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| White Ninja witnesses an accident | [old lady hit by car] / 911 / Yes, hello. I'm looking for Amanda Kiss / Ha ha ha. *click* http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/accident.shtml |
| White Ninja and the acrobats | I want to be an acrobat too. / grunt / grunt / Catch me! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/acrobats.shtml |
| White Ninja is a doctor | It wasn't an asthma attack Elliot / Turns out you're a fish. From now on you should only breath underwater. / [2 hours later] dead / I got one! / Blah, this fish tastes funny
/ If you want my professional opinion, I'd say that probably means you are a fish. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/adoctor.shtml |
| White Ninja has a lobster | scuttle scuttle / Oh, a little puppy dog! / No... I was wrong. But I have brain damage so that's okay. / What's your name little fella?
/ Um, mental-lady, he's a lobster. They don't talk. / I htink he likes you / Of course he does... He's a Luvbster http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/alobster.shtml |
| White Ninja learns the alphabet | P P P P P / Q... Q Q Q Q Q Q / I am learning the alphabet. This is the letter "R" / Oh yah. Well what letter is this? / How about this one!? / C'mon stupid, this one is easy! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/alphabet.shtml |
| White Ninja's shoulder angel | Hello Shoulder Angel / Hi / Are you talking to me? http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/angel.shtml |
| White Ninja has a bad anniversary | Honey, I bought you an oval for our anniversary / What the crap am I going to do with a dumb oval?! / Lots of things! Like, um, using it for tracing! / or throwing it in the garbage / I saw it and I thought you'd like it. / you knew I really wanted the number 5 this year. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/anniversary.shtml |
| White Ninja and the apology | I'm sorry I turned you into a coconut, dad. / Apology NOT accepted. / I'll accept your apology.
/ umm... / It's good for my karma. I've got some bad things to make up for. / If I want to be reincarnated as a panther, I gotta get to work. / Sadly, White Ninja doesn't collect enough apologies...
/ I... http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/apology.shtml |
| White Ninja visits an appraiser | I'd like to have my rhubarb appraised / I brought some pictures / Sir this is for antique appraisals / Oh. Well, where are the rhubarb appraisals? / Perhaps someone at the county fair will appreciate your photographs. / [the county fair] This is celery!
/ It's not ripe yet! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/appraiser.shtml |
| White Ninja is into aquasicising | I'm totally sweating. / The water's resistance is so exhausting / It's like air times ten / Soon I'll move on to pudding. / Oh, feel the burn. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/aquacising.shtml |
| White Ninja's arch enemies | Gasp, my arch enemies... / The Colonel, Hockey-mask-baseball man, and The Hornet! Oh NO! / Am I doomed?! / you are more doomed than anything / can you smell my fear? / I can smell it and you guys can't http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/arch.shtml |
| White Ninja: the achaeologist | Dinosaur Bones! / These aren't dinosaur bones! / It's the missing link between the monkeys and humans! / But Dr. McLeod, how can you be sure it is not merely the offspring of a monkey and a human? / Because, Stupid! My son does not look like that at all. Look! / Hi dad http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/archaeology.shtml |
| White Ninja and his son are always arguing | You think it's easy being a teenager!
/ Easier than raising an ungrateful brat like you! / I'd switch places with you in an instant! (unison) / THUNDER! / Oh not! It really happened. (unison) / Jinx! / Meanwhile in a far-away land...
/ I have a feeling I am needed! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/arguing.shtml |
| White Ninja and the armless man | You don't have any arms / Nope. But I still have fingers! Take a look! / can you hold this coffee cup? / well isn't that the cat's meow. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/armless.shtml |
| White Ninja designs a coat of arms | I need a coat of arms for my mansion / You better not get any of that on the table again! / okay, you're good. / I'm watching you! / [I smell] http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/arms.shtml |
| White Ninja has arrow-heads | Check out my arrow-head collection / These specimens are most peculiar / It's no sharp anymore, but you can clearly see where it was attached to the shaft / [later...] / steady... / I hope - you like - apple-ka-bob! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/arrowheads.shtml |
| White Ninja takes an art class | I hate painting fruit! / I'm only good at muscle-men and fast cars / Be quiet! You will draw what I say because I am the teacher! / Okay, everybody listen up! I just had an idea! / I want you all to paint a muscle man in a sports car! / Yes! this is my thing!
/ vroom! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/artclass.shtml |
| White Ninja is a failure as an artist | Nobody ever buys my paintings / That's because they're all of spider-man eating corn on the cob! / Nooo! in this one he's husking corn on the cob. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/artist.shtml |
| White Ninja is artistic | It's a marshmellow snowman! / Wow! "Participant" / What the... I worked my butt off for that! / ow! my conscience! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/artistic.shtml |
| White Ninja is an art major | I'm done. / Perhaps the human figure isn't your thing. Try a still-life of your choice. / 8 mintues later: I'm done! / #1 CLAY SCULPTURE / It's not very good... but giving you anything but the top mark seems unfair. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/artmajor.shtml |
| White Ninja goes to an assembly | Did you guys remember we have an assembly to go to today? / I brought a cushion so I don't have to sit on the hard floor. / comfiest bum in the world right here. / nice. / I would like to remind our students that proper Rememberance Day Assembly etiquette requires you to keep your shits on.
/ But... http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/assembly.shtml |
| White Ninja can't see atoms | Atoms are too small to be seen. / What about midgets? Can they see atoms? / Interesting theory... / No. You would have to be at least as small as an ant to see atoms. / What if I squatted? could I see them? / Squatting midgets, perhaps. You? Never. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/atoms.shtml |
| White Ninja's awesome prank | APRIL FOOL's! I sewed your neckhole shut / Ahh, man, why would you do that? It's July! / January... February... March
/ grunt / April... May... Tuesday... oh yah, there's glue in there too... June... July... / Joy Buzzer!
/ BZZZ! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/awesomeprank.shtml |
| White Ninja humors a baby skunk | stink! / Oh nooooo! You got me! / I stink really bad now. / Shhh! Here comes Sheriff Moonyham! / hee hee
/ snicker / STINK! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/babyskunk.shtml |
| White Ninja is a really bad student driver | 'Kay, I'm driving for the next bit. You're, like, the world's worst driver / seriously, you're going to drive us off a cliff / worse! He drove us right into the side of a cliff, pow! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/baddriver.shtml |
| White Ninja has bad skin | I have mad acne on my forehead / I don't see any acne / Well it's there! You must have glaucoma or something! / Here. Have some glaucoma medicine. / There's nothing in your hand. / Sure there I take this stuff for my acne. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/badskin.shtml |
| White Ninja's bag-head girlfriend | 'kay, we've been dating one year. You promised you'd take the bag off. / I can't. I'm too hideous. / It's ok. I don't care what you look like on the outside. I only care about what you look like on the inside. / But, I'm just blood and bones on the inside.
/ Can I see? / Um... you can see on our two-year... http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/baghead.shtml |
| White Ninja and the bag of hair | Bzzzzzzzz / It's all yours, buddy / munch munch munch / lick / What did you think?
/ It was good... for a brunette http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/bagofhair.shtml |
| White Ninja and the baker | Hey Baker, you know what's a good bread? Sour dough is a good bread / Stop following me! / Besides, the best bread is cake! / Hey Cook, one BLT on chocolate cake / See? / the things you learn as a baker's apprentice.
/ Stop following me! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/baker.shtml |
| White Ninja and the banjo raccoon | I'm an awesome taxidermist / Except for my snakes. I suck at snakes. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/banjo.shtml |
| White Ninja loves barbeque | I love barbeque / I love you too. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/barbeque.shtml |
| White Ninja is a barber | So Carl, how do you want your hair cut today?
/ Just the usual / Why would you give me a comb-over? I'm not even bald http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/barber.shtml |
| White Ninja plays baseball | crack! / Dude, I'm sorry. are you okay?
/ yah, I'm okay / AHHHH! crack http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/baseball.shtml |
| White Ninja is Batman | I AM BATMAN / DIE PENGUIN / DIE CATWOMAN / Thanks for filling in for me White Ninja / DIE CATWOMAN http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/batman.shtml |
| White Ninja's birthday party | wish / ha ha ha White Ninja has a girlfriend ha ha ha / SHUT UP! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/bday.shtml |
| White Ninja and the mystery beast | are your supposed to be a dog, or what? / woob woob / ok, so are you supposed to be a bird then, or something? / woob woob / An elephant!... I think / slap slap slap slap slap http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/beast.shtml |
| White Ninja's beauty mark | You're an artist, Jake / Would it look dumb if we shaped it like a star? / [a couple minutes later] Meh, I don't like it that much. How about a moustache? / You're not putting curlies on, are you!? / Wow, nice cover-up! I'll pass your name along to all my friends. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/beautymark.shtml |
| White Ninja's bed time story | Daddy, can you read me a bed time story? / Once there was a little cream puff who grew up to be a weiner because his daddy read him beddy-time stories. The end. / Does the weinder marry a handsome prince?!
/ maybe. If he brushes his teeth. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/bedtime.shtml |
| White Bee Ninja | White Ninja is not a bee.
