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| The Puppet Master | The Poopmonster: The world's governments are merely puppets controlled by sinister, reptilian aliens.
/ Weedmaster P: YOU'RE CRAZIER THAN A SHITHOUSE RAT
/ SELF TRANSFORMING MACHINE ELVES RUN SHIT / Jeff: Stop hollering! You woke up Joanna!
/ Weedmaster P: WELL IT AIN'T HARD TO WAKE UP SOMETHING THAT JUST SLEEPS ALL THE TIME
/ Jeff: How dare you. / Jeff: The only thing that's in control is unavoidable oblivion, isn't it, Joanna?
/ Let's be wild and free! http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060330.html |
| Gynocide | Weedmaster P: HOW MANY WOMEN DOES IT TAKE TO SCREW IN A LIGHT BULB
/ Jeffrey Rowland: I have no earthly idea.
/ Weedmaster P: NONE ALL THEY DO IS BITCH ABOUT EVERYTHING / [[The Gynostryker flies in from the side]]
/ The Gynostryker: Did somebody say something about women?
/ Weedmaster P: OH SHIT IT'S THE GYNOSTRYKER / [[They Gynostryker swinging a yellow lasso]]
/ Jeffrey Rowland: Wow, is that like Wonder Woman's magical truth lasso?
/ The Gynostryker: Kind of but not exactly. / [[Lasso wraps around Weedmaster P's crotch]]
/ Weedmaster P: WHAT IN / [[Weedmaster P hits the wall]]
/ < http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060331.html |
| Gynocide | {{Gynocide}} / [[Weedmaster P, in a 911 t-shirt, points a finger at Jeffrey, who shrugs]]
/ Weedmaster P: HOW MANY WOMEN DOES IT TAKE TO SCREW IN A LIGHTBULB
/ Jeffrey: I have no earthly idea.
/ Weedmaster P: NONE ALL THEY DO IS BITCH ABOUT EVERYTHING / [[The Gynostryker flies in rope in hand, Weedmaster P starts running]]
/ Gynostryker: Did somebudy say something insulting about women?
/ Weedmaster P: OH SHIT IT'S THE GYNOSTRYKER / [[The Gynostryker starts twirling the rope like a lasso; Jeffrey looks after]]
/ Jeffrey: Wow, is that like Woner Woman's Magical Truth Lasso?
/ Gynostryker: Kind of but not exactly. / [[The lasso cinches around Weemaster P's dick]]
/ Weedmaster P: WHAT IN / [[The lasso throws Weedmaster P against a brick wall]]
/ < http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060331/ |
| The Legend of Vampicorn | Floating hologram of Weedmaster P: JEFFREY SCIENCE HAS DISCOVERED A BRAND NEW CREATURE THAT IS HALF VAMPIRE AND HALF UNICORN
/ Jeff: My God. / TV: The Unipire, as we're calling this creature, is basically a living nightmare. Its blood is made of pure, liquid sin.
/ < http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060403.html |
| Future Shock | Jeffrey: There's something I've been wanting to axe you about, Weedmaster P. How come you're a floating hologram now?
/ Weedmaster P: I AM IN THE FUTURE / [[2036]]
/ Weedmaster P: I AM WITH JOHN TITOR
/ Weedmaster P: WE ARE GOING TO SAVE THE FUTURE
/ Weedmaster P: JOHN TITOR GO BACK TO 2000 AND POST MESSAGES ON THE INTERNET
/ John Titor: Yes sir. / [[Weedmaster P stands looking very satisfied.]] / Weedmaster P: MAN I TOTALLY FORGOT WHAT I WAS DOING http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060404.html |
| OVERCOMPENSATING: Actual Things That Happen to Jeffrey Rowland | Jeffrey: What time you got, El Poopmonster?
/ The Poopmonster: One oh two and three seconds, April (four) fifth, two-thousand six.
/ Jeffrey: Oh my GOD. / Jeffrey: 1:02:03 on 4/5/06 (in American)... If it's gonna go down, it's gonna go down right now. / [[missile fires]]
/ Jeffrey: Holy! / [[imperial probe droid appears]] http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060405.html |
| Terrible Is The New Awesome | Jeff: Detective Baby, I have reason to believe our suspect- Weedmaster P- is an Alien Human Hybrid.
