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The Creator {{Title Text: The Creator}} / {{Rollover Text: Notmally eBay stops you after searching for 'bone saw'}} / [[Jeffrey and an 11 year old (Winter McCloud]] / INTERVIEW WITH AN 11-YEAR OLD / 11-Year Old: Tell me, Jeffrey Rowland. What were your childhood hobbies? / Jeffrey: <<(thinking) Hmm...>> / [[Jeffrey imagines four scenarios: him witha gun, him rinking, him getting punched and him throwing up from his youth]] / Jeffrey: Horseback riding.
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060511.html
Deoxyribonucleic Awesome [[ Jeffrey is in a laboratory, wearing rubber gloves, a white lab coat and goggles on his head. He holds a cylindrical container labelled "HORSE DNA". Two other containers on the table in front of him are labelled "BIRD DNA" and "RHINOCER[OUS] DNA" ]] / Narrator: SCIENCE KORNER / Jeffrey: Today I'm going to show you how to make a real live unicorn using only common household items like horse DNA. / [[ Jeffrey stirs a bowl filled with a red substance ]] / Jeffrey: Next you mix the DNA, but be careful not to get your DNA in the mix. Human DNA is designed specifically by God Himself 1 and should not be altered in any way. / Footnote 1: THE BIBLE, HOLY EDITION, PAGE 381 / [[ Close up of a gloved hand stained with the red substance, pressing a button labelled BRING (illegible). Another button is labelled KILL ]] / Jeffrey: Then pop it in the accelerator. If you don't own an accelerator, just set it near a cell phone overnight. / [[ Jeffrey, smiling with glee ]] / Jeffrey: Eureka! / [[ A beige misshapen blob of a creature, with various animal parts protruding: bird wing and foot, pig hoof, rhinocerous snout, etc. ]]
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060512.html
Paxil Shmaxil Jeff: It says here that Paxil causes kids to commit Suicide! / Weedmaster P: HEH HEH / Weedmaster P: I GUESS THAT'S ONE WAY TO CURE DEPRESSION / Jeff: one more crack like that and I'll bust you down to sergeant, Weedmaster P! / Weedmaster P: HEY MAN I'M NOT THE ONE PRESCRIBIN' SYNTHETIC BRAIN DRUGS TO EVERY KID WHO POSTS A SAD POEM ON MYSPACE / Jeff: You're just jealous 'cause Paxil's legal and pot isn't! / Weedmaster P: HEY MAN I AINT NEVER WANTED TO OFF MYSELF 'CAUSE I BURNED ONE / Weedmaster P: WELL JUST ONE TIME
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060514.html
The Illiterate Princess, Part 1 [[Once upon a time, There was a problem]] / princess: What does this say? / princess: Topato, I lack the ability to read! / Topato: I beg your pardon, your Majesty! I have direct, intimate knowledge that you maintain and regularly update a popular ĘtherWeb Log! / princess: No, Topato! I can decipher information from the ĘtherWeb because it is almost entirely jibberish! I have never learned to decipher an actual intelligent communique! / Topato: Then Sheriff Pony and I will teach you. / princess: Yay! / {{Imagine if almost everything on the Earth Internet was almost entirely jibberish...}}
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060516.html
The Illiterate Princess, Part 2 Topato: There is one thing I do no understand, my liege. Why would a young, attractive female of your social standing even be required to read for any reason. / Princess: I want to get a Job! / Topato: But Princess, with all due respect there isn't a legitimate occupation in this Galaxy that would be appropriate for your... appalling lack of worthwhile characteristics / Princess: I can do lots of stuff Topato! I can float. / Topato: Every living thing in this Universe can float, my dear.
