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| Groundhog's Day 2011: The Aftermath | Jeffrey Rowland: Whoa man that Groundhog's Day got a little too real. Maybe we should take it down a notch from here on out.
/ Weedmaster P: I THINK IT WAS A REAL PROPER ST. GROUNDHOG'S DAY THOUGH
/ Weedmaster P: I THINK OLD ST. GROUNDHOG WOULD'VE BEEN PROUD / Jeffrey Rowland: I just wish we hadn't got so old before we was able to do it like that. I'm gonna have to spend a month at the gym just workin' off that one night!
/ Weedmaster P: AND CHURCH
/ Jeffrey Rowland: No church is gonna have me. Not after that. / Jeffrey Rowland: I can't find my car. HAS ANYONE SEEN MY CAR?!
/ Weedmaster P: IT'S THE ONE WITH THE HORSE STICKING OUT OF IT http://overcompensating.com/posts/20110203.html |
| Interesting | Jeffrey Rowland: You know what I'm not interested in? Things that a lot of other people are interested in. / Jeffrey Rowland: I mean, I don't have a problem with other people liking those things. I'm sure those things are fine. They're just not for me. I'm interested in other things, you know? / Jeffrey Rowland: Anyway I'm gonna go on internet and talk about the things I'm not interested in to people who are probably all interested in those things. / Jeffrey Rowland: Ugh! Why can't people just accept that I'm not interested in the things other people are interested in?! / {{alt text: The other day I heard a popular song playing and I didn't recognize what it was because I'm not interested in that artist.}} http://overcompensating.com/posts/20110221.html |
| Interesting | Jeffrey Rowland: You know what I'm not interested in? Things that a lot of other people are interested in. / Jeffrey Rowland: I mean, I don't have a problem with other people liking those things. I'm sure those things are fine. They're just not for me. I'm interested in other things, you know? / Jeffrey Rowland: Anyway I'm gonna go on internet and talk about the things I'm not interested in to people who are probably all interested in those things. / Jeffrey Rowland: Ugh! Why can't people just accept that I'm not interested in the things other people are interested in?! / {{alt text: The other day I heard a popular song playing and I didn't recognize what it was because I'm not interested in that artist.}} http://overcompensating.com/posts/20110221.html |
| Wake Up Mr. Rowland | Jeffrey: Ugh hey Weedmaster P, how long have I been asleep?
/ Weedmaster P: A couple of months man / Jeffrey: Are people still saying "awesome and "hipster" too much?
/ Weedmaster P: You're god-damn right they are / Jeffrey: Is political discourse still just shouting opinions about subjective, hot-button issues based on poor understanding and outright ignorance about which agreements can never be reached?
/ Weedmaster P: The whole world is pretty much stompin' around the edge of chaos / Jeffrey: How me the top 10 trending topics on the Twitter. / Weedmaster P: Uhh are you sure man / Jeffrey: JUST SHOW ME. / [[Weedmaster P hands Jeffrey a smartphone]]
/ Jeffrey: HEH HEH HEH / [[Jeffrey wears an insane grin]]
/ Jeffrey: OH HEE HEE HEE / Jeffrey: HA HA HA HA HO HEE HEE HAAW HAWWW / {{caption: This town needs and enema}}
/ {{mouse-over: Thinkin' about making some cave-paintings of these trending topics so future generations won't have any sympathy for us.}} http://overcompensating.com/posts/20110325.html |
| How Can I Help | [[Jeffrey sits at a computer. A likeness of Homer Simpson looks over his shoulder.]]
/ Jeffrey: Man I can't believe how terrible that disaster is. I wish there was something I could do to help. / Homer: There's tons of things you can do to help! You can give blood or volunteer, or donate your old clothes. Heck, you could even go over there and / Jeffrey: I wish there was something I could do to help from this chair that I'm sitting in. / {{caption: set some of your old blood out by the curb for the volunteers to pick up}}
/ {{mouse-over: This one time I cured malaria simply by sitting on my ass and 'upvoting' something on reddit. http://overcompensating.com/posts/20110401.html |
| Minotaurs, Continued | Weedmaster P: Hey Dicky Fartin do you know what phase the moon is in
/ Jeffrey: Lemme think... uh... waxing cresent? Yeah, waxing crescent. / Weedmaster P: Oh son of a / < http://overcompensating.com/posts/20110405.html |
| Edge to Edge A.M. | Jeffrey: Welcome back to Edge to Edge A.M., I'm your host, Jeffrey Rowland. This hour... aw, screw it, let's do some open lines. Baby, from Easthampton, talk to me. / Baby: Th' other day I seen a shadow person under my bed so I prayed t' my energy crystals an' it transformed into an angelic unicorn made of pure white energy--
/ Jeffrey: Yeah, that's what happens when you pray to your energy crystals. Everyone knows that. Next caller. / Caller: How are you doing
/ Jeffrey: I'm FINE.
