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| Circumvent | [Jeffrey and Joanna are inside. Jeffrey is shirtless and wearing what looks like a do-rag]
/ Jeffrey: Joanna, what do you think would happen if we like drilled a hole all the way through Earth and jumped into it?
/ Joanna [thinking]: Pain. Death.
/ Jeffrey: Come on, let's give it a shot. / [Jeffrey is speaking with a man in a construction uniform in front of a giant machine]
/ Caption: THE VERY NEXT DAY
/ Man: This machine'll burn a hole alls the way through the planet, but don't fall in 'cause gravity'll crush yous to death before yous burns to death.
/ Jeffrey: Oh. Okay thanks. / [The earth from orbit] / [A giant beam of energy shoots out of the earth] / [Jeffrey and Joanna, wearing heavy protective purple suits, are jumping into a hole in the ground]
/ Jeffrey: These crush-proof heat suits will keep us safe from harm!
/ Joanna [thinking]: No wait / [They fall through many rock strata]
/ Jeffrey: Geronimo! / [They continue to fall] / [Everything is pitch black]
/ Jeffrey: Are we slowing down? / Caption: TO BE CONTINUED AFTER I FEEL BETTER http://overcompensating.com/posts/20061204.html |
| My Own Prison | I can't come to the office today, Tallahassee. I'm still all sick from falling through the Earth. Tell everyone it sounds like I'm not gonna make it.
/ Okay. / Joanna, what's really wrong with me is an existential crisis! I am one of six billion selfish, horny, sanctimonious monkeys that have figured out how to destroy their planet with the push of a button but can't muster the decency to feed their own children. / Jeffrey, it may alleviate your ennui to know that Earth is the only planet in the Universe that currently supports a selfconscious life form that behaves in such a reprehensible manner.
/ It does, Joanna. http://overcompensating.com/posts/20061207.html |
| Serious Issues | Baby: 50 Cent disapproves of Oprah's lifestyle!
/ Tallahassee: In 50 years all fish will be extinct!
/ Weedmaster P: They got gnarly waterslides on Mars
/ Poopmonster: My comic's gonna be in the papers!
/ Jeffrey: Why couldn't I see Britney's vagina back when I wanted to? / Jeffrey: Let's pick one awful current event and deal with it. Global warming. It sucks. Let's stop it.
/ Weedmaster P: Only a damn fool thinks we can stop global warming it's too late for us / Jeffrey: We need a hero. I'm holding out for a hero till the end of the night. / Narrator: Soon
/ Jeffrey: C'mon, Gynostryker! You're a superhero! Can't *you* help me stop global warming?
/ Gynostryker: What do you want me to do, Jeffrey? Lasso George Bush's nuts and slam him against a wall until he changes his environmental policy? / Jeffrey: Yes! That would be perfect! http://overcompensating.com/posts/20061209.html |
| Jeffrey Hates Christmas | Tallahassee: What are you guys gettin' Jeffrey for Christmas? He does so much for us and asks so little in return.
/ Weedmaster P: Man don't get him nothin' That son of a bitch hates x-mas like Diddy hates not bein on a yacht
/ Baby: Oh no... X-mas... / Weedmaster P: Tallahassee you still new but it is a rule that you don't even *say* "Christmas" around Jeffrey
/ Weedmaster P: Word is he got molested by a santa
/ Tallahassee: How could someone hate Christmas? It's *WICKED MAGICAL!* / Narrator: Right then...
/ Jeffrey: Everybody is gonna pay this year, Joanna. We'll make them wish Jesus had never been *born*. http://overcompensating.com/posts/20061212.html |
| Christmas Killed My Girlfriend | [[topatoco HQ. Baby & Weedmaster P are at computers.]]
/ {{Baby and Tallahassee's tiara's are from Tallahassee initial installment. Baby insisted that if Tallahassee got to wear a tiara, then she did too. they are rarely seen.}}
/ Jeffrey: [[angry look on face]] How are the orders for X-mas coming along, everyone?
