You're browsing the archives of Overcompensating.
You can search these comics too.

show: [ full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]

Black Water Weedmaster P: Man I wish I had me a job where I could just kill anybody I wanted to without consequence / Jeffrey: I've got just the thing! / [[A sign for Blackwater USA]] / Sign: Shoot. Shoot. Shoot shoot shoot. Asking questions is for sissies. / Sign: BLACKWATER / Sign: Like the army except you make twenty times more money and it's impossible to get in trouble for anything. / Jeffrey: Oh no, it looks like they drug-test. / Weedmaster P: GOD DAMMIT / Jeffrey: I'm just kidding, they don't care about that either. / Weedmaster P: See ya. Wouldn't wanna be ya
False Starts [[Comic is overlaid on a rough sketch]] / Jeffrey: I'm turnin' into a dang old hermit, Joanna! I'm like the Unabomber except I enjoy computers and I'm too scared to make a bomb. / [[Jeffrey and Tallahassee are at a desk next to sacks labeled "BILLS"]] / Jeffery: Man, bein' a cartoonin' cowboy-poet business man is too hard. I should do what the government wants and get an actual job. / Tallahassee: You hate normal people and you cry when they talk about sports. / Jeffrey: Oh yeah. / {{Title Text: I have so many of these.}} / {{Caption: IN SOVIET RUSSIA AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL COMIC DRAMATICALLY EXAGGERATES YOU}}
a class="searchlink" href="http://overcompensating.com/posts/20071106.html?ref=nf">http://overcompensating.com/posts/20071106.html?ref=nf [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
Lay N' Spray Jeffrey: Hey! You guys are just in time. My new Lay-N-Spray Waterboarding Fun Kit has just arrived! Who wants to try it first? / Weedmaster P: Me Me Me Me / Chris Hastings: Um / Jeph Jacques: Hey / Jeffrey: We have company, Weedmaster P. / Jeffrey: See, Mr. Hastings? Deathmole Jack only feels like he's drowning. / Chris Hastings: I think he is dying / Jeph Jacques: MMM!! / Jeph Jacques: URRM! MMM! / Jeph Jacques: Ha ha! It felt like I was drowning, but I knew I wasn't drowning so it definitely wasn't torture because I'm still alive! / Jeffrey: Your turn, Mr. Hastings. / Chris Hastings: No
Everything Sucks Weedmaster P: You know everything sucks when the U.S. dollar is cheaper than the Canadian dollar and all the news talks about is a bounty hunter with a mullet that said the N-word / Jeffrey: That's not true! / Jeffrey: Everything doesn't truly suck until you're asleep with your mouth open and a dang snake crawls into your mouth. / Weedmaster P: Oh god / Jeffrey: And you wake up and you can't do anything because you're completely paralyzed. / Weedmaster P: Okay okay / Jeffrey: Also you have scurvy.
 
OVERCOMPENSATING: The Journal Comic With a Seething Disdain for Reality. Giant Black box: WHEN YOU STARE INTO ME, I STARE BACK.