/ Caller: Uh okay well anyway the other night me and my girlfriend took a bunch of DMT and stared at a pony until it--
/ Caller: Turned into a lion and told you the secrets of the New World Order?
/ Jeffrey: Holy yeah how did you know / Jeffrey: I'm a late night A.M. radio host who'd give anthing to go back in time and avoid all the choices I made that resulted in this nightmare. Next caller. / {{caption: International lin, we have "Satan" from Kansas city. Satan, would you like to pay me back?}}
/ {{mouse-over: Next caller is Satan Lucifer, International Line. Go, buddy.}} http://overcompensating.com/posts/20110407.html |
| The Loneliness of a Top-Rated Late-Night AM Radio Host | [[Jeffrey and Joanna sit at a radio broadcasting desk]]
/ Jeffrey: Thanks for tuning in to Edge to Edge A.M. Lotta calls tonight about tacos and sandwiches. Just had a former porn star call in. What does it all mean? / Jeffrey: Let's go to the phones. Kenneth, truck driver in Kentucky, you're on the air, good buddy.
/ Kenneth: Oh, wow! How you doin' tonight?
/ Jeffrey: I'm FINE. Just like I was with the last caller, two minutes ago. Still doing fine.
/ Kenneth: Oh well all right anyway the other night I AUUUUUGh *CRASH* / Jeffrey: Let's go to... Satan, calling from Thrashing Sewage Orgy, Hell.
/ Satan: It is I, SATAN.
/ Jeffrey: Can you speak up, I can barely hear your voice over the cacophonous, flaming, sewer orgy.
/ Satan: It is I, SATAN.
/ Jeffrey: Buddy if you got a message can't you just make a statue come alive or kill a bunch of birds?
/ Satan: Thousands of bird carcasses is a surprisingly unfriendly medium. / {{caption: Satan will not be able to communicate without symbology until 6G is introduced}}
/ {{mouse-over: He tried to tell us something with bees a while back, but writing with millions of dead bees is like writing black-out drunk with crayons on wax paper on the Vomit Rocket.}} http://overcompensating.com/posts/20110408.html |
| Behind the Scenes at Edge to Edge AM | JR: Poopmonster, I love this late night paranormal radio idea we're doing, but there's a problem.
/ PM: What's that, bub? / JR: EVERYONE WHO CALLS IN IS A DERANGED, PARANOID IDIOT WHO WOULD BE LIVING IN A SPECIAL HOSPITAL IF OUR HEALTH AND EDUCATION SYSTEMS WEREN'T COMPLETELY BROKEN! / PM: You've been recording it, right?
/ JR: It's uh... it's being recorded...
/ PM: By whom?
/ JR: The government. / Tag: IF OUR HEALTH AND EDUCATION SYSTEMS WEREN'T BROKEN 75% OF AMERICANS WOULD BE IMMORTAL MOVIE STARS
/ Alt-text: Gov'ment's got money to eavesdrop on my conversations about aliens with men who live alone in the desert but ain't got money to disclose the truth about alien-human hybrids? I'm joinin' the Energy Drink Party. http://overcompensating.com/posts/20110412.html |
| Fire Bad | [[Jeffrey sits on the ground, holding Joanna, while Weedmaster P stands, wearing a 'FIRE BAD' t-shirt]]
/ Jeffrey: It's like I'm scared but I'm not even sure what I'm scared of.
/ Weedmaster P: I'm scared of fire. / [[Weedmaster P's shirt now reads "IN CASE of FIRE BRING IT ON"]]
/ Jeffrey: The sun's made of fire. Are you scared of the sun?
/ Weedmaster P: A humongous ball of fire floating in space. You're goddamn right I'm scared of the sun / [[Weedmaster P's shirt now reads "LORD FYRE"]]
/ Jeffrey: But don't you need fire to burn you little marijuana doobies? Isn't that how you get your powers?
