You're browsing the archives of Overcompensating.
You can search these comics too.

show: [ full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]

At the Risk Of JEFFREY: At the risk of sounding like an asshole, I'd like you all to assume that anything I say is preceded by the phrase, "At the risk of sounding like an asshole." / JEFFREY: Tallahassee, have you seen the rope? / TALLAHASSEE: Jeez, you don't have to yell at me. / JEFFREY: Weedmaster P, are we out of coffee? / WEEDMASTER P: OH SCREW THIS GARBAGE, I QUIT / JEFFREY: I'm not even sure you actually work here. / [[THE NEXT DAY...]] / JEFFREY: I'll give everybody a raise if you all forget I ever said that thing about sounding like an asshole. / PAPERKLIP: Oh, so you think we're poor people? Ass. / WEEDMASTER P: YOUR MOM HATES YOU
Weedmaster P's Big Problem Weedmaster P: VERMONT PETE I DON'T LIKE YOU AND YOU DON'T LIKE ME / Vermont Pete: I don't give enough of a shit about you to not like you Weedmaster P. / Weedmaster P: BUT I THOUGHT... / Vermont Pete: Go away. Don't talk to me. Ugh, I feel like I've got low blood pressure just standing next to you. / [[Weedmaster P's tears up]] / later that night / [[Weedmaster P is drawing]] / [[Weedmaster P's notebook is filled with doodles attesting to his love of Vermont Pete]]
Pretentious [[In a men's bathroom. Jeff is in fetal position on the floor, Weedmaster P behind him.]] / Weedmaster P: Dammit I know I'm supposed to hate pretentious things but I can't even figure out how you tell if something is pretentious. / Jeff: Ha! Even Vermont Pete knows what "pretentious" means and he went to school at Bennington. Only a total poufiasse doesn't know what "pretentious" means. / Weedmaster P: Was that you acting pretentious / Jeff: I think so ... / Weedmaster P: So bein' pretentious basically means just foppin' around like a cock-hound? / {{Whatever you think is neat, Foppy the Pretentious Cockhound knows of something neater that occurred in a foreign country, hundreds of years ago.}}
Pet [[Jeffrey, Joanna and Tallahassee are standing in the Topatoco warehouse]] (they are tiny) / Jeffrey: I think Joanna's lonely. I think I'm gonna get her a pet. / Tallahasse: You're gonna get a pet...for your pet... / Jeffrey: What? It ain't weird! I heard some celebrities got... / Television: COME ON DOWN TO SNAKE TOWN! We got fat snakes, loud snakes, quiet snakes, red snakes, blue snakes! We even got MONGOLIAN DEATH WORMS even though we ain't supposed to!! / Jeffrey: ... I just remembered an appointment I have to be at. / {{Banner text: Later that day...}} / [[Jeffrey and Tallahasse are looking slightly off-screen, Jeffrey is smiling while Tallahasse stares in fear]] / [[Joanna is being bitten by a large snake which is coiled around her]] / Jeffrey: Aw, lookit! They're snugglin'!
OVERCOMPENSATING: Emerald City 2010 Jeffrey: Aw yeah! I've still got two hours to finish building this half-thought-out, 400-square foot cardboard fortress and also input all the merchandise SKUs from 12 different comics into the never-before-used point of sale software that I bought because it was $500 cheaper than the other ones! / Announcement: Attention! We are opening the doors in five minutes even though we said something different yesterday / Mr. Jon Rosenberg: Who are you calling, Jeffrey? / Jeffrey: What's the cheat code to spawn a vengeful, petty God who will no longer be pacified by the sacrifices and atonements?
OVERCOMPENSATING: Emerald City 2010 Jeffrey: Aw yeah! I've still got two hours to finish building this half-thought-out, 400-square foot cardboard fortress and also input all the merchandise SKUs from 12 different comics into the never-before-used point of sale software that I bought because it was $500 cheaper than the other ones! / Announcement: Attention! We are opening the doors in five minutes even though we said something different yesterday / Mr. Jon Rosenberg: Who are you calling, Jeffrey? / Jeffrey: What's the cheat code to spawn a vengeful, petty God who will no longer be pacified by the sacrifices and atonements?