/ BZZZZ / But his sweater is. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/bee.shtml |
| White Ninja befriends a small child | Nobody likes me, Everybody hates me... / ... Guess I'll go eat worms / I like you / Pedophile! / You wish! You wish I was a pedophile because then someone would liek you. But nobody likes you!
/ You think I'm hot! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/befriends.shtml |
| White Ninja's belated birthday | I just realized that I didn't get any presents when I turned zero. / Hey everyone! I'm having my zero-th birthday party this weekend. Bring presents! / Later: that's better http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/belated.shtml |
| White Ninja and the best crayon | [crayon]
/ [bottle] / crap
/ [crayon in bottle] / [rattle rattle] / phew! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/bestcrayon.shtml |
| White Ninja and the best stick | Hey give me that stick
/ Get your own stick / [the best stick] / NO! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/beststick.shtml |
| White Ninja is betrayed | Alright, what's going on here? / we're having an affair on you / well, I don't like the sounds og that... please explain. / I see. / well, if that's the case, then we're getting a divorce... and Tom can't be my friend anymore http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/betrayed.shtml |
| White Ninja has a better body | Hey, your body is beating up my body / punch punch / victory / your body fights like a weenie / bam bam bam bam bam / Go away! I don't want people to see me with you http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/better.shtml |
| White Ninja's big day | jump / Dear Diary, Today I jumped a bump http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/bigday.shtml |
| White Ninja and a big egg | are you feeling better yet, Humpty Dumpty? / BLAH! / What kind fo bird would that have been? http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/bigegg.shtml |
| White Ninja has a big fish | Ha Ha! Cuppy-head fish! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/bigfish.shtml |
| White Ninja and Bill | Hey White Ninja *puff puff* / Hey Bill
/ Does it look like I'm improving? *pant pant* / you're already the fastest peanut in the world... WHOA, your shoelace is untied. Let me get it for you / why thank-you, that's very... AAAUGH / what's going on, buddy? / from now on Dillan is my number one pe... http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/bill.shtml |
| White Ninja gets biologied | That'll teach you to fall asleep in my biology class / I'm covered in blood. / Try to keep the white blood cells. They'll help you get better. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/biologied.shtml |
| White Ninja's bird | There you go birdy, back in the clink. / You won't escape again... / Cuz this time it's Alcatraz! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/bird.shtml |
| White Ninja has a happy birthday | Happy Birthday to me... / Happy Birthday to me...
/ [kaiser bun] / Happy Birthday dear White ninja / Happy Birthday I suck! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/birthday.shtml |
| White Ninja helps a blind man | EXCUSE ME, I'M BLIND! CAN YOU HELP ME FIND THE BATHROOM? / Down the hall and to the left. / I DON'T THINK I'M GOING TO MAKE IT! / stop squirming, you're embarassing me. / JUST KIDDING! / I'M NOT EVEN BLIND! THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH ME AT ALL! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/blindman.shtml |
| White Ninja sells rubies | Rubies for sale / bling bling http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/bling.shtml |
| White ninja has a blood bath | oh, sorry... - AAAH! You're bleeding! / Ha! It's not my blood, Denny! I'm having a blood bath / Ugh Dude! That's so disgusting!! / You're sitting in a pool of your own filth! I only take blood showers http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/bloodbath.shtml |
| White Ninja has big blue eyes | Yikes! / Did you get contact?!
/ No. My eyes have always been like this. / Remember: in high school I won the "Prettiest Eyes Contest"
/ Yay
/ You have nice eyes / I used the trophy as a waterbottle when I played sports... / And when it's sunny, it makes a pretty good hat http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/blueeyes.shtml |
| White Ninja in: bone bike | [ding ding] http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/bonebike.shtml |
| White Ninja writes a book | What are you so happy about? / I just published an autobiography / And everybody in the world is reading it! / Does everybody in the world include mice? / I doubt it. You'd think mice would just want to read books about other mice. Little mini mice books. / And they'd be written in cheese 'cause... http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/book.shtml |
| White Ninja loses his boomerang | [boomerang] / crap / crap crap crap http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/boomerang.shtml |
| White Ninja is bothered by a turtle | What do you want? / I already told you, I'm not buying your tobacco anymore / You'll have to get someone else to pull for you. / Hi there little fellow. What do you want? / He wants tobacco! Don't give it to him! / fuss fuss fuss fuss http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/bothered.shtml |
| White Ninja and the braggart | I grew this moustache in a week. / I grew a numchuck for your face... in a we-uh-second! / Lets see if those teeth grow back in a week! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/braggart.shtml |
| White Ninja brags | our TV is bigger than your TV / My lamp is brighter than yours / The couch at my house is comfier than this one / That's great! I'm happy for you. I really am. / My girlfriend is a lot better looking than your girlfriend. / [later] Christmas list: a really, really bright lamp http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/brags.shtml |
| White Ninja eats his brain | [fumble fumble splat!] / waaah! / Quick! Pick it up! Five second rule! Five second rule!
/ No. It's too late. / They're no good now. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/brain.shtml |
| White Ninja has breakfast | snap crackle pop / snap crackle pop / splash! / Tarzan? is that you? / you are not a riced krisper http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/breakfast.shtml |
| White Ninja's breakthrough | It's a scientific breakthrough / I can clone purple by mixing blue and red / Actually, to clone purple you would need to start with a single cell from a pre-existing purple / I did / No you didn't. All you've done is destroyed a perfectly good red and blue. / Now they'll have to be criogenically... http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/breakthrough.shtml |
| White Ninja's brew | Oh baby! that's good! / whatcha cookin?
/ Get in my pot / you are cooking me in your pot
/ yes I am / My skin is coming off http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/brew.shtml |
| White Ninja and the bucket of eyes | Ouch! my ankle / poor eye http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/bucket.shtml |
| White Ninja knows how to handle bullies | Dad, there's a bully that's bugging me at school. / Repel the bully with love http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/bullies.shtml |
| White Ninja is a heartless bully | Who wants a slice of raisin bread? / I hope it's not as sucky as your last loaf! / No! I want the big slice!
/ But... / I need that for my starving family / But I neeed it / Bud I need it. Bud I need it. Boo hoo hoo http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/bully.shtml |
| White Ninja's bumper sticker | Hey White Ninja what do you think of my new bumper sticker? / "I BRAKE FOR PEDESTRIANS" / It's pretty great hey?
/ No. It's lame-o. / Check out my bumper sticker.
/ NO FEAR / If you're not living on the edge. You're taking up too much space. / No get out of here Mr. Safety before I decide to wheelie... http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/bumpersticker.shtml |
| White Ninja and the dead bunny | poor dead bunny / sniff sniff
/ what happened to Bilbo, White Ninja? / His heart must have exploded... from loving me too much http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/bunny.shtml |
| White Ninja's locker is busted | Stupid Locker! / I'll get that for you / Wow! You must do pilates. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/busted.shtml |
| Whtie Ninja and the cactuses | Oh, that's adorable! / A daddy cactus, and a mommy cactus, and their two little baby cactuses / How was your day, honey? / Oh, not bad. I'm just a cactus. / I wish my family was as accepting as these guys
/ sigh http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/cactuses.shtml |
| White Ninja: the camel | wassamatter? you never seen a camel before? / I store water in this hump so that I don't get thirsty as often / I know what a camel is! You're just a dirty hunchback / true... but I have the spirit of a camel. / ... I live with camels and have adopted their ways / Once I put iced tea in my hump http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/camel.shtml |
| White Ninja goes to camp | There's too many flying raisins at this camp / [swish swish] / flies, White Ninja. They're just called flies. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/camp.shtml |
| White Ninja goes camping with a guy | The stars look brighter out here in the wilderness. / Pass me some of those beans, will ya? / Thanks.. hey, look at the moon!
/ That's like the world's tiniest moon, eh?
/ um / These are good beans!
/ It's cherry pie filling / ... world's tiniest moon?
/ poo! spilled on my pants http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/camping.shtml |
| White Ninja helps can-boy | clip clop clip clop / can you help me sir? There is a tin can stuck on my foot / careful... / OW! STOP! IT HURTS!
/ just one more... / AAA!
/ RIP! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/canboy.shtml |
| White Ninja in Christmas is cancelled | sorry kids, but we won't be having Christmas this year. / Santa Claus passed away / The elves mutinied. They stabbed him with icicles - Julius Caesar style. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/cancelled.shtml |
| White Ninja's cat can sit | Sit down, Taffy. / struggle grunt meh / Man, what's wrong with you dumb cat?
/ What?! what did you say?! / sit on your bum, no on your face! / Like this! See?! See, stupid cat? / He gets confused cuz of the way my bum looks like a cat face http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/cansit.shtml |
| White Ninja can't sleep | beep beep boop / Hello?
/ Mom, do I have a big head? http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/cantsleep.shtml |
| White Ninja upgrades his cassette deck | I think it's high time I get a fancy new music player / Answering machine, you were a good home entertainment system. Good-bye. / [At the electronics store] So, is this what you trendy kids are calling a 'Ghetto Blaster'?
