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THE BIRD FLU Jeffrey: Somebody is watching me... / Jeffrey: Who's there?! / Warren Ellis: Come, Sparrow. Now that we've found Jeffrey Rowland, all that's left is to destroy him. / Warren Ellis: I am... / Warren Ellis: THE BIRD FLU!! / Sparrow: Cheep cheep! / Warren Ellis: ...and SPARROW!
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20051019.html
THE ENGLISHMAN AGES ON [[ Baby hands the phone to Jeffrey ]] / Jeffrey: Baby, I think I'm goin' wacko! I keep seein' this tiny man flyin' on a bird outta the corner of my eye. / Baby: Etelphone, Jeffrey. I think it's The Englishman. / [[ The Englishman is speaking on the phone in what appears to be a castle ]] / Jeffrey: Oh God dammit- / The Englishman: Greetings, my American counterpart. I trust your psychotic, ADHD-riddled brain has forgotten today is my birthday? / [[ Jeffrey is talking on the phone; two ninjas huddle nearby ]] / Jeffrey: I ain't forgot. It's just... well, I'm crazy. / The Englishman: I realize this, Jeffrey, so I have enlisted the assistance of some... friends to assist you in delivering your required largess. / Weedmaster P: HEY WHERE'S ALL THE DAMN GROCERIES AT / Baby: Jeffrey, if you got a PDA this wouldn't happen. / Jeffrey: I don't trust the government.
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20051020.html
OPERATION FREEDOM SHOWERS [[Jeffrey and the Mr Jon Rosenberg are driving in a black unmarked van down a highway]] / Jeffrey: [[thinking]] Operation Freedom Showers was underway. / But my heart just wasn't into it. / Jeffrey: [[thinking]] A tiny man riding on a bird had been following me for days. / Jeffrey: [[thinking]] I don't know what it means when a tiny man on a bird is following you... / ...I think that is what the problem is.
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20051024.html
HEIMLICH [[Jeffrey, Baby and Wil Wheaton are in the warehouse. Jeffrey and Baby are wearing Star Trek uniforms: Jeffrey a red TNG uniform and Baby a mauve TOS dress. Baby is eating tortilla chips from an orange bag.]] / Jeffrey: Today we have a special guest on Overcompensating! His name is Wil Wheaton and he was the first teen on "Star Track." / Wil Wheaton: I didn't agree to this. / [[Baby starts choking on her chips, turning red]] / Baby: <> / Wil Wheaton: Don't panic, I'm a blogger. / {{Wil Wheaton brings up Google}} / HIME LICK MANOVER
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20051026.html
WASH YOUR HANDS SAY UGH (Ode To Mr Hands) [[ Baby, Jeffrey, and Weedmaster P are looking at two flat panel monitors]] / Baby: Oh, Jeffrey, that is so disgusting. / Jeffrey: Ugh. / Weedmaster P: MAN WHY WOULD A GROWN MAN GET A HORSE TO DO THAT TO HIM / Jeffrey: That's it, I'm gonna make a sign. / Weedmaster P: PLAY IT AGAIN FIRST / Jeffrey: Yeah, OK. / [[ posted sign on a bulletin board ]] / Sign: EMPLOYEES MUST WASH HANDS "AFTER USING INTER NET"
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20051027.html
 
ABU BABES [[ Jeffrey is tending bar at an aquarium ]] / Jeffrey: Hey Weedmaster P, wanna try my new drink? It's called the "Abu Gharib." / Weedmaster P: SURE THING LAY IT ON ME HOSS / [[ Jeffrey pouring liquids from two bottles into a cup simultaneously ]] / Jeffrey: First you mix equal parts scotch and vodka... / [[ Jeffrey holds the positive and negative clamps of a set of jumper cables; Weedmaster P gestures towards his crotch ]] / Jeffrey: Then I attach these jumper cables to your testicles. / Weedmaster P: OKAY THEN WHAT / [[ Jeffrey sports a look of consternation ]]
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20051028.html
FRIGHT CLUB [[ Jeffrey, bound in duct tape and smiling, with a hand gun pointed at his head by an unknown person off panel ]] / Narrator: OPTIMISM! / Jeffrey: Gunpoint? More like funpoint! / [[ Goth Baby? and Jeffrey looking beat-up ]] / Baby?: Nobody actually likes the flavor of roasted marshmallows, they're just nice about it. / Jeffrey: That's true! / [[ Weedmaster P as the prince from Katamari Damacy and Jeffrey dressed as the late NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt looking at various sundry items on a table ]] / Weedmaster P: WHERE WOULD WE BE WITHOUT THE HUMBLE TABLE / Jeffrey: Ass-deep in crap piled up on the floor.