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060517.html
 
The Illiterate Princess, Part 3 {Title Text: The Illiterate Princess, Part 3}} / {{Rollover TExt: The Holly Lewis Tragedy is widely regarded as the most terrible tragedy of the d...}} / [[Sheriff Pony, Topato and Princess are in the lab]] / Topato: Sheriff Pony, we need to plug the Princess into the cramapulator. / Sheriff Pony:But, Topato, the cramapulator is only to be used on ROBOTS! / Sheriff Pony: It would kill a bio unit five seconds before it seriously considered interfacing with it. You KNOW this! / Topato: But the Holly Lewis Tragedy... I was lead to believe that was a fluke incident! / Sheriff pony: And we are no longer welcome in the Gravy Oblisk. An inappopriately DELICATE punishment in my opinion. / Topato: This situation is utterly without hope. We are doomed. / Sheriff Pony: No! We will go to the library and acquire some books! It is out solemn duty to teach Princess to read... / BEFORE midnight!!
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060518.html
The Illiterate Princess, Part 4 {{Title Text: The Illiterate Princess, Part 4}} / {{Rollover Text: MooMooCorns are notoriously bad at martial arts}} / [[Topato, Sheriff Pony and the Princess in the lab] / Topato: Midnight is nearly a WEEK from now! I demand expediated results. / Sherrif Pony: When precisely did you ceae to consider how difficult it's going to be to teach our Princess to read? It's like teaching karate to a plastic MooMooCorn! / File Photo [[picture of a plactic MooMooCorn]] / Topato: Sheriff Pony, are you suggesting that we use EFFORT to complete this task? / Sherif Pny: I am sorry, Topato. / The Library [[Princess and Sheriff Pony in the library, Princess is sitting at a table with a book in front of her]] / Princess: How do you operate this device, Sheriff? Where is the switch? / Sheriff: Princess, that is a BOOK! It requires no power; it is always on! / Princess: HERESY!!
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060519.html
The Illiterate Princess, Part 5 {{Title Text: The Illiterate Princess, Part 5}} / {{Rollover Text: Buh buh buh book.}} / Princess: An information device cannot operate without power! I DEMAND that this devilish building be burned to the ground IMMEDIATELY! / Topato: I will submit the request. / Sheriff Pony: No! Many hundreds of eons ago, information was dispalyed on bits of pressed "wood." These "sheets" were attached in stacks. The device was clled a "book." / Princess b...buh...oooooook? / MORE LATERER / Proncess: This is not a valid language! There are no numerals randomely placed in the alpha clusters! / Princess: Am I expected to create visual imagery using only the dim power of my imagination? I demand IMAX. / Sheriff Pny: Princess, the joy of reading lies in the beauty one's own imagination can conjur up!
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060520.html
The Illiterate Princess, Part 6 {{Title Text: The Illiterate Princess, Part 6}} / {{Rollover Text: The Khans of Wrath}} / [[Princess, Topato and Sheriff Pny are at the library]] / [[Topato wears a Helmet] / Princess: Well that is the end result of this unending stream of chaos? / Sheriff Pony: Eventually you discover that the monster at the end of the book is in fact Grover HIMSELF! / [[series of pictures of Princess learning to read: book titles include The Catcher in the Event Horizon and Moby Xenu]] / [[Topato and Sheriff Pony both have beards]] / Princess: I did it! I can interpret actual written language! / Topato: In the nick of time! Now remind us of the reason this was considered neessary. / Sheriff Pony: Yay!
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060521.html
It Is My Birthday Again {{Title Text: It Is My Birthday Again}} / {{Rollover Text: A Good Rapper Always Loves His Mother}} / Another year passes and once again I face a terrible truth... / Jeffrey (thinking): I will never be a famous rapper. / I've got the rhymes but my style is wack / Jeffrey: My name is Jeffresy and I'm here to say I love Fruity Pebbles in a major way / Weedmaster P: HA HA YOU'RE EVEN OLDER AND YOU STILL AIN'T A RAPPER / Jeffrey: But I love my Mom! I may never be a famous rapper but I love my Mom. / Weedmaster P: LOAN ME FIVE DOLLARS / Jeffrey: Yo I'm J-Ro and I love my Mom I live in Massachusetts and I got a dot com I think I'm pretty happy most of the time I'm nice to everyone and don't commit no crimes
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060522.html
 
Take a Hike What a stupid idea to climb a mountain for my birthday...Oh God, a HOWLING BEAR!! / Ah, maybe this was a good idea! I feel like Paris Hilton at a Lamborghini store. / Cruel fate! Done in by my own hubris! Doomed! / And in my final pleasant thought I was comparing myself to Paris Hilton...This better be painful.
