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Sunday, May 10, 2009 {{Unshelved Book Club}} / [[A basketball player in mid-jump, ball in contact with one hand which is high in the air, #42 on his jersey]] / A sense of where you are / by John McPhee / Dewey: Bill Bradley, an only child from Crystal City, MO, learned to play basketball because he could play by himself, but it was also a way to connect with other kids. / Bradley had some talent, but his secret was self-discipline. / He practiced for hours a day, always pushing himself to be the best player he could be. / He was fast. Precise. Accurate. There was nothing missing from his skill set. / He worked hard on defense even when his team had already won. / He made shots from all over the court, often from considerable distances, and could sink shots without seeing the basket because he had developed a sense of where he was on the court. / He broke scoring records, and could have scored more, but he preferred to pass to his teammates. / He played for Princeton, and became the best player in the Ivy League. / In the 1965 NCAA tournament, with five minutes of his college career left, he finally took everyone's advice and just shot the ball, setting 7 NCAA records. / Back in Princeton, he apologized to the crowd. / He was drowned out by applause. / Mel: I hope you were inspired. / Dewey: Absolutely. I resolve to read more books about people with self-discipline.
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Monday, May 11, 2009 [[At the ref desk. Dewey is dancing to his i-pod, earbuds in place.]] / Merv: What are you listening to? / Dewey: The new U2 album. It's excellent! / Merv: Who's "U2"? / Sanjay: What's an "album"? / [[Dewey frowns]] / [[Sanjay and Merv have left the ref desk.]] / Sanjay: I think he bought it. / Merv: He's got money and power, but age is the great equalizer.
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Tuesday, May 12, 2009 Angry woman: This book is not "new". / Dewey: It's slightly used. But perfectly serviceable. / Angry woman: It was on your "new books" shelf. / Dewey: Those are new to the *library*. / Angry woman: Then you need more precise labels! / Dewey: Like many organizations, we find that *imprecision* makes for better marketing.
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Wednesday, May 13, 2009 Woman: I'm hoping you're the best librarian here. / Dewey: It's lunch. I'm the *only* librarian here. / Woman: Then I guess you're the best. / Dewey: Also the worst. / Woman: And the *tallest*! And the *shortest*! / Dewey: Was there an actual question? / Woman: And the *oldest*! And the *youngest*!
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Thursday, May 14, 2009 [[A little girl is holding a book out to Tamara while her father looks on.]] / Tamara: Sorry, honey, I can't read that to you right now. / Father: Then I guess I'LL do it. / [[Tamara looks at the girl's father.]] / Tamara: You don't seem too HAPPY about it. / Father: I've got places to be. But I promised her a story. / [[The girl is seated on her father's lap looking unhappy. Tamara points at the book.]] / Father: Let's get this over with. / Tamara: On second thought, I DO have time.
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Thursday, May 14, 2009 [[A little girl is holding a book out to Tamara while her father looks on.]] / Tamara: Sorry, honey, I can't read that to you right now. / Father: Then I guess I'LL do it. / [[Tamara looks at the girl's father.]] / Tamara: You don't seem too HAPPY about it. / Father: I've got places to be. But I promised her a story. / [[The girl is seated on her father's lap looking unhappy. Tamara points at the book.]] / Father: Let's get this over with. / Tamara: On second thought, I DO have time.
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Friday, May 15, 2009 Computer victim: I emailed you a reference question. / Dewey: We'll respond within 24 hours. / Computer victim: It said responses would be "prompt". / Dewey: Next day *is* prompt. / Computer victim: I changed my mind. I want to ask in person. / Dewey: No double booking.
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Saturday, May 16, 2009 [[A boy has spilled his drink on a book]] / Mom: It's OK [[Boy is crying]] / Dewey: It's Okay assuming your allowance will pay to replace that book. / Mom: That's not the most helpful thing you could say. / Dewey: What would help more? / Mom: Display generosity of spirit! / Dewey: I'll include paper towels with a list of your fines.