 
Who Cares [[Jeffrey Rowland is sitting with his back to a dingy graffiti-tagged brick wall. Weedmaster P stands and watches him.]] / Jeffrey Rowland: Man sometimes I wish nobody cared about me so I could just friggin' die and nobody would get all weird about it. / [[Close-up of Jeffrey Rowland sitting and looking pensive against a midday suburban backdrop.]] / [[Weedmaster P looks annoyed.]] / Weedmaster P: Uh / Who do you think cares about you
OVERCOMPENSATING: Mystery Comix Jeffrey: E=mc^2 / Weedmaster P: Cheeseburger. / Jeffrey: Blue horse. / Weedmaster P: Hello Kitty.
OVERCOMPENSATING: Looking Forward Jeffrey: Weedmaster P, do you like, look forward to stuff? / Weedmaster P: Hell no I don't look forward to nothin' / Jeffery: Why? / Weedmaster P: A thing is either gonna be exactly how you think it's gonna be which is disappointing and unlikely / Weedmaster P: or it's gonna be different so then what's the dang point / Weedmaster P: Besides by the time I even notice something is happening it's in the past / Jeffrey: I think we ran over some cops. / Weedmaster P: I ain't lookin' forward to dealin with that / {{It wasn't cops it was Hells Angels Crips}} / {{title text: It's sort of like how dogs don't care if you take their picture.}}
OVERCOMPENSATING: Zero Day Jeffry: Hey Joanna have you heard the new MC Frontalot album? It's really dang good! / [[Joanna with Headphones]] / Narrator: Later That Night / [[Joanna at Laptop]] / [[Joanna downloading torrent on Muzik"Sharer" - There's a donate to Muzik"Sharer" button]] / Narrator: One week Later / [[MC Frontalot standing with sign that reads "Will rap about nerd shit for back pain medicine]] / {{Say I ruin everything for you Well it's mutual}} / {{Title text: Evite is down -OR- SOMEBODY CALL THE DOCTOR THESE BEATS ARE INCREDIBLY SICK}}
OVERCOMPENSATING: Bacterias Jeffry: Let me get this straight -- human bein's are just like a highly-evolved bacterial infection? / Weedmaster P: We grow best where it's warm and wet / Jeffrey: So then Earth is a living thing that we're an infection on? / Weedmaster P: Yep but it's also part of a much bigger thing / Narrator: Meanwhile, 300 million light years away... / YHWH: Dag nabbit I think I got the jock itch again. Boy, you got any more of that cream? / Jesus [[Off panel]]: I used the last of it on my dinosaur infection! / {{YHWH and his son really should probably go to the store more often}} / {{title text: YHWH has incorrectly diagnosed his erythrasma as 'jock itch.' He had better take care of that asap or it's going to get out of control.}}
 
OVERCOMPENSATING: Baby's Problem Baby: I just got an e-mail from the Facebook sayin' they're closin' my account! / Jeffrey: Why? / Baby: I dunno... I mean all I do is when I'm bored I update my status with song lyrics or movie quotes. I only do it 40 or 50 times a day. And the Facebook keeps deletin' the mafia farm cafe invites I send out so I gotta keep sendin' 'em over and over and over... / Baby: 'An I keep taggin' my friends' in their super-ugly pictures of 'em but it keeps droppin' the tags so I gotta keep re-taggin'... / Jeffrey: Can I see that e-mail? / Narrator: Moments later... / Jeffrey: They're not closin' your account, Baby! They're upgradin' you to a five-diamond account! / {{It is mandatory that on the Facebook five diamond account that you update at least 10 times a day not matter what}} / {{Title Text: The Facebook Three Diamond Account lets you poke actual people without consequence so you can just imagine the power that Baby has right now.}}