/ Weedmaster P: My life is a confusing whirlwind of terror and ecstacy / {{caption: All we are and know and will be is provided by a terrifying, deadly, floating, constant explosion}}
/ {{Weedmaster P is also afraid of his guts suddenly exploding, which for him is a far more reasonable thing to be scared of.}} http://overcompensating.com/posts/20110418.html |
| The Douchiest Thing | [[Jeffrey sits in front of a computer, wearing cyberpunk goggles, while Tallahassee stands in a nightgown]]
/ Tallahassee: God dangit what's all this god dang racket?
/ Jeffrey: I'm cruisin' the internet pretendin' to be other people talkin' about how great I am. / Tallahasse: Jeffrey that's called "sock-puppet stalkin". It's literally the most douchey thing you can do.
/ Jeffrey: I bet I can think of somethin' douchier! / [[Jeffrey, pencil in hand, begins drawing something on a piece of paper]]
/ < http://overcompensating.com/posts/20110419.html |
| 4/20 Day, 2011 | [[Jeffrey walks in on Weedmaster P in a haze of pot smoke]]
/ Jeffrey: Happy Marijuana Day, Weedmaster P!
/ Weedmaster P: WHOA IS IT 4/20 ALREADY IT WAS JUST GROUNDHOG'S DAY
/ Weedmaster P: YOU WANNA SMOKE A BOWL / Jeffrey: I better not. 4/20 is also my Dad's birthday, and I get all sad when I think about my Dad because the last time I talked to him he defended his gay-bashing by explaining that the Bible says they should be killed, and then asked me if I was gay.
/ Weedmaster P: WHAT THE FUCK / [[Jeffrey stares blankly, silent]] / [[Jeffrey reaches out his hand]]
/ Jeffrey: On second thought, pass that shit. http://overcompensating.com/posts/20110420.html |
| Countdown to Armageddon | Jeffrey Rowland: What are you workin' out for, J.C.? You training for somethin'?
/ J.C.: Haven't you heard? Judgement Day is next month. I gotta get pumped up for the Battle of Armageddon!
/ Jeffrey Rowland: Wait what? / J.C.: May 21 it's goin' down! Mark of the Beast, rising dead, angels fightin' dragons, the whole nine. It's gonna be off the chain! / Jeffrey Rowland: Grab your things, Weedmaster P! We have to go as buck fuckin' wild as possible before 11:59pm on May 20, then we'll ask for forgiveness and accept Christ and go straight to Heaven!
/ Weedmaster P: I DON'T HAVE ANY THINGS / {{alt-text: I think as long as your blood alcohol level is less than 0.5% it still counts but I'm not entirely sure. We're looking into it.}} / {{caption: OH IT'S GOOD FRIDAY ISN'T IT. HAPPY GOOD FRIDAY! *SWEATS, TUGS AT COLLAR*}} http://overcompensating.com/posts/20110422.html |
| Eostre 2011 | [[Baby wears flower scrunchies while Jeffrey plays games with a joystick and Weedmaster P eats a corn dog]]
/ Baby: It's easter an' th' Rapture is less than a month away. Why ehn't you boys goin' buck wile?
/ Jeffrey: I can't get a new credit card 'cause apparently I still owe T-mobile $4.26 from six years ago.
/ Weedmaster P: And I can't get one cause I don't legally exist / Baby: Why d'ya need credit cards t' get buck wile?
/ Weedmaster P: Cause if you sin on Easter JEsus gets super upset but God don't consider credit card fraud a sin
/ Weedmaster P: In fact you get 1,000 extra heaven bucks for doin it when you die / [[Jeffrey's shirt reads: if you can read this something terrible has happened]]
/ Baby: Why d'you care about sinnin' now? Y' didn't care about it last week when y' was sinnin'!
/ Jeffrey: Baby if we're gonna use this Rapture thing as our court defense we need to at least pretend to believe in it. / {{caption: We were gonna fraud the shit out of some credit cards}}
/ {{mouse-over: Weedmaster P is eating his corn dog COMPLETELY wrong}} http://overcompensating.com/posts/20110425.html |
| Abortion Comix | [[Jeffrey sits in a quarantine area with Joanna and a mug that reads "I drink your milkshake"]]
/ Jeffrey: Man, abortion is a weird topic. I can't rightly have an opinion about it 'cause I'm a boy, and I can't make jokes about it 'cause it isn't funny in any way whatsoever. / {{caption: Ugh. Abortion.}}
/ {{mouse-over: Sometimes I joke that politically abortion should be mandatory but no one ever laughs.}} http://overcompensating.com/posts/20110427.html |
| Springtime in Easthampton | [[Jeffrey leaps into the air. Weedmaster P's shirt reads "GUMP"]]
/ Jeffrey: It's Spring-time again, bitches!