/ No... that's a waffle maker. / [back home] Answering machine, I got something... http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/cassette.shtml |
| White Ninja in: cat fetish | meow / meow / purrr!
/ sick http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/catfetish.shtml |
| White Ninja cat ninja | rear! / She has your eyes... but she doesn't look at all like me. / You've been cheating on me! / Meanwhile...
/ Pumas make the best milkmen / MeanMeanwhile...
/ Gotta deliver this mail on time. / This is a temporary solution. I don't want people to think our marriage is in shambles. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/catninja.shtml |
| White Ninja changes for the better | Look what I changed into / Wow, you changed into a satyr / You mean, billy-goat pants. / I liked your old pants. / You have no taste. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/changes.shtml |
| White Ninja donates his time to charity | It's awfully nice of you boys to put on a puppet play for the orphanage... / ... but even we have standards. Have either of you even seen a sock puppet before? http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/charity.shtml |
| White Ninja gets a check-up | you have a very irregular heart beat / ... as it is beating up your lungs! / Thank-you, doctor. I'll have a word with it. / Thump! thump thump thump Thump! / [later] you idiot! We want it to look like an accident! CIGARETTES! That doctor is probably calling the cops right now! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/checkup.shtml |
| White Ninja helps a chicken | I have to go to the bathroom. Could you hatch this for me? / Hmmm / Ah! Hot! / You think that's hot? / Wow! You're ripped. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/chicken.shtml |
| White Ninja goes to Church | You're new here. My name is Anna. / What's wrong? / You have the same name as my banana! / Anna Banana. Bana-mana Manana Anna the Bananaaaa http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/church.shtml |
| White Ninja stumbles upon a strange city | What strange city is this? / I built it. It took me all morning. / Did you build it for the Octopus royalty?
/ Uh, no.
/ I bet the king would hire me to be his jester. I'm pretty funny you know. / See! My underwear is showing! Ha! / Ha ha ha! You're hired! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/city.shtml |
| White Ninja chooses his classes wisely | I'm sick of math. I want to study something cool. / Like anatomy! / ... and this is the arm bone. / I suggest we move class outside to study babes. / whistle.
/ Class, that there is a 10. / No. Shut up. I hate math! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/classes.shtml |
| White Ninja is Santa Claus | Are you sure about this? / I don't think there's enough toys in this bag. / very good, Sprinkles... you saved Christmas http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/claus.shtml |
| White Ninja looks at clouds | That cloud looks just like an airplane / I think it looks more like an episode of Frasier / Not, it's a plane. Look! / That's because you are only looking with your eyes. / Did you bump your head on a retard or something? / Perhaps. Or perhaps I am simply retarded. It's all about perspective. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/clouds.shtml |
| Whtie Ninja seeks advice from Colin | Colin, I need seom advice / Ever since I became a cactus, all my old friends have been distancing themselves from me / I'm thinking about giving up the life / What are you thinking? / I'm going to sell you / I could get a lot of money for a talking cactus http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/colin.shtml |
| White Ninja does stand-up comedy | wakka wakka wakka / Boo! you stink!
/ that's not funny!
/ Booo! / Don't worry about them. They don't appreciate your genius / stick with me, kid. We'll find an audience for your humor.
/ [later] what do you get when you cross a peach and... um, a tuna... TUNA-PEACH!
/ Boo Boo Boo / Ha ha ha. Tuna-peach!... http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/comedy.shtml |
| White Ninja: live in concert | This is a song I wrote about a forbidden love. / [strum strum strum] / One day there was a robot! Oh, and that robot was so cool. But no one really liked him, so he wasn't really that cool! / But I liked him and I loved him like a man loves a dog 'cause a dog's like a robot that's not made of metal. / You're... http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/concert.shtml |
| White Ninja is content | WATTERBOTTLE!... I mean melon. / Ar rar rar rar http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/content.shtml |
| White Ninja enjoys a cookie | wow, that looks like a good cookie / would you like a bite?
/ no, that's okay. I'll just watch. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/cookie.shtml |
| White Ninja uses a cordless phone | Hey Dale. What's the difference between a deadly viper and a delicious sausage? / I don't know, what? / Oh, well do you know anyone who might know? http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/cordless.shtml |
| White Ninja is in a corner | [corner] / Mrs. Andrews, look what I'm doing / I'm busy, you'll have to come here and show me. / I can't come there or I'll ruin it! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/corner.shtml |
| White Ninja wants cosmetic surgery | I would like to have some cosmetic surgery done / Ah, excellent. What did you have in mind? / I want a bigger booty / I brought my own donor / He told me he wanted to donate his organs before he died, mysteriously. / well, usually we just use these rubbery... is that my secretary. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/cosmetic.shtml |
| White Ninja in: the sleeping couple | Goodnight, Love.
/ Goodnight / ZZZZZZ / whisk! / Stop stealing the blankets! / I'm not! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/couple.shtml |
| White Ninja's stupid cousin | I'm bored.
/ Why don't you play with your cousin? / I don't want to. He's always singing about stuff. / It's nintendo time in the neighborhood / Well I think he sings lovely. Go play. / oh oh ohhh Down at the nintendo fac-to-ry! / YOU SHOULD LEARN TO SING REAL SONGS! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/cousin.shtml |
| White Ninja digs the Crash Test Dummies | Who put the dog in the dog house?
/ You did baby, you did / Who put the cat in the cat house / I did you filty turd, now get back in there! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/crashtest.shtml |
| White Ninja's good crystal | Honey, where's my good crystal? / Thank you fairy godmother for these lovely glass slippers / They're stillettos http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/crystal.shtml |
| White Ninja and the tasty cucumber | snifff! / chomp chomp / fumble / mysterious ooze / Mutation! / pickle http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/cucumber.shtml |
| White Ninja builds a dam | where are you finding all these sticks?
/ There's a bunch in the woods. / Oh... I've been using frogs / This dam sucks.
/ ribbit ribbit http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/dam.shtml |
| White Ninja's date | you've probably been wondering about this crown on my head, huh? / I'm not a king if that's what you're thinking / nope. Just a regular guy http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/date.shtml |
| White Ninja recalls days of old | In the old days:
/ That'll be 6 pieces of cheese. / That was before I invented money.
/ Really? / Thanks to White Ninja:
/ That'll be 6 pieces of cheese. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/daysofold.shtml |
| White Ninja and the little boy that died | [little boy in jar] / [smash] / [little girl in a jar] / [tip]
/ AAAAAAAAA! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/deadboy.shtml |
| White Ninja and the dead chicken | bok bok / [chicken tears] / [RIP chicken] / The undertaker... bok did a good job... bok bok / [later] um num num / yum... salmonelly for my belly http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/deadchicken.shtml |
| White Ninja eats a dead man | gulp gulp
/ Ahem! / What seems to be the problem officer? http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/deadman.shtml |
| White Ninja and the angel of death | Hey, cool sword / It's not a sword, it's a...
/ CAN I SEE IT! / crap / I don't need it anyways! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/death.shtml |
| White Ninja defaces public property | Oh no! The police! / Quick! Turn invisible! / Psst! Mike, I can still see you / Let's go. In the car, boys. / [later] Great. Now, we're in jail / Like I care. I'm invisible. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/defaces.shtml |
| White Ninja and the best defense in the world. | Your honor, my client would like to remind the court that he cannot practically be punished for the crimes he is charged with because... / ... he is a ghost.
/ wink / wink http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/defense.shtml |
| White Ninja and the baby delivery doctor | Dr. Cyril, you are needed in the delivery room / Ah crap! / The doctor will be with you shortly, miss / Okay, let's get this done with! / Holy smokes! That must be a 15-pounder! / Nurse, take a picture http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/delivery.shtml |
| White Ninja is a dentist | Dentist, my teeth don't feel too good / hmm... let me just scrape them with this metal hook / It's are I feared... It looks like we need to exchange your teeth with bird's beaks... / You see, it is a well-documented fact that bird's beaks are superior in nearly every way to teeth. No cavaties, being... http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/dentist.shtml |
| White Ninja's dinner party | I would like to thank you all for coming to my party / If you will excuse me for just one minute... I have to check on my spines / spines? / excuse me. We were just wondering what you meant when you said... / would you like to hold one? http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/dinner.shtml |
| White Ninja and the dinosaur | chew chew / What's this?
/ gulp / stay extinct!
/ stomp stomp stomp http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/dinosaur.shtml |
| White Ninja's troubling discovery | sigh / Yuck / White Ninja? Is that you? / Hey Ron, 'sup? http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/discovery.shtml |
| White Ninja tastes dish soap | swish swish / Dude, what are you doing!? / You can't seriously think you're washing those dishes / No. I'm spitting soap on them. I'm not stupid. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/dishsoap.shtml |
| White Ninja goes to the doctor | what's wrong with me, doctor? / I'm afraid you have butt-disease / I knew it / uh... I have to go check on... uh something / ha ha ha, I told him he had butt-disease http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/doctor.shtml |
| White Ninja takes his dog to the doctor | Doctor, my wiener dog has diabetes, look. / I guess that means he'll need extra love, huh? / Actually, dogs with diabetes need less love http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/dog.shtml |
| White Ninja in: Dog bite! | Your dog bit my son / um, well, your son was the last one to touch him, so technically he was bitten by his own dog. / Well at least give the boy his dog back.