/ Weedmaster P: {{weedmaster P normally speaks in all caps & no puncuation}} A MAN JUST TOLD ME THAT IF HE DOESN'T GET HIS T-SHIRT BY X-MAS EVE HE WILL CUT MY THROAT
/ Baby: I only got called "stupid" five times! / Tallahassee: Jeffrey, you shouldn't hate christmas. Hating christmas is wicked cliche.
/ {{Tallahassee is from the part of the country where "wicked" is an adjective that is used most often}}
/ Jeffrey: [[angry face]] I got my own beef with X-mas, Tallahassee. You wouldn't understand. / Jeffrey: I'm leaving now and I'm not coming back until X-mas day, but I will continue to update my comics and I have you all under surveillance.
/ Weedmaster P: GOD HATES YOU http://overcompensating.com/posts/20061214.html |
| Christmas Killed My Girlfriend | [[warehouse]]
/ Weedmaster P: YOU KNOW WHEN SOME PERSON SAYS A HILARIOUS THING AND THEN SOME DOUCHE BAG REPEATS IT RIGHT AFTER THAT'S WHY THERE BASEBALL BATS
/ {{weedmaster P normally speaks in all caps. also, there was no punctuation after "after" just a large space}}
/ Baby: I'm worried about Jeffrey! Where did he go? / Weedmaster P: HE PROBABLY MIGRATED BACK TO OKLAHOMA TO SPAWN WITH A GOAT OR WHATEVER DICKLESS HILLBILLIES DO AT CHRISTMAS
/ Baby: That's not funny! Goats are friendly animals! / Weedmaster P: LISTEN YOU HAVE TO ADMIT IT'S OUTRAGEOUSLY NICE NOT TO HAVE TO LISTEN TO EVERY SONG FROM THE 1970S IN ALPHABETACAL ORDER
/ Baby: Yeah, Jeffrey ehn't good at listening to music. / [[bunker or basement setting. banner in panel reads "meanwhile" Jeffrey is preparing a rifle.]] / [[bunker or basement setting. Jeffrey is looking at a monitor while a grenade is see in the background]] / [[computer screen. we see Jeffrey was looking up a one way flight from "harford, ct" to "the north pole" but that none were found.]] http://overcompensating.com/posts/20061216.html |
| The Choosed One | Tallahassee Econolodge: Weedmaster P, I have to go to an important appointment. I'll be back in two hundred minutes. / Weedmaster P: MAN YOU KNOW I CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW LONG THAT IS / (Tallahassee meets Jesus at a folksy coffee house) / Jesus Christ: Thanks for coming, Tallahassee. / Tallahassee: No problem, J.C. I -- / Jesus: Dad dangit I ordered a chai not a warm cup of soy milk! / Tallahassee: Can't you just fix it with your magics? / Jesus: I didn't die on a cross to just forgive sexually ambiguous co-eds for giving me bad service! / Tallahassee: You kind of did. / Jesus: Oh... right. / Tallahassee: Cut to the chase, J.C. I gotta get back to work so people can get their hilarious, irreverant T-shirts in time for your birthday. / Jesus: Tallahassee, our intelligence has uncovered a plot to assassinate Santa Claus. And only you can stop it. / Tallahassee: Whatchoo talkin' 'bout, Jesus? http://overcompensating.com/posts/20061219.html |
| Ridin' Dirty | [[Tallahassee and J.C. in a well lit room]]
/ Tallahassee; I don't get it J.C... Why do you care if Santa gets killed? I'd think you two'd be enemies!
/ J.C.; Tallahassee, me and my dad created Santa to take some pressure off of us. J.C.; There's a lot more people now than there was in my day. / Tallahassee; But who would want to kill Santa?
/ J.C.; We're not sure. All we know is you're the only one who can stop it. / Tallahassee; So... Are you gonna give me some weapons or transportation?
/ J.C.; That's not how we roll. You must provide for yourself on your journey.
/ Tallahassee; Grr. / [[Snowy landscape at sundown]]
/ Narrator; Meanwhile, in the Arctic Circle / [[Jeffrey on the back of a Tauntaun in the Arctic Circle]] / Tauntaun; Honk honk
/ Jeffrey; Shit, yeah. http://overcompensating.com/posts/20061221.html |
| North Pole Labor Camp | Jeffrey: Finally! I'm at Santa's secret fortress labor camp! / Jeffrey: I've seen Magnificenter.