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Sunday, May 17, 2009 The Unshelved Bookclub presents: The Enthusiast by Charlie Haas / Dewey: Henry first tried a kite buggy in an empty parking lot. / It was empty because the company was defrauded by executives putting his father out of work. / Henry was pretty mad. / He tried pre-law, dreaming of taking down the bad guys. / But interning for a lawyer wasn't what he expected. / So he dropped out and became asswociate editor of *Kite Buggy* magazine instead. / The next thing he knew he was helping out its sister periodical *Crochet Life*. / Then *Ultra Running*. / Before he knew it Henry was the go to guy for every specialist magazine in America from *Rock Hunter* to *Cozy, The Magazine of Tea*. / Through the eyes of these enthusiasts Henry learns about the world. / But it will take a tragedy to help him discover what *he's* enthusiastic about. / Merv: I hope you're not implying that the editors of *Skateboard Low-Rider* are anything but dedicated to the sport.
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Monday, May 18, 2009 Woman: [[Holding a book out to Dewey]] This is unclean. / Dewey: Okay. / Woman: No it's not okay. It's *filthy*! / Dewey: The library serves a wide variety of patrons. / Woman: There is actual *dirt* on this book. / Dewey: Oh hey, yeah, that thing's a mess.
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Tuesday, May 19, 2009 Tamara: After you handle the book, wash your hands with soap and water. / Tamara: Make sure you lather for at least thirty seconds. / Woman: Any other advice? / Tamara: Avoid meat. It's full of germs and bad Karma. / Dewey: Must helpfulness always turn to propaganda?
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Wednesday, May 20, 2009 Library Tip #58 : Judge a Book By Its Cover / John Smith:This doesn't look good. / Dewey: It's not. / John Smith: You read it? / Dewey: Of course not. / John Smith: Any suggestions? / Dewey: Reshelve it and back away slowly.
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Thursday, May 21, 2009 Library tip #59 : You can't teach an old computer new tricks / Man: I'm going to edit some video [[points to camcorder in his hand]] / Dewey: [[looks at computer]] Not on *that* relic. / Man: Where can I find something newer. / Dewey: Computer store. / Man: Will this at least do red eye? / Dewey: Only if you stare at it long enough
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Friday, May 22, 2009 Mel: Ready? / Dewey: I was born ready...after that everything went downhill.
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Saturday, May 23, 2009 Computer victim: The shift key is sticking. / Dewey: There are two / Computer victim: But I can only type half as fast. / Dewey: Guinness will be *so* disappointed.
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Sunday, May 24, 2009 [[Girl sits reading on sofa, brother looking over her shoulder]] / Boy: What'cha reading? / Girl: "From The Mixed-Up Files Of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler" by E.L. Konigsberg. It won the Newberry Medal. / Boy: For what, longest title? / Girl: For being awesome. It's about this girl Claudia who runs away with her brother to the Metropolitan Museum of Art. / Boy: I'm listening. / [[Imagined pictures of the boy and his sister doing the things she is describing]] / Girl: They get to sleep on big, fluffy antique beds... / Girl: ...take baths in the fountain... / Girl: ...and discover a mystery about a statue of a beautiful angel. / [[Boy shakes his piggy-bank]] / Boy: We should totally do that. How far do you think a dollar sixty-four, two stickers, and a slightly-chewed piece of gum will get us? / Mother: All the way to a grounding. / Girl: Maybe you should just read the book.
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Monday, May 25, 2009 Tamara: [[looks at a piece of paper]] Jury duty! / Dewey: I feel like I won the *anti-lottery*. / Tamara: You get to do your civic duty! / Dewey: I wonder how much coffee I can bring into a courtroom. / Tamara: [[Clasped hands]] You want to be alert to ensure justice is done! / Dewey: I want to avoid being thrown into jail for *napping*. / I'm thinking hydration pack. / Plus a hip flask for emergencies.