/ Finders keepers! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/dogbite.shtml |
| White Ninja dog sits | White Ninja, will you look after my dog this weekend? / oooo-kaaaay. Just put him down over there. / Well, maybe I...
/ It's fine, Kenny. Me and the little guy will have fun / next week: His arms fell off / Dogs only have legs. Not arms. / Ew! What are these then? http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/dogsits.shtml |
| White Ninja is a dreaded pirate | Arrr. I'm cap'n hook-head / Your father scalped my and left me with this cursed hook for a head / I'll let you off this time with a really short haircut.
/ I've been warned sir. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/dreaded.shtml |
| White Ninja's terrible dream | NIGHTMARE / I'm sorry son, but you kitty is dead. / The old lady in the basement ate it. / Grandma...?
/ Yeah... we're all out of groceries. / When you get more, can you pick up some fruit cups? / Fruit cups mmmm http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/dream.shtml |
| White Ninja gets dressed | I can't see!! / How did this happen? how will I survive? / Doctor, I lost my eye sight
/ OH NO Come in immediately / I was fine when I woke up this morning
/ you shirt is on backwards / oh yah, here's the tag... http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/dressed.shtml |
| White Ninja dresses like a flower | I dare you to pollinate me / Why would I pollinate you Mr. Ninja? You're not even I real flower / Becuz yes I am a real flower! / Pollinate me! / Okayyyy, you are beeeing pollinated. Yes you are. / Why did you want me to pollinate you?
/ I forget! Crap! I- It-er-uh... crappy! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/dresses.shtml |
| White Ninja doesn't like to drink | I brought you some punch / No thanks. I'm content with this cup of flour / gulp gulp / I'm the soberest guy here. / Jealous?! / I'm the life of the party!
/ Ewww, what smells like flour? http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/drink.shtml |
| White Ninja drives a car | one... two... three / ... JUMP! / [mangled cat] http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/drives.shtml |
| White Ninja gets drive-thru | I'll have a cheeseburger combo / would you like it supersized? / No. I'm a pussy. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/drivethru.shtml |
| White Ninja and the duck | come on, go between my legs / Here's some bread, you can have it if you go between my legs. / I'm just gonna put it on the ground behind me, right here. / come on! It's delicious freakin' bread! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/duck.shtml |
| White Ninja meets Duckface | wanna see me look like a duck? / Nice job. Wanna see me look like an elephant?
/ um, no. / wiggle / blip blip http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/duckface.shtml |
| White Ninja gets a dummy | DOKTER DOKTER http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/dummy.shtml |
| White Ninja gets dumped | We're not dating anymore / I have a new boyfriend / and he's better than you because he's a dinosaur / I can't compete with a dinosaur / Except maybe in a long-distance foot race. / She'll come back when she sees how far I can run http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/dumped.shtml |
| White Ninja eats kiwis | you sure do eat a lot of kiwis / who are you? The kiwi police?! / I'm a kiwi deputy! / Well deputy, as you can see, I have a serious kiwi problem. / My diet consists of 90% kiwi and 10% breathing / As long as he's using and not dealing, there's nothing we can do. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/eatkiwi.shtml |
| White Ninja eats newspaper | un num num! / Where's the obituaries? / Did you eat it again? You know I like to read the obituaries during my breakfast! / Then I cut them out and put them on the fridge / That's my thing! I don't go and mess up your hockey cad collection. / That's cuz HOCKEY RULES! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/eatnews.shtml |
| White Ninja meets with his editor | Well, Mr. Ninja, we are all very excited to read your new novel. / Umm, perhaps you can tell me the premise of your book...? / grunt. / struggle struggle. / Ta da! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/editor.shtml |
| White Ninja has an egg | Hey White Ninja! What the heck are you shaking that egg for? You trying to make scrambled eggs? Ha! Ha! Ha! / For your information Darcy, I'm trying to... it's none of your dumb business / Man, I can not stand that guy / I am so sexy and popular and all the ladies probably want me http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/egg.shtml |
| White Ninja doesn't read emotions well | Hi, Pop! / Ha ha ha ha / Fooled you! I'm just a guy in a suit! Sucker. / Well, if you're not my son, then, where is he?
/ I'm wearing him. / Awkward. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/emotions.shtml |
| White Ninja is conscious of the environment | Greeny-Jo-Jo! What's up? / Oh, you know... women... / Are women polluting again? Arg! / No, actually. It's just -
/ Oh, how could I be so blind?! / Ohh! Look at this! I wonder who left this here? / Oh, well that actually was a woman, but that's not what I'm talking about. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/environment.shtml |
| White Ninja and the European dog | whoa, whats' wrong with your freaky dog, man? / It's a pure-bread. I use him for breeding. / But you're both boys. / You pervert! I don't make love to my dog, besides... / ... he told me he likes you! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/european.shtml |
| White Ninja knows everything | I'm a pompous know-it-all / smoke smoke smoke / I made this pipe from a cob of corn.
/ wow. you are really smart. / Now go away. You are making me look less smart. / sir, you can't smoke in here / I know that! ... I know everything http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/everything.shtml |
| White Ninja's above average eyesight | Doctor, my pupils burned holes in my eyelids because of my x-ray vision. / X-ray vision is impossible, unless you buy magic specs, like there. / I can see your boobs. / And I see your boobs with my eyes closed. Cuz of my x-ray vision. / X-ray vision and hole-punching your eyelids are not the same... http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/eyesight.shtml |
| White Ninja smells fabulous | I received a compliment on how good I smelled yesterday. / As a result, I tried to smell the exact same way today. So how am I doing? / Positive reinforcement has made you a slave to people's compliments. / You're right, Gus. From now on my aroma will be determined randomly by the events of each unique... http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/fabulous.shtml |
| White Ninja's face lift | Hullo, friend. Do you like my tight, wrinkle-free face?
/ Yes! / What do they do with the extra skin after? / It's pulled back in a scrunchie. / It eventually dries up and falls off. Just like casterating a bull. / That prune's got my name written all over it. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/facelift.shtml |
| White Ninja fishes in the family room | Dad, can I borrow the car?
/ Sure, come here, heh heh. / Yum! A worm! / GOTCHA!
/ mmm! / reel reel reel reel http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/familyroom.shtml |
| White Ninja on the farm | Welcome to my farm / ... But stay away from the ducks! / sigh / QUACK QUACK
/ I TOLD YOU TO STAY AWAY FROM THE DUCKS! / only I can be with the ducks. / GASP! I'll KILL YOU!
/ purrr http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/farm.shtml |
| White Ninja is a father | Can we name it Basil? / or maybe we should name him Andrew... / ... or grape juice... hmmm / You shouldn't have handed him to me, because I'm going to hold him forever / [thirteen years later] Dad, how come you don't hold me anymore? / uh... it's difficult to explain, braces - I mean puberty...... http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/father.shtml |
| White Ninja gets a Father's Day card | Daddy, I made you a Father's day card / Daddy, Yuo are a wise man. Yuo are a janitor. Mila / do your mind if I laminate this and keep it forever? / love. / GAH! / Sorry honey. Daddy thought his had turned into a card for a second there. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/fathersday.shtml |
| White Ninja and the fat turtle | Fat turtle! / Don't worry, I'll help you get the ladies. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/fatturtle.shtml |
| White Ninja's feet hurt | My feet as sore! / What are you talking about? You lost your feet in 'Nam. / Oh yeah... 'Nam... / [Memories] Private, I have a top secret mission for you / I need you to stay the cap out of the way. I'm taking your feet to make sure. / I'm a war hero! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/feet.shtml |
| White Ninja fends off a vampire | White Ninja, does this look like a vampie bite to you? / Oh man! I'm totally a vampire now / Can I please suck your blood? / Ew! No! You have cold sores. / Here. you can have my scab / Vampire Fact: Vampies will accept a scab donation in exchange for a proper blood-sucking http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/fendsoff.shtml |
| White Ninja is fit as a fiddle | White Ninja, how do you saty in suck good shape? I've tried everything! / Have you tried breast reduction surgery? / No, but that's a good idea... / Well, you're in luck, because I happen to be a breast reducer. Let me have a look. / Purple Nurple!
/ AAAH! / Ha ha ha ha ha http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/fiddle.shtml |
| White Ninja backs up his files | Done. / I now have a hard copy of each symbol in case the machine malfunctions. / A... B... C... D... / ...period... colon... / ...semi-colon ...
/ (shudder) http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/files.shtml |
| Find 6 funny things in this picture | Okay, guy what is your problem
/ [salami] / 1. Skeleton is wearing a top hat
/ 2. Pears don't talk
/ 3. Sign is upside down
/ 4. Pear is stepping in dog poop
/ 5. Salami is not getting eaten
/ 6. The skeleton has a problem http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/findfunny.shtml |
| White Ninja is on fire | I'm on fire / Oh no! White Ninja, you're on fire!