/ Jeffrey: Now to infiltrate and kill Santa Claus! / Jeffrey: I have to use all of my stealth skills! If I tap on this stack of crates, they'll think--
/ Elf 1: Hey, you! What are you doing in here?! / Jeffrey: Judo-necksnap! / Jeffrey: Good thing I went to public school.
/ Jeffrey: Heh. / [[Outside]]
/ Tallahassee Econolodge: Thanks for the lift, Officer Do-Right! Us Canadians gotta stick together!
/ Officer Do-Right: Guh guh gug gug gahga doo / Tallahassee Econolodge: Swanky. Guess there's a good buck in giving away billions in merchandise one night a year. http://overcompensating.com/posts/20061222.html |
| Christmas 2006 | Out of Panel: HO HO HO
/ Jeffrey: I'm gettin' close. I can almost smell the roasting plum fairies or whatever...
/ Out of Panel: HO HO / Out of Panel: HO HO HO
/ Jeffrey: This is something people will remember forever... / Out of Panel: HO HO HO
/ Jeffrey: WTFOMG / Santa: Who 'zat? Courtney, 'zat you?
/ Jeffrey: Holy mother of God, you're Santa Claus? / Santa: Yeh, I'm Saint Nick. Who're you?
/ Jeffrey: I'm uh... Chris Gaines? / Mrs Claus: He got a sword, Big Daddy. I think he want to keel you!
/ Santa: 'Zat your aim, boy?
/ Jeffrey: I just think Christmas is too much about money... / Santa: Maybe it is... / [[Santa punches Jeffrey]]
/ < http://overcompensating.com/posts/20061225.html |
| Legalize Bunk | Weedmaster P: MAN THE JUSTICE SYSTEM IN AMERICA IS TOTALLY BUNK ALMOST ALL THE PRISONERS ARE IN PRISON CAUSE THEY HAD A TINY AMOUNT OF DRUGS
/ Jeffrey: We need to make up a new justice system! / [[Weeks later]]
/ Jeffrey: If a guy murders a guy then for the rest of his life, for one hour a day, he has to be in a hole under a porta potty at a monster truck show.
/ Weedmaster P: IF A MAN DOTH RAPE THAN SHALL HE BE RAPED / [[24 hours later]]
/ Jeffrey: We're overrun by men who want to get *paid* to rape!
/ Weedmaster P: I'M CALLING THE POLICE / {{title text: The last panel looks weird because I was pretty drunk.}} http://overcompensating.com/posts/20061227.html |
| Donald Trump Is a Gigantic Douchebag | Jeffrey: Donald Trump is like some new species of douchebag that science hasn't discovered yet.
/ Weedmaster P: Donald Trump is like the base particle of douchebags he's a quantum douchebag
/ Jeffrey: The spotted douchebag / Jeffrey: It almost seems inaccurate to call Donald Trump a douchebag. Like, Bill O'Reilly is a douchebag but Donald Trump... he's something more.
/ Baby: Calling Donald Trump a douchebag is like calling Paris Hilton "Stupid." / Jeffrey: What's more pathetic than a billionaire douchebag threatening to sue a loudmouth drama whore for saying bad things about him? / Jeffrey: Nothing http://overcompensating.com/posts/20061229.html |
| A Length of Rope and a Camera Phone | Jeffrey: Well Weedmaster P, we made it around teh sun again with gettin' killed. It was a weird year, wudn't it?
/ Weedmaster P: NIGHT AIN'T OVER YET CRAP BALLS
/ Jeffrey: it's 2am. On January 2. / Jeffrey: Do you have any predictions that don't involve celebrities or the apocalypse?
/ Weedmaster P: KEITH RICHARDS IS GONNA WHIP OUT HIS PECKER AT THE SUPERBOWL AND THE FCC WILL OUTLAW THE BROADCAST OF VISUAL IMAGES / [[In front of the World Trade Center]]
/ Jeffrey: Except for the executions of evil people! We have to be able to see that!