The Morning Anxiety [[Jeffrey, lying in bed and holding a small clock]] / Jeffrey: Oh my goodness, Joanna, it's 6:15... Shouldn't the sun be up by now? / [[Jeffrey is looking out the window wearing underwear that reads, "SASSY" on the back]] / Jeffrey: Did the sun burn out? Did an asteroid hit the moon and push it closer to the Earth? Did the Earth stop spinning? / [[Jeffrey looks worried]] / Jeffrey: Did God find out about all the butt-sex? / {{Title text: Lord God did a spit-take when He found out about all the Butt-Sex. Then He pissed on the sun.}} / {{Caption: LORD GOT TOLD YOU SPECIFICALLY NOT TO PUT THAT THERE.}}
The Weed Kicks In Weedmaster P: I want to make a webcomic Jeffrey / Jeffrey: You don't have what it takes, Weedmaster P! / Jeffrey: It takes hard work, dedication, and a complete lack of judgment! / Jeffrey: Or you could just make a bunch of dumb references to pop culture and mention Cory Doctorow. That guy links to any comic that mentions his name. / Weedmaster P: Let me take over your comic Jeffrey. / [[This panel is drawn in a completely different art style.]] / Weedmaster P: You need a vacation anyways Jeffrey. / Jeffrey: A vacation from what? / Weedmaster P: Being a whiny fatass jerkoff
Demonic Invader I woke up at one o' clock in the afternoon but I went to bed at noon. / When you have huge muscles like me, it's hard to get to sleep sometimes because your muscles just want to keep kicking ass. / Suddenly I noticed someone else in the room. / It was Usama Bin Laden, all seven foot of him. / Or was it? / For one thing, Usama Bin Laden doesn't have glowing red eyes. / Also, he doesn't turn into a demon when you jump at him. / Not anymore. / {{Comment: A CIA sniper took out Osama Bin Laden's demon gland and that's why he's on dialysis}}
Shout at the Devil Shout at the Devil / Weedmaster P: THIS WAS NO ORDINARY DEMON THOUGH / SEWED-UP EYES / GENGIS KHAN'S SWORD / MOHAMMED'S WATCH / THIS WAS THE MAIN DOGG / BEELZEBUB THE DARK LORD OF THE DARK / FORTUNATELY I KNEW HIS SECRET WEAKNESS / JUST SCREAM HIS OLD NAME BACKWARDS AS LOUD AS YOU CAN / SUDDENLY HE TURNED INTO A STINKING PUDDLE OF CRAP AND GOOP / AND THEN RIGHT THEN LORD GOD APPEARED AND RIPPED MY HOUSE OF THE FOUNDATION / God: WEEDMASTER P YOU KILLED THE DEVIL / Weedmaster P: YOU'RE WELCOME / God: WELL NOW I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO
 
Where Are They Now Where Are They Now / Narration: Fans of popular music bands in 1984 and what they are doing now / [["Mötley Crüe" written in background]] / Mötley Crüe fan: Building 7 was a controlled demolition! 9-11 was an inside job!! / [["Van Halen" and logo in background, a stereotypical older white guy is in an SUV]] / stereotypical older white Van Halen fan: New that tax season is over maybe I'll run for city council... / Sarah would like that. / [["Rush" in background]] / Rush fan: I just wrote a program that can accuratley pinpoint Geddy Lee's location at all times! / Small text across bottom of strip: Van Halen guy is married. His wife's name isn't Sarah. / Hovertext: They guy that into Toto runs the hot tub store.
Ninjas Have Feelings Also Dr. Hastings: This sandwich is remarkable, Jeffrey! Truly a breakthrough in sandwich technology. / Jeffrey: How do you eat a sandwich with that dang old ninja helmet on your head, Dr. Hastings? / Dr. Hastings: *sigh* / Dr. Hastings: *sniff* / Dr. Hastings: Just take me home. I'm not hungry anymore. / Narrator: A little later / Jeffrey: ...all I did was axe him how he ate food through his ninja mask and he got upset! / Tallahassee: Oh, Jeffrey... / Tallahassee: What you did was WRONG. What you did was... / Tallahassee: Anti-ninjitic!! / {{title text: This is the equivalent of asking a Native American where his food stamps are.}}
Gas Station Ghost [[Jeffrey stands in a gas station in only his underwear holding a petrol pump. A dead body is nearby.]] / Jeffrey: G-Gas Station Ghost? Wh-what are you doing in my incredibly realistic lucid dream? / Ghost: THIIIS IS NOT A DREEAM JEFFREY / Jeffrey: Are you sure because I'm pretty sure I'm just really good at lucid dreaming! / Ghost: NOO YOU ACTUALLY JUST KILLED AAAL PEOPLE FOR REEEAL / Jeffrey: Oh crap! All those people... also... ghosts are real? / Ghost: NOOOO I'M JUST A BUUG CRAWLING AROUND ON THE CAAAMERA LENS