OVERCOMPENSATING: The Blame Game [[Jeffrey on street]] / [[Lady in car]] / Jeffrey: Oh I got a bone to pick with you, lady! / [[Three panels, lady looks shocked, thinking then calmly points to bumper sticker]] / [[Shows bumper sticker "Don't blame me I bank locally"]] / Jeffrey: Oh! My bad! / {{Don't blame me I voted for whoever was running against the elected official you disagree with}} / {{Title text: And that's why I have a bumper sticker that says DON'T BLAME ME I WAS JUST A SMALL CHILD WHEN CHERNOBYL HAPPENED}}
OVERCOMPENSATING: When Air Travel Was Less Horrible Tallahassee: Air travel used to be so glamorous! / Jeffrey: I know! Back when the planes were all pressurized tubes full of cigarette smoke. / Tallahassee: People would get dressed up to fly and the flight attendants weren't so rude! / Jeffrey: Who's got time to be rude when they're busy being that blatantly sexually objectified. / Tallahassee: Flyin' was classy back then! People looked forward to it! / Jeffrey: Everything was great until they started lettin' poor people on. / {{The other day I was on an airplane and there was a black person on it}} / {{Title text: Ah, the good old days. When a bottle of coke cost five cents, everybody had alcoholism, and global, mutually-assured thermonuclear annihilation was perpetually thirty seconds away.}}
OVERCOMPENSATING: Gotta Bring 'Em All Tallahassee: Jeffrey, your accountant called. She said your job title now is "Execultive." / Jeffery: Oh Shiiii- / [[There are six hookers on a stage]] / Weedmaster P: These are all hookers. Pick five. / Jeffery: Why can't we bring all of the hookers to Stenbeorgia with us? / Weedmaster P: Two of the hookers are extremely insane / Weedmaster P: Part of being an executive is making awesome decisions / Jeffery: Which ones of you hookers are incredibly insane? / {{Five against two. Honestly even if you pick completely wrong you can find a way to turn them against each other}} / {{Title Text: Last year I was a 'cartoonist.'}}
The Renegade {{The Renegade once poured gasoline all over a Wordpress template and flicked a match over her shoulder and walked away and DIDN'T LOOK AT IT as it exploded}} / [[Jeffrey is sitting at his writing desk. Tallahassee stands behind him with her hands behind her back]] / Jeffrey: I wanna make new Wigu comics but the website sucks! / Tallahassee: Can't you make a new website? / Jeffrey: I'm a hacker. I don't make websites, I break 'em. / Tallahassee: If only there was a way to get someone who's better than you at a thing to do that thing for you... / [[The Renegade stands with a hand on her hip and pointing at her head. Jeffrey is still sitting at his writing desk.]] / {{SOON...}} / The Renegade: Does somebody need a website made? / Jeffrey: You can make a website? But you... you're a girl! / The Renegade: Check out the goggles, hot shot. The Renegade once made a website out of a broken beer bottle and some Saran wrap! / [[Weedmaster P wears a shirt that says Hill Billy Sex Bike. He is talking to The Renegade.]] / Weedmaster P: CAN YOU WRITE A COMPUTER LANGUAGE THAT MAKES HIS COMICS FUNNY AND MAKE SENSE / The Renegade: Oh, definitely. / Weedmaster P: CAN YOU MAKE ME ONE / The Renegade: ...no.