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20051031.html
THE TROUBLE WITH PEANUTS [[ Jeffrey and The Poopmonster wading in a room filled chest-high with packing peanuts ]] / Jeffrey: Where are all these packing peanuts coming from?! / The Poopmonster: Somethin's got my leg! / [[ Jeffrey and Baby standing in a room filled chest-high with packing peanuts, Jeffrey's hand outstretched holding two packing peanuts ]] / Jeffrey: Look, Baby, look! / Baby: Oh my God! / [[ Close-up of Jeffrey's hand holding two copulating packing peanuts in his palm ]]
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20051101.html
CATBANK Narrator: MEANWHILE, AT THE BUSINESS LOAN DEPARTMENT AT CATBANK... / Cat banker: Is it shiny? / Cat customer: It is so Goddamn shiny you can barely look at it. / [[ Cat banker looks at the loan application, tongue distended in thought ]] / Cat banker: Is it... jangly?
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20051104.html
A PEANUTS RETROSPECTIVE Weedmaster P: JEFFREY DO YOU WANT TO READ MY NEW "PEANUTS" ADVENTURE BOOK / Jeffrey: Sure! It's wonderful to see you doing something creative! / [[ Close-up of the manuscript cover, titled SHOOT THAT BITCH, CHARLE BROWN and depicting a drawing of an angry Charlie Brown shooting a hand gun ]] / [[ Jeffrey reading the manuscript with an alarmed expression and crying ]]
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20051108.html
 
ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT Baby: Jeffrey... they... those bastards cancelled "Arrested Development." / Jeffrey: GRAARG! / [[Jeffrey flying in a fighter jet]] / Jeffrey: Isn't there something you can do, Gob Bluth? / Gob Bluth: I'm a magician, Jeffrey. Not an arsonist.
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20051111.html
Wheezer [[Jeffrey and Baby are in the warehouse. Jeffrey is carrying a small box labelled 'goats'.]] / Jeffrey: GASP! WHEEZ! GASP! / Baby: Jeffrey, yer wheezin'! / [[Jeffrey sits and opens a pack of cigarettes.]] / Jeffrey: I ain't wheezin'! Did you not see how heavy that box was? / Baby: Jeffrey, you ehn't a teenager now. Y'need to quit smokin'. / [[Outside the window, Warren Ellis smokes a cigarette.]] / Jeffrey: Then I will quit smoking, but not because I was wheezing which is wasn't. / Warren Ellis: He won't last an hour... / Warren Ellis: Not if I can help it. / {{title text: Smoking is for teenagers.}}
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20051114.html
MISTER FAGBUTT [[Jeffrey is a sleep in bed. Tiny Warren Ellis walks across his mattress.]] / Warren Ellis: Jeffrey Rowland must not quit smoking... it's the only way I have a shot at outliving him... / [[Jeffrey is naked and flying through the sky on a magic cigarette. A cowboy hat covers his shame.]] / Narrator: MEANWHILE / Jeffrey: Mr. Fagbutt, take me to flavor country. / [[Mr. Fagbutt turns his psychotic glowing red face to Jeffrey and breathes smoke at him.]] / Mr. Fagbutt: You got it, Jeffrey! / Jeffrey: Oh God Oh God / {{title text: Imagine Mr. Fagbutt's voice as Pokey being burned alive}}
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20051116.html
A DRUGGED-OUT GANGSTA PIMP Jeffrey: I just need to sit in the dark in absolute silence. / Weedmaster P: CHECK IT OUT JEFFREY I FINALLY CAUGHT ME A MACHINE ELF / Jeffrey: Weedmaster P have you been using drugs?! / Weedmaster P: MAYBE I MEAN I DID CATCH A MACHINE ELF. / Machine Elf: <>
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20051119.html
SELL IT FOR CASH [[Cinematic icons display: LUCASFILM Ltd PRESENTS WALK THE LINE LUCASFILM THX]] / [[Johnny Cash walking on the surface of what appears to be Tatooine. A small arrow indicates that he is CGI.]] / Johnny Cash: Ooh, Johnny Cash got a bad feelin' 'bout this! / [[The Death Star II looms above an ocean sunset in the background.]] / Policeman: Johnny Cash, you under arrest for playin' Devil rock music! / Johnny Cash: How wude! / [[Johnny Cash gives the reader a big thumbs down as a TIE Fighter flies out of an enormous explosion behind him.]]
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20051121.html
 
THANKSTAKING Baby: Yay, it's finally Thanksgiving! / Jeffrey: Yeah, "thanks for the genocide and smallpox, Whitey!" / Baby: But Jeffrey, you're half white- / Jeffrey: It doesn't matter. I got my sister Mashley here and together we are one full Cherokee. It's ThanksTAKING. / Mashley: How do we celebrate Thankstaking? / Jeffrey: Put on your moccasins. We've got some mansions to break in to and throw up in.
