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Friday, April 10, 2009 [[Mel and Dewey look at a sign that says SAFETY FIRST!]] / Mel: Safety is our new priority. / Dewey: I thought serving patrons was our priority. / Mel: It is. / Dewey: Then isn't it "safety *second*"? / Tamara [[Peaking out from behind Dewey]]: I believe that children are our future! / Colleen: What about books? Aren't *they* a priority? / [[The sign has been modified. "First" has been covered up by a piece of paper, and it now reads "SAFETY PRETTY IMPORTANT!]]
Friday, April 10, 2009 [[Mel and Dewey look at a sign that says SAFETY FIRST!]] / Mel: Safety is our new priority. / Dewey: I thought serving patrons was our priority. / Mel: It is. / Dewey: Then isn't it "safety *second*"? / Tamara [[Peaking out from behind Dewey]]: I believe that children are our future! / Colleen: What about books? Aren't *they* a priority? / [[The sign has been modified. "First" has been covered up by a piece of paper, and it now reads "SAFETY PRETTY IMPORTANT!]]
Saturday, April 11, 2009 [[Dewey leans against the wall, near the SAFETY: PRETTY IMPORTANT! sign. He is reading a book or magazine. Mel confronts him.]] / Mel: Why aren't you at the desk? / Dewey: I might trip on the way there.
Saturday, April 11, 2009 [[Dewey leans against the wall, near the SAFETY: PRETTY IMPORTANT! sign. He is reading a book or magazine. Mel confronts him.]] / Mel: Why aren't you at the desk? / Dewey: I might trip on the way there.
Sunday, April 12, 2009 The Unshelved bookclub presents: Dying Inside by Robert Silverberg / [[A man sits in a chair while thought bubbles filled with fading images surround him. He sees a woman in a bikini, a whole ham and a bottle of wine, money changing hands, a speeding car, and a man poised to punch someone.]] / Dewey: David Selig should be a superhero: he can read minds! / But aside from picking up girls, he's never done very much with his power. / In fact, it's brought him as much misery as pleasure. / As David enters middle age, he is estranged from his sister and the world around him, subsisting by writing term papers for college students. / Then his power, the one thing that made him special, starts to fade. / This is David's life in his own words, growing up intimately connected to all of us, yet uniquely alone. / [[In the library]] / Dewey: I can also read minds. / Mel: Oh yeah? What am I thinking about? / Dewey: Office supplies. / Mel: Too easy. Be more specific. / Dewey: Binder clips. / Mel: What size? / Dewey: Half inch. / Mel: I have a meeting. / Dewey: Line dance class.
Monday, April 13, 2009 [[Colleen stares at a machine, hands on hips.]] / Colleen: A vending machine? Is this a truck stop or a library? / Dewey: Are those our only choices? / Dewey: What about "Internet Cafe"? / "Public Restroom" / "Daycare" / Colleen: A *vending machine*? / Mel: [[Holding up a candy bar]] S'more?
Tuesday, April 14, 2009 Tamara: Our vending machines lead to nonrecyclable waste! / Dewey: She means "Garbage". / Buddy: They're missing my favorite snack! / Dewey: He means "Venison jerky". / Mel: They're here to stay. / Dewey: She means "They'll be gone by the end of week." / Dewey: What, too soon?
 
Wednesday, April 15, 2009 Woman: Your vending machine ate my money / Dewey: I'm not authorized to do that. / Woman: What are you authorized to do? / Dewey: I could waive your fines. / Woman: I don't have any fines. / Dewey:Then I can offer you toilet paper. Or toner.
Thursday, April 16, 2009 Computer Victim: You got *peanut brittle* on my *computer*! / Grandma: You got *computer* on my *peanut brittle*! / [[Grandma walks away looking smug while computer victim looks sheepish]] / Grandma: You're supposed to suggest that we're better together! / Computer victim: You're supposed to close your mouth when chewing.
Friday, April 17, 2009 Bald man: Magazines are lighter / Dewey: [[holding up a book]] But nowhere near a sturdy. / Bald man: How about one of them ebooks? / Dewey: This doesn't need batteries. / Bald man: Maybe a DVD? / Dewey: This is all you're getting. / Next!
Saturday, April 18, 2009 [[Across the top: "What do you worry most about?"]] / Buddy: Are the books in order? / Mel: Staffing the library during a recession. / Colleen: Will my daughter get into a good library school? / Dewey: [[Contemplating videos]] Dark City? Or Prince of Darkness?