 
Spring Break 2010 [[Jeffrey, Weedmaster P, and Tallahassee next to a cinderblock wall. Jeffrey is lifting his shirt.]] / Jeffrey: Guys, we need to start thinkin' about getting ready for Spring Break! / Weedmaster P: UGH / Tallahassee: BUHH / Jeffrey: What are y'all groanin' about? It's Spring Friggin' Break! / [[Baby and Weedmaster P next to a cinderblock wall. Both are lifting their shirts.]] / Baby: But Spring Break's fer the young people that ehn't made all their mistakes yet. We're all old an' decrepit. / Weedmaster P: I'M STILL HUNG OVER FROM LAST SPRING BREAK / [[Jeffrey and Weedmaster P next to a cinderblock wall. Weedmaster P is lifting his shirt.]] / Jeffrey: I think technically in order to be hung over you need to have sobered up at some point / Weedmaster P: OH RIGHT SPRING BREAK WOOO / {{Subheading: IN PANEL TWO WEEDMASTER P IS TRYING TO COVER UP HIS PROBLEM: HE IS ACTUALLY STILL DRUNK FROM LAST SPRING BREAK}} / {{Tool-tip: Spring Break was invented by the 5th Doctor as a way to trick some Daleks into getting into the water and getting rusty.}}
OVERCOMPENSATING: Saving Spring Break 2010 Tallahassee: I got bad news. According to MTV, Spring Break was last week... / Jeffrey: Dammit how am I supposed to keep track of all these holidays? / Tallahassee: Like... A calendar? / Jeffrey: Weedmaster P do you still have that time machine? / Weedmaster P: NO I SOLD IT / [[Jeffrey Rowlands stands at a podium, making an announcement]] / Jeffrey: There's no other choice... Everyone... Spring Break is canceled this year... / From off-panel: Har nee har nee har nee har / Weedmaster P: WHAT'S THAT SOUND / [[A small man dressed in green flies through the sky on a red sleigh]] / Jeffrey?: It's... Santa Claus? / Tallahassee?: No! It's leprechaun! / Jeffrey?: He must be coming back from Spring Break! / Weedmaster P: OH MAN LOOK HOW WASTED HE IS / [[The sleigh explodes like fireworks in the sky, bits of green spreading downwards]] / Jeffrey: Holy... / [[Tallahassee, Jeffrey, and Weedmaster P shield their faces with their hands -- but get covered in specks of 'leprechaun juice' anyways]] / Jeffrey: Gross! I got leprechaun in my mouth! / Tallahassee: AUGH / Weedmaster P: I FEEL FUNNY / [[Jeffrey runs naked through a parking lot, arms raised and covered with 'leprechaun juice']] / And that's the story of how a leprechaun saved Spring Break. / Jeffrey: Woo! Spring Break! / {{Text: Weedmaster P is so stupid he sold his time machine to pay for his mom's disease medicine.}} / {{Alt-text: Leprechaun Juice is like 400% Jagermeister, look it up.}}
OVERCOMPENSATING: Of Babies and Bathwater Jeffrey: FINE! Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater, asshole! / Tallahassee: I like how people think it's okay to say that now. / Jeffrey: Huh? / [[Jeffrey is standing]] / Tallahassee: In the 1900's, five out of every seven babies born in the USA were accidentally killed in bathwater-throwing-out accidents. / Jeffrey: I... I had no idea... / [[Jeffrey sits down]] / Tallahassee: The other two out of five were stolen by rival tribes or were eaten by woodland creatures. For a time, people stopped having babies completely because they were so depressed about all the dead babies. / Tallahassee: If science hadn't invented drains, we'd be extinct. / [[Jeffrey is curled in the fetal position on the ground]]
OVERCOMPENSATING: Eostre 2010 Jeffery Rowland: I realize you're all still drunk from Spring Break but Easter is this weekend and we have to celebrate it. Does anybody know how to celebrate Easter? / Baby Lam: Sacrifice a goat to ensure fertility? / Deathmole Jacques (?): The human race no longer requires supernatural help in that area. / Weedmaster P: Kill a homeless person to see if we can them back to life? / Tallahassee Econolodge (?): Homeless people are protected now. / Jesus: Are you idiots so stupid you can't just paint some eggs and eat too much? / Weedmaster P: Lame. / Jeffery Rowland: That's lame, dude.