/ I know / Oooh, that feels good. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/fire.shtml |
| White Ninja has fire power | FIRE POWER! / you fire power is lame / wahhhh! I can't get up! wahhh! / lame. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/firepower.shtml |
| White Ninja in: first words | Hey! I can talk! These are my first words ever! / Are you my dinner? / No, I'm your son. You cloned me in this paper plate. / Oh right! My paper laboratory, I call it. / Hi-five for me! I can clone people. / Is it ethical, in your mind, to clone people? http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/first.shtml |
| White Ninja's first date ever | How was your date, Son? / It was great. I did exactly what you told me. / wanna French? http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/firstdate.shtml |
| White Ninja eats fish | Daddy, my fish still has bones in it. / Stop being a baby and eat them like a man! / I can't, it's too gross.
/ Do it or I'll lock you in the dungeon! / Very well then, take me to the dungeon / [The Dungeon] What are you guys here for? / I got a pimple
/ My capri pants were too long http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/fish.shtml |
| White Ninja fishes | Catchin' some big ones, Barry?
/ Yup. / Let's by mermaids http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/fishes.shtml |
| White Ninja loves a fish | I love you! / It will never work out. We are from two different worlds, you and I. / Okay, well there's like a bunch of reasons it will never work out http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/fishlove.shtml |
| White Ninja gets his dog fixed | Sorry I had your testes removed / Oh whatever! It's not that big a deal. / what's wrong with Sparky, White Ninja?
/ whimper / I got him fixed and now I think his hormones are out of whack. / No crying! You're still a man! / Stop it! Stop it or I'll have to remove your heart too, little mister fe... http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/fixed.shtml |
| White Ninja is getting flabby | [I am so fat] http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/flabby.shtml |
| White Ninja and the floating boy | I used to be able to float / Don't like, White Ninja. Nobody like a liar / I'm not lying. You are! / Give me a ride! / Ah yes, just as I remember it. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/float.shtml |
| How White Ninja got a flower | would you like a flower? / Do you like it? I took it form that little boy's grave http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/flower.shtml |
| White Ninja plays football | Hey there, sexies. I'm a quarterback. / I can throw this ball into outer space. / Well, I can't do it if you two are holding on to my rocket launchers! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/football.shtml |
| White Ninja is a forensic investigator | Part one / [clues evidence DNA] / Part two - the forensic lab / uh uh! mine is way smaller http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/forensic.shtml |
| White Ninja and the freaky bird | [flap flap flap] http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/freakybird.shtml |
| White Ninja and the fridge of blood | [blood] / Ha ha ha
/ [kick me!] http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/fridge.shtml |
| White Ninja's friend can do a trick | watch this, man / you think that's impressive, check out this little move. / Hellow, I'm Mr. Stomach face. / Wet willy! / bet that feels pretty gross, huh? http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/friendtrick.shtml |
| White Ninja is at a funeral | hey, this coffin is too small
/ shhh / He's all scrunched up like this.... / .... and his knees are all bent up
/ be nice. That's not polite / NO, LOOK! HE'S RIGHT! / I hope out coffins are better than that http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/funeral.shtml |
| White Ninja plays a fun game | You can jump on furniture, pillows and blankets... / But if you step on the floor, the alligator will get you. / I'm on a chair, Gator!
/ Hisss! / rar ar rar ar! / Jake! get off the pillows! Gators like pillows! / Hiss! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/fungame.shtml |
| White Ninja and the generous toad | No, it's really comfy, man. You can try mine if you want. / [5 min later] I think I'll stick with my recliner, Mike / I guess I just don't understand the whole toad stool thing. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/generoustoad.shtml |
| White Ninja finds a bottle with a genie in it | It's my genie bottle!
/ I saw it first! / [poof] / I'm the genie of the bottle. You each get three wishes. / which of you will make the first wish? / I'll let White Ninja go first because I'm a good friend
/ very well / wish number one: I wish this jerk doesn't get any wishes! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/genie.shtml |
| White Ninja and the geologist | Hey Geologist! / Want this rock? / Can't have it! / It dates back to the Jurassic period, you know. / Plus, it has, like, volcanic properties and historic significance to many different religions... http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/geologist.shtml |
| White Ninja has tea with a giant | Sorry Giant, that's my biggest tea cup. / Ding DONG!
/ Open up!
/ Gasp! The police! / You ratted me out!!! / Holy crap! Holy crap! Holy crap! Holy crap! / I got it! I'll get them to drop the charges by impersonating a police officer! / I swear to you fellow officers, he was dead when I found him. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/giant.shtml |
| White Ninja gets a gift | Merry Christmas! / The ghost of Christmas past!? / Didn't you get me that last year? I've got Dejavu. / I'll show you what you got last year! [time travel] / [last year] see?
/ GHOST DAD! / That's your birthday and Christmas gift.
/ December birthdays suck. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/gift.shtml |
| White Ninja's girlfriend is introduced to his family | I've had a wonderful time with you tonight, Mary-Lou / I'd like you to come in and meet my family / Everybody, this is my girlfriend, Larry-Moo / I mean Mary-Lou! / She's a dermatologist / can I feel your skin? http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/girlfriend.shtml |
| White Ninja's wife gives birth | XYNXFE!
/ Push, honey, push. / Here it comes! / It's a blue shirt! / It's adorable! / My wife wanted a pink one, but we'll love it anyway. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/givesbirth.shtml |
| White Ninja's cat wears glasses | I told you that you have a good face for glasses / I'm intimidated by how smart you look
/ meow / here, you step on this calculator and I'll take a picture. / meow / Unbelievable! People will think these were photo-shopped. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/glasses.shtml |
| White Ninja is a godfather | oooh, he's sooo tiny and precious / He couldn't be cuter if he were the offspring of two other babies. / coochie coo! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/godfather.shtml |
| White Ninja's fairy god mother | Hello, I am your fairy god mother / Do you want to race? / I'll race you to that tree over there / I'm totally beating you! You stink! / I'm your fairy god mother. Do you want to race? http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/godmother.shtml |
| Good thing White Ninja ran into that turtle | Veluptuous curves / Whoa turtle! Stop. How did you get a butt like that?! / lunges. / [later] Oh baby. Nice butt. / Squeeze. / Release. Ni-ice! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/goodthing.shtml |
| White Ninja and the mystery gotch | Yuck, whose underpants are these? / I'm a forensic scientist, I'll find out who they belong to / The lab results are in, and I've come to a conclusion... / ... these aren't my underpants / I'd like to conduct a few more tests. / we're scientific http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/gotch.shtml |
| White Ninja graduates | Ha ha ha Your hat has a ponytail on it / EEK! A SPIDER! Kill it! Kill it! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/graduates.shtml |
| White Ninja is at his Grandma's house | Grandma come here! / come look what I did, quick! / see? I sliced this bun as if it were a loaf of bread. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/grandma.shtml |
| White Ninja has a grapefruit on his foot | You're stepping in a grapefruit / I did karate on it. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/grapefruit.shtml |
| White Ninja is a funny babysitter | [grape] / hot hot hot / who wants grapes? http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/grapes.shtml |
| White Ninja is a greek god | I am the mighty Zeus and I will strike you down with a bolt of lightening. / This guy is like a frigging pin cushion http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/greek.shtml |
| White Ninja and the grenade | Oh no! What are you doing? / I'm scratching a mosquito bite with this pinecone
/ But... / You see. I don't have any fingernails. I bite them. / Give me this, before you hurt yourself! / Pinecones aren't toys...
/ BAM!
/ AHHH! / IT DISAPPEARED! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/grenade.shtml |
| White Ninja buys groceries | Here you go, sweetheart. All the necessities. / Um... I just rang you through the till. / What!? you look the same / Freakin' women and their hormones. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/groceries.shtml |
| White Ninja and the gross little boy | I'm a little tea-pot / when I get all steamed up, here me shout...
/ you are so gross / TIP ME OVER AND POUR ME OUT!! / Jimmy...
/ yes. / ...arms length away! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/grossboy.shtml |
| White Ninja is a bad guesser | Guess how old I am! / umm, like... four hundred? / um, like... guess agaaain! / four hundred, right?!
/ ? / [stupid pills]
/ hmm, I suspected as much / I'M FOUR HUNDRED TOO! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/guesser.shtml |
| White Ninja is a guidance counselor | Guidance Counselor / Judging by these test scores, I'd say you're cut out for a career in horse whispering. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/guidance.shtml |
| White Ninja feels guilty | [save the pandas] White Ninja, check out my new shirt! Don't you feel guilty? / yes. / I had the oppurtunity to save one and I chose not to. / [years ago] Hey, White Ninja, we're going to go save Pandas, wanna come?
/ No thanks Peter. I'm pretty busy today / [later that day] / ... and I'll never... http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/guilty.shtml |
| White Ninja in: guns | la la la la / bang bang bang bang / bang bang bang bang bang bang http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/guns.shtml |
| White Ninja goes to the gym | Check out my six-pack / Feels like the freakin' Alps! / ... or the Rockies heh heh / Cuz they're hard like rocks, right? / Ah! My rockies!