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Tuesday, May 26, 2009 Tamara: You don't know how lucky you are! / Dewey: You've never gotten jury duty? / Tamara: Every year. / And every year I tell the judge I love everybody equally. / And every year she excuses me against my will. / Dewey: I wonder if that would work for me! / Tamara: Probably not. You'll be under oath.
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Wednesday, May 27, 2009 [[At the courthouse: partially visible sign out front reads Mallville Courthouse and Drive-thro {{ugh is cut off}} Pet Shampoo]] / Dewey: [[Speech bubble appears above the building]] I'm reporting for Jury Duty. / [[Inside]] / Clerk: I'll alert the media. / Clerk: All the electrical outlets are taken, the comfortable chairs are occupied, and the coffee machine is broken. / Dewey: I feel strangely at home here.
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Thursday, May 28, 2009 Off-panel voice: Juror 18, you're a librarian? / Dewey: No, I thought it was a good idea to lie under oath. / Off-panel voice: So you're not a librarian? / Dewey: No, I am. Just injecting a little levity. / Off-panel voice: You answer questions all day for a living? / Dewey: Yes. / Off-panel voice: Then why are you so bad at it? / Dewey: Finally, some irony.
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Friday, May 29, 2009 Mel: You're back from jury duty already? / Dewey: Only to tell you I'll be sequestered for a lengthy trial. I may not return to work for several weeks. / Mel: They kicked you out, huh? / Dewey: [[studies fingernails]] I set a new record. / Dewey: [[makes quotation marks with fingers]] I guess they don't like "funny". / Mel: That's hard to imagine.
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Saturday, May 30, 2009 [[Randy addresses various patrons]] / Randy: I've got all the information you need right here. / Randy: I'd ban *your* books. / Randy: You can volunteer at *my* library any time! / Mel: What do you do at harassment training, anyway. / Randy: Hit on my classmates. They're bored, and they're not allowed to leave.
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Sunday, May 31, 2009 The Unshelved bookclub presents: The Problem With the Puddles written by Kate Feiffer, illustrated by Tricia Tusa. / [[Colleen is reading to Doreen, who is drawing while they talk.]] / Colleen: The Puddles are stuck in the country because of strangely shaped rain clouds. / What do they call their daughter? They can't agree. / Doreen: Usually people call her "baby". But her Mom calls her "Emily" and her Dad calls her "Fernanda". / Colleen: Their dogs have the same name. / Doreen: But they couldn't agree on what kind of dog to get. / Colleen: When they try to go back to the city, their dogs get left behind. / Doreen: Little Sally had to ride on big Sally. They walk a lot. / Colleen: And then the secret catcher helps the dogs. / Doreen: Little Sally wouldn't go swimming. Big Sally taughter her to dog paddle. / The Puddles car broke. They need to get the dogs. / Colleen: Frankolin is the guy who helps the family. He hasn't talked to his son for a long time. / Doreen: And Frankolin's house was messy. And he thinks the Pubddles are dancers. / Then there's a king which is his dog. They call him "The King". / Colleen: Ready to read another book? / [[Actual conversation between Gene Ambaum & BB, age 7; drawings by BB] / [[Two characters stand in raindrops. They are identified in Doreen's (BB's) printing as Mr. Puddle and Ms. Puddle.]] / Caption: The milk is stinky! I'll tell you how he makes it. / [[Two dogs, one on either side of presumably a skunk with question marks over their heads. They are identified as Big Sally and Little Sally]] / Caption: And then some guy gets stunk! / [[A taller character identified as poliece in a ballcap with a P stands beside a smaller character identified as Bayby.]] / Caption: In the book we have to fill in the blanks.
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Monday, June 01, 2009 Woman: [[points to back]] Do you have a lumbar cushion? / Dewey: No. / Woman: What can you offer me? / Dewey: A wooden chair with a missing leg, or a stained stool of questionable origin. / Woman: How would those help my back? / Dewey: I'm just trying to get you off mine.