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060523.html
Cannon Shooting AAAH! Well I should at least try to make my final thought awesome. / I need like, 10 Lamborghinis. / Right away, Miss Hilton. Do you have any specific preferences? / Anything but yelllow. / Do you have any cannons big enough to fit a Lamborghini? / Y...yes? / I need like, five. / Now we can shoot Lamborghinis at each other! / I love you so much, Jeffrey Rowland. / I know.
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060524.html
When Goatse Met Tubgirl DUDE I'M WRITING A LOVE STORY ABOUT THE TUBGIRL AND THE GOATSE MAN / I fell off a mountain and now I have a new attitude about life! / IT'S CALLED WHEN TUBGIRL MET GOATSE. IT'S LIKE GREASE MEETS THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST MEETS BATTLEFIELD EARTH / I was plummeting to my death when suddenly an invisible hand gently set me on the ground! / WHAT DRAWS THESE PEOPLE TOGETHER IS THAT EVERYONE ON THE INTERNET HAS SEEN THEIR COLONS / You can't see Tubgirl's colon. She just poops onto her own face. / THE ESSENCE OF HER COLON
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060525.html
Hugs Not Jihads Apparently enough time has passed so that it's OK for people to have conspiracy theories about nine-eleven. / OF COURSE IT WAS A HUGE CONSPIRACY AIN'T NONE OF IT MAKES ANY SENSE. / I have a conspiracy theory! / "NOT HUGGING ENOUGH" IS NOT A CONSPIRACY THEORY, BABY. / It's true, though. Hugs not jihads. / Baby, in some cultures hugging is considered an act of terrorism. / Then we ought to find those cultures and blow them to kingdom come!
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060526.html
Horse Party Happy birthday, Spicer. I didn't know what to get you because, well, I've never been to a birthday party for a horse before. / I'll open it for you. / It's a Gameboy DS! It's got wireless crappability and a little touchy screen so you can draw pictures of horse dongs!
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060529.html
 
The Summer of Ooze I got us all Oozinators! This is gonna be the summer of Bio-Ooze! / Prepare to meet your milky, white maker, J-Ro! / EAT THAT BIO OOZE SHIT TURDS / HA HA / Tee hee hee! / RAAAAARGH!
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060530.html
Life Equals Love Equals Death How come you ehn't got a girlfriend, Jeffrey? / The same reason I ain't got plants, Baby. Because they die. / But everybody dies! / Yeah, I noticed al the cemetaries. / Jeffrey, slow down!! / What's the matter, Baby? Afraid you might die? / YO GIVE UP THE HOVER BIKE / I ain't goin' out like that. / Jeffrey, no! / Meanwhile
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060531.html
Computers Make You Cuss Weedmaster P: SON OF A DICK / Weedmaster P: BALL COCKS / Weedmaster P: NO / Weedmaster P: FUCKING / Jeffrey: Stop cussing so much! It makes Joanna uncomfortable! / Weedmaster P: MAN I WAS TRYIN TO HACK A NODE AND THE SHITBOX WENT TITS UP / Alert box: What the fuck are you gonna do now? / Inactive radio button: This is fucked up / Active radio button: This is blowing my mind / Alert box: OK; Cancel / Jeffrey: Your computer is *stoned.* / Weedmaster P: Oh, okay. / {{title text: This is possibly the result of a rootkit on a Snoop Dogg CD.}}
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060601.html
It Is What It Is [[floating in space]] / Poopmaster: The best thing that could happen to the environment is the extinction of the human race. / {{poopmaster normally wears a cape in Jeffrey's comics}} / Baby: But what's the point of Earth if nobody's here to enjoy it? / [[jeffrey not wearing a shirt, still floating in space]] / Jeffrey: The Earth was here at least four billion years before people even thought about putting pictures of their genitals on the interwub. / Weedmaster P: THERE'S ALSO A LOT OF PICTURES OF PEOPLE THOWING UP / {{weedmaster P almost always speaks in all caps}} / Jeffrey: There sure are. / Baby: What do you call it when you don't want to live or die? / Jeffrey: Don't worry, Baby! Eventually the universe will cease to exist and the entire pointless cycle will begin again! / Poopmaster: Or not! / Jeffrey: Or not.