/ Weedmaster P: Time to enjot that shit while it lasts. / Jeffrey: What are you even talking about?
/ Weedmaster P: The reason they changed it from "global warming" to "global climate change" is 'cause the long-term result of the warming cycle is a permanent winter where everything dies. Some year Spring simply will not come. / Jeffrey: Is he right? I can't remember because the only way I lived through this past winter was to be in denial about everything.
/ Baby: Junk science! / {{caption: Junk science is like regular science except you don't agree with it and can't figure it out}}
/ {{mouse-over: The Notorious S.A.D.}} http://overcompensating.com/posts/20110429.html |
| I Was Wrong | [[Joanna lies on the floor while Jeffrey clutches his head]]
/ Weedmaster P: Remember that thing you said would never happen
/ Jeffrey: NO.
/ Weedmaster P: It happened / [[Weedmaster P holds a clipboard]]
/ Jeffrey: But everyone agreed with me that it was at the very least, extremely unlikely!
/ Weedmaster P: Welcome to credibility town I... I can't seem to find your name on the list of people who live here / [[Weedmaster P looks at his watch]]
/ Jeffrey: That's because there's no such place as "Credibility Town"! That's a stupid name for a town!
/ Weedmaster P: That reminds me I'm late for a toe-stubbing appointment in loser town / {{caption: Let's all pack up our clipboards and merit badges and empty voice mailboxes move to credibility town}}
/ {{mouse-over: In Loser Town everyone wears JNCOs and practical sunglasses. The mayor of Loser Town's favorite song is "All Star" by Smashmouth and she plays it before and after every speech.}} http://overcompensating.com/posts/20110502.html |
| Stinky Butt Jones | [[WeedMasterP, Tallahassee standing over Jeffery Rowland who is on the ground, terrible smell coming off him, looking upset]]
/ WeedMasterP: What Smells like a peed-on Hot dog up in this..
/ Female Character: Yeah! Something Stinks! It's like garlic boiling in throw-up!
/ Jeffery Rowland: It's me. I'm the stinky one. I'm the one who stinks. / [[Female character and Jeffery Rowland, holding bottle with poison symbol on it]]
/ Female Character: But you're a CEO! You're not supposed to smell like this!
/ Jeffery Rowland: I know. My stink glands developed an immunity to the hippy crystals I been usin' to tame the funk. Now it's either be stinky or use corporate mystery chemicals. / [[Female character reading bottle with poison symbol on it, Jeffery Rowland appearing angry]]
/ Female Character: Wow! Corporate Mystery Chemicals includes a secret ingredient that makes you think FACEBOOK is somehow necessary.
/ Jeffery Rowland: Then my stench shall be the stench of RESISTANCE! / [[tooltip: CEOs are supposed to smell like a mix between Drakkar Noir and ten thousand year old Scotch, I guess.]] http://overcompensating.com/posts/20110504.html |
| TCAF 2011 | [[Jeffrey, Andrew Hussie and Richard Stevens sit in the back of a van, bound by ropes]]
/ Jeffrey: Whuh... where are we? What's going on? / Tallahassee: We're on the way to the airport! We're going to Canadia for TCAF! / Jeffrey: But what about Spring Break? This is the last weekend we're legally allowed to have Spring Break! / Jeffrey: Call Ryan North and make sure they observe Spring Break in Canada! / [[Ryan North, wearing an ear-piece and headphone, sits shirtless on a recliner, revealing his lustrous body]]
/ Ryan North: "Sprong Brink?" Are you saying "Spring?" "Beak?" What, "Break?" Why would you want to break Spring? / {{caption: It's time to give back to Canada for all the things they've given us}}
/ {{mouse-over: It's time to bring Spring Break to Canada, much like how the Pilgrims brought materialism and smallpox to early America. Also Ryan North is clearly already celebrating Spring Break.}} http://overcompensating.com/posts/20110505.html |
| TCAF 2011 Aftermath | {{There is animation showing Jeffrey's pencil moving and his eye twitching in the last frame}} / [[Jeffrey is sitting, writing on paper]]
/ Jeffrey's thought: Dear piece of toilet paper that I found in an alley that I'm writing on with a cigarrette butt,
/ Jeffrey's thought: I swear I went into this with the best of intentions. / Jeffrey's thought: I thought bringing Spring Break to Canada would be a gift, but it turns out it was pretty much like bringing a set of scented candles to the Gathering of the Juggalos. / Jeffrey's thought: I'm sorry I let you down, Canada.