/ [thud thud thud] / Ah! my wockies!
/ Boo hoo! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/gym.shtml |
| White Ninja needs a haircut | [shampoo] / Shampoo is food for my hair / gulp gulp gulp / LOOK AT MY PONYTAIL! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/haircut.shtml |
| White Ninja has a hairy face | I'm bored http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/hairy.shtml |
| White Ninja and the hairy palm | AAA! My hand is gushing hair! / well maybe if you wouldn't pick it so much... / No, I think I've got stigmata! / try blinking real fast. That makes it go away. / Not astigmatism. STIGMATA! I need to see a priest! / Yes, Priest? My friend need some glasses! Quick! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/hairypalm.shtml |
| Find 6 scary things in this picture | 1. Vampire is dressed in black / 2. earth is being invaded by moon-bats / 3. vampire's brain is in his hand and not in his head / 4. moon-bats are going to get the vampire / 5. sometimes vampires suck blood / 6. if you squint, the vampire looks like a ghost http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/halloween.shtml |
| White Ninja's hand is gone | Oh there you are. / sniff sniff / He wanted to be cremated you know / Now you broke his last dying wish
/ Shut up! Shut up or I'll cremate you! / No! I want to be donated to science. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/hand.shtml |
| White Ninja is happy | what's that falling from your armpits? / This, my friend, is happiness. / Look, Tim! I'm happy too. / Ouch! That one hurt. / Whoa! They're coming out faster! / I'm the happiest guy in the world! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/happy.shtml |
| White Ninja can't help | Sir I need your help! / Sorry, but I'm not very helpful / [Earlier] White Ninja can you hold this crystal vase for a sec?
/ No problem / spit / I said to just hold it!
/ "It"? / you want me to hold "it"? Ha! you perv. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/help.shtml |
| White Ninja's holds his breath | [pant pant] / 5 seconds, 7 seconds, 7 1/2 seconds, 8 seconds http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/holdsbreath.shtml |
| White Ninja is home | Daddy's home, boys!
/ DADDY / whap whap / ha ha ha ha ha ha http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/home.shtml |
| White Ninja draws horses better | White Ninja, I'm having a heck of a time drawing this horse! Can you give me some pointers? / I don't know. It looks pretty good to me. / Oh! I got it! Give me your pen! / That should do it! / "ROAR! Die other horses. This is an uzi" http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/horse.shtml |
| White Ninja buys a hot dog | That comes to $3.50 / um... there's not enough here / That's because most of it is invisible. It's all there, don't worry. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/hotdog.shtml |
| White Ninja makes hot dogs | Who wants hot dogs? / Me! I do! / Sorry, I made it for me. / Yum
/ splat / That was delicious. I think I'll have another. / Ok, I'm full. You can http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/hotdogs.shtml |
| White Ninja in: Hottie Alert | Hubba hubba! Hottie Alert!! / White Ninja, you know how to woo the ladies / Hey Dave, that girl likes me. / Go get her number for me, 'kay. / uh, white ninja, that's a manequin... again. / No... I already dated her when you weren't looking. She's real. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/hottie.shtml |
| White Ninja has a hundred dollars | a hundred dollars, eh? / Maybe I can interest you in some magic beans / I seem to remember having a bad experience with magical beans. / I'm on to you! You're into BLACK MAGIC! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/hundred.shtml |
| White Ninja is a hypnotist | ribbit / this stuff really works! / You will now behave like a helicopter. / That is bloody terrible. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/hypnotist.shtml |
| White Ninja needs ice cream | I need some ice creams! / My head is itchy / SMACK / My head is sore
/ My ICE CREAM http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/icecream.shtml |
| White Ninja goes ice fishing | (no dialogue) http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/icefishing.shtml |
| White Ninja is thoroughly impressed | How is this possibly?! / It takes a lot of practice. / wow / whoa whoa whoa / flap flap
/ whoa... WHOA! / flap flap flap
/ pretty freaky talent you got there, Steve. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/impressed.shtml |
| White Ninja and the serious incline | Hey Jim, did you see that incline?
/ An incline? No way! / It's seriously like this! / Careful, Jim. / You're not scared of a little diagonal, are you? / I guess I'm just not as sticky as you. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/incline.shtml |
| White Ninja is seriously injured | I don't even care. I barely used this hand anyways. / Except for scooping honey out of large brown pots. Sigh. / What the...? I knew it had a funny taste! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/injured.shtml |
| White Ninja says some interesting things | Hey, you know when you get so hungry that your friends and family start to look like a mouth-watering turkey or ham or whatever? / no. / Well, I'm sooo full from your delicious Christmas dinner, that the leftover turkey is starting to look like your mangled corpse, baby. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/interesting.shtml |
| White Ninja is interrupted by charity | I'm calling on behalf of the Norwegian wheelchair athletics association. How much would you like to donate? / BLOW! / fwshhhxxx! / Sir, that blowing noise sounds bad in my Norwegian ears! / Is it dinner time in Norway, too? / Why? Does it bother you to talk about cripples while you eat? http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/interrupted.shtml |
| White Ninja's invention | Hey, check out my new invention / That's just a spatula. Spatulas are invented already, by T.F. Jameson / What's this? Whose talkin' about me? / [late] Your friend is right. The "Gob sweeper" as you call it, has already been invented / No! I changed my mind! It's a comb for bald people! / See that!?... http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/invention.shtml |
| White Ninja is Italian | One-a delicious pizza, a-coming right up! / Mamma Mia, that's one agooda pizza! / uh.. thatsa one aspicy meatballa! / Stop talking like that White Ninja, you're embarassing yourself. / White Ninja? you told me your name was Luigi! / Fooled you! I'm really Chi-yuhneeese http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/italian.shtml |
| White Ninja is in jail | Man, my feet stink / Feel how hot my shoe is! / FEEL IT!
/ NO / GASP! MY SHOE! / HOT DOG! I can fit both my feet in one shoe! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/jail.shtml |
| White Ninja fixes Jeff | what's wrong, Jeff?
/ my neck is out / I can fix that for you. / [later] sorry. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/jeff.shtml |
| White Ninja spots something in Jill's teeth | You got something in your teeth there, Jill / How embarassing.
/ You're gross / Well you have a raisin stuck in your belly-button / What a lucky guy. A raisin! yum! / chew chew / Thanks Jill. Enjoy that crap in your teeth http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/jill.shtml |
| White Ninja gets a job | So Mr. Ninja, what do you think you can bring to our company? / I can read at a grade nine level and I have a valid driver's liscense / Your resume confuses me. Please explain. / It's pretty self-explanatory, don't you think? / No, you just drew a Christmas tree on your resume. / No! I wrote "resume"... http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/job.shtml |
| White Ninja and Mr. Johnson | Mr. Johnson, what's wrong? / I lost my car keys / Don't cry. I heard that tears give you zits.
/ sniff http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/johnson.shtml |
| White Ninja questions Kevin about his missing shirt | Awww, don't tease him
/ heh heh / Hi Kevin / Where's your shirt? http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/kevin.shtml |
| White Ninja gets kidnapped | [later] I give this cage a thumbs down. / nice mack. thumbs up! / Shut up! Shut up or I'll kill you. / I give your breath a thumbs down. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/kidnap.shtml |
| White Ninja teaches kindergarten | And this is how you make a "P" / snicker snicker / What's so funny?
/ ha ha ha ha / P-hee-hee-hee. Ha ha.. cuz it's like p-p-p-pee ha ha!
/ Pee. Good one. / If you guys think "P" is funny. You'll love this! / Get it? number two? Ha! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/kindergarten.shtml |
| White Ninja kind of reads something | HOW TO READ / Whatcha readin' there, pal? / I'm not sure? / Of course you don't know, it's way too advanced for you. / Try this one to start out with. / HOW TO IDENTIFY A BOOK http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/kindofreads.shtml |
| White Ninja gets a kiwi | what are these? / I'm a werewolf! / HOWL!!! / Can you catch mice? / [LATER] / Squeek Squeek! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/kiwi.shtml |
| White Ninja sits on Santa's lap | I'm next! / Ow! You have a bony bum! / Actually, they're Jengas. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/lap.shtml |
| White Ninja does laundry | sigh
/ chug chug chug / DING / [socks] / stretch stretch / what the... / I don't even look like a smurf http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/laundry.shtml |
| White Ninja and the bird that layed eggs | That hurt so bad. / it didn't feel too good to me either. / Hey, you know what feels really good? / silk. / Man, that stuff's soft. / But my new favorite feeling is raw eggs in my toes.
