You're browsing the archives of Overcompensating.
You can search these comics too.
show: [ full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]
| Secret Hat | Jeffrey: Thank you for coming to the meeting, everyone. / Jeffrey: I have invented a hat... / Jeffrey: With a secret compartment... / Jeffrey: So you can hide your bolognies. / [[Proudly eats bologna]] / [[The audience is a sea of empty chairs and Joanna.]] / {{tagline: Now all those fuckers that are always tryin' to steal your bolognies can burn in hell}}
/ {{roll-over text: I guess you could also put drugs in your Bolgnies Hat too but drugs doing spoil as quickly as bolognies.}} http://overcompensating.com/posts/20090803.html |
| Juggalo Spray | [[Tallahassee is reclining on a gurney in front of a cinder block wall. Jeffrey enters.]]
/ Jeffrey: Hey Tallahassee, you seen the Juggalo spray?
/ Tallahassee: Jeffrey! There's no such thing as Juggalo spray!
/ Jeffrey: WHAT / [[Jeffrey and Tallahassee are frightened. Jeffrey's shirt says "Air Travel."]]
/ Jeffrey: You mean RIGHT NOW some dang Juggalos could bust in here and start hangin' around and we'd have no way to get rid of them?
/ Tallahassee: Oh -- oh God!
/ Jeffrey: That's the kind of world we live in?! / [[JUGGALO SPRAY: "GET AWAY FROM HERE JUGGALO"]]
/ [[HURRY! SOMEONE INVENT JUGGALO SPRAY]]
/ [[DON'T LET THIS BE YOU (arrow pointing to Jeffrey, who is recoiling from a Juggalo in an ICP shirt)]] http://overcompensating.com/posts/20090804.html |
| Bullshit | [[Jeffrey sitting on the floor, Weedmaster P standing next to him]]
/ Weedmaster P: HEY DICKPANTS AREN'T YOU STILL LIKE THE SECRET PRESIDENT OR SOMETHING
/ Jeffrey: Oh, right! I totally forgot about that! / [[Weedmaster P in a "Zomby partie" shirt]]
/ Weedmaster P: WELL THEN HOW ABOUT DOING SOMTHING ABOUT ALL THIS GOD-DAMNED BULLSHIT / [[Jeffrey on the phone]]
/ Jeffrey: Hey Barry, man, can we do something about all this bullshit? / [[Obama from office]]
/ Obama; Jeffrey I am literally waist-deep in bullshit. I can't believe nobody's thought to just do something about it! Let's make this happen. / [[Soon: A view of a bill which reads: ANTI-BULLSHIT ACT 2009 We the people of the United States, Completely sick to death of all this [god] damn bullshit do [...]]] / [[Then: a scene of people holding hands by a giant mushroom under a rainbow with hearts a unicorn and some kind of monkey looking thing]] / {{The Anti-Bullshit Act of 2009 put an end to all of the bullshit, and then everybody lived forever.}} / {{I APPOINT MYSELF AS BULLSHIT CZAR, AND IMMEDIATELY MOVE TO GIVE THE SOCIALISM CZAR A 25% RAISE}} http://overcompensating.com/posts/20090805.html |
| Lake House Comix: The Legend of Ol' Grumpy the Lake Scorpion | Title: Lake House, The Legend of O'l Grumpy / Jeffrey Rowland: Sure is peaceful out here at the lake house, ain't it, Deathmole Jacques?
/ Deathmole Jacques: Yeah . . . / Crab: Peaceful?! 'Twas plenty peaceful 'till you young whippersnappers showed up! / Crab: Now it just . . . warm. Warm and . . . And clammy. / Jeffrey Rowland: Mussels look like flying . . . butts . . . / Crab: When I was a young lake scorpion the lake was quiet and the youngins had respect for the elders and a wad of kale cost five cents
/ Jeffrey Rowland: Even the old lake animals are lame here! / Super: Meanwhile / Jeph: Dude this is fucking bullshit my dad was a lake scorpion you racists / Super: Flashback Dance!
/ Sub-Super: It's the '90's!!
/ Jeph's Dad: Annnd where have yooou been? / Super: I phoned in this panel!!!
/ Jeffrey Rowland: Jeph . . .
/ Jeph: No! / Jeph: I love you dad!