/ Baby. Why do you think that, Lieutenant Rowland? / Jeff: Look how his hair sticks up. It is definitely covering up some kind of antennae. / Baby: That's the cool style that cool folks get their hair did up like now! You're gettin' too old to get the cool styles.
/ Jeff: How dare you. / Jeff [singing]: It's hard to stay cool when everything is so stupid.
/ I use a word that don't mean nothin' like looptid. http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060406.html |
| I Turned My Webcam On | Jeffrey Rowland: The Internet is Cheetos and Mountain Dew for the soul.
/ Weedmaster P: A STEADY DIET OF LIVEJOURNAL AND XANGA CAUSES LONG TERM HEALTH PROBLEMS WOAH / [[Elvis is sitting on a unicorn in front of a McDonald's]] / Jeffrey Rowland: That's it. That picture is what the Internets are all about.
/ Weedmaster P: I'LL UM I'LL BE RIGHT BACK http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060407.html |
| [INSERT BAD THING] ON A PLANE | Jeff: All of the movies that are being released this year involve terrible things that happen on aeroplanes.
/ The Gynostryker: Can we please stop talking about Snakes on a Plane? / Jeff: I'm talkin' about United 93, the newest major motion picture to exploit the tragic events and subsequent jingoistic nationalism of nine-eleven.
/ [[ Jeff holds up a newspaper reading "UNITED 93 SUICIDAL LUNATICS ON A PLANE" ]]
/ The Gynostryker: And people wonder why airlines are struggling. / Weedmaster P: WHY DON'T YOU MAKE A T-SHIRT OFF THIS ONE ASS SACK
/ Jeff: Why don't you take off your shirt when you're in the hot tub? It's rude.
/ Weedmaster P: I got modesty.
/ Jeff: Me too. http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060410.html |
| The Wall | [[George Bush is wearing a hardhat and standing in front of a giant wall]]
/ George Bush: Heh heh. That giant wall oughta keep those crummy Mexicans out of America. / [[2010 - THE SMOLDERING REMAINS OF THE WHITE HOUSE OVAL OFFICE]]
/ [[Jeffrey sits at a desk while Baby reads off of a clipboard]]
/ Baby: Mr. President! The Canadians got an army of werewolves and they're fixin' to attack!
/ Jeffrey: Evacuate America, Secretary of State Baby. The Canadians have the upper hand here.
/ Baby: But -
/ Jeffrey: Make it so. / Baby: I tried to warn you!
/ Jeffrey: I totally forgot about the wall!
/ Weedmaster P: Oh shiiiiii- / [[Werewolves emblazoned with maple leaf symbols and wielding hockey sticks charge towards them]] http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060411.html |
| We Got To Pray Just To Make It Today | [[Jeffrey is tucking Joanna in]]
/ Jeffrey: Joanna, you just say your prayers and that mean old Vampicorn won't come in and take you in the night. / [[Joanna is kneeling and praying]]
/ Jeffrey: And torture you! / [[LATER]]
/ [[The Vampicorn is holding Joanna in submission]] http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060412.html |
| Night Mares | Baby: Jeffrey, it's a ransom scroll for Joanna from Vampicorn!
/ Jeff: She's dead, isn't she?
/ Baby: Yes... but she is a zombie, remember?
/ Jeff: Yes. / Baby: It's written in an obscure dialect but it looks like he's willing to give Joanna back if we give him our dreams. / Jeff: I don't have dreams anymore. Only nightmares.
/ Weedmaster P: I HAVE THIS ONE NIGHTMARE WHERE I LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND JESUS IS LOOKING AT ME AND HE SCREAMS AT ME FOR HOURS AND I CAN'T CLOSE MY EYES
/ Jeff: Sleeping is horrible. http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060413.html |
| Question Blocks | Mario: Mama mia! What are you doin' with-a the Question Blocks?