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Tuesday, June 02, 2009 Man: Is that enough personal information? / Dewey: Some might say too much. / Man: I wanted to ensure you had everything you needed. / Dewey: You're just getting a *library card*. / Man: So the part about my night sweats was ...? / Dewey: ... something I'm trying hard to forget.
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Wednesday, June 03, 2009 Library Tip #60: Just say "no" / [[Library patron standing in line behind Merv, who has a large stack of items to be checked out.]] / Merv: [[turning to library patron]] I forgot my library card. Can I borrow yours? / [[Ned is sitting, library patron is standing]] / Ned: I was just about to leave. You can have my seat! / [[Library patron is seated at a computer next to an elderly library patron at another computer.]] / Elderly patron: Can you help me with my resume?
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Thursday, June 04, 2009 [[Dewey is carrying a box of VHS tapes]] / Kathy: Isn't VHS a dying format? / Dewey: That's why these were on sale! / Kathy: What about picture quality? / Dewey: A certain class of movie is best watched in lo-fi. / Kathy: Is this because I mocked you for wanting a Blu-Ray player? / Dewey: No need to make plans this weekend. I've got a film festival in a box!
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Friday, June 05, 2009 Tamara: That doesn't look fiscally responsible. / Dewey: [[Opening a box]] It's the Mighty Muggs Biggs Darklighter figure! / Dewey: [[Holding up the action figure]] I'm jumpstarting the economy. And investing in the future. / Dewey: Plus he looked so forlorn up there on the shelf. / Tamara: He does have puppydog eyes under his helmet.
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Saturday, June 06, 2009 Patron [[smiling proudly and holding up a heavily-patched book]: I repaired this! / Dewey: No, you bought it.
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Sunday, June 07, 2009 [[Panel text (c) 2009 Mark Schultz. Panel illustrations (c) 2009 Zander Cannon & Kevin Cannon. Used by Permission]] / The Unshelved bookclub presents: / Dewey: Bloort 183 is an alien scientist sent to observe Earth. / It's not just idle curiosity. His people, the Squinch, have a looming genetic problem. / His mission: Find out why we're thriving and they aren't. / [[Panel shows one-eyed flower-like alien with another, rather robotic looking alien contraption beside him]] / Bloort 183: The human organisms have learned *amazing* things about their genetic legacy and are on the verge of creating a revolution in genetic health for themselves. / There is much we can borrow from them. / Dewey: He reports on everything from the mechanics of DNA... / [[A string of nucleotides with human-looking linked arms above the text]] / Bloort 183: Son, in DNA, a strong bond is created within nucleotides as pairs of complementary bases hook up. At the same time, sugars and phosphates bond, which causes all the nucleotides themselves to hook up. All of which makes for a very stable, very durable macromolocule! / Dewey: ...to the history of human research into genes... / [[Father Mendel examines his peas]] / Bloort 183: Using the scientific method and controlled experiments, Mendel observed generations of carefully cultivated pea plants and from them determined the laws of inheritance. / He founded the science of genetics, although it would be decades before his breakthroughs were properly recognized. / Dewey: ... to the politics of genetic experimentation. / Bloort 183: Many humans are understandably nervous about the potential dangers genetically modified organisms may present. / But that nervousness is nothing compared to the swamp of fear and ethical controversy swirling around another aspect of genetic engineering ... / ...*CLONING TECHNOLOGY*! / [[A man with hands on the sides of his face like in a 50's sci-fi poster screams "CLONES!!" while a sea of identical blank faces fills in the space behind him]] / Dewey: It's a rip-roaring illustrated tour through.. / The Stuff of Life / a graphic guide to genetics and DNA / written by Mark Schultz / illustrated by Zander Cannon & Kevin Cannon. / Dewey:
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Monday, June 08, 2009 Man: I need a new career. / Mel: We have lots of resources that can help you! / Mel: There are books, databases that offer career guidance, and some great websites. / But my first recommendation is actually a local agency that helps people just like you! / [[The man hangs his head.]] / Mel: Is there a problem? / Man: That's where I work.
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