/ Sound FX: Fap Fap Fap / Jeffrey Rowland: Guys seriously / Jeffrey Rowland: Paperklip is dead she has died from murder
/ Tallahasse: Huh? / Doctor: It's true. I have a doctorate in noticing murder. / Crab: We are gay married now http://overcompensating.com/posts/20090806.html |
| Reality Check | Jeffrey: Ugh, what time is it?
/ Tallahassee: Late.
/ Jeffrey: What year?
/ Tallahassee: 2009.
/ Jeffrey: Are people still saying "blogosphere"?
/ Tallahassee: Yeah. / Jeffrey: Do a lot of people think yelling is the same as logic?
/ Tallahassee: Yup.
/ Jeffrey: What are the five most commonly used words in America?
/ Tallahassee: "Fuck," "pimp," "huh," "like," and "Baconnaise."
/ Jeffrey: Ugh.
/ Tallahassee: "Ugh" is number nine. / Jeffrey: Wow. Well I'm goin' back to bed. Wake me up when Batman goes back to work.
/ Tallahassee: Batman isn't going back to work. Batman isn't real. / Jeffrey: Please kill me. / {{tagline: See also whiplash, touchdown, alliance,ugh, Xanax, supersize, stylist, socialist, gangbang, bromance}}
/ {{roll-over text: You can tell that yelling louder makes you make more sense because the people who are arguing with stop.}} http://overcompensating.com/posts/20090810.html |
| Poor Sick People | Fancy Jeffrey: You know who don't deserve to have health care? The poor people! Because they don't work hard enough!
/ Fancy Baby: Oh, I know, right? / Weedmaster P, covered in filth: Hey guys I'm home from my job where I pull the guts out of alive chickens and throw them in a white-hot jet engine in total darkness twelve hours a day for six dollars an hour / Filthy Weedmaster P: Today I was ten seconds late so my illegal immigrant boss cut my finger off
/ Fancy Jeffrey: Oh my! Sounds like you need health insurance! / Filthy Weedmaster P: Man I can't afford no health insurance I owe the rent-to-own joint like $1500 Can I borrow some sculpey I'm gonna make a new finger out of sculpey and like tape it on
/ Fancy Baby: HA HA HA HAA
/ Fancy Jeffrey: Pfft!
/ {{title text: Maybe if Weedmaster P didn't ever relax he could afford health insurance. He's so poor that he couldn't even afford to get treated for a gunshot wound at a town hall meeting.}} http://overcompensating.com/posts/20090811.html |
| Poor Sick People | Fancy Jeffrey: You know who don't deserve to have health care? The poor people! Because they don't work hard enough!
/ Fancy Baby: Oh, I know, right? / Weedmaster P, covered in filth: Hey guys I'm home from my job where I pull the guts out of alive chickens and throw them in a white-hot jet engine in total darkness twelve hours a day for six dollars an hour / Filthy Weedmaster P: Today I was ten seconds late so my illegal immigrant boss cut my finger off
/ Fancy Jeffrey: Oh my! Sounds like you need health insurance! / Filthy Weedmaster P: Man I can't afford no health insurance I owe the rent-to-own joint like $1500 Can I borrow some sculpey I'm gonna make a new finger out of sculpey and like tape it on
/ Fancy Baby: HA HA HA HAA
/ Fancy Jeffrey: Pfft!
/ {{title text: Maybe if Weedmaster P didn't ever relax he could afford health insurance. He's so poor that he couldn't even afford to get treated for a gunshot wound at a town hall meeting.}} http://overcompensating.com/posts/20090811.html |
| Drug Testing | Top of Panel: THE NEXT DAY
/ Jeffrey: Welcome back to work, Weedmaster P! Let's talk about your health care--
/ Weedmaster P: I AIN'T PISSIN' IN NO CUP FOR YOU
/ Jeffrey: Huh? / Weedmaster P: YOU'RE GONNA MAKE US TAKE MANDATORY DRUG TESTS TO DECIDE WHETHER OR NOT TO EUTHANIZE US
/ Jeffrey: No! / Jeffrey: I mean, yes we *are* having drug tests -- to make sure you've been using drugs! People that don't use drugs are too stressed out to be good workers--
/ Weedmaster P: I DON'T BELIEVE YOU / Top of Panel: SOON...
/ [[Weedmaster P is shirtless, with electrodes attached to his chest running to a "Drug-O-Matic" machine. Jeffrey is reading a spool of paper coming out of the machine. / [[Weedmaster P is being forced to watch Fantasia. It is currently at the scene with the parade of hammers.]]