Sunday, April 19, 2009 The Unshelved Bookclub Presents: / Mark Siegel gives his precious little review of Scott Pilgrim Volume 5 by Bryan Lee O'Malley. / [[Banner across the top reads: Some people from first second books. Mark Siegel, "Editorial director" ; Calista Brill, Editor ; Colleen Venable, Designer ; Gina Gagliano, Marketing.]] / [[The other day]] / Mark: Important announcement. / Calista: OK / Gina: OK / Mark: "Scott Pilgrim's Precious Little Life" is an astonishing deput graphic novel by Bryan Lee O'Malley!" / Colleen: Actually, he did "Lost At Sea" before that. / Gina: Which was awesome! / Calista: Uh, Mark. That's Scott Pilgrim one. Like five years ago. / Unshelved wants you to review number five maybe? / Mark: [[stares wide-eyed at the book in his hand]] ... / Colleen: I had to wait in line six hours to get my copy on the day it released. / [[Notice: Mark looks hopefully at Colleen, wrinkling up Scott Pilgrim 1 in his hand. <>. / Colleen: I'm not lending you mine. / [[Two days off for reading]] / Calista: Number five is the best Scott Pilgrim yet. / Colleen: The Scott and Ramona story gets darker and even bizarrely poignant. / And Kim Pines and Knives Chau are for the ages. / Gina: You think it's autobiographical? / Colleen: You mean does Hope Larson* have any evil ex-boyfriends? / [[Footnote: *author of the excellent "chiggers" and also married to Bryan Lee O'Malley.]] / Calista: [[Sudden hair change like Ramona Flowers.]] [[Her hair is now in a ponytail, when it was down loose before]]. For dialog, and pacing, hilarious, bizarre and true-to-life moments, there's nothing like Scott Pilgrim out there. / Colleen: I love when Scott stays home and plays games all day on Ramona's cell phone and then denies it. / There are a zillion little touches like that. / And how the fight scenes are in the background and nobody seems to care anymore. / [[Blurb pointing to Colleen's computer: First second work not getting done]] / [[Mark Returns]] / Mark: I'm back and ready to review volume five! I haven't had so much fun reading anything since volume four! / Scott Pilgrim is seriously one of the best comics in the universe. / BRYAN LEE O'MALLEY IS AN AMERICAN TREASURE! / Colleen: He's Canadian. / Mark: What-ever.
 
Monday, April 20, 2009 Dewey: [[Looking at a computer screen]] Look how cheap this house is! / Tamara: I'll take your word for it. / Dewey: It's *incredible*! / Tamara: I'm not really looking. / And *you* own a condo! / Dewey: But one day I'll be ready to buy, and then I'll *know*! / How will *you* know? / Tamara: I'll ask you.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009 Tamara: Are you *still* looking at that house? / Dewey: [[looking at monitor]] They're offering discounted financing! / Tamara: I know that look. You're really *thinking* about this, aren't you? / Dewey: Little bit. / Tamara: How many emails have you exchanged with your mortgage broker? / Dewey: Twenty-three.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009 Tamara: If you buy that house you'll benefit from another's *pain*! / Dewey: [[walking]] Someone's going to. May as well be me. / Tamara: I don't know if I'm comfortable being friends with a parasite! / Buddy: [[Holds out hand]] Can I borrow more money? I forgot my lunch again. / Tamara: Of course!
Thursday, April 23, 2009 [[Comic-strip Dewey and Cathy stand outside a photograph of a real house. Bill has noted in the blog that the house, which is really for sale, belongs to cartoonist Paul Southworth of East Providence, RI]] / Cathy: It's nice and big! / Dewey:Think of how many action figures it would hold! / Cathy: It's a little *too* big.
Friday, April 24, 2009 [[Dewey and girlfriend outside a house]] / Fred: Dewey! / Dewey: Oh, hello Fred. / Fred: I'm so glad you came by. I was just having a computer problem. / Dewey: No, I'm not working, I'm... / [[Dewey peeking inside door]] / Fred: Come in. My overdue books are by the door. / Dewey: This isn't a house call!
 
Saturday, April 25, 2009 {{Dewey is house hunting and has fallen in love. The house is real and belongs to cartoonist Paul Southworth}} / [[Inside the house]] / Paul: I'm thrilled you're buying my house! / Dewey: I'm just looking. / Paul: You're a professional researcher! You must think it's a *bargain*! / Dewey: Well, nobody's made you an offer yet ... / Paul: Oh no, it's overpriced! What should I charge you? Tell me! / Dewey: [[To Kathy]]: This is starting to feel like an abuse of my authority.