OVERCOMPENSATING: Rich N' Famous [[Jeffrey is in a swimming pool with Joanna. Baby is poolside]] / Baby: Jeffrey I wanna put as little effort as possible into becomin' rich n' famous. Do you got any ideas? / Jeffrey: Well you're not already rich so nobody cares what you look like. And you're not already famous so you can't ho out your remaining fame by goin' on Homeless People Island or whatever. / Baby: Well how do people that ehn't already rich n' famous get to be rich n' famous without tryin' hardly at all. / Jeffrey: I guess you go on the Youtube and jerk around like an asshole until somebody calls American Idol.
 
OVERCOMPENSATING: Sarcasm [[Jeffrey is driving a black, spoiler-bedecked compact car with Weedmaster P in the passenger seat]] / [[The car appears to be reversed horizontally -- Driver's side is on the right]] / Jeffrey: Weedmaster P, do you know what Americans are terrible at? / Weedmaster P: ANSWERING STUPID GUESSING QUESTIONS / Jeffrey: Sarcasm. / [[Another driver in front of them takes an abrupt right turn with no warning, flipping off 'our heroes' in the process]] / <> / <> / Jeffrey: Nice friggin' turn signal, butt sack! / Jeffrey: God! Why can't anybody use their friggin' turn signal? / Weedmaster P: WELL MAYBE IF YOU STOPPED ENCOURAGING THEM / {{Text: Weedmaster P is hardcore a "You get thrown clear of the wreckage" kind of guy}} / {{Alt-text: We're not in England I just had the steering wheel put on the other side because I love talking about that.}}
OVERCOMPENSATING: MoCCA 2010: The Judas Complex Jon Rosenberg: Jeffffreeeyyy / Jeffrey Rowland: Augh! Jesus?! Is it time? Should I get my sword? / Jon Rosenberg: No, it is I, Mister Jon Rosenburg! I have come to remind you that MoCCA is this weekend! / Jeffrey Rowland: Oh man, MoCCA! Remember the old hardcore days when it was Dumbrella vs. Dayfree Press? / Jon Rosenberg: That's what we need to talk about. BATTLES. / Jeffrey Rowland: Uhh but I betrayed and deserted Dayfree! There ain't nobody left to beat! / Jon Rosenberg: Not true. There is Dumbrella. / Jeffrey Rowland: But I'm still part of Dumbrella technically. / Jon Rosenberg: Yes. But now it is time for you to complete your journey. You must destroy Dumbrella. / [[The morning]] / Jeffrey Rowland: Gasp! / <> / <> / / <
OVERCOMPENSATING: This Side Up Narrator: HAVING DESTROYED DUMBRELLA, JEFFREY CELEBRATES BY GIVING A COMPUTER TO WEEDMASTER P... / Jeffrey: Here's a new computer for you to look at internets on / Narrator: WITH ONE CONDITION... / Jeffrey: Oh yeah, if you don't plug in the USB cord right-side up on the first try it'll explode. / [[Weedmaster P looks at the USB plug]] / [[Weedmaster P sitting with his bong and computer at a table]] / Narrator: WEEKS LATER / [[Weedmaster P looks tired and haggard and is still staring at the USB plug]] / {title text: If you don't think this is funny Andrew Hussie said he would and that's all that matters sometimes.}
OVERCOMPENSATING: The Journal Comic With a Seething Disdain for Reality. [[Jeffrey lying on the floor, Weedmaster P enters.]] / Weedmaster P: Man you know what I feel like doin'; cold hittin' some picnics. / Jeffrey: Me too! I don't wanna put any work into it, though -- I wanna hit other people's picnics. / Weedmaster P: If only there was one of them social network kajiggers that told you where picnics you could hit was at. / <> / Narrator: that night ... / [[Jeffrey furiously works on a computer.]] / [[On computer screen: website open www.picnikshitter.com]] / [[PICNICSHITTER / Where all the Picnics At? / We're all about helping you / finding new ways to hit picnics. / We'll help you meet up with / your friends and let you earn / points and unlock badges / for discovering new picnics, / doing new things and hitting / new picnics.]]