/ Jeffrey: Are you finding this even remotely interesting?
/ Weedmaster P: NO
/ Jeffrey: I think it's broken. / {{Below comic: And that's how Weedmaster P narrowly avoided being euthanized that day.}}
/ {{title text: We popped out The Wall and put in Heavy Metal and Weedmaster P started balancing his checkbook.}} http://overcompensating.com/posts/20090813.html |
| Sex and Violence | Baby: Jeffrey how come it's okay to show people gettin' killed on T.V. but it ehn't okay to show 'em makin' hot grown-up sex?
/ Jeffrey: It's about eugenics, Baby!
/ Baby: Huh? / Jeffrey: When you show violence on the teevee it desensitizes people to it, so they won't freak out as bad when the death squads come knockin'. / Jeffrey: But when they show happy people makin' rude sexytime it gives the people hope and makes 'em wanna breed -- and we can't have that! / Tallahassee: I'm literally terrified about how much sense that makes.
/ Jeffrey: Joanna told me it! She also told me the Devil invented religion to trick everybody into hating each other so we'll die off faster. / {{tagline: It's a lot easier to set a man on fire than it is to put up with how terrible he is}}
/ {{roll-over text: That's why there's no way to DELETE PRIVATE DATA on the teevee.}} http://overcompensating.com/posts/20090814.html |
| It's a Trap | < http://overcompensating.com/posts/20090817.html |
| Doctor Mac Ninja Versus Dracula | {{Title: Doctor Mac Ninja Versus Dracula}} / Tallahassee: Jeffrey, who's that in the cold room? / Jeffrey: Oh, that's Doc Hastings!
/ He came all the way from New York City to draw pictures in his new book, "Doctor Mac Ninja versus Dracula." / {{title text:He will soon be diagnosed with a bizarre condition, Repetitive Robocop Head-Drawing Disorder.}}
/ {{under comic text:The breeze from the cold room feels really good.}} http://overcompensating.com/posts/20090818.html |
| OVERCOMPENSATING: The Journal Comic With a Seething Disdain for Reality. | Pink circle: Venn Diagrams
/ Green circle: Comics
/ Lines pointing to Green circle and little green circle inside pink circle: Things People Think are Comics Now http://overcompensating.com/posts/20090819.html |
| Internet Fluid | Jeffrey: God danged Internet won't stay on! We need Internet to be on _all the time!_
/ Weedmaster P: Did you check the Internet Fluid / Jeffrey: You ignorant dick-ass! There's no such thing as Internet Fluid! You -- you're trying to trick me!
/ Weedmaster P: No you know how like car brakes need brake fluid even though it seems like fluid would make the brakes get all slippery
/ Jeffrey: Oh. That makes sense. / [[Weeks later at Vermont Pete's Computer Hut]]
/ Jeffrey: _This_ is Internet Fluid?
/ Vermont Pete: Yeah... Why do you want Internet Fluid?
/ Jeffrey: I dunno...? To put in the Internet?
/ Vermont Pete: No, man... Internet Fluid is what comes _out_ of the internet.
/ Jeffrey: I was _lied_ to. / {{tagline: Internet Juice is probably what comes out of Tubgirl}}
/ {{roll-over text: Weedmaster P's advice is still quite a bit better than what I have been getting from Verizon.}} http://overcompensating.com/posts/20090820.html |
| Funployee Meeting | [[Topatoco offices]]
/ JEFFREY ROWLAND: Funployees, I know morale is low on account of it bein' like 300 degrees in here which is so hot that even Internet won't work, but-- are you... are you holding a gun?
/ WEEDMASTER P: Hell yeah I'm holding a piece it's my right
/ [[Weedmaster P's T-shirt reads "Dang"]] / JEFFREY ROWLAND: What's gonna happen at a funployee meeting where you'd need to be bustin' caps all in suckaz?
/ WEEDMASTER P: Hell I don't know it's all Wild West up in this bitch just like the Foundy Fathers
/ WEEDMASTER P: They trying to take my freedoms / [[A snippet of the U.S. Constitution is shown, revealing "Amendment 28: The right of the people not to get fucking shot."]] / [[Jeffrey puts on a red T-shirt.]] / [[The T-shirt reads "Keep your bullets out of my body."]] http://overcompensating.com/posts/20090821.html |
| P-Con | [[Pi-Con - Enfield, CT]]
/ Jeffrey: Lucid John, this here's one of them polyamory cons -- that means rude, weird, naked sex all over the place. Follor my lead. / [[Three Long Island Ice Teas later...]] / Jeffrey: Here's a hundred dollars... go see if they'll have sex together and let you watch them. / [[Several moments later...]]