Dennis Kuninich's Safari Planet [[Jeff is lying in gutter with alcohol]] / Jeff: Man, there ain't nobody gonna vote for me for pres'dent. I'm just gonna drink myself to death in this gutter. / [[Dennis Kucinich approaches]] / Dennis Kucinich: Don't give up hope. Nobody's gonna vote for me because they don't have the guts. Name's Kucinich. Dennis Kucinich. / Dennis Kucinich: I'm smart, I don't put up with any crap, and to be perfectly honest, my wife makes Jackie O look like common street trash. / Elizabeth Kucinich: Dennis... / Jeff: Who wouldn't vote for you? / [[Dennis Kucinich approaches Brian Fellows]] / Dennis Kuchinich: You, sir! Who will you be voting for on election day? / Brian Fellows: Ah'm votin' fo' Ruby Giuliabby 'cause he safed Norf America from them Iraq attacks back in World War 73! / {{Alt-text reads: I actually creeped myself out on how accurately I drew Brian Fellows.}} / {{Text underneath comic reads: Brian Fellows is also voting Giuliabby because Matt Ronnie tried to kill his dog}}
Thanksgiving 2007 Jeffrey: Wow, a gigantic electric horse! At long last Lord Xenu has answered my demands! / Great Spirit of Native America: No Jeffrey, it is I, The Great Spirit of Native America. / Great Spirit of Native America: Today is Thanksgiving and as a Native Person it is your duty to run around making white people feel guilty. / Jeffrey: Aw, man! I was gonna go to the Injun Casino and get wasted! / Jeffrey: Hey white lady, did you know the settlers at Jamestown planned for winters so poorly they cannibalized Native Americans? / Scared White Lady: Here's $20! Please don't hurt us! / Jeffrey: You just gave me a picture of the son of a bitch that approved the Indian Removal Act! / Jeffrey: [[standing in front of a liquor store]] Hmm... / {{Subtext: While I disagree with the Indian Removal Act, I wouldn't exist if it hadn't happened}} / {{Alt-text:Assless chaps, mohawk, twenty bucks, zombie cat in a wicker baby sling and an open liquor store. Hit it.}}
 
Chupacabra Week Part 1 Chupacabra Week Part 1 / [[Weepmaster P is dressed as a priest and holding a Bible upside-down]] / Weedmaster P: JEFFREY DID YOU KNOW THERE'S A PART OF THE BIBLE THAT IS ABOUT CHUPACABRAS / Jeffrey: No there's not, Weedmaster P. You just believe that on account of you just smoked a joint laced with aqua-dots. / Weedmaster P: No / Weedmaster P: AND LO THE BLOOD OF THE GOAT WAS SUCKLED BY THE BREAST OF NIGHT, BORN OF WOLF-MAN AND ANGEL / Jeffrey: What? Is that saying Chupacabras are the unholy offspring of werewolves and angels? / Weedmaster P: BACK IN THE OLDEN DAYS PEOPLE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT A SPACE ALIEN WAS SO THEY JUST CALLED 'EM ANGELS / Jeffrey: How come in my brain a wolf-man having sex with an alien seems less weird than a wolf-man having sex with an angel? / Small text at bottom of strip: Clearly I am not correctly envisioning this particular scenario / Hovertext: Weedmaster P is my fact-checkin' cuz
Chupacabra Week Part 2 Jeffrey: I noticed you've been pretty obsessed with el Chupacabra lately, Weedmaster P. How come? / Weedmaster P: Oh you know / Weedmaster P: I caught me one / Jeffrey: WHAT?! / Weedmaster P: Follow me / Weedmaster P: I'll show you it / Narrator: Much time passes / Jeffrey: We've been walkin' for HOURS in silence! Where's the dang chupacabra? / Weedmaster P: What are you TALKING about / ---ALTERNATE ENDING--- / Narrator: Much time passes / Jeffrey: We've been walkin' for HOURS in silence! Where's the dang Chupacabra? / Weedmaster P: In here / Baby: You forgot to get Kleeny Wipes! You always forget to get Kleeny Wipes! / {{title text: Nearly three hours pass between panels 3 and 4 and not a word is spoken.}}
Chupacabra Week Part 3 Chupacabra Week Part 3 / Jeffrey: Wow! You got a real live Chupacabra! / Weedmaster P: I KNOW IT'S PRETTY WILD HUH / Jeffrey: Did you call Loren Coleman? / Weedmaster P: WHO / [[Jeffrey reaches out to the Chupacabra under glass]] / Jeffrey: Aw but it looks all sad and I suddenly decided to have a strong opinion about keeping aminals in cages... / [[Weedmaster P jump-kicks Jeffrey across the face]] / Weedmaster P: NO / Jeffrey: AGH / [[Baby points to Joanna who is missing her left leg and much of the surrounding area]] / Baby: Jeffrey! Look at what that thing did you Joanna! / Small text across bottom of strip: Aminals shouldn't be kept in cages unless they can hurt people or poop everywhere / Hovertext: The Chupacabra doesn't need air because it breathes blood.
