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| The Smoothest Aphrodisiac | TV: ...vice president brutally gunned down his best friend in cold blood for no apparent reason...
/ Jeff: The world is full of hate because we destroyed Valentime's Day!
/ Weedmaster P: OH WELL IT'S ABOUT TIME WE BECOME EXTINCT ANYWAYS / Jeff: No! It's not time! We have to save love now as bad as we hate to! / Weedmaster P: WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DROP A BUNCH OF ROOFIES IN THE WATER SUPPLY
/ Jeff: I was thinking more like wine coolers and ecstasy. http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060213.html |
| The Taint | Jeff: Well we tainted the world's water supply with Ecstasy.
/ Baby: Are people falling in love again?
/ Weedmaster P: WELL THERE'S GOOD NEWS AND BAD NEWS / Weedmaster P: IT LOOKS LIKE WHEN WE MURDERED CUPID PEOPLE NOT ONLY FORGOT HOW TO LOVE THEY FORGOT HOW TO MAKE LOVE / Jeff: What's the good news?
/ Weedmaster P: THAT WAS THE GOOD NEWS THE BAD NEWS IS THERE IS GONNA BE AN EPIDEMIC OF BIRTH DEFECTS / Jeff: Chill yo' bitch asses out.
/ I have an idea. / Jeff: C'mon, man! I'll give you anything you want!
/ Yes, even that.
/ Aight, then. / Topato: Sheriff Pony, ask your assistant to file the paperwork to delete the worldline in which Jeffrey Rowland murders the Godling "Cupid."
/ Sheriff Pony: Deleting a worldline for a human?! What did he promise you? / Topato: His pretty soul. http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060214.html |
| Absolutely Nothin' | Jeff: Yo, where are all the caucasian females located?!
/ Weedmaster P: DUDE THE NEW ABU GHRAIB PHOTOS HAVE DROPPED
/ CHECK IT / Jeff: Man, why are people such dicks to each other?
/ Weedmaster P: WE'RE LOOKIN' AT ECONOMICALLY DISADVANTAGED PEOPLE WHO ARE FORCED TO FIGHT BY DECEPTIVE LEADERS WHO CONVINCE THEM THEY ARE MORALLY SUPERIOR / Weedmaster P: THE WAR IS OPPRESSED PEOPLE WHO ARE WILLING TO DIE FOR WHAT THEY BELIEVE VERSUS OPPRESSED PEOPLE WITH LASER BAZOOKAS
/ Jeff: Who's gonna win?
/ Weedmaster P: THE COCK-A-ROACHES http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060215.html |
| This is Not Funny | [[Comic author Warren Ellis walks through a field with his sparrow sidekick]]
/ Warren Ellis: Come, Sparrow. Today is my birthday and my only wish is to travel to America and have you defecate on the head of Jeffrey Rowland.
/ Sparrow: Chee-caw!!! / [[Weedmaster P and Jeffrey are walking in front of a warehouse]]
/ Weedmaster P: IF THE PRESIDENT IS EVER CONVICTED OF WAR CRIMES ALL TAX PAYERS WILL BE ACCOMPLICES
/ Jeffrey: I'm not doing time for that guy! / [[Bird droppings land on Jeffrey's head]]
/ < http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060216.html |
| I Am Good At Desiging T-Shirts | Weedmaster P: WOAH ARE THOSE THE NEW SHIRT DESIGNS
/ Jeff: Yep!
/ Weedmaster P: THOSE ARE AMAZING
/ Jeff: Thanks! / Baby: Ooh, can I get the Catbank one on a camouflage trench coat?
/ Jeff: No.
/ Weedmaster P: MAN HOW DID YOU GET SO GOOD AT DESIGNING T-SHIRTS
/ Jeff: Desperation. / Baby: Do you ever worry about all the competition with other Cyberspace T-shirt companies?
/ Jeff: No. They're all run by satanic pederasts. http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060218.html |
| Youth Gone Wild | Jeff: I have a dream! / [[ DARK SECRETS DAY CARE ]] / Weedmaster P: BE QUIET I AM ON THE PHONE WITH 50 CENT ASKING HIM IF HE WANTS TO DO AN EXTREMELY VIOLENT ANIMATED SERIES
/ HEAR ME OUT
/ FOR CHILDREN http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060220.html |
| Suddenly Human | Jeff: So... that's what happens after you die... do you know where I was before I was born?