/ Lucid John: They said yes, but they're insisting you shout at them while they're doing it!
/ Jeffrey: So they wanna play hardball, eh?
/ Lucid John: ...Yes. / {{tagline: Sometimes when a man loves a lad and another lady and two men and another lady very much they have a Renaissance Faire}}
/ {{roll-over text: Happy Birthday everyone!}} http://overcompensating.com/posts/20090824.html |
| Operation Interdumb | Jeffrey: Lieutenant, report. Are the secret signals we hid in all the wireless routers working?
/ Baby: Affirmative. Operation Winfail is at level 60.
/ Jeffrey: That means 60% of all internet users will respond to _any statement_ with "Epic Win/Fail"?
/ Baby: Epic win. / Jeffrey: What about the protocol that makes them believe complaining about a huge company on their blog will somehow get results?
/ Baby: The two fictional "success stories" we fed to th' media is is all the evidence they needed. / Jeffrey: What about the neural application that makes them forget that whatever they put on the internet can be seen by other people?
/ Baby: We had to add a hundred new mainframes so that one wouldn't burn out the system.
/ Jeffrey: Epic win. / {{tagline: We're still working on the Rule 34 bug where people make porn out of everything}}
/ {{roll-over text: We have to get everybody stupid so they'll be able to mentally handle the RAPTURE}} http://overcompensating.com/posts/20090825.html |
| Forward Thinking | Jeffrey: Yello?
/ Obama: Kerry Edwards?
/ Jeffrey: Yep. / Obama: It's Barack Obama. Say, man, do you got any ideas about how to deal with all this bullshit? / Jeffrey: Babies. Babies everywhere. Pay people to have babies. We need there to be at least two billion Americans by 2025. With wo billion taxpayers we'll be able to pay for health care _and_ start payin' off the Korean War. / Obama: How are there gonna be two billion jobs?
/ Jeffrey: I figure there'll be a lot of growth in the warlording and soothsaying markets. And there'll be jobs where people just describe what trees were like. / Obama: All right we'll get right on this.
/ Jeffrey: Wait!
/ Obama's phone: < http://overcompensating.com/posts/20090826.html |
| Twenty-Two Dollar Pyramid | [[The Category is: Things That Poop Comes Out Of]]
/ [[GO]]
/ Jeffrey: People... dogs... butts...
/ Weedmaster P: Things that make too much noise / Jeffrey: Port-a-potties... cats... poop-guns... bags full of poop...
/ Weedmaster P: Things I have like 20 o in my bedroom / Jeffrey: Buttholes... uh, anuses...
/ Weedmaster P: Things to keep broken glass away from
/ [[CORRECT ENOUGH]] / {{tagline: Good? Bad? I'm the guy that poop comes out of}}
/ {{roll-over text: This will resonate traumatically with those of you who saw that video clip.}} http://overcompensating.com/posts/20090827.html |
| Designing Bros | Jeffrey: All right Deathmole Jacques let's design some dang tee-shirts!
/ Deathmole Jacques: Tee-shirts! / Deathmole Jacques: How's this one?
/ Jeffrey: Amazing! You're gonna sell like a million of them! / Jeffrey: How 'bout this one?
/ Deathmole Jacques: Oh yeah! Right on.
/ Deathmole Jacques (evil thoughts): Jeffrey's idea is _way_ better than mine! I gotta do something or else everybody's gonna buy _his_ shirt and not mine!
/ Deathmole Jacques: Let's do tequila shots to celebrate!
/ Jeffrey: Hell yeah! / [[Two hours later]]
/ Jeffrey: Hey Deathmole, you seen that little piece of pa--
/ Deathmole Jacques: Nope, I seen a buttcat gnawin' on a piece of paper, though.
/ Jeffrey: Do you 'member what my idea was?
/ Deathmole Jacques: Nope. It must not have been a very good idea. / {{tagline: Deathmole Jacques told me about R?yskopp though so I guess we're even}}
/ {{roll-over text: I wanna say it had something to do with Horse People but that one's just down the rabbit hole. Jeph's is really good though.}} http://overcompensating.com/posts/20090831.html |
| Cat Doctor | Tallahassee: Jeffrey, you've got to take that cat to the vet!