Chupacabra Week Part 4 [[Jeffrey and Joanna are in front of a Chupacabra inside a glass jar. Joanna has a bite taken out of her]] / Jeffrey: Lookit what that mean ol' Chupacabra did to you, Joanna! Now we're gonna have to build a little indestructible tank for you to ride around on! / Joanna (thinks): ! / [[Baby is holding a Wikipedia box]] / Baby: It ehn't serious, Jeffrey. 'Cordin' t' Wikipedia, zombies grow their parts back like a salamander. / Weedmaster P: WE GOT TO RETURN THE CHUPACABRA BACK TO ITS NATURAL HABITAT THOUGH / Jeffrey: What's the natural habitat of a Chupacabra? / Joanna (thinks): :( / [[Weedmaster P steps on something looking like Meatwad from Aqua Teen Hunger Force as the Chupacabra attempts to escape its glass prison.]] / Weedmaster P: I FIGURE IT'S EITHER OLDE MEXICO OR THE BUSINESS END OF A GOAT... OR SPACE / Jeffrey: Which end of a goat is the business end? / Weedmaster P: WHATEVER END A CHUPACABRA IS GNAWIN' ON / {{Caption: FORTUNATELY FOR JOANNA, WIKIPEDIA IS SOMETIMES WRONG}}
OVERCOMPENSATING: The Journal Comic With a Seething Disdain for Reality. [[ A sleek grey sports car speeds along a desert road with a chupacabra wrapped like a burrito and strapped to the roof. ]] / Jeffrey: I got an illegal chupacabra strapped to the top of my car and I'm takin' it back to Olde Mexico... / [[ Jeffrey hunched at the wheel of the car. He wears a yellow sombrero. ]] / Jeffrey (thinking): Do I feel more like Mitt Romney or Ron Paul? / [[ Single panel depicting Jeffrey driving the car up a dirt ramp, then leaping from the car before it crashes into the border wall between the United States and Mexico. The force of the impact sends the roof-bound chupacabra hurtling over the wall into Mexico amid the cacti. ]] / <> / [[ Jeffrey lands on one knee, arms outstretched, with hat still on head. ]] / Jeffrey (thinking): Neither. / [[ Jeffrey, walking barefoot towards the desert horizon. ]] / Off-panel Voice #1: Augh! / Off-panel Voice #2: No! No! No! / Jeffrey (thinking): I did what's right for America. / [[ Desert landscape showing small earthen dwellings, cacti, buttes, a sign displaying the number 149, and the now freed chupacabra. ]]
 
Tank Cat Tank Cat / Narrator(?): Jeffrey what are you doing, man? / Jeffrey: Joanna's bottom half ain't growin' back like they said so I'm buildin' 'er a little robotic tank. / [[Joanna is armpit deep in what looks like a tiny pink convertible with tank treads instead of wheels and some joysticks poking out near her hands.]] / [[In this contraption, Joanna speeds off toward a piece of furniture that has a bottle of some kind on it. Her licence plate reads "ZOME"]] / <> / [[Joanna collides with the furniture and sends the bottle airborne.]] / <> / [[Here we see the bottle mid-air, cap falling off, and sporting a label that reads "Black Death Vodka" and features a top-hatted skull.]] / [[The bottle is headed neck-first into Joanna's mouth. Joanna smiles.]] / [[Joanna has caught the bottle in her mouth and is, presumabley, drinking the contents.]] / [[A relatively large cannon turret emerges from the front of Joannas cat tank.]] / <> / [[The cannon is fired.]] / <> / [[The outside of a house has a small projectile busting through its wall. The projectile is flying toward an expensive-looking black car.]] / [[An explosion destroys the car, hurling bits of it into the air.]] / <> / Narrator: Jeffrey why did you put a cannon on the tank? Your cat blew up your car. / Jeffrey: HOORAY! / Small text across bottom of strip: Tank cat is on a spree. / Hovertext: this is why insurance is so expensive
