He grew up speaking a dialect of Aramaic, the lingua franca of Christ's time.
/ Jes, Christians, and Muslims lived there together until the 1950s, when Iraqi Jews were forced to emigrate to israel.
/ Yona's family suddenly found themselves at the bottom of the social ladder in a modern society.
/ But Yona worked and studied hard, and his knowledge of Aramaic led to a career as a prestigious professor in the U.S.
/ Together Ariel and his father return to Iraq in search of his past and the family he left behind. / [[In the library]]
/ merv: I tried investigating *my* father's life once.
/ Dewey: Still haven't cracked his passoword? [sic]
/ Merv: It's infuriating. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090222 |
| Monday, February 23, 2009 | Computer Victim: Where are the books on tape?
/ Dewey: Huh. / Computer Victim: What?
/ Dewey: Sorry. I just didn't know anyone still used "tape". / Computer Victim: Fine. Where are the books on CD?
/ Dewey: Huh. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090223 |
| Tuesday, February 24, 2009 | Angry Lady: Dont just *stand* there. *Answer me!*
/ Dewey: Listening diffuses *most* situations.
/ Angry Lady: I want to talk to your boss' boss' boss!
/ Dewey: ...But it looks like you're the exception. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090224 |
| Wednesday, February 25, 2009 | Dewey: I understand why you want this book off the shelf.
/ Woman: So you admit it's smut! / Dewey: I'm not allowed to do that.
/ Woman: But you admit that if you could speak your mind, you'd admit it's smut! / Dewey: No, I'd call you a crank. But I'm not allowed to do that either. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090225 |
| Thursday, February 26, 2009 | Man [[holding book]]: I simply don't think this belongs in a library.
/ Dewey: This totally belongs in a library. / Man: What idiot bought this?
/ Dewey: I did. / Man: I can see I'm not making much headway.
/ Dewey: Don't get discouraged. You're much more linear than most of our crackpots. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090226 |
| Friday, February 27, 2009 | [[Patron is following Dewey, holding out a book to his retreating back.]]
/ Patron: What am I supposed to do about getting rid of this book?
/ Dewey: [[Walking away]] How about taking the civilized route and writing a letter? / Patron: Would that *Help*?
/ Dewey: [[hiding in the stacks]] No, but you'd be wasting your time politely and with a certain classic charm. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090227 |
| Saturday, February 28, 2009 | Dewey: [[Addressing the book-banning patron]] Soon, you'll get a form letter explaining why you were wrong about that book you hate. / Dewey: It's written really well. You'll come to feel that you were part of a crucial review process. / Patron: I don't think I want to be manipulated to that degree.
/ Dewey: [[offering a book]] Then I recommend starting all over again.
/ Here, I never liked this one. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090228 |
| Sunday, March 01, 2009 | The Unshelved Book Club Presents: The True Meaning of Smev Day by Adam Rex. / [[Black and white image of a rather bleak landscape featuring signs (and even a water tower) showing the book's title) with a single shadow visible on the ground. The hovercraft, with Pig peering out the back window, hovers above the scene.]] / Dewey: The Boov have taken over the earth, renamed it Smekland, apologized for the inconvenience and abducted her mother,
/ Now everyone is supposed to relocate to Florida via Rocketpod.
/ But 12-year-old Gratuity "Tip" Tucci decides to nail cans of corn to her church shoes and drive there with her cat, Pig.
/ The highways have been destroyed and a Boov starts shooting when she can't stop the car, but then she meets a friendly alien.
/ His name is J.LO.
/ He fixes her car into a hovercfraft, tries to teach her to read the floating bubbles that are Boov writing, and gets along with Pig (cats love the Boov).
/ Unfortunately, he's made a huge mistake.
/ They not only need to find her mother and keep J.LO hidden from humans and Boov alike,
/ They also need to stop the Gorg. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090301 |
| Monday, March 02, 2009 | {{The Economic Crisis hits Mallville}}
/ Mel: We're circulating a record number of books! / Mel: The community has finally discovered us! / Mel: All my dreams have come true!
/ Dewey: It's the economy. You're celebrating the recession.
/ Buddy: We're out of books. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090302 |
| Tuesday, March 03, 2009 | {{The Economic Crisis hits Mallville}}
/ Patron: Nothing I want is on the shelf.
/ Dewey: Amen brother. / Patron: The stacks are practically empty.
/ Dewey: I'm picking up what you're putting down. / Patron: Your empathy is increasing my frustration.
/ Dewey: I will now begin silent listening. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090303 |
| Wednesday, March 04, 2009 | {{The Economic Crisis comes to Mallville}} / [[In the foreground, Ned and other patrons occupy the computer terminals. In the backgound an elderly patron approaches Dewey at the ref desk.]] / Patron: There isn't any room to sit!
/ Dewey: Yes, we're suddenly and unexpectedly very popular. / Patron: Do I take a number?
/ Dewey: No, but you'll always be number one with me. / Patron: Should I line up?
/ Dewey: Try lurking. Lunge when a good spot opens up. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090304 |
| Thursday, March 05, 2009 | Buddy: [[Carrying a stack of books.]] Too many books are circulating! I can't keep up.
/ Mel: Don't worry. WE always find a way to adapt! / [[Mel stands, arms crossed, in front of a pile labeled "take one", while Dewey and Buddy play poker in the background.]]
/ Mel: This wasn't what I had in mind.
/ Dewey: It never is. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090305 |
| Friday, March 06, 2009 | Patron: I hear you're facing a crisis.
/ Dewey: The anti-monitor is coming and the multiverse is doomed. / Patron: I don't know what you mean, but I think you'll be happy to see these! [[hands Dewey box of books]] / Dewey: [[holding up dripping book]] I told you last month - we don't WANT these!
/ Patron: Beggars can't be choosers, dear. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090306 |
| Saturday, March 07, 2009 | Mel: The county is contemplating changing our title to "information liaisons".
/ Colleen: Are they trying to cut our pay?
/ Tamara: Can mine be "storyteller"? Or "facilitator of delight and wonder"?
/ Dewey: Dibs on "guy who gives good directions to the bathroom".
/ Bucky: I still don't understand why you need a degree for that. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090307 |
| Sunday, March 08, 2009 | The Unshelved Bookclub presents: Superspy by matt kindt
/ {{Dewey's voice is overlaid over a comic strip, drawn by Matt Kinot, used by permission}}
/ Dewey: This series of interconnected anecdotes focuses on the everyday lives of unlikely spies in World War II.
/ They use laundry, dead drops, murder, wine labels, tattoos, codes and corpses to try to save their countries or, sometimes, just their families.
/ Most of their days are ordinary, but they are forced to examine life's randomness with suspicion --
/ -- And often, they are not suspicious enough.
/ {{In the background, the following comic strip}}
/ Woman: Just the sniffles.
/ Baby: Ah!
/ [[Man stands with his hand in his hair]] / [[Man kisses the baby]]
/ < http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090308 |
| Monday, March 09, 2009 | Patron: I need help with tweeting.
/ Colleen: Birdcalls, aisle five. / Patron: I'm talking about Twitter.
/ Colleen: You're not making any sense. This must be about the Internet. / Patron: I want followers!
/ Colleen: Try walking out the door. With luck, someone will go with you. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090309 |
| Tuesday, March 10, 2009 | Male Patron: I've been on Twitter for a year and the only person who reads me is my mom!
/ Dewy: A cult of personality requires personality. http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20090310 |
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