/ Jeffrey: I keep tryin' but they're always like "go away sir, you're not allowed to have animals in here and there's a three-drink minimum"! / Tallahassee: You... you might not actually be at a real veterinarian's office. Here's an address and a coupon. / [[At the vet: She hooks Joanna up to the "Cat-O-Blip"... which fuzzes out and shows a horrifying scene]] / {{tagline: Sometimes the reason you aren't at a veterinarian's office is because you aren't supposed to be there.""
/ {{roll-over text: Mr. Rowland your cat drowned seven days ago.}} http://overcompensating.com/posts/20090901.html |
| Back From the Cat Doctor | Jeffrey: Hey Tallahassee, I'm back from the vet.
/ Tallahassee: What did they say, is Joanna healthy? / Jeffrey: Uhh I'm not sure. She hooked up Joanna up to a machine, then she got real pale and quiet. Then she wrote a note and went to another room and I heard like hissin' gas.
/ Tallahassee: What's the note say? / [[Jeffrey shows the badly scrawled note]]
/ "She is the bringer of end the end of light and darkness there are no more changes there are no more holy things" / Tallahassee: Whoa. / Jeffrey: But on the back side she wrote a prescription for Oxycontin so me and Joanna are gonna take a couple of sick days I think. / {{tagline: There no such thing as sick days at Topatco}}
/ {{roll-over text: "I forgot that Tallahassee wasn't alive back when I found Joanna in hell.}} http://overcompensating.com/posts/20090902.html |
| Tallahassee and Weedmaster P Talk to Each Other | Tallahassee: Weedmaster P do you know where Jeffrey got Joanna the cat?
/ Weedmaster P: WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO ME YOU'VE NEVER TALKED TO ME BEFORE
/ Tallahassee: Yes I have! Tell me. / Weedmaster P: JEFFREY GOT SICK AND DIED ONE TIME AND WHEN HE CAME BACK HE HAD THAT DAMNED CAT
/ THAT'S ALL I KNOW
/ Tallahassee: Seriously? / Weedmaster P: I'M GUESSIN' SOMETHIN' HORRIBLE HAPPENED TO HER AND IT LEFT LIKE A RESIDUE
/ THAT'S HOW COME SHE DRINKS
/ I MEAN I'M NOT A DOCTOR OR NOTHIN' / Tallahassee: Seriously? You're not a doctor? I had no idea!
/ Weedmaster P: NOPE I NEVER EVEN BEEN TO A SCHOOL NOT EVEN ONCE
/ I SLIPPED THROUGH THE CRACKS / {{Mouse-over text: That's not how come Joanna drinks. It's how come she HIDES her drinking.}}
/ {{Bottom-text: Tallahassee is being sarcastic in panel four, which is the only way to make Weedmaster P have feelings.}} http://overcompensating.com/posts/20090903.html |
| Talk To Your Kids About Sex | Man (played by Jeffrey): Parents, we know you _want_ to talk to your kids about sex, but... it's awkward and unpleasant.
/ Woman (played by Tallahassee): It's just... weird. / Woman: But still, you don't want the to bring home an AIDS baby before they get a learner's permit. That's why you need to teach them to be _ashamed_ of their sexuality. / Man: Explaining biological functions to young people can be too confusing for them. And for you.
/ Woman: Teach them sexual thoughts come from the _devil._ / Woman: You don't need to tell your kids _every_ thing about sex. You just need to tell them that their genitals are dirty, that if they have unmarried sex they'll go to hell, and that their naked bodies are filthy and shameful. / {{tagline: Parents talk to your kids about drugs too, but ignore the part about how awesome it feels to be on drugs}}
/ {{roll-over text: "PARENTS: Your eleven-year-old has already seen Mexican amputee orgies on internet. This is not a Big Thing.}} http://overcompensating.com/posts/20090904.html |
| Who Killed Olof Palme? | Jeffrey: ...now that fuckin' butt-cat owes me over $300!
/ Weedmaster P: Hey why don't you watch your mouth there's a little kid right here / Jeffrey: Hey who are you to tell me who I can't say cuss words near?