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060602.html
An Unreasonable Request [[Jeffrey and Baby are indoors. Jeffrey is wearing a tux. Baby gives Jeffrey the phone.]] / Baby: Telephone, Jeffrey. I think it's The Englishman. / Jeffrey: How *dare* he interrupt my graceful composition! / [[The Englishman is inside a stately home. He is wearing a bluetooth headset and carrying a ferret.]] / The Englishman: Jeffrey! I'm amazed you aren't in some sort of rehabilitation centre! / [[Jeffrey rips his clothes off.]] / Jeffrey: The Englishman!? / The Englishman: I was wondering if your country's obese, ignorant, slack-jawed masses could stop filing lawsuits against fast food restaurants for a few days and show an Englishman a little hospitality! / The Englishman: What do you mean impossible?
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060605.html
 
Concorde {{title: Concorde}} / [[Jeffrey and the Poopmonster are outdoors near a forest.]] / The Poopmonster: The Englishman will be here any minute. / Jeffrey: I hate it when the Englishman comes! / [[A Concorde wooshes overhead in the background]] / <> / Jeffrey: He always makes us feel like turds! / [[The Concorde has the Scary Go Round banner on the side. A note drops from the plane.]] / [[The Poopmonster catches the note.]] / <> / Jeffrey: The Englishman's plane is so much cleaner than mine. / Gentlemen, / Please refrain from gawking at my aeroplane with jaws agape. This is not a monster truck pull. Please behave in a civilised manner. / The Englishman.
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060606.html
Evaluation Version {{Title Text: Evaluation Version}} / {{Rollover Text: I Want All The American People To Understand that it is Understandable that the...}} / [[Everyone is at The Englishman's Powerpoint evaluation of America]] / Jeffrey: Come on, everybody. It's time for The Englishman's evaluation. / The Englishman: I... I'm absolutely APALLED at the state of affairs in America. At precisely what point did you become a nation of drug-addicted, shiftless, intolerant layabouts whose leaders make the ethics of a HYENA seem humane by comparison? / Jeffrey: Now listen here, The Englishman. Americans may be a bunch of fat, lazy, chronically-depressed morons who feed their ignorant children pure sugar and complain about how much it costs to fuel their 2-ton SUVs and have abandoned the very concept of liberty, but know this: We aren't responsible for ANY of our personal actions. / The Englishman: Well I NEVER.
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060607.html
Guns N' Bullets Jeffrey: Baby and Weedmaster P, you have to make sure TopatoCo doesn't burn down while I'm at the art festival in New York. / Weedmaster P: How come we can't go man / Baby: Yeah! / Jeffrey: Y'all ain't nerdy enough to go to an indie comics nerds festival. Plus Moby might be there again. / Weedmaster P: How I hate Moby... / [[Jeffrey, the Englishman, and the Poopmonster are in an arms store. Jeffrey is holding a box of 1000 bullets and the Englishman and the Poopmonster are both holding guns]] / Jeffrey: OK are you guys about ready to go to the festival? / Poopmonster: I think we need to stop at Wal-Mart and get some more bullets. / Jeffrey: Oh, we're also out of paper towels. / {{title text: Guns N' Bullets}} / {{sometimes you have to make other people suffer for your art}}
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060608.html
Decorum {{Title Text: Decorum}} / {{Rollover Text: Sometimes You Have to Make Other People Suffer For Your Art}} / {Guest drawn by John Allison}} / Wednesday / The Englishman: Hello, I'm The Englishman. I'm here to bring a sense of decorum. / Weedmaster P: DICK ASS / Thursday / Jeffrey: Man Johnny is such a pompous ass, he won't even let me draw my own dang comic. I just wanna live my life my own dang way. / Friday: / Baby: Jeffrey, The Englishman says he's going to MARRY me! The QUEEN is going to be there! / Jeffrey: It's like he's sucked all the joy out of FREEDOM.