/ Doesn't feel good to me. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/layeggs.shtml |
| White Ninja tries to shoot lazers from his eyes | So anyways, I discovered I have x-ray vision today http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/lazers.shtml |
| Whtie Ninja gives a lecture | I don't get it. / That's because you have attention deficit disorder / No I don't / Look how pointy this stick is
/ but... / my muscles are getting bigger! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/lecture.shtml |
| White Ninja's daugher is left out | Daddy, do I get a Christmas present? / Sorry honey, but you're a Jehovah's witness. You don't celebrate Christmas / But why does Duncan get presents? / Duncan wasn't born a Jehovah's Witness like you. He was born French-Catholic. / I got you a present sis - JUST KIDDING! / Hi five! Next time in... http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/leftout.shtml |
| White Ninja ponders the meaning of life | you ever wondered what the meaning of life is? / I think the meaning of life is to own as many material possessions as you possibly can. / Does owning lots of stuff make you happy?
/ No / The meaning of life isn't about being happy, John, it's about owning lots of stuff - the accumulation of wealth. / ... http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/life.shtml |
| White Ninja and the guy with the lightbulb head | wow, your head is a light bulb! / I'll bet that has a lot of advantages, huh? / I can light up my hat. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/lightbulb.shtml |
| White Ninja and the lion | CAVEMAN!
/ kick / Now I will heal you with my powers / ooooooooh / Healed. / being a caveman is a very rewarding career.
/ dust dust http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/lion.shtml |
| White Ninja and a lobster | Hey lobster, I'm in your can! / snap snap! / No Lobster, No! / *poof* phew, it was all just a dream. / are you okay? I heard screams. / Stop it buddy! You're tickling me! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/lobster.shtml |
| White Ninja dislikes long hair | Eugene, you'd be a good lookin' kid if you cut your hair / But my long hair is the source of my mighty flute playing abilities... watch... / flute flute flute / fluuuuuuuute / I take is back, Eugene / I've never seen anything so attractive. sniff http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/longhair.shtml |
| White Ninja finds a lost boy | Heh heh, look at the those silly penguins son... / SON?! / weee! / There you are! Thank you for finding my son, sir / Please let go of my boy http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/lostboy.shtml |
| White Ninja in: mice like cheese | [smack smack] / Cheese brain thinks about cheese all the time / Oh no. Competition arrives.
/ [smack smack] / empty hole in head is also attracted to swiss cheese / A negotiation?
/ I get the cheese. You get the holes. / But White Ninja is distracted by an indentation that he mistakes for a real hole.
/ And... http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/lovecheese.shtml |
| White Ninja's string of luck | Lucky rabbit's foot. / Free sample mouthwash, sir?
/ It works! / I'm telling you Boris, this here's the real deal / Not only did I get mouthwast but I found a quarter, and I got a hot babe's phone number
/ Wow! Really? / Well, no, I didn't actually get her number, I just saw her... on a billboard.... http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/luck.shtml |
| White Ninja takes his lunch to school | Trade you lunches?
/ Kay / fillet mignon! yum! / a pumpkin?! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/lunch.shtml |
| White Ninja takes care of Lyle | w-w-where am I? w-w-who am I? / Your name is Lyle and I have brought you to my home. / what happened to my clothes. / I made us some cool hats with them http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/lyle.shtml |
| White Ninja knows magic | who is the greater magician, David Copperfield or David Blaine? / HOUDINI! Houdini is better than both of them mixed! / see of yourself! I captured his ghost in this glass j... / Gasp! He got out! Truly, he is the greatest escape artist ever!! / Okay, I got 'em! Take a look at this guys. / GASP!... http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/magic.shtml |
| White Ninja and the magic lamp | Hello
/ My tea pot is talking to me / hello?
/ hello Mr. Tea Pot / I'm not a tea pot, retard! I'm a genie in a lamp! / Let me out and I will grant you a wish.
/ Okay, I wish I had some tea / I wish you wouldn't be sarcastic
/ I wish you were a friggin tea pot! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/magiclamp.shtml |
| White Ninja hates magpies | shoo shoo! / Magpies can be such bullies. / White Ninja, what are you doing in that nest? / I'm protecting if from Magpies, obviousbly, jeez
/ oh, can I help? / you can help me by dying! / ... help me by dying! Ha! heh heh http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/magpies.shtml |
| White Ninja mails a letter | Hello, how may I help you?
/ Yes, hi, I need to mail this letter to the moon, please / I'll see what I can do. / Don't waste my time! / I guess I'll have to deliver it myself. / [to the moon!] / [jump] http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/mail.shtml |
| White Ninja longs to be married | When are you going to propose to me? / um... I'm kind of busy right now. / You're proposing to me? Of course, I won't marry you, you gross suffragette! / The man has to propose. / Like this, stupid. Marry me, John. I made you this ring with my own hands. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/married.shtml |
| White Ninja and the martian | I'm from Mars. Look at my funky halo / Welcome to earth. Look at my funky halo! / Dance Dance Dance / Whew! It's hot on earth.
/ I've noticed that too. / Come to Mars with me.
/ Okay / Whoa, hey! What are you doing? http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/martian.shtml |
| White Ninja and the mask | Check out my cool mask / You're scaring me Tyler. Please take it off. / I can't. I glued it on. / I don't know if we can be friends anymore.
/ .... but / what if I did this? / White Ninja? http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/mask.shtml |
| White Ninja is masked | Check out that mysterious man in the mask / Yes, ladies, I have many amazing super-powers / Such as the power to use my left hand with equal dexterity as my right. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/masked.shtml |
| White Ninja doesn't eat meat | No thanks, I don't eat meat anymore. My girlfriend says I can't / But Whide Nintha, ith's so gooood.
/ I don't care. / think of the health benefits. Not to mention the rights of meat. / Meat is one of God's living creatures. It should be treated with respect and dignity. / ... similar to the way your... http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/meat.shtml |
| White Ninja and the menace puppet | shut up! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/menace.shtml |
| White Ninja's midget girlfriend | White Ninja, is that your new girlfriend? She's really short / It's okay. She can jump really high. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/midget.shtml |
| White Ninja is under some mistletoe | somebody is bound to come and kiss me sooner or later / I'm so cute / [4 hours later]
/ Zzzz / Did you see that loser who fell asleep under the mistletoe last night? / I only kissed him because I felt sorry for him... http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/mistletoe.shtml |
| White Ninja's mitts | Jason, you're a terrific mitten / As for you, Jimmy, your abilities as a mitten are less than satisifactory / Maybe you should try going into boots or tutus or something http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/mitts.shtml |
| White Ninja whacks a mole | [no text] http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/mole.shtml |
| White Ninja's bag of money | I have twenty-one cents! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/money.shtml |
| White Ninja monitors a guy's health | you have an extra toe! / puke / let me see your hands / I don't have any! / I don't believe you http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/monitors.shtml |
| White Ninja and the monk | are monks allowed to eat candy? / hmm, I've never thought about it. / I know dogs aren't supposed to have candy. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/monk.shtml |
| White Ninja and the monkey that got away | Oh no! Help! Help! / Help! Help! / Ouch it hurts! / SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME! / "the monkey that got away" http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/monkey.shtml |
| White Ninja's monkey | [newspaper] / wow, can your monkey actually read?
/ No, he's just pretending / I can read!
/ No you can't. You just pretend because it makes you feel like people. / Well, you can't read either
/ Yes I can! My dad taught me! / See!
/ roll roll roll / You don't even know what reading is!
/ Shut up! I'm... http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/monkeynews.shtml |
| White Ninja and the two-headed monster | rar ar rar rar ar / Cool, where did you get those? / I found this guy working at the gas station. I remember is so clearly... / That'll be $7.98, seeya Phil!
/ Hahaha, did you see Full House last night?
/ FREAKS! / ... so I batted them on the heads and threw a chain around their evil necks! / Now... http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/monster.shtml |
| White Ninja waits for the bus | gulp gulp / I drink so much milk I'm like a cow / moo http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/moo.shtml |
| White Ninja gets mooned | moon moon / thunk
/ yelp! / Have fun sleeping on your side, pervert! / Hey, you told me you were Cupid! / Don't worry, nosy weirdo, I shot him a lover too. / Unfortunately she was one of those people that are always dying. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/mooned.shtml |
| White Ninja is a morning person | Wake up, man! It's almost noon! / AAA! Oh, I'm up! I'm up! / G-G-G- Ghost! / Ghosts?! Where?! Where?! / Th-th-there on the bed post! / Here, kill it!
/ no, you! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/morning.shtml |
| White Ninja and the big moth | Big moth / Ew, Nasty! / How do you like it?!
/ AAH! / [40 years later] ... and that's the exploded foot, right there / I keep it as a reminder of the lesson the White Ninja taught me. Grandma adds water to it so it doesn't get crusty. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/moth.shtml |
| White Ninja's mouse died | [mouse bones] / Psst! hey kid! I want to show you something / FACE WASH! / ouch! / Okay! now let's have a funeral! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/mousedied.shtml |
| White Ninja's moustache | [teenager moustache] / snifff snifff / smells like a mighty fine moustache http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/moustache.shtml |
| White Ninja makes muffins | Sophie, my love, would you like a muffin? / um, muffin? / I found them in a tree stump http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/muffins.shtml |
| White Ninja and the mummy | This mummy looks like a peanut / yes, it definately resembles a peanut / In fact, it looks positively delicious. / I'm gonna eat you / Holy crap! This mummy looks just like a cucumber http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/mummy.shtml |
| White Ninja and the munchkins | DING DONG the witch is dead!