Horrible Things [[Jeffrey and Tallahassee standing around in an office type room. Tallahassee has a gun]] / Jeffrey: Tallahassee, I'm worried something horrible is gonna happen to me! / Tallahassee: Don't worry, Jeffrey. If something is horrible enough your brain won't remember it happened. / [[Jeffrey and Tallahassee on the roof of a building. Behind them is a Monster. Tallahassee is jumping off the roof with Jeffrey in tow]] / Jeffrey: But I'll be aware of it while it's happening, right? / Tallahassee: Oh yeah. But it won't matter because later you won't be able to remember. / [[Monster looks angry. Jeffrey and Tallahassee are free falling]] / Jeffrey: How horrible does a thing have to be before your brain won't remember it? / Tallahassee: About this horrible.
Internets Weedmaster P: Man this is bullshit - I just heard a old lady say "Internets" on purpose / Jeffrey: Yeah, calling the internet weird little variations of "internet" is the new calling something "the new hotness." / Weedmaster P: Well what the hell are we supposed to do now / Jeffrey: I guess we'll have to start calling it "internet" again. / Jeffrey: or just stop talking about the internet / Weedmaster P: Wait a minute what are we supposed to call something that's not old and busted then / Jeffrey: "Big Willlie Style"
Service Snakes Service Snakes / [[A gun shop has sign reading "GUN HUT" is in the background. Jeffrey has entered with a snake on a leash. A smaller sign taped to the counter reads "Bullets 50¢ each."]] / Gun Hut employee: Hey kid, you can't bring a snake into a gun shop! It's too dangerous! / Jeffrey: I can too! This here's a service snake! I got papers. / Jeffrey: I got a bum Jacobson's organ on account of not bein' a snake, and this little feller helps me with my bein' vomeronasally challenged. / Gun Hut employee: Sorry, kid! I had no idea! What can I do ya for? / Jeffrey: Do they make a gun that a snake can shoot? / Gun Hut employee: The Snakehawk Pro! Designed for amputees. / Jeffrey: One dozen, please. / Small text across bottom of strip: Guns don't kill people unbalanced people with access to guns kill people. / Hovertext: Service Snake is also Solid Snake's differently-abled cousin.
65 Million BC Truth Weedmaster P: HEY YOU KNOW HOW ANIMALS LIKE KNOW THAT SOME SHIT IS GONNA GO DOWN BEFORE IT HAPPENS LIKE EARTHQUAKES AND TSUNAMIS / Jeffrey: Yeah because animals have psychic abilities. / [[Asteroids are about to clobber a landscape filled with dinosaurs. One of the dinosaurs has a malevolent smirk.]] / Weedmaster P: I BET THE DINOSAURS KNEW THAT ASTEROID WAS GONNA HIT BEFORE IT HAPPENED / Jeffrey: Are you getting at what I think you're getting at? / Weedmaster P: THE CRETACEOUS TERTIARY EXTINCTION EVENT WAS AN INSIDE JOB / Small text across bottom of strip: The planet was designed to withstand the impact of a 160KM asteroid
 
ChickenBird Baby: Open up THAT one, Jeffrey! It says you won eleventy hundred kajillion euros! / Jeffrey: It ain't real, Baby. It's a fake e-mail / Jeffrey: I get fifteen hundred million of these every eight months! ChickenBird E-mail automagically purges each one from the computer's Bios subpartition. / Baby: But what if one of 'em was REAL? / [Jeffrey looks dumbstruck.] / [Jeffrey lying in bed wistfully picturing a jewel encrusted pidgeon(?).]