/ Weedmaster P: WELL OBVIOUSLY I MEAN THAT IS A BASIC HUMAN RIGHT http://overcompensating.com/posts/20070101.html |
| Cape Hangy | [[Poopmonster stands behind Jeffrey, his cape billowing in the wind.]]
/ Poopmonster: Twenty-five percent of Americans who answer phone calls from poll people say 2007 will be the year of the second coming of Christ!
/ Jeffrey: That gives me an idea. / [[Jeffrey is seated with Weedmaster P at a table, wearing a tinfoil hat and a red American-flag t-shirt. On the table is a drawing of a skull.]]
/ Jeffrey: We're gonna buy an island and make it a sovereign nation. Then we'll legalize murder and videotape executions with camera phones and sell the videos to American news outlets!
/ Weedmaster: MAN YOU ARE LOSING YOUR MIND / Jeffrey: Am I, Weedmaster P? Or have the tiny aliens that live in my guts finally stopped screaming long enough for me to see the big picture?
/ Weedmaster: NO I CAN STILL HEAR 'EM / {{Title text attribute: It will be a hanging-based economy, which is not that uncommon in World History.}} http://overcompensating.com/posts/20070104.html |
| Something English This Way Comes | [[Jeffrey and Weedmaster P are in his control room. Jeffrey is wearing a pair of overalls (with one strap unbuttoned) over a Swatch shirt and a Yukon Street Wear hat. He is holding a sign that says Topatoco. Weedmaster P is wearing a white shirt with a black tie and black pants. He is wearing a watch on his left arm and has a headset in his ear.]]
/ Jeffrey: In closing, the reason I'm not a real skinny guy is because being real skinny is for hipsters.
/ Weedmaster P: Jeffrey you wanna take a look at this we got activity in Sector 7-G.
/ Jeffrey: Gasp! The Englishman! / [[Cut to Jeffrey talking to Tallahassee Econolodge. She is wearing a pink hat.]]
/ Jeffrey: Quick Tallahassee, write a scathing review about the Englishman's latest book! Everyone else, man the battle stations!
/ Tallahassee: But... I like his books!
/ Jeffrey: Please. / [[The Englishman is seen, with a large bunny and two flying green creatures.]]
/ THE UNITED KINGDOM
/ The Englishman: Come, my lovelies. It's time to teach America that the correct pronunciation of "aluminum" is alarmingly different than the way it ought to be. / {{title text: Something English This Way Comes
/ foot note: AIL OOH MIN YUM
/ mouse-over text: The time was six o'clock on the Swatch Watch got a date can't be late ah The Englishman's gonna make fun of us}} http://overcompensating.com/posts/20070105.html |
| TBB - The Retribution Index | A couple of weeks ago I was making my way through the labyrinthine organized chaos of Dumbrella HQ and I must have taken a wrong turn at the intersection of Amusing Pop Culture Reference and Obscure Internet Reference when I found myself on the Poopmonster side of the street. Lost and alone, I grabbed a copy of The Retribution Index off the nearest pile of merchandise, figuring if worse came to worst I could either eat it or burn it for warmth. I eventually found my way out by following the sound of Art Bell's voice, and decided to read the book instead. / If you are reading this, there is a fairly good chance you are already familiar with Scary Go Round and of it's creator John Allison. John is of the webcomics Old School (His former strip Bobbins ran from 1998-2002). If you are not familiar then I suggest you cancel your weekend plans and sit down and read the archive from A to "zed" as John would say. (You know, because he's British.) Call out of work, break up with your girlfriend, do what you have to do but trust me it's worth it. / The Retribution Index is the fourth collection of Scary Go Round comics (originally published online between March 14th 2005 to February 17th 2006). Describing SGR in a pat little sentence is pretty tough. Like you can say, "Diesel Sweeties is about robot fsckers!" or, "Wigu is about a fat kid!" but SGR is a little tougher. If I had to simplify, it's kind of about thin, attractive and witty people who keep finding themselves in sundry supernatural adventures. Like Friends meets Buffy as written by JK Rowling but without the teen angst. / The most interesting thing about this collection is the style switch. The art in the first story arc is highly stylized computer drawin', then John claims he threw his computer into a ravine and went back to pen and ink. (Aside; if he threw his computer away, how did he update? Just askin'.) That lasts for another story arc, then it switches back to the computer animation for the last story in the book. Incidentally, Scary Go Round is back to pen and ink. While I appreciate both styles equally, I prefer this. John is an incredible illustrator. / You can purchase any and all of Mr. Allison's books and other merchandise at scarygoround.com/shop.php. Now if you all will excuse me, I need to take a MySpacesque photo of myself in a mirror wearing the Emo Potato shirt. / TLA TLF, / *~*~*~*Tallahassee*~*~*~* / If you have a book you would like considered for review, please send it to: / Tallahassee's Book Brigade
/ c/o TopatoCo, Inc.