/ Weedmaster P: My momma taught me two things -- don't cuss around kids and kill on sight the true assassin of Olaf Palme / [[There's a suspicious-looking man at the water fountain]] / [[Weedmaster P has zeroed in on him]] / [[The suspicious-looking man sure looks suspicious. And nervous.]] / {{tagline: Nothing against home schooling but in this case, this is the result of 12 years of it}}
/ {{roll-over text: Weedmaster P is getting a lot done today as the entirety of his 12 years of home-schooling is playing out right here.}} http://overcompensating.com/posts/20090908.html |
| Teeth | Weedmaster P: God damn it some dick-ass just threw a beer bottle at me
/ Jeffrey: Why would somebody do something like that? / [[Weedmaster P points to his newly cartooned teeth]]
/ Weedmaster P: Oh GEE I don't know It couldn't have ANYthing to do with how FUCKED-up-looking my TEETH are / Baby: Yeah, Jeffrey! Ever since we all got these new chompers, folks've been treatin' us diff'rent.
/ Tallahassee: Maybe it's because they're secretly ashamed of how their own teeth look. Most people don't have very nice teeth. / [[Gorgeous close-up of Jeffrey's teeth]]
/ Jeffrey: Let us not be ashamed of our ugly-assed teeth! Let us go forth into the world and make everyone uncomfortable! / [[Closeup of Weedmaster P and Baby's meth mouths]] / [[Joanna wins. By a mile.]] / {{tagline: You can always tell if there is something wrong with someone's teeth by the look of their teeth}}
/ {{roll-over text: The teeth are the windows to the gums}} http://overcompensating.com/posts/20090909.html |
| Health Plan Alternative | Jeffrey: Hey Weedmaster P what do you think about the healthcare?
/ Weedmaster P: Outlaw it
/ Jeffrey: Huh?
/ Weedmaster P: Outlaw healthcare / Weedmaster P: Biggest problem we got is too many damn people Helpin' people live a long life don't help nobody but the fat cats If 50% of Americans died right now then everybody would be twice as rich It would fix everything / Jeffrey: But you ain't got nothin' 'cause you're a lazy degenerate! If everybody died you'd have twice as much nothing -- two negative nothings!
/ Weedmaster P: What / Jeffrey: It's maths!
/ Weedmaster P: Let's outlaw math too
/ Jeffrey: Why?
/ Weedmaster P: It's too hard / {{tagline: Weedmaster P tells everybody he is a libertarian}}
/ {{roll-over text: The only way everyone will be happy is if everything they hate is illegal, or everything they like is legal, or that they are dead.}} http://overcompensating.com/posts/20090910.html |
| Health Plan Alternative | Jeffrey: Hey Weedmaster P what do you think about the healthcare?
/ Weedmaster P: Outlaw it
/ Jeffrey: Huh?
/ Weedmaster P: Outlaw healthcare / Weedmaster P: Biggest problem we got is too many damn people Helpin' people live a long life don't help nobody but the fat cats If 50% of Americans died right now then everybody would be twice as rich It would fix everything / Jeffrey: But you ain't got nothin' 'cause you're a lazy degenerate! If everybody died you'd have twice as much nothing -- two negative nothings!
/ Weedmaster P: What / Jeffrey: It's maths!
/ Weedmaster P: Let's outlaw math too
/ Jeffrey: Why?
/ Weedmaster P: It's too hard / {{tagline: Weedmaster P tells everybody he is a libertarian}}
/ {{roll-over text: The only way everyone will be happy is if everything they hate is illegal, or everything they like is legal, or that they are dead.}} http://overcompensating.com/posts/20090910.html |
| Health Plan Alternative | Jeffrey: Hey Weedmaster P what do you think about the healthcare?
/ Weedmaster P: Outlaw it
/ Jeffrey: Huh?
/ Weedmaster P: Outlaw healthcare / Weedmaster P: Biggest problem we got is too many damn people Helpin' people live a long life don't help nobody but the fat cats If 50% of Americans died right now then everybody would be twice as rich It would fix everything / Jeffrey: But you ain't got nothin' 'cause you're a lazy degenerate! If everybody died you'd have twice as much nothing -- two negative nothings!
/ Weedmaster P: What / Jeffrey: It's maths!
/ Weedmaster P: Let's outlaw math too
/ Jeffrey: Why?