/ Toad: I gotta take 'em down, Mario! The Department of Mushroom Kingdom Security says they might be bombs! / Mario: But I need-a the Question Blocks for money and power-ups! It's the only way I can save-a the Princess!
/ Toad: I'm sorry, Mario. / [[THAT NIGHT... Mario sits at the bar drinking, while a Koopa bartends]] / [[THE NEXT DAY Bowser in a tuxedo and Princess Peach stand before a Bobomb.]]
/ Bobomb: ...husband and wife! / [[Princess Peach cowers on a bed while Bowser reaches out lecherously]] http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060414.html |
| Of NASCAR and String Cheese | Jeff: Weedmaster P, Sit down with me and let's drink this bottle of whiskey and get buck wild.
/ Weedmaster P: NO THANKS KEMOSABE I AM ON THE HOOCH TRAIN TO DRY CITY
/ Jeff: What / Jeff: But I thought you loved retarding your motor skills at the expense of your digestive system!
/ Weedmaster P: I USED TO BUT THEN I DECIDED I NO LONGER WANT TO FEEL JUST LIKE A MAN WHO THINKS NASCAR IS FASCINATING / Jeff: I see. You'd rather feel like a guy who thinks jam bands are awesome.
/ Weedmaster P: YOU TAKE THAT BACK YOU SON OF A BITCH
/ Jeff: I'm sorry. http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060417.html |
| I Do Too Have Problems | Jeffrey: My arm hurts from signing my autograph hundreds of times
/ Weedmaster P: OH YEAH AND MY JAW IS ALL SORE FROM KISSING GIRLS DICK / [[Jeffrey has Joanna in a baby carrier]]
/ Jeffrey: Nobody understands my problems, Joanna! They don't know how bad it is to have trouble paying your five-digit tax bill because you blew it all partying! / Jeffrey: I'm tired of everyone being nice to me all the time! I wish someone was mean to me for once! / [[God trains a sniper rifle on Jeffrey]] http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060418.html |
| Time Fogey | Narration: MY DEATHBED CIRCA 2170...
/ Jeff: Why oh why couldn't I have done everything differently... / Jeff: Oh sweet Angel of Death... have mercy on an old man...
/ Weedmaster P: IT'S ME YOU OLD DUMBASS I FELT SORRY FOR YOU AND BRUNG YOU A TIME MACHINE / Jeff: What's a dumb old bastard like me gonna do in the past...
/ Weedmaster P: DO LIKE I DID AND GO BACK AND GIVE THE MACHINE TO YOUR YOUNGER SELF
/ HOLD STILL / IF TIME WAS YOUR BITCH... WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
/ TIME FOGEY
/ the time hobbler!
/ Narration: TO BE CONTINUED! http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060419.html |
| Thursday Update | Topato: There is one thing I do not understand, my Liege. Why would a young, attractive female of your social standing even be required to read for any reason.
/ Princess: I want to get a job! http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060420.html |
| The Revenge of 420 | Jeff: You know what's stupid, The Poopmonster? Nuclear weapons. Also, why aren't you wearing a shirt now?
/ The Poopmonster: I don't do laundry, bub. I just make new T-shirts. / Jeff: But why does everyone think they need weapons that are designed to burn millions of people to death? Life is horrifying enough as it is!
/ The Poopmonster: Let's go to Yiffington's. / Narration: LATER
/ [[ Jeffrey and The Poopmonster sit in the back seat of a squad car labeled "420" ]]
/ Jeff: Furries sure get upset when you pull their tails and pretend to be satanists.
/ The Poopmonster: You should try marrying one of them. http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060421.html |
| President Bush Is Doing a Terrible Job | Jeffrey: I want to be proud to be an American but I'm ashamed of the Bush Administration!
/ < http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060422.html |
| Time to Try Eternify | Jeff: According to this report, rich people are terrified of their own mortality. We can make money from this.
/ Baby: Can we make up a new religion that teaches people to be nice to each other? / Jeff: I said make money. We can worry about peace after we all have fighter jets.