/ Jeffrey's thought: I'm sore-ey. / {{commentary: IT WAS SILLY TO TRY TO BRING SPRING BREAK INTO A COUNTRY WHERE SPRING BREAK IS LEGAL}} / {{title text: It's funny how Canadians say 'sore-ey' instead of 'sorry' and how instead of 'shit-boxes' they call them 'washroom' OH OOPS http://overcompensating.com/posts/20110510.html |
| Anchors Away | [[A figure resembling Jesus approaches Jeffrey and Weedmaster P]]
/ Jesus: Hey do you guys got a hammer? I need you to take these iron spikes and do something with them.
/ Jeffrey: Err... Um... Uhhh... Er... / Jesus: Huh? No, not like that! You need to hammer these into the ground and tie yourselves to them so you won't get yanked up into outer space when the Rapture happens on May 21st! / [[Jeffrey and Weedmaster P stare at each other]] / [[They are seen hammering spikes into the ground]] / {{commentary: WHEN THEY CAME UP WITH THE RAPTURE THEY DIDN'T REALLY TAKE INTO CONSIDERATION THE HORROR OF THE VAN ALLEN BELT}} / {{title text: Call me crazy but I'd rather be battling dragons and getting tattooed than choking to death in the MESOSPHERE.}} http://overcompensating.com/posts/20110512.html |
| I Am a Bee | [[Jeffrey is sitting at a bar in a bee costume; Tallahassee approaches from behind]]
/ Tallahassee: That reminds me, did they ever figure out why the bees were dying? Or did they figure it out and now we're ignoring it because the reason is too terrible?
/ Jeffrey Rowland: The bees were murdered, Tallahassee. / Tallahassee: By whom? Who would murder the bees?
/ Jeffrey: Could be anyone: Thanks to anti-bee propaganda movies like "My Girl"; everyone hates and fears the bees! / [[Jeffrey turns away]]
/ Tallahassee: I like bees!
/ Jeffrey: Oh really? When's the last time you hugged a bee?
/ Tallahassee: I... no one has ever hugged a bee! / [[Jeffrey cries for the lonely bees]] / {{commentary: HUG A BEE TODAY.BUT IF IT STINGS YOU DON'T GET MAD. THAT'S THE BEE'S WAY OF TELLING YOU IT DOESN'T LIKE YOU.}} / {{title text: The movie 'My Girl' is 20 years old, but the bees are still feeling the effects.}} http://overcompensating.com/posts/20110513.html |
| Six Days to Armageddon | [[Jeffrey holds his hands to his cheeks in alarm; Weedmaster P is sitting on the ground]]
/ Jeffrey: Oh noes! The end of the world is in six days! What are we gonna do?!
/ Weedmaster P: BRING IT ON OR JUST GET IT OVER WITH I DON'T EVEN CARE ANYMORE / [[Inri (Jesus) comes stands behind Jeffrey with his arms crossed]]
/ Inri (Jesus): You know Jeffrey, no one thinks you're clever or brave by mocking something that a few people earnestly believe will happen even though it's almost 100% unlikely to happen.
/ Jeffrey: What... what do you mean "almost"? / [[Inri (Jesus) and Jeffrey stand face to face]]
/ Inri (Jesus): I mean it's definitely unlikely. Not as unlikely as the series of events that eventually resulted in your existence but still pretty unlikely.
/ Jeffrey: That's just barely likely at all! / {{caption: This entire situation is almost 100% impossible}}
/ {{mouse-over: No one could have predicted the extinction of the dinosaurs because at the time it was extremely unlike human beings could ever somehow eventually develop.}} http://overcompensating.com/posts/20110516.html |
| Six Days to Armageddon | [[Jeffrey holds his hands to his cheeks in alarm; Weedmaster P is sitting on the ground]]
/ Jeffrey: Oh noes! The end of the world is in six days! What are we gonna do?!