/ POB 459
/ Easthampton, MA 01027 http://overcompensating.com/posts/20070108.html |
| OVERCOMPENSATING: Primary Export: Fanciness | [[ Baby is wearing a red short-shorts and a blue tanktop emblazoned with the letter "B"; Jeffrey wears his black pointy-eared hat, typing at a computer ]]
/ Baby: Jeffrey, why do ya always bug out when th' Englishman comes t'visit? Ehn't he yer friend?
/ Jeffrey: He's from England. Do you have any idea how fancy it is in England?
/ Jeffrey: PRETTY DAMN FANCY. / Baby: You ehn't ever actually been t'England, 'ave ya?
/ Jeffrey: Oh, I'll never be fancy enough to go to England, Baby. At England's main airport they test how fancy you are... you don't want to fail.
/ Jeffrey: They will be very rude. / Jeffrey: I'm asking the government if they can hide all the poor people with "Razr" phones for a week.
/ Baby: Yer aware that Madonna is English, ehn't ya?
/ Jeffrey: Fictional characters don't count. http://overcompensating.com/posts/20070109.html |
| OVERCOMPENSATING: Sweet Freedom | Jeffrey: What's the Englishman doin'? He's just flyin' around in circles!
/ The Poopmonster: He's looking for a clean place to land. / Jeffrey: Sweet, look at all those fighter jets!
/ The Poopmonster: They're firing...
/ Jeffrey: Oh man. / The Englishman: Arrrgh!
/ God save the Queen! / Jeffrey: Sorry about that, The Englishman! I'm sorry the government tired to kill you 'cause you're foreign.
/ The Englishman: No apology necessary, Jeffrey! America must protect her sweet freedom at all costs, even if it means bankrupting the economy! / Jeffrey: Dang, you're laid back! If my jumbo jet got blowed up I'd be screamin' at somebody usin' my own severed leg as a weapon!
/ The Englishman: Jeffrey, if my jet had to be destroyed so an American foetus could grow up to eat Big Macs and have a Playstation, it was worth it. http://overcompensating.com/posts/20070111.html |
| The Papers | Weedmaster P: Jeffrey I bought a news-paper so we can read the poopmonster's comic strips
/ Jeffrey Rowland: Ha Ha! You paid to see comics?! You poor sucker / Weedmaster P: No, newspapers have other things too like the words aren't written by ignorant self-obsessed jerkoffs with diabetes and ADHD
/ Jeffrey Rowland: Um...where do you go to leave comments? / Weedmaster P: No see that's why newspapers cost money so you don't have to read other people's comments
/ Jeffrey Rowland: Brilliant. http://overcompensating.com/posts/20070115.html |
| Poopwoundster | The Englishman: Jeffrey, you probably don't even think about the future, do you? You just stagger through life grasping the neck of a bottle of gin, giggling about flatulence.
/ Jeffrey: I do too think about the future! / Jeffrey: The future has a name, it is Poopwoundster.com.
/ The Englishman: Poopwoundster dot com?
/ Jeffrey: It's the Napster of Myspace. / Jeffrey: On Poopwoundster.com, children prey on you! Imagine there is a box that is inside a larger box. That's what we're thinking outside of.