Sunday, April 26, 2009 The Unshelved Bookclub Presents: Finding Peace by Tom Waltz and Nathan St. John. / {{footnote states: Illustration copyright Nathan St. John. Used by permission}} / [[Three scenes from Finding Peace: soldiers firing machine guns from atop cars, a screaming person with hands over ears looking at a blood spattered wall, and a group of soldiers advancing into the distance in the background while someone inthe foreground crouches, eyes covered, in hiding.]] / Dewey: A land torn by Civil War. / (We don't know where or when) / (or *why*) / Soldiers, civilians, peacekeepers. / Three stories drawn in haunting charcoal. / Immediate, heartbreaking, and real.
Sunday, April 26, 2009 The Unshelved Bookclub Presents: Finding Peace by Tom Waltz and Nathan St. John. / {{footnote states: Illustration copyright Nathan St. John. Used by permission}} / [[Three scenes from Finding Peace: soldiers firing machine guns from atop cars, a screaming person with hands over ears looking at a blood spattered wall, and a group of soldiers advancing into the distance in the background while someone inthe foreground crouches, eyes covered, in hiding.]] / Dewey: A land torn by Civil War. / (We don't know where or when) / (or *why*) / Soldiers, civilians, peacekeepers. / Three stories drawn in haunting charcoal. / Immediate, heartbreaking, and real.
Monday, April 27, 2009 [[In Mallville Coffee. Dewey is reading.]] / Man: Hey, *I* read that! / [[Dewey keeps reading]] / Woman: That's the *only* book my mother and I agree on! / [[Dewey looks up and frowns]] / [[Kathy sits down with their coffee]] / Kathy: What happened to your book? / Dewey: Too popular.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009 Buddy: I'm supposed to do book repairs. / Dewey: It's not repair, it's camouflage. / Buddy: [from outside panel] Awesome! What kind? Jungle? Desert? / Dewey: Nauseating! / Buddy: I don't think that's an option. / Dewey: [from outside panel] AAAAAAHHH!
Wednesday, April 29, 2009 Tamara: [[pointing to Dewey's book]] That's disgusting! / Dewey: Don't judge a book by its cover. / Tamara: I'm not. I'm judging *you* by its cover. / Dewey: I'm standing up for my right to read whatever I want. / Tamara: And *I'm* standing up and walking away. / Dewey: I knew the limbs floating in the blood would push you over the edge.
 
Thursday, April 30, 2009 [[At Mallville Coffee]] / Woman: What are you reading now? / Dewey: Something I found in the library! / Woman: [[Takes book and examines cover]] But that... that's *awful*! / Dewey: Let me read the best part to you! / Kathy: [[Arrives with their drinks]] What's the best part? / Dewey: The son's tearful reunion with his Dad. / Not that *she'll* ever know.
Friday, May 01, 2009 Cathy: Congratulations. You emptied out the entire cafe with that awful book cover you made. / Dewey: When you're an Intellectual Freedom Fighter you learn to accept collateral damage.
Saturday, May 02, 2009 Buddy: You're RE-recovering that book? / Dewey: Mission accomplished! / Buddy: Wow! What was the mission? / Dewey: To get people to leave me alone when I read. / Buddy: I'll never understand your job. / Dewey: Well I do have a master's degree.
Sunday, May 03, 2009 The Unshelved Bookclub presents: Harriet the Spy by Louise Fitzhugh. / {{Guest strip copyright Jimmy Gownley www.ameliarules.com}} / [[Amelia stands back to back with Harriet. a hand pointing to harriet reads Harriet spies! A hand pointng to Amelia reads Amelia rules!]] / Amelia: Hi! I'm Amelia McBride, and I'm here to talk about the greatest book ever written*... / Harriet the Spy by Louise Fitzhugh. / [[footnote reads: As chosen by the "Amelia McBride Society for Good Books" Amelia McBride President]] / [[Reggie sits reading Harriet]] / Amelia: This amazing novel was groundbreaking when it came out in 1964... / and, since it's filled with passages like these... / ...Pinky whitehead's whole problem is his mother... does she hate him? If I had him I'd hate him. / Amelia: It can still produce results like this... [[Reggie's head flips off]] << Flip!>> / Amelia: Lots of adults really hated it when it was published. / It's even been banned in some places. / Which means you KNOW it's good! / [[Picture of the book's cover]] / Seriously though, it's funny, and honest, and treats kids with respect. / Amelia: World renowned cartoonist Jimmy Gownley read it when he was a kid, and not only did it help him through a rough patch, it in some ways inspired him to become the INSIGHTFUL, BRILLIANT writer he is today. / You should probably know he paid me $5.00 to say that. / Amelia: [[Above a picture of Harriet, with her notebook]] Anyway ... Harriet has been on her spy route for 45 years, and I bet kids will still want to spy with her for 45 more.