/ Weedmaster P: BRING IT ON OR JUST GET IT OVER WITH I DON'T EVEN CARE ANYMORE / [[Inri (Jesus) comes stands behind Jeffrey with his arms crossed]]
/ Inri (Jesus): You know Jeffrey, no one thinks you're clever or brave by mocking something that a few people earnestly believe will happen even though it's almost 100% unlikely to happen.
/ Jeffrey: What... what do you mean "almost"? / [[Inri (Jesus) and Jeffrey stand face to face]]
/ Inri (Jesus): I mean it's definitely unlikely. Not as unlikely as the series of events that eventually resulted in your existence but still pretty unlikely.
/ Jeffrey: That's just barely likely at all! / {{caption: This entire situation is almost 100% impossible}}
/ {{mouse-over: No one could have predicted the extinction of the dinosaurs because at the time it was extremely unlike human beings could ever somehow eventually develop.}} http://overcompensating.com/posts/20110516.html |
| Contingency Plans | Weedmaster P: What's the matter butt muggle
/ Jeffrey: I think J.C. is right. Odds are I'm prob'ly not gonna get to see the end of the world for my birthday, much less in my lifetime. / Weedmaster P: Well it ain't exactly like you'd get to enjoy it
/ Jeffrey: I know, I know. It's the idea of it, you know.
/ Weedmaster P: I know / Weedmaster P: Tell you what if the world don't end on May 21 I'll make sure it happens the next day
/ Jeffrey: How? / [[Image of a sharped-toothed gremlin]]
/ Weedmaster P: I know a guy / {{caption: At first I thought he was talking about Bin Laden so I told him Bin Laden got killed and he was shocked}}
/ {{mouse-over: Man would you look at how I lined up the characters to the background in this one? Nice job Rowland. Nice job. (Also thanks Murr)}} http://overcompensating.com/posts/20110517.html |
| 27 Minutes | [[Jeffrey leans against a table, coffee mug in hand, wearing a shirt with a singing cat on it]]
/ Jeffrey: Accordin' to my calculations by deletin' my Facebook I freed up about 27 minutes a day!
/ Tallahassee: Wow, 27 minutes. That's what... a little over three hours a week? / Jeffrey: Dang tootin'! That's three hours I could be doing good stuff like figuring out how to skateboard again or volunteering at the Stupid People Center. / [[Joanna is in a barrel and Jeffrey rides a pink skateboard and a singlet that says [[SPC"]]
/ Narrator: LATER, AT THE STUPID PEOPLE CENTER
/ Baby: Do ye know where I go t' get on th' Facebook?
/ Jeffrey: Medical care. You need medical care.
/ Jeffrey: And food. / {{caption: The stupid people center is located conveniently between the keno hut and the rent-to-own diaper place}}
/ {{mouse-over: Every town should have a Stupid People Center, like a food bank but for people who need to be slapped and hollered at.}} http://overcompensating.com/posts/20110518.html |
| Rapture Ready | [[Jeffrey stands at a podium, to which a paper sign reading "c.e.o" is taped]]
/ Jeffrey: Okay, everyone. There's a teeny, tiny chance the Rapture is gonna happen in about two days so we need to get our heads in the game. / Jeffrey: Lucid John, what are you gonna do if the Lord appears in the sky to levitate His believers into the Heaven Portal?
/ Lucid John: Steal a fighter jet and shoot missiles into the Heaven Portal, then fly directly into it. / Jeffrey: What about you, Wolfman Green?
/ Wolfman Green: I'll be in the plane with John. Do they still make them stealth fighters? / Jeffrey: We were gonna tie ourselves to the ground just in case it was a trick but launching a military attack against Heaven actually seems pretty neat. / {{caption: We just have to hope the peraly gates don't have anti-aircraft artillery, oh wait we don't we got stealth}}
/ {{mouse-over: Worst-case scenario, we crash-land our fighter into Heaven and get sent to Hell for all eternity.}} http://overcompensating.com/posts/20110519.html |
| OVERCOMPENSATING: Rapture Ready Part Two | Jeffrey: Alright, let's go over this one more time. On Saturday if we start hearing space trumpets and folks start floatin' up to a Heaven Portal, we meet here. Then what?