/ Weedmaster P: HOW ABOUT A RELIGION WHERE PEOPLE JUST SMOKE BUD AND COOL OUT
/ Jeff: You don't get it. / Jeff [singing]: I once met a man worth 50 mil,
/ That's fifty million dollar bills,
/ But he's gonna die- he's gonna fry,
/ unless he buys Eternify,
/ The True Religion from TopatoCo,
/ for $5,000 I'll tell you mo'! http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060424.html |
| Doppelbanger | Jeffrey: [[thinking]] It's been nearly two days... I still can't shake that dream... / [[A clone of Jeffrey sits on the couch]]
/ Jeffrey: [[thinking]] It was like something out of a dream... [[says]] Woah!
/ Jeffrey's Clone: Hello, Jeffrey! I need to tell you something. / Clone: Come closer. I need to whisper it... / [[Jeffrey sits down beside his clone]] / [[Jeffrey leans in to kiss his clone]] http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060425.html |
| Stop Being Mean To Women | Jeff as a talkshow host: So why do you hate men so bad, Gynostryker?
/ Gynostryker: I don't hate men, I just wish they didn't treat women like crap all the time. I want justice. / Jeff as a talkshow host: But I treat women real good, Miss Gynostryker. Just a few weeks ago I let a girl kiss me, and I only charged her twenty dollars.
/ Gynostryker: [["Craks" knuckles]] / Weedmaster P: I have found Gynostryker's hidden weakness - pictures of wiener dogs.
/ Jeff as a talkshow host: Whoa, I thought you was one of them terr'ists!
/ Gynostryker: THEY ARE SO CUTE / {{she has a point.}} http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060426.html |
| To Heave and to Heave Not | [[Jeffrey is slumped over a toilet.]]
/ Jeffrey: Guk. Oh God no dry heaves. Gak. / Jeffrey: Gurrrrrrrrk! Hurrrrrrk! / Jeffrey: Oh God and Jesus please make it stop. / God: Ha ha! Look at him go!
/ Jesus: Jeffrey Rowland is the Michael Jordan of dry heaving. / {{BLURGH}} http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060427.html |
| All Cats Don't Go To Heaven | Jeffrey: Joanna, are you a Satanist? You have to tell me if you are. / Jeffrey: Baby, I think Joanna is a Satanist because she's mentally incapable of believing in Jesus.
/ Baby: Jeffrey, animals don't need to believe in God or the Devil. They just rot when they die. / Jeffrey: Goodbye, Joanna. I'm gonna get a new pet that can go to Heaven with me when I die... Like a Furby or a sheet with a hole cut in it. / [[Small panel inside the third panel shows a box with a shipping label addressed to "Hell" on it.]] http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060428.html |
| TOS | [[Baby, Weedmaster P, and Jeffrey are around the computer]]
/ Baby: Jeffrey, it's Tom from Myspace. He's crying.
/ Jeffrey: Tell him I don't have time to be his friend. We're trying to figure out when Cinco de Mayo is this year.
/ Weedmaster P: I'M TELLING YOU IT'S IN JUNE / Jeffrey: It's the first Friday in May. That's why they call it Cinco de Mayo.
/ Baby: Tom is really upset. He says if you don't make him your friend he's gonna make a really sad video blog. / Jeffrey: I told Tom I'm not going to be his friend unless he agrees to my Terms of Service.
/ Baby: But your Terms of Service are unreasonable, impossible, and largely illegal.
/ Jeffrey: Exactly. / {{title text: But if he ever switch sides like Anakin, you would sell everything including the mannequins.}} http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060501.html |
| Tom Versus the Volcano | [[Jeffrey and The Poopmonster are walking through the mansion]]
/ Jeffrey: Poopmonster, do you want to see my new character Horse-Man? He's Schizophrenic.
/ Poopmonster: I think you'd be wise to pay more attention to the situation with Tom from Myspace. / Jeffrey: I don't care about Tom from Myspace! All I care about is Horse-Man!
/ Poopmonster: Well Tom's on the front porch at this very moment. / Jeffrey: To the Surveillance chamber! / [[Surveillance chamber. Close-up of a black and white monitor showing a video feed from outside. Tom is holding up a camera.]]
/ Jeffrey: My God... / Jeffrey: Release the hounds.