/ Weedmaster P: MAN BEFORE YOU WAS BORN EVERYTHING WAS FINE / Weedmaster P: THEN YOU GET BORN AND IT'S LIKE SUDDENLY YOU'RE BEHIND THE WHEEL OF A SPEEDING JEEP AND YOU ARE BLINDFOLDED AND THE GAS AND THE BRAKES DON'T WORK / Weedmaster P: AND THEN YOU REALIZE YOU ARE WASTED--
/ Jeff: Then what happens?
/ Weedmaster P: THEN YOU RUN OVER A LANDMINE http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060221.html |
| One Billion Served | Baby: iTunes is about to download its one billionth song!
/ Jeff: Only two of 'em are any good! / Jeff: Britney Spears' "Toxic" and the theme to "Dukes of Hazzard!"
/ The Poopmonster: Bullshit! BTO's "Takin' Care of Business" is the only good song! / Weedmaster P: THE SOUND OF TWENTY THOUSAND DOLLARS CASH SLAPPING AGAINST BARE FLESH IS THE GREATEST SOUND ONE COULD HEAR
/ Jeff: Checkmate. http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060222.html |
| Moment of Clarity | Jeff: Oh man, what the hell? / Jeff: Son of an ass. / Jeff: Not again. http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060224.html |
| Meanwhile at Pearly Gates Trailer Park | God: I don't care for that Jeffrey Rowland...
/ Boy!
/ BOY!! / Jesus: What, Dad?! / God: Are you drinkin' juice straight out of the container?
/ Jesus: Why do you bother askin'? You know everything.
/ God: Just stop it. You know that Jeffrey Rowland kid, don't you? / Jesus: He's that cartoonist, right?
/ God: Right. But he grows too powerful. He must be stopped.
/ Jesus: But I like his comics! / Jeff: Ow. http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060227.html |
| Racism Alley | Weedmaster P: OH SNAP I JUST SEEN THE POOPMONSTER TRYING TO SCREW IN A LIGHT BULB AND HE HAD ABOUT 20 PEOPLE HELPING HIM BECAUSE HE IS FROM POLAND
/ Jeff: That's racism! You're suspended! / Weedmaster P: MAN RACISM DOESN'T HURT ANYBODY IT'S HUMOROUS
/ Jeff: It may be unbelievably hysterical but it hurts people. / Jeff: Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm starving and I can't find my food stamps.
/ Weedmaster P: DID YOU LOOK UNDER YOUR WORK BOOTS
/ Jeff: No. http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060228.html |
| Burnout! | Jeff: I am insanely burned out, Topato! Alls I wanna do is watch "Homicide" DVDs!
/ Topato: Let Sheriff Pony and I take you on an adventure most magical!
/ Sheriff Pony: Yes!
/ Jeff: Yay! / < http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060301.html |
| Ghost Fighter | Baby: Jeffrey, do you believe in ghosts?
/ Jeff: Of course I do! Ghosts are as real as police brutality and political corruption! / Baby: Have ye ever seen a ghost?
/ Jeff: Heck, I fought a ghost one time!
/ True story. http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060302.html |
| The Enemy Within | Weedmaster P: THE PRESIDENT IS ALL PISSED OFF CUZ THEY WON'T LET HIM HAVE ARABS RUN THE PORTS
/ Jeff: But the United Arab Emirates has been our friends for a long time! / Weedmaster P: BUT THE PRESIDENT MADE EVERYBODY THINK ALL ARABS ARE TERRORISTS CUZ OF NINE ELEVEN
/ Jeff: But those terrorists were trained here, in America... that can mean only one thing! / Jeff: Everyone who believe what George Bush says is an idiot! http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060303.html |
| Blogsturbating | Narration: AFTER THE MC FRONTALOT SET...
/ Reporter: Jeffrey, can we ask you some questions for a documentary?
/ Jeff: Of course! / Fan: Jeffrey, I love your work! Can I get you to sign this?
/ Jeff: Yes! Let me answer these questions real quick. / Some dude: Jeffrey, a girl is here who wants to give you twenty dollars to kiss her.