/ The Englishman: I see. http://overcompensating.com/posts/20070117.html |
| Doctor Doctor Give Me The News | [[Baby and and Tallahassee are walking in a park or a field]]
/ Baby: All my friends have trivial disorders they take medication for...surely there's something wrong with me!
/ Tallahassee: Baby, I used to feel the same way. / Tallahassee: I always felt like there was something wrong with me, but my doctor didn't know what it was. Then one day I found out about Restless Leg Syndrome.
/ Tallahassee: That's what I have. / Baby: R.L.S.? I like the sound of that!
/ Tallahassee: Plus the medication for it causes Leaky Heart Valves Syndrome. http://overcompensating.com/posts/20070122.html |
| The Exploratory Committee | [[ Jeffrey is holding a bloodied sack, talking with Weedmaster P ]]
/ Jeffrey: All right Weedmaster P we got to start strategeratin' if we're conna take the White House in aught eight know what I'm sayin'?
/ Weedmaster P: OH YEAH I FORGOT ABOUT THAT
/ Jeffrey: Yeah. / Jeffrey: Oh man this Borat Obama dude looks tough to beat. I think we should give up.
/ Weedmaster P: MAN HE AIN'T GOT YOUR PLAN TO WIN THE IRAQ WAR / Jeffrey: What? Change the definition of "win" to mean "back away slowly until nobody notices you and run as fast as you can?"
/ Weedmaster P: DECLARE INTERNATIONAL OPPOSITE DAY http://overcompensating.com/posts/20070123.html |
| Faith-ah Faith-ah Faith | Jeffrey: Here's a breaking news flash!
/ Baby: Big news! Science has just proven the existence of Ghosts is reeeal! / Baby: Scientists in Sweden have proven that when ya die ya become a weird, see-through thing and ya spend all eternity in a creepy house, rattlin' chains and scarin' folks! / Jeffrey: That's big news, Baby! What's new in sports?
/ Baby: I DON'T KNOW WHO'S PLAYIN' IN THE DAMN SUPER BOWL! http://overcompensating.com/posts/20070125.html |
| The Woodchipper Proxy | Weedmaster P: You know I think the first rule of being a hooker is don't do business with guys that own wood chippers
/ Jeffrey: Only 10% of wood chippers are used for chipping wood. / Weedmaster P: Through an extremely strange evolutionary anomaly the wood chipper has become the natural enemy of the prostitute
/ Jeffrey: Pig Snax® / Jeffrey: Why does God let things like this happen, Weedmaster P?
/ Weedmaster P: Man wer'e all just prostitutes in God's wood chipper http://overcompensating.com/posts/20070126.html |
| Bear Versus Horse | Jeffrey: Hey Poopmonster, did you watch the Superbowl only for the commercials?
/ Poopmonster: I'm boycotting the Superbowl until they get better mascots.
/ Poopmonster: I don't wanna watch "The Bears" versus "The Horses." I wanna watch "The Suicidal Extremists" versus "The Satanic Serial Rapists."
/ Jeffrey: Ha ha! I tricked you! The Superbowl hasn't even happened yet! There's egg on your face!
/ Poopmonster: That's not egg.
/ [[The guys are apparently playing golf, but Poopmonster is wielding a cricket bat and a bowling ball. He is also wearing a cape.]]
/ {{The Sopranos versus The Reanimated, PCP Corpses}} http://overcompensating.com/posts/20070130.html |
| OVERCOMPENSATING: The Mongolian Death Worms of War | Jeffrey: Okay guys we got some down time so let's figure out how to solve this Iraq deal.
/ Baby: Why don't they just make blowin' up people illegal?
/ Tallahassee: Weedmaster P, do you have a solution?
/ Weedmaster P: THREE WORDS: MONGOLIAN DEATH WORMS / Weedmaster P: WE JUST LET LIKE A HORDE OF MONGOLIAN DEATH WORMS LOOSE IN BAGHDAD BECAUSE YOU CAN'T INSURGE WHEN YOU'RE PULLIN' DEATH WORMS OFF YOUR FACE / Jeffrey: So your solution involves Iraq looking like a version of "Paradise Lost" as illustrated by H.R. Giger?