C2E2 One CHICAGO... / [[Jeffery, Wondermalki, and Tallahassee Econolodge sit at a table in Chicago]] / Jeffery: I wonder how Topatoco is running with ol Lucid John runnin' thangs. / [[The Topatoco building floats in space while bodies fall from it]] / [[Closeup on Jeffery at the table]] / Jeffery: Aw crap, did I remember to pay my Socialist taxes? / {{title text: The part of Chicago we're in is real nice.}} / {{I'm cosplaying as somebody who's on vacation}}
 
OVERCOMPENSATING: A Joanna at C2E2 [[Joanna topless in front of a large sign that says "Nachos"]] / [[Joanna topless on a pile of audio cables]] / [[Joanna looking out over a line of convention goers]] / [[Joanna, passed out drunk]] / {{Look out Joanna those cables are Secretly Snakes}} / {{Joanna made a bunch of mistakes in a row}}
OVERCOMPENSATING: C2E2 2.5 Jeffrey: Johnny Sadpictures and Beast Ass! Are you guys in Chicago for the comics convention? / Beast Ass: I thought my name was Wolf-Man Green? / Jeffrey: Whatever, Puzzle Dick. / Johnny Sadpictures: I LIVE HERE. / Jeffrey: All right! I hear Chicago is a pretty raw city! Can you show us how to get raw and nasty Chicago-style? / [[Johnny Sadpictures takes a stick and shows it to Jeffrey]] / [[Johnny Sadpictures walks off]] / [[Johnny Sadpictures sees a dead hobo]] / [[Johnny Sadpictures pokes the hobo with the stick]] / Johnny Sadpictures: CULTURE HAS ALWAYS BEEN DEAD
OVERCOMPENSATING: A 4/20 Day Tradition Jeffrey: Hey Weedmaster P, why ain't you higher than 100 Cheeches stapled to a hundred-foot-tall Chong? / Weedmaster P: Man even ol' George Clooney takes a break from screwin' supermodels once in a while / Jeffrey: Ha! It's 4/20 Day, Weedmaster P! You totally spaced on it because all the weed you smoke has ruined your mind! / Weedmaster P: No Dickass I'm making a statement against the commercialization of 4/20 Day / Jeffrey: Oh, like how I don't drink whiskey on St. Patrick Day! / Tallahassee: Or how I don't shoot up rabbit blood on Easter!
Earth Day 2010 {{Earth Day 2010}} / Tallahassee: Jeffrey, you got a package. It's from "The Ocean." / Jeffrey: Is that a six-pack holder? / Jeffrey: Oh, God... I remember this six-pack holder / [[thought bubble]] / Tallahassee: You should cut up that six-pack holder before you throw it out / Jeffrey: I doN'T b'lieve in no gLobal WaRmin / [[end of thought bubble]] / Tallahassee: What's the letter say? / Jeffrey: Oh God / Letter: THIS IS OUR DAUGHTER YOU KILLED HER HOW COULD YOU / Weedmaster P[[head and arm stuck in six-pack holder]]: AUGH I'M STUCK
The Executive and the Trash Pile [[Cinderblock room; "QUARANTINE AREA" painted on wall in yellow block letters. Jeffrey is lying on a pile of various discarded items.]] / Baby Lam?: Jeffrey why are you sleepin' in the company trashpile? / Jeffrey: wha /Jeffrey: who / Jeffrey: ugh / Jeffrey: I can't sleep in a comfy bed anymore. Whenever I feel comfortable on any part of my body I start feelin' *guilty*... / Jeffrey: When I sleep in a pile of trash it hurts all over me but at least it puts my brain at ease. / Babe Lam?: Jeffrey maybe you should see a doctor about how insane you are. / Jeffrey: I got so many problems with basically everything that it's pretty much impossible to do *anything.* / {{tagline: The biggest thing I have anxiety about is telling doctors about being insane.}} / {{alt-text: I do my best to keep my problems on the inside, where nobody can trip over them.}}
 

Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40
41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 >>