/ Weedmaster P: It's too hard / {{tagline: Weedmaster P tells everybody he is a libertarian}}
/ {{roll-over text: The only way everyone will be happy is if everything they hate is illegal, or everything they like is legal, or that they are dead.}} http://overcompensating.com/posts/20090910.html |
| Mashley 19 | [[Jeffrey on the phone with Mashley]]
/ Jeffrey: Hey Mashley, for your birthday I got you a magic CD that when you listen to it when you're asleep you'll have the best dream you've ever had! / [[Soon: Weedmaster P asks Jeffrey a question]]
/ Weedmaster P: Where the hell is my computer disk that makes you dream you're completely paralyzed and time slows down and insects crawl into your mouth and nose while in the corner of your eye Jesus' severed head screams at you and you can't close your eyes
/ Jeffrey: Uhh...this one? / Weedmaster P: No this is the one that makes you dream you're George Clooney for five minutes. It's in the wrong case / [[Many Months Later: Mashley sitting in a padded room with dark soulless circles for eyes]] / {{Hover Text: When the girls get the Five Minutes as George Clooney Dream they get the added benefit of having five minutes of their dream spent not being completely disappointed in the other gender}} / {{Footnote: The opposite of getting to be George Clooney for five minutes is having to be Glenn Beck permanently}} http://overcompensating.com/posts/20090911.html |
| Mashley 19 | [[Jeffrey on the phone with Mashley]]
/ Jeffrey: Hey Mashley, for your birthday I got you a magic CD that when you listen to it when you're asleep you'll have the best dream you've ever had! / [[Soon: Weedmaster P asks Jeffrey a question]]
/ Weedmaster P: Where the hell is my computer disk that makes you dream you're completely paralyzed and time slows down and insects crawl into your mouth and nose while in the corner of your eye Jesus' severed head screams at you and you can't close your eyes
/ Jeffrey: Uhh...this one? / Weedmaster P: No this is the one that makes you dream you're George Clooney for five minutes. It's in the wrong case / [[Many Months Later: Mashley sitting in a padded room with dark soulless circles for eyes]] / {{Hover Text: When the girls get the Five Minutes as George Clooney Dream they get the added benefit of having five minutes of their dream spent not being completely disappointed in the other gender}} / {{Footnote: The opposite of getting to be George Clooney for five minutes is having to be Glenn Beck permanently}} http://overcompensating.com/posts/20090911.html |
| Nation of Crap | [[Weedmaster P and Jeffrey are flying an airplane.]]
/ Jeffrey: I read a news the other day that said there's enough self-storage units in the U.S.A. to give every man, woman, and child seven square feet of storage space.
/ Jeffrey: Over. / [[Change scene to Jeffrey shooting a pistol with a cowboy hat on, leaning on a crate labeled "explosives".]]
/ Weedmaster P: THE AVERAGE AMERICAN HAS 2,500 POUNDS OF CRAP THAT THEY WOULDN'T EVEN NOTICE IF IT WAS GONE
/ Jeffrey: At least. / [[Change scene to Jeffrey and Weedmaster P laying out by a pool with Joanna face-down over Jeffrey's crotch.]]
/ Jeffrey: The average American has a vocabulary of just under 400 words and thinks Rambo's dad is Superman.
/ Weedmaster P: Well then who the fuck is Rambo's dad http://overcompensating.com/posts/20090914.html |
| What's Eating Weedmaster | Jeffrey: No Weedmaster P. I'm pretty sure "vaginal" means the one that babies come out of and "anal" means the one that poops come out of.
/ Weedmaster P: BULLshit / [Jeffrey calls up pictures on his phone]]
/ Jeffrey: No, look here. I'll pull up a diagram off of the Wikipedia, Look.
/ Weedmaster P: No that's... / [[Weedmaster P is distressed]]
/ Weedmaster P: No / [[Weedmaster P becomes even more distressed, tearfully so]]
/ Weedmaster P: I need HELP / {{tagline: Whatever Weedmaster P has been doing he has been doing very, very incorrectly}}
/ {{roll-over text: If you would have told 14-year-old Jeffrey that in his lifetime he would be able to look at pictures of vaginas and buttholes on his TELEPHONE he would have just got sad and hid in his room because that's just what he was going to anyway, because it didn't matter, none of it matters. }} http://overcompensating.com/posts/20090916.html |
| National Preparedness Month | < http://overcompensating.com/posts/20090918.html |
| New York City Party | [[NEW YORK CITY ? FRIDAY NIGHT]]
/ [[There is a monster and explosions.]]
/ < http://overcompensating.com/posts/20090921.html |
Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40
41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 >>