/ Jeff: Jesus Christ. http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060306.html |
| The Nerdiest of the Nerds | Weedmaster P: HOLY JEEBUS WEBCOMICS JOURNALISTS HAVE GOT TO BE THE HUGEST NERDS ON EARTH
/ Jeff: But they're all so happy and well-adjusted! / Jeff: I'm wasting my time being a comic creator! Webcomics Journalism is where the cash be large! / Narration: LATER!
/ Jeff: Mr. Jon Rosenberg! Give up the dirt, holmes! What's nasty?
/ Jon Rosenberg: Today I purposefully shit on a crippled sparrow. True story. / Jeff: We'll be back right after webcartoonists develop some redeeming qualities. http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060307.html |
| The Sentient Life | The Poopmonster: My new iBlogoscope Pro tells me they've outlawed the removal of tapeworms from women in South Dakota!
/ Jeff: Confirmed! / Jeff: But a tapeworm doesn't have feelings...
/ The Poopmonster: It's about potential, bub! One gamma ray burst and that tapeworm could become sentient! / Jeff: Every time you masturbate God murders a hundred million orphans.
/ The Poopmonster: A vasectomy is technically an extinction level event. http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060308.html |
| Blog Song | The new iBlogoscope Pro.
/ Be the blog.
/ iMagine... / The Drudge Report in 360 degree Surround Sound...
/ In a Coffee Shop.
/ DREW
/ Being with Wonkette
/ when she updates...
/ Or at Least Being Able To
/ Convince Yourself You Are
/ CURTIS
/ SMELLING Xeni Jardin... / Now You're Bloggin.'
/ The new iBlogoscope Pro. http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060310.html |
| Chokeback Fountain | Jeff: Guys, look! I finally finished the book!
/ Baby: Wooooo!! SPRING BREAK!! / Jeff: My God... I had no idea! I nearly worked through Spring Break!
/ Weedmaster P: COME ON MAN WE'RE GONNA GET SHITTY AND GO WATCH BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN AND YELL AT THE SCREEN / Jeff: Do they actually show penetration in that movie?
/ Weedmaster P: No.
/ Jeff: I'm not really interested then.
/ Baby: Jeffrey only likes cowboy movies with full penetration. http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060313.html |
| The True Meaning of Spring Break | Jeff: Remember when Spring Break use to be special, Weedmaster P? How can we make it special again?
/ Weedmaster P: DRINK
/ VOMIT
/ REPEAT FOR ONE WEEK / Baby: SPRING BREAK!! WOOOO!
/ Jeff: Spring Break has become an MTV holiday! Its only purpose is to fatten the wallets of bail bondsmen and bead-makers! / Baby: What is Spring Break all about, Jeffrey Rowland?
/ Jeff: I don't know, Baby. But I'm gonna find out if I have to leer at every exposed breast and drink every tequila shooter in town. http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060315.html |
| An Important Holiday | Jeff: Whu-- what is this place?
/ Weedmaster P: WELCOME TO THE LIBERRY CHICKENDICK
/ WE HAVE TO LEARN HOW SPRING BREAK STARTED SO YOU CAN LET US ENJOY IT / Jeff: Why can't we just look it up on the intarwub? Why do we have to actually go somewhere?
/ Librarian: Sir, you can't be in the library with no shirt on. / Jeff: Screw the library! I'm going back to the intarwub where you ain't supposed to wear clothes!
/ Weedmaster P: WOW IT TURNS OUT SPRING BREAK IS THE ANNIVERSARY OF WHEN GOD BUILT THE UNIVERSE IN SEVEN DAYS http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060316.html |
| OVERCOMPENSATING: Spring Break! | Jeff: So God really did build the universe in seven days?
/ Weedmaster P: YES BUT HE SLEPT ONE IT SAYS SO HERE IN THIS BOOK / Jeff: But why did He do it? Because He got paid of because He just thought it would be awesome?
/ Weedmaster P: HE JUST DID IT BECAUSE / Weedmaster P: AND THAT'S WHAT SPRING BREAK IS ALL ABOUT JEFFREY ROWLAND
/ Jeff: Looks like I'm gonna have a little conversation... with God.
/ Baby: Spring Break! Wooo! http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060317.html |
| Snakes on a Stretch Limo | Jeff: Man, I hope we get invited to the premiere of Snakes on a Plane since we've been promoting is for free and we got new fancy clothes.
/ Baby: Why don't you just ask 'em?