/ Weedmaster P: IT'S BETTER THAN HOW IT IS NOW
/ Jeffrey: Yup. http://overcompensating.com/posts/20070201.html |
| Six More Weeks of Days | [[ Joanna and Winston, sitting on top of a boom box, are watching The Machine Elf breakdancing on a piece of cardboard. Music is playing. ]]
/ Narrator: MEANWHILE...
/ << SPICE UP YOUR LIFE! COLORS OF THE WORLD! >> / Jeffrey: Look, Weedmaster P! The Machine Elf is teaching Joanna and Winston how to ghetto dance!
/ Weedmaster P: IT'S GROUND-HOGS DAY WHAT THE HELL DO YOU EXPECT
/ Jeffrey: Wee! / Weedmaster P: IF HE ENDS THE ROUTINE WITH A FREEZE THERE WILL BE A BIG TERRORISM ACT IN THE NEXT SIX WEEKS IF HE ENDS WITH A SUICIDE THERE WILL BE A DISEASE PANDEMIC / [[ The Machine Elf, spinning on his head ]] / [[ The Machine Elf, walking ]] / [[ Weedmaster P holds an open Holy Bible, held upside down ]]
/ Jeffrey: What if he just loses interest and walks away?
/ Weedmaster P: LET'S SEE / Weedmaster P: EXPOSED CELEBRITY GENITALS
/ Jeffrey: That's okay! / [[ Close-up of Weedmaster P's face; Jeffrey speaking off-panel ]]
/ Weedmaster P: EXPOSED MALE CELEBRITY GENITALS
/ Jeffrey: Nooooo http://overcompensating.com/posts/20070202.html |
| Riding in Limos for Dummies | Narrator: BABY LAMÉ'S GUIDE TO RIDING IN LIMOS FOR FAMOUS, ATTRACTIVE WOMEN
/ Baby: I'm helping! / [[ Baby, wearing a black tanktop and sporting green and white polka-dotted panties ]]
/ Narrator: STEP ONE: PUT ON UNDERPANTS
/ Narrator: THIS IS CRUCIAL.
/ Baby: Put 'em 'round yer bum! / [[ Baby, now also wearing a ruffle-cuffed shirt, seated in the back of a limo and waving a wine bottle. A STOP sign is on one of the empty seats. ]]
/ Narrator: STEP TWO: RIDE AROUND IN A LIMO ALL NIGHT
/ Baby: Go buck wild! http://overcompensating.com/posts/20070205.html |
| Your Mom Ain't Real | [[Poopmonster holds Joanna above his head in one hand and points to Jeffrey with the other. Jeffery looks shirtless and angered.]]
/ Jeffrey: Give me back Joanna, Poopmonster!
/ Poopmonster: Not until you admit she isn't real!
/ Jeffrey: She *is* real! / [[closeup on Poopmonster, holding Joanna]]
/ Poopmonster: No she's not! She's in your imagination. You didn't get her in hell because that's impossible. You say she drinks your booze when nobody is looking but you're just trying to hide all the booze *you* drink that you don't want people to know about. / [[Jeffrey holds Joanna while standing in front of a skyline and bridge]]
/ {{Five hundred minutes later}}
/ Jeffrey: It's weird how somethin' that ain't real can flip a grown man five times in the air and shove a little elepant statue up into his large intestine.
/ Joanna: {{in a thought bubble}} Let's get drunk. http://overcompensating.com/posts/20070207.html |
| Moustache Ride Economics | Weedmaster P: GOODBYE ANNA NICOLE WE WILL NEVER FORGET YOU
/ Jeff: Weedmaster P, do you realize the price of a moustache ride has been the same for over 100 years?! / Jeff: A professional moustache ride giver has to give almost two and a half million rides a year just to live in poverty!
/ It is an outrage. / Narration: LATER, ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL...
/ Jeff: My fellow Amurr-cans, I propose raising the minimum moustache riding fee to 50 cents and the maximum number of cats owned by the insane shall not exceed 100. http://overcompensating.com/posts/20070209.html |
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