Monday, May 04, 2009 Man: [[to Dewey]] I need help with my resume. / [[Dewey examines his resume with a frown]] / Man: I'm looking for tips on making it more *presentable*. / Dewey: [[handing it back]] Sharpen your crayon. / Man: Do you think hot magenta was a good choice?
Monday, May 04, 2009 [[A guy with a ponytail at the help desk talks to Dewey]] / Guy: I need help with my resume. / Guy: I am looking for tips on making it more presentable. / Dewey: Sharpen your crayon. / Guy: Do you think Magenta was a good choice?
 
Tuesday, May 05, 2009 [[Dewey is working the reference desk. A woman steps up with a sheet of paper in hand.]] / Woman: I forgot my glasses. Will you fill out this job application for me. / [[Dewey is looking down completing out the form.]] / Dewey: "Reason for leaving previous position?" / Woman: Homicidal Rage / [[Dewey pauses and looks up at the woman]] / Dewey: Excuse me? / Woman: Went after a co-worker with a spork. Too much detail?
Tuesday, May 05, 2009 [[Dewey is working the reference desk. A woman steps up with a sheet of paper in hand.]] / Woman: I forgot my glasses. Will you fill out this job application for me. / [[Dewey is looking down completing out the form.]] / Dewey: "Reason for leaving previous position?" / Woman: Homicidal Rage / [[Dewey pauses and looks up at the woman]] / Dewey: Excuse me? / Woman: Went after a co-worker with a spork. Too much detail?
Wednesday, May 06, 2009 Man: I'm looking for jobs. / But not the one everyone *else* hears about. / Man: Not in the paper. / Not on the internet. / Not on joblines. / No word of mouth. / You know, the *other* ones. / The *good* ones. / Dewey: I'll just go get that file out of the vault. / Man: Be quick! I parked in front of a hydrant.
Thursday, May 07, 2009 Mel: Thanks to the recession we're spending more time helping with job searches. / Mel: So I bought this resume software. It automates everything! / Mel: You're skeptical. / Dewey: How can you tell? / Mel: You're awake.
Friday, May 08, 2009 [[A woman is seated at a computer. Dewey is standing behind her with his arms crossed.]] / Woman: I can't figure out this resume software. / Dewey: "Type your name" seems pretty intuitive . . . / [[Dewey points at the screen]] / Woman: I thought so too. / Dewey: Wait, why did it REJECT that? / [[Dewey is seated at the computer and gesturing angrily. The woman is standing behind him with her arms crossed.]] / Dewey: "Don't not click now"? / Dewey: People don't HAVE UPC codes! / Woman: I feel validated. But I still need a resume.
Friday, May 08, 2009 [[A woman is seated at a computer. Dewey is standing behind her with his arms crossed.]] / Woman: I can't figure out this resume software. / Dewey: "Type your name" seems pretty intuitive . . . / [[Dewey points at the screen]] / Woman: I thought so too. / Dewey: Wait, why did it REJECT that? / [[Dewey is seated at the computer and gesturing angrily. The woman is standing behind him with her arms crossed.]] / Dewey: "Don't not click now"? / Dewey: People don't HAVE UPC codes! / Woman: I feel validated. But I still need a resume.
Friday, May 08, 2009 [[A woman is seated at a computer. Dewey is standing behind her with his arms crossed.]] / Woman: I can't figure out this resume software. / Dewey: "Type your name" seems pretty intuitive . . . / [[Dewey points at the screen]] / Woman: I thought so too. / Dewey: Wait, why did it REJECT that? / [[Dewey is seated at the computer and gesturing angrily. The woman is standing behind him with her arms crossed.]] / Dewey: "Don't not click now"? / Dewey: People don't HAVE UPC codes! / Woman: I feel validated. But I still need a resume.
Saturday, May 09, 2009 Mel: Why aren't you directing people to the new resume software? / Dewey: Because I value my time. / And sanity. / Mel: But it doesn't require any staff time! / Dewey: In theory. / Mel: There's no difference between theory and practice! / Dewey: That's your epitaph right there.
 

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