/ Lucid John: Try to quit throwing up out of terror... / Lucid John: And then we bust through the gate and steal a fighter jet.
/ Jeffrey: Right. Do any of you guys know how to fly or start or get into a fighter jet? I used to work at the FAA and I'm pretty good at flight simulator games so I'd probably be good at it. / Lucid John: I think those planes are all made for just one person to be in.
/ Jeffrey: Then you dudes come over tonight and I'll see if my Microsoft Flight Simulator 2000 still plays. http://overcompensating.com/posts/20110520.html |
| Rapture Ready: Showdown at Pearly Gates | [[Jeffrey and Joanna lie alseep]]
/ Tallahassee: Jeffrey? Jeffrey! / [[Tallahassee is floating to the ceiling]]
/ Tallahassee: What's going on? / Jeffrey: Oh shit I gotta get to the air force base! / [[Jeffrey flies a fighter jet, and Wolfman Green and Lucid John fly a biplane behind him. Happy ghost-like people fly up through the sky to Heaven]]
/ Narrator: SOON
/ Jeffrey: The hardest part is tryin' not to hit all the floatin' bodies!
/ Wolfman: I need like a cow catcher on the front of mine! / Jeffrey: The Heaven Portal is dead ahead! Ready your missiles, Rogue 2! / Jeffrey: I've got tone. Eagle 20, fox two!
/ Jeffrey: Yee haw! / [[The heaven portal explodes, causing bodies to fly in all directions]]
/ < http://overcompensating.com/posts/20110521.html |
| Rapturmath 2011 | Weedmaster P: Hey toilet butt did the rapture happen or not
/ Jeffrey: No. Yes. I don't know. Either the old man's math was way off or the Rapture was inside of us the whole time or some shit. / [[A machine elf, carrying a hammer and hook, floats next to Weedmaster P]]
/ Weedmaster P: Oh okay I couldn't remember whether or not I was supposed to have Machine Elf unmake and rebuild reality if it happened or if it didn't / Jeffrey: Uhhh... I don't know, surprise me.
/ Weedmaster P: Okay / {{caption: Sometimes I wonder if M Night Shyamalan is a time traveler who wrote at least part of the Bible}}
/ {{mouse-over: Have you next reality professional rebuilt by the quality professionals down at at Self-Transforming Machine Elf's}} http://overcompensating.com/posts/20110525.html |
| Rapturmath 2011 Part Two | Jeffrey: HEY! I thought you said you was gonna have Machine Elf unmake and rebuild reality, what gives?!
/ Weedmaster P: PIPE DOWN NUT CHUGGER
/ Weedmaster P: I DID DO THAT
/ Jeffrey: WHAT? / Weedmaster P: MACHINE ELF REBUILT A PERFECT REPLICA OF "OLD REALITY" EXCEPT FOR THE PART WHERE SOMETHING HAPPENS TO YOU AFTER YOU DIE
/ Weedmaster P: NOW YOU JUST DIE / Jeffrey: But wait if that happened then how come there's still Bibles and Qurans and what not?
/ Weedmaster P: I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'VE NOTICED BUT I'M KIND OF A HUMONGOUS ASSHOLE / {{tagline: Machine Elf remade reality then flew away in his tiny Humvee}}
/ {{roll-over text: It took a quadrillion years for Machine Elf to rebuild Reality, but less than a second lapsed to its inhabitants.}} http://overcompensating.com/posts/20110526.html |
| Doctor's Visit | [[Doc Hastings sits drawing at a desk, a stack of books stacked next to him]]
/ Jeffrey: Doc Hastings, are you done drawin' in all them books yet? The train's almost here?
/ Doc Hastings: My task is near its completion. The train, it will wait. / Jeffrey: Look, I understand drawin' in people's books is like your eleventh favorite thing to do, but--
/ Doc Hastings: Tenth. It is my tenth favorite thing to do.
/ Jeffrey: I thought you said it was your eleventh favorite thing... / [[Doc Hastings puts a hand to his face]] / [[He looks up]] / [[He closes his eyes]] / [[He opens them again]]
/ Doc Hastings: It was... / {{caption: ...But then his favorite coffee shop got destroyed by a meteor}}
/ {{mouse-over: ...but then somebody beat his high score on the Starsky and Hutch pinball game at Subway.}} http://overcompensating.com/posts/20110527.html |
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