Pot Stream [[Weedmaster P is dressed up in flight gear and Jeffrey is nude and sitting on an office chair.]] / Weedmaster P: I'LL SHOW THOSE CRUMMY BALL HOLES IT'S OKAY TO STARE AT A PIGEON FOR AN HOUR AND A HALF / Jeffrey: What are you angrily muttering about in curious attire, Weedmaster P? / Weedmaster P: I FIGGER'D OUT A WAY TO AEROSOLIZE SUPER POWERFUL THC SO I'M GONNA START SPRAYIN' IT INTO THE JET STREAM AND START CHILLIN' SOME BITCHES OUT / [[Weedmaster P takes off in a plane.]] / [[Caption: Soon...]] / [[A newspaper titled "The New York MAN..." with a peace sign in the upper right. Its headline reads, "EVERYTHING SUDDENLY WEIRD". It has a picture of a kitten and a tortoise whose caption reads, "KITTENS BEFRIEND TORTOISES!" Text in the upper left indicates, "FREE PRIZE INSIDE". Other headlines include, "WE HAD THIS AWESOME IDEA BUT FORGOT WHAT IT WAS", and "REGGAE TOLERABLE"]] / {{Title text: TOMORROW: REGGAE TEDIOUS AND REPETITIVE]] / {{Caption: BUSH LOCKS SELF IN HELICOPTER, DEMANDS FORGIVENESS]]
The Safest Emcee Jeffrey: Hey MC Frontalot, what's the "M.C." stand for? / Jeffrey: "Mister . . . COOL?" / MC Frontalot: M . . . Momma Cakes. / Jeffrey: I too believe I have what it takes to be a nerdcore rap star! / Jeffrey: Hello everyone I'm here to rap about fairness / my name is M.C. Safety Awareness / I'm known to argue with a cop but I'm not defiant / my rhymes may be ill but they OSHA compliant / Jeffrey: I stay home at night avoidin' dangerous capers / I rock a SARS mask 'cuz of the gasoline vapors / Jeffrey: / [Jeffrey vomiting on the floor; a gold record pops out.]
Presidential Debate One Americans will vote for me because of my belief that Earth was shat fully-formed from the anus of a giant Space Eagle exactly 500 years tonight. / Fat chance! / Who's got two thumbs and is gonna be the next president based on his belief that the whole of history was just God practicing to make America? This guy. / MILFORD "JAMES" PIRANHA BELIEVES ALL NON-AMERICANS SHOULD BE EXECUTED FOR TREASON. / Can I be president based on my beliefs in compassion, respect, Bigfoot, and fiscal responsibility? / WHERE DO YOU BELIEVE EARTH AND ALL HUMANS CAME FROM? / Gravity and four billion years of complex organic processes.
Crime Time for Mimes [[Weedmaster P stands with his back to a door, looking frightened. Jeffrey sits shirtless on a rock reading a purple book entitled Pieces of Me, a knife resting inexplicably beside his right foot.]] / Weedmaster P: OH GOD I FINALLY DID IT I KILLED A DANG MIME / Jeffrey: Were you sneaky about it? / Weedmaster P: NO WAY MAN I'M GONNA GET CAUGHT / [[A small bird perches on a wall. Weedmaster P holds his hands to his temples, panicking. Jeffrey's position remains unchanged.]] / Weedmaster P: OH MAN I CAN'T GO TO JAIL I JUST GOT MY BUTTHOLE FIXED UP HOW I LIKE IT / Jeffrey: Oh, Weedmaster P... / [[Weedmaster P begins to run as Jeffrey flies after him, having abandoned the book.]] / Jeffrey: My Momma used to say an old sayin' / Jeffrey: ...It goes... / [[Jeffrey, having landed, stands, hands on knees, in front of a gaping ravine. The back of Weedmaster P's head is visible.]] / Jeffrey: Don't do the mime... / Jeffrey: If you can't do the time. / Weedmaster P: YO MOMMA SO FAT INSTEAD OF A WATCH SHE USE A CALENDAR
 

Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40
41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 >>