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060609.html
Showdown At The Puck Building <> / Jeffrey Rowland: Driving a van in Manhattan kicks Ass! / Narrator: BUT THE GOOD TIMES DON'T LAST / Jeffrey Rowland: Get out of our way, "Gayfree Press." We've got fans to delight with our charming ways. / NOTORIOUS JEPH: Rowland, you've got an attitude problem. / Jeffrey Rowland: Yo, I don't got an attitude problem. I got an attitude solution / [[A crudely drawn White Ninja from www.whiteninjacomics.com holds a gun]]
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060612.html
 
Showdown At The Puck Building Part 2 Jeffrey Rowland: Now let's just all settle down God dang it! / Poopmonster: I invented the genre of young adults navel-gazing in a contemporary comic setting! / Jeph Jacques: You've got an attitude problem! / [[A gun fires]] / [[A bullet travels at Jeffrey Rowland]] / Jon Rosenberg: NOOOOO!! / [[Jon Rosenberg leaps in front of Jeffrey Rowland taking the bullet in his place. Money flies through the air]] / Jeffrey Rowland: You killed him! You killed Mr. Jon Rosenberg! He was my favorite male Jewish friend! / Jeffrey Rowland: You sons of bitches / Jon Rosenberg: Relax Jeffrey! We're just kidding! / [[Beams of light rise up from the city towards the sky]] / [[The same beams of light radiate away from the Earth into space]]
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060613.html
I am Chris Gaines {{Title Text: I am Chris Gaines}} / {{Rollover Text: Chris Gaines is the Dread Pirate Roberts of Garth Brooks pseudonyms}} / Jeffrey: God dnag it, I wish CHRIS GAINES would come out with a new album already! / Weedmaster P: YOU TURD FACE RETARD THERE AIN'T NO SUCH THING AS CHRIS GAINES / Jeffrey: What? / Weedmaster P: CHRIS GAINES WAS AN ACCIDENT-PRONE ROCKER GUY THAT GARTH BROOKS MADE UP / EVERYONE THOUGHT GARTH BROOKS HAD GONE MUY LOCO / Jeffrey: You can't abandom your dream just because its stupid and everyone thinks you're insane! (thinking) I know what I must do... / [[Jeffrey outdoors dressed as Chris Gaines]] / Jeffrey: I'm Chris Gaines bitch!
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060615.html
All My Dogs {{Title Text: All My Dogs}} / {{Rollover Text: Chris Gaines wants to be as addicted to you as he is to owning hundreds of dogs}} / Baby: Jeffrey, don't run off and leave the toilet like that. / Jeffrey: Jeffrey don't live here no more. My name is Gaines. CHRIS Gaines. / Baby: Chris Gaines? Isn't he that guy Garth Brooks made up when he went mad? / Jeffrey: That's the OLD Chris Gaines, Baby! I only ride bulls that are EXTREMELY insane! I kick it CRAZY school! / Jeffrey: (singing) Well I was drinkin' I started thinkin' Thinkin' about all my dogs I got a lotta dogs I read a lotta blogs I got a blog about my dogs chorus I got so many dogs I can barely count 'em! More than a hundred, more than a thousand! I'm addicted to dogs, it's true / Now I wanna be addicted to you.
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060616.html
Mo Money Mo Problems Business Man: The new Chris Gaines is gonna make Gnarls Barkley look like Creed! Paris Hilton is waxing your new private jet so it looks nice for your world tour! / Reporter: Chris, is it true you're really webcartoonist Jeffrey Rowland gone completely insane? / Chris Gaines: I'll never tell! / [[While aboard a plane, a snake slithers near Chris Gaines' head]] / [[Smoke from what might be the plane is seen rising from a mountain]]
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060619.html
A Pant Baby: Jeffrey, are these your pants? / Jeffrey: Are those my pants!? / Jeffrey: How many things am i holding in my hand? One. It is one single item. It should not be pluralized. It is a pant, okay? / Baby: I'm only askin' 'cause if they are your pants then you should go to a doctor right away / Jeffrey: Why don't i go to a pair of doctors which are for no reason whatsoever, only one doctor?
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060620.html
 

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