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20051123.html
JOANNA HAS AN EATING DISORDER Baby: Oh my God! Joanna! / Baby: Jeffrey look what 'appened to Joanna! / Jeffrey: Good God, woman, get that thing away from me! / Jeffrey: Ma'am, my cat has an eating disorder because of low self-esteem. / Dominatrix: Do you think you're at a veterinarian's office? / Jeffrey: It doesn't matter.
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20051128.html
HAPPY AIDS DAY Weedmaster P: HEY GUYS WHAT ARE WE DOING FOR AIDS DAY THIS YEAR / Baby: Today is AIDS day? / Jeffrey: Woah! / Jeffrey: I think this year's theme should be... DON'T GET AIDS / [[Text displays: "Don't Get AIDS FROM YOUR FRIENDS AT OVERCOMPENSATING.COM"]] / [[Weedmaster P wears a condom hat, Jeffrey has needles stuck into his arms and torso, and Baby is dressed as an AIDS virus]]
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20051201.html
OVERCOMPENSATING: The True Story of a Boy With Poor Impulse Control Jeffrey: Why aren't the TopatoCo orders shipping faster? / Weedmaster P: MAN I JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE WITH [[The name has been blacked out, replaced by:]] the president of the t-shirts company / [[T-SHIRT COMPANY HEADQUARTERS - L.A.]] / President: [[Speaking into a telephone while grabbing a sexy lady's butt]] What? I haven't got time for this! I live in a weird, trashy, fantasy sex world. / [[Jeffrey is reading his e-mail]] / E-Mail: Dear TopatoCo Customer / Your order is kind of late because the president of [[in blacked-out text]]the t-shirt company[[blacked-out text ends]] lives in a weird 1970s sex fantasy. / -TopatoCo
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20051206.html
JESUS BUILT MY CABINETS George Bush: The Lord God built the world in seven days! / Jeffrey: Obviously. / Jeffrey: There's black holes and asteroids everywhere, reality is impossible to comprehend; every aspect of existence is utterly terrifying. / George Bush: The Lord works in mysterious ways. / Jeffrey: Don't tell me you wouldn't fire a contractor who used that as an excuse.
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20051208.html
 
THINGS TO DO IN DENVER WHEN YOU'RE A CAT [[Joanna holds up a list labeled "Things to Do!"]] / [[Joanna sits in a bean bag chair in front of a small table writing]] / [[Joanna writing on the list]] / [[Joanna holds up the list and scrutinizes it]] / [[The list has one to-do item on it: puke.]]
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20051212.html
THE GRANDFATHER PARADOX Weedmaster P: IF YOU GO BACK IN TIME AND KILL YOUR GRANDPA YOU WILL CEASE TO EXIST / Jeffrey: It's like a half-price sale on murder-suicides! / Weedmaster P: POTENTIALLY A MASS-MURDER-SUICIDE DEPENDING ON HOW FAR BACK IN TIME YOU GO / Jeffrey: Hold on, there's somebody at the door. / [[An old man with bionic implants points a gun at Jeffrey]] / Jeffrey: Grandpa? / Grandpa: Not exactly.
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20051213.html
BACK IN TIME Baby: Jeffrey, I think Weedmaster P has a time machine. / Jeffrey: There's no such thing as a time machine! / Jeffrey: Although if there was, Weedmaster P is the last person who should have access to one... / Baby: There he is! Hey, Weedy! Where ya going? / [[Weedmaster P is wearing a cowboy outfit and carrying a baby machine elf]] / Weedmaster P: I'M GOING TO THE OLD WEST I MEAN THE STORE I'LL BE BACK THREE DAYS AGO / I MEAN LATER
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20051214.html
JEFFREY vs THE T-SHIRT COMPANY [[Jeffrey is lying on his side]] / Weedmaster P: WHAT'S WRONG JEFFREY DID SOMEONE TRICK YOU INTO WATCHING THAT HORSE VIDEO AGAIN / Jeffrey: The T-shirts company called me and told me to take down a comic I did about them. / Weedmaster P: WHO CALLED YOU LIKE WHAT COMPANY WAS IT / Jeffrey: USA Garments. It was someone who works with their president, Dave C. Horny. / Weedmaster P: MAN YOU CAN'T LET THEM CENSOR YOU / Jeffrey: What can I do? They're a huge company and I am just a boy! / [[The Woods. An observatory squats amid the trees, while in the foreground is a mailbox with "THE EVIL DR. TSHIRT" written on it]] / Weedmaster P: THERE IS A MAN A MAN WHO CAN HELP YOU / [[Evil Dr. Tshirt sits in a throne, sleeping]] / [[Evil Dr. Tshirt wakes up and looks startled]]