/ Poopmonster: Release the hounds! / Weedmaster P: UH WE HAD A PROBLEM WITH THE HOUNDS AND UH THEY AIN'T ALIVE NO MORE
/ Jeffrey: WELL SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING!! / [[Outside, Weedmaster P confronts Tom with a lightsaber.]] / {{title text: Horseman is allergic to Pills.}} http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060502.html |
| This Great Society is Going Smash | [[Outside the mansion, Weedmaster P confronts Tom from Myspace]]
/ Weedmaster P: YOU BETTER PUT THAT DAMN CAMERA DOWN, MYSPACE TOM THIS AIN'T A GODDAMN MIRROR IT'S A LAZER SWORD
/ Tom: I have to hold a camera like this! It's the code of Myspace. / Weedmaster P: SUCKS TO BE YOU THEN MYSPACE TOM IT'S CONTRACT RENEGOTIATIN' TIME / < http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060504.html |
| Cigarette Eddy | Weedmaster P: CIGARETTE EDDY DIED
/ Jeffrey: Man, I was NOT ready to hear that. / Narrator: Cigarette Eddy was so full of life!
/ Cigarette Eddy: Can I borrow $500? I'll pay you back when my disability check comes in.
/ Cigarette Eddy: I'm good for it! / Narrator: Remember how he would sit at drive-thrus and read the menu for 15 minutes until he ordered?
/ http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060505.html |
| The Girl Next Door | {{Title Text: The Girl Next Door}}
/ {{Rollover Text: Desperate Housewives call for Desperate Measures}} / Weedmaster p: JEFFERY THAT NEIGHBOR CHICK IS HERE I THINK SHE WANTS TO PARTY
/ Jeffrey: What neighbor?
/ Weedmaster P: YOU KNOW SHE'S LIKE A HUNDRED YEARS OLD BUT SUPER HOT
/ Jeffrey: All right. / HOURS LATER...
/ Neighbor:... and he's lazy and he's stupid and he makes these disgusting giant sandwiches all hours of the night...
/ Jeffrey: Souns like a real piece of crap. / Neighbor: You understand me, Jeffrey... I... I've never felt this way before... / SOON
/ [[They are having sex]] http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060508.html |
| The Worst That Can Happen | {{Title Text: The Worst That Can Happen}}
/ {{Rollover Text: Not Safe For Jail}} / [[Weedmaster P with a knife and Dilbert / Dilbutt with a drink in the bar]]
/ Dilbert: My boss is an idiot and my existence is utter meaningless monotony.
/ Weedmaster P: THEN QUIT YOUR JOB YOU FAT SACK OF CRAP YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE COMPUTER ASS / Weedmaster P: EVERYBODY AT THIS PARTY IS A DOUCHE-TURN JEFFREY I HATE THIS NEIGHBORHOOD
/ Jeffrey: I made a huge mistale Weedmaster P... I made a cuckold of a decent man. / Weedmaster P: EH WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT CAN HAPPEN / Meanwhile
/ [[Dagwood ina dark room holding a gun and scratching his head]] http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060509.html |
| Beetlebum | {{Title Text: Beetlebum}}
/ {{Rollover Text: DARKNESS IMPRISONING ME - ALL THAT I SEE - ABSOLUTE HORROR - I CANNOT...}} / [[Poopmnster and Jeffrey in the city drinking coffee and beer respectively]]
/ Poopmonster: Don't make eye contact with him DO NOT.
/ Jeffrey: Who, that guy?
/ Poopmonster: Crap. / Beetle Bailey: I GOT AGENT ORANGE, GULF WAR SYNDROME, PTSD, BIPOLAR, AND MY LEGS CHOPPED OFF BY INSURGENTS AND THE GOV'MENT WON'T PAY ME NO DISABILITY!!
/ Jeffrey: Do you take Paypal?
/ Beetle Bailey: WHAT?
/ Jeffrey: Just take my card! / Jeffrey: Ware is hell, isn't it the Poopmonster?
/ Poopmonster: Don't you talk about Hell like that.
/ Jeffrey: Sorry. http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060510.html |
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