/ Weedmaster P: HOPE / Jeff: It's rude to ask! Plus I don't know if I wanna fly all the way to Hollyweird just to see a movie. / Baby: Why not?
/ Jeff: Because there might be snakes on the plane! http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060319.html |
| Overcompensating: YHWH and Son | [[ A scarf-sportin' Jeffrey walks towards the Pearly Gates Trailer Park ]] / [[ Jeffrey at the door of a trailer, answered by Jesus' in a short white robe ]]
/ Jeffrey: I need to talk to your Dad.
/ Jesus Christ: Is there something I can help you with?
/ Jeffrey: Um... maybe later. / [[ Jeffrey and Jesus inside the trailer ]]
/ Jesus Christ: Dad! DAD! Jeffrey Rowland is here to talk to You! / [[ YHWH looking startled and/or confused ]]
/ YHWH: Huh? / [[ YHWH running away ]] / [[ Jeffrey running after YHWH ]]
/ Jeffrey: Hey, come back here!
/ YHWH: < http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060320.html |
| Playing | [[A sign is visible. It reads: CAUTION DEAF CHILD PLAYING and has the silhouette of a running child]] / Jeffrey Rowland: I wonder what he's playing?
/ Baby: WHO CARES?! JUST DRIVE! / [[The revolver holding one bullet is seen]] / [[The revolver is shut and ready to fire]] / [[The silhouette of a person holding a gun to his head is seen. The word "click" is above him]] http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060322.html |
| Matriarchal Indignity | Jeff: Your momma's so stupid she turns on the English subtitles on British movies!
/ Weedmaster P: YO MOMMA IS SO CORRUPT THEY TAKE THE BIBLE OUT OF THE MOTEL ROOM WHEN SHE CHECKS IN / The Poopmonster: Your momma's so fat that she is going to have irreversible health problems.
/ Weedmaster P: SCREW YOU POOPMONSTER / Jeff: Weedmaster P is really sensitive about his fatass momma.
/ The Poopmonster: How fat is she?
/ Jeff: Let's just say she once mistook a school bus full of white kids for a Twinkie. http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060323.html |
| Misspent Leisure | Weedmaster P: WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING AT THE INTERNET JEFFREY WHY
/ Jeff: I'm locking my messageboard because people are being too obnoxious / Weedmaster P: MAN SOME OF THEM USED TO BE YOUR FRIENDS
/ YOU PRETENDED THEY DIDN'T IRRITATE YOU
/ Jeff: They changed. / Jeff: They've gone from wasting all day on the internet liking me to wasting all day on the internet not liking me.
/ Weedmaster P: MAYBE THEY'LL LET ME BE THEIR NEW FRIEND http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060324.html |
| RupertSpace | Jeffrey: Did you know that Rupert Murdoch owns myspace.com?
/ Poopmonster: He can have it. / Jeffrey: But Rupert Murdoch also owns Bill O' Reilly! That means every time you update your myspace profile, Bill O' Reilly tortures a kitten to death because it hates freedom! / [[NEWSCORP HEADQUARTERS]]
/ Rupert Murdoch: Remove Jeffrey Rowland from my myspace friends... and be sure to leave a comment.
/ Robot: YES, MY MASTER. http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060326.html |
| SyndiComics | Jeff: WAAAH
/ HAA
/ HAAAA!!
/ Weedmaster P: GET IT TOGETHER HONKY
/ THIS IS THE JOB
/ YOU A CARTOONIST
/ Baby: STOP IT!! STOP! / Jeff: I ain't a real cartoonist! I'm just a cyberspace cartoonist! It's like I'm a surgeon in Super Mario World. It ain't real.
/ Weedmaster P: MAN YOU AS REAL AS GAYFIELD AND DILBUTT / Jeff: But people don't choose to read "Dilbert!" It's a vicarious yet futile symbolic rebellion against a system they're powerless to change!
/ Weedmaster P: WHAT ABOUT GAYFIELD
/ Jeff: People identify strongly with lethargy and rejection.
/ Weedmaster P: AND OBESITY http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060328.html |
| Accomplish the Task | Jeff: Woah, is that a new sword, Weedmaster P?
/ Weedmaster P: HELL YEAH BUT THIS ONE HOLDS IN IT THE POWERS OF THE GOOD ANCIENTS
/ Larry the Cable Guy: Git 'er dun! / < http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060329.html |
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