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20051216.html
THE ORIGIN OF THE EVIL DOCTOR T-SHIRT Weedmaster P: CONTRARY TO BELIEFS THE EVIL DR TSHIRT WAS NOT EVIL BUT WAS VERY KIND HIS TSHIRT COMPANY WAS BASED ON INNOCENCE FUN AND FAIR LABOR / Jeffrey: Go on... / Weedmaster P: OKAY / [[Dave C. Horny and two sleazy-looking models stand laughing at Evil Dr. Tshirt, who is looking down]] / Weedmaster P: [[narrating]] ENTER DAVE C. HORNY WHO FORCED THE EVIL DR TSHIRT OUT OF BUSINESS WITH HIS SEXUALLY DEPRAVED AND SLEAZY BUSINESS MODELS / Jeffrey: You're really good at telling this story, Weedmaster P! / Weedmaster P: MY AUNTIE USED TO TELL IT TO ME
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20051219.html
 
THE GRINCH WHO GROPED X-MAS Jeffrey: Then let's go find the Evil Dr. T-Shirt and destroy Dave C. Horny! / Weedmaster P: UNFORTUNATELY I AM FAR TOO HIGH TO GO ON A MISSION THERE IS ANOTHER / Poopmonster: Let's do this. The Poopmonster is ready to brawl. / Jeffrey: [[hugging Weedmaster P]] Goodbye, Weedmaster P. If you need me, just call my name. / [[Poopmonster and Jeffrey head off into dark woods while text above them says: OVERCOMPENSATING PRESENTS "The Grinch Who Groped Xmas" AN XMAS STORY
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20051220.html
THE T-PLANE Jeffrey: Evil Dr. T-Shirt, can you help us battle USA Garments president Dave C. Horny? / Evil Dr. T-Shirt: I'm outta the T-Shirt game, boys. I got no interest in ever seein' Dave C. Horny's face again. / Jeffrey: I beg you, Dr. T-Shirt... Dave C. Horny's right-hand woman told me to remove a comic... on the _phone_. / Evil Dr. T-Shirt: My God. He is out of control. / [[A T-shirt-shaped airplane takes off out of the observatory]] / Evil Dr. T-Shirt: Every time I try to get out... they pull me back in. / [[Jeffrey, Evil Dr. T-Shirt and Poopmonster sit in the cockpit of the airplane]] / Jeffrey: I can't believe your airplane is shaped like a T-Shirt, Dr. T-Shirt. That's wild. / Evil Dr. T-Shirt: I used to take T-shirts very seriously.
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20051221.html
He Likes To Do Things That Are Fun [[USA GARMENTS HQ]] / Dr. T-Shirt: Keep your eyes peeled, gentlemen... Dave C. Horny is near. I can feel his presence. / Dave C. Horny: Hey! What are you kids doing in my headquarters? / Jeffrey: It's him! / Dr. T-Shirt: Stand back. / Dr. T-Shirt: THESE... COLORS... DON'T... RUN! / Jeffrey: Hold on I want to talk to him. / Jeffrey: Why did you make me remove one of my comics, Dave C. Horny. / Dave: 'Cause it made my company look bad! / Jeffrey: I see. / Jeffrey: Well how come you act kind of pervy? / Dave: It's fun to act pervy! I like to do things that are fun! / Jeffrey: But... but I like to do things that are fun, too!
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20051224.html
The Cowboy Poet and the Jew Jeffrey: I can't believe how much we have in common, Dave C. Horny. / Dave C. Horny: I know, it's like we're related. / Dave: Well, goodbye new friends! I'm off to a Hannukah party with movie stars! / Jeffrey: Yeah I'm going to do something similar. / Jeffrey: Man, I wish I was a creepy, oversexed president of a t-shirt company. / Poopmonster: I guess you'll have to settle with being the creepy, oversexed president of a t-shirt company.
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20051225.html
The Eighth Wonder Weedmaster P: JEFFREY YOU WERE IN TWO BIG MAGAZINES THIS MONTH BECAUSE YOU HELPED POPULARIZE A MOVIE THAT DOESN'T COME OUT FOR LIKE NINE MONTHS / Jeffrey: Yep. / Weedmaster P: TOO BAD YOUR ORIGINAL WORK ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH TO ATTRACT ANY MAINSTREAM ATTENTION / Jeffrey: Eh. / Weedmaster P: JAGOFF / Weedmaster P: WELL I'M LATE FOR AN INTERVIEW ABOUT THE TIME I MADE IT TO THE EIGHTH STAGE / Jeffrey: You made it to the eighth stage? / Weedmaster P: TUNE IN FOR THE WHOLE STORY
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20051226.html
 

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