/ which witch is which?
/ the wicked witch! / I'm not dead.
/ no... you're not / Ding Dong for that! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/munchkins.shtml |
| White Ninja in: munga munga | Munga munga / munga / My goodness! is that your son on a leash? / I have no son. / Hi Grandpa / Oh, that's right, I do have a son http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/munga.shtml |
| White Ninja goes to the museum | [dinosaur museum] / Do you guys sell chicken nuggets? / You're an idiot http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/museum.shtml |
| White Ninja and a naked boy | Put some clothes on, young man. / I can't, my muscles are too big / Well that is a good point, but I have a good point oo, and that is this: / some clothes are stretchy, and you should get some of those kind! / I'm allergic to everything but denim / I have a pair of jeans with an elastic waist
/ I'd... http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/naked.shtml |
| White Ninja doesn't like his name | Hi, White Ninja!
/ Don't call me that. I hate my name! / Call me Fight Ninja! Ya! / Hey, yah! Call me that too! / Ya! / More like NOT Fight NOT Ninja / or HOT Fight HOT Ninja! Right? right, fighty whitey? http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/name.shtml |
| White Ninja needs breakfast | Man-o-man, I'm hungry! / Whatever happened to that chicken that used to lay you eggs for breakfast every day? / I think its probably menopause
/ cluck cluck http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/needsbreakfast.shtml |
| White Ninja's new neighbor | Welcome to the neighborhood Mr. Ninja. I baked you a casserole. / How very sweet. / Now that we're neighbors, do you happen to have any numchucks I could borrow? / What?! What do you think I am? / This neighborhood blow! And you blow too! / Now, get your blowy casserole off my property. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/neighbor.shtml |
| White Ninja's new belt | [new belt] / scoot scoot / heellllooo? / hey white ninja! nice belt.
/ yes, nice belt! is it new? / Bah!
/ Nobody is noticing my new hat http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/newbelt.shtml |
| White Ninja's new jacket | [stylish jacket] / Do you like my new jacket? / Oh honey, it's gorgeous! ... hey, wait a second... / ...whose hair is this? / um... it's dental floss / man... I'm gross http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/newjacket.shtml |
| White Ninja's new job | I'm tired of being so awesome and kicking butt all day. I need a new job. Do you have any ideas? / How are your duplicating skills? / What do you mean? Like asexual reproduction? / Eww! Don't do it in front of me / rrrrrrr. / I'd say my skills are pretty good!
/ Duplicating isn't even a job http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/newjob.shtml |
| White Ninja's new look | saw saw / saw saw saw saw saw / I've got to find a mirror / Lookin' good! / Well if it isn't Small-mouth ninja... er... I mean, whoa! Lookin' good! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/newlook.shtml |
| White Ninja's new smell | sniff sniff / mmm, piny. / gnaw gnaw / Anyway, long story short, the beaver felt bad and crafted me this wooden leg / ... And now I'm a cyborg, but with half tree instead of Robot! / And that's better than being a regular person, because well... if you had sci-fi novels, you would know. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/newsmell.shtml |
| White Ninja at the North Pole | who are you? / I am the Ice Hermit! I am king of all you see! / You live here? You are so lucky! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/northpole.shtml |
| White Ninja's nose bleeds | Mom! My nose bled on my pillow! / Have you been picking your nose?
/ What? me? No! / I... uh... I was shot by a sniper! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/nose.shtml |
| White Ninja in: nose hair | earlier.... / Gordon, wanna sniff my smelly markers? http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/nosehair.shtml |
| White Ninja's leg is not broken | The x-ray shows that your leg is not broken... / But it does show that you have two knees in this leg! / will I ever be able to play hockey again? / Yes, but not very well. You will probably have to be the goalie. / That's not good enough, Doc! Hockey's my life! / Maybe you could try out that nintendo... http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/notbroken.shtml |
| Whtie Ninja and the Nun | Nun nun nun nun / nun nun nun nun / Wahhh / What!? I'm not doing anything! / You're bugging me! [nudge]
/ OW, MY ARM! / Just wait 'till my friend the Pope hears about this http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/nun.shtml |
| White Ninja's son seeks advice | Dad, I've got a crush on a girl at school. What should I do? / Have you tried pulling her hair? / No, dad!
/ Kicking her in the shins? / Mom, can I talk to you? / If you're really serious about her, you should pull on her hair. / I love you. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/offered.shtml |
| White Ninja has an office job | I'm getting a coffee. Do you want one? / Better make it two. I've got a lot of work to do. / You're taking advantage of my kind offer! / EN GARDE! / stab stab stab! / HOW MANY COFFEES NOW!? http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/office.shtml |
| White Ninja is on-line schooled | Yesss! I graduated from an internet college / Once I print this certificate I can get any job I want / My new career will be sea serpentry / ssss! / SHLOK! / No sea serpents will be safe now that I have an internet degree. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/onlineschool.shtml |
| The Origin of White Ninja | [ooze] / Morph! / Ya! / Hi Matthew / Matthew no more! I am White Ninja and you are my pickle sidekick http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/origin.shtml |
| White Ninja does a good deed | [hungry orphan] / poor little guy / ZAP! / [bread] / Giddyup horsy! / Nay nay! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/orphan.shtml |
| White Ninja's new ottoman | I LOVE this ottoman / So posturepedic... / This ottoman is 10 times better than you. / If you love it so much then why don't you marry it?! / Because I need both our salaries to afford this fantastic furniture. / Plus, that's illegal and gross. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/ottoman.shtml |
| White Ninja stays overnight | This is where you will sleep while you stary with us. / But it's just a box of cereal with a towel on it. / Can't I sleep in the bath tub? / No. What if my wife had to pee tonight? You sleep here. / flush / flush flush. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/overnight.shtml |
| White Ninja's armpit pants | look how high I pulled up my pants! / wow! that makes you look a lot taller / Ha ha! you look a lot shorter! / But seriously, if it's height you want, check out this little move / harumfff! / It's not a competition!
/ harumfff! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/pants.shtml |
| White Ninja gets a paper cut | Ouch! This paper cut hurts! / It doesn't hurt as much as childbirth! / You don't even have kids! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/paper.shtml |
| White Ninja and the paper towel | Wow. This paper towel is sure aborbent / Not to mention conveniently disposable. / Sorry reusable, liquid sopping, wooden block. I found a better way. / Many years ago: Drat! If only there were a better way. / lap lap lap http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/papertowel.shtml |
| White Ninja is parched | ohh I am so thirsty / here, have the rest of my root beer. / I don't like root beer. Go get me some apple juice. / Take it or leave it White Ninja. I don't like you that much. / Yes you do Curtis. We share a thermos at work. / You're been drinking out of my thermos? http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/parched.shtml |
| White Ninja's patches jacket | Hey, check out my new patches jacket / [earlier] You puffy jacket annoys me! / [and then...] so that's makes it puffy... puffs! / It sure absorbs a lot of blood / [back to present] Just joking! They're scabs! / Don't spear me! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/patches.shtml |
| White Ninja hurts a peacock | [peacock] / whack! / my beak! / I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else / eh ah ah mnm / I am so sorry http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/peacock.shtml |
| White Ninja is a peanut | When did this happen? / Yah, just like that! Wham! I'm a peanut.... right... I know, you called it. / No... I'm pretty sure you have to eat a million... yah, for me it was a million. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/peanut.shtml |
| White Ninja and the peed pants | did you pee in your pants, Julien?
/ noooo / I peed on them before I got dressed http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/peed.shtml |
| White Ninja is a pelican | smack smack / sigh / fly fly fly / Genie, I want to change my wish http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/pelican.shtml |
| White Ninja's pet hip | [tie tie tie] / ? / [funny kid] http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/pethip.shtml |
| White Ninja pet pet pets a kitty | pet pet pet / Gib me all yo monny! / ummm... / That moth stole all my money, get him! / son of a gun! / BAD KITTY! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/petpetpets.shtml |
| White Ninja discusses pets | Snakes make the best pets / better than mushroom people, even? / I would say so. When they die you can use them to tie stuff up. / Well, when mushroom people die you can pull of their dome tops. They make good frisbees. / I like frisbee.
/ Me too. / No! You're sick! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/pets.shtml |
| White Ninja goes to the pet store | Hello, I would like to purchase 101 dalmations please / I only have a hundred left. I'm sorry. I accidentally fell on a bunch of them. / But I can sell you this polka dot handkerchief / Hmm, I suppose this could work too. / I'm fashionable! Fur pants. Gotta have 'em. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/petstore.shtml |
| White Ninja's phone rings | ring ring ring / Nice rotary phone, grampa. / I bet you can't even call me with that thing. They're probably not compatable. / Hello Operator, can you please connect me to my grandson? Thanks. / (popular song ring-tone) / Is that what you kids listen to nowadays? Back in my day we listened to the... http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/phone.shtml |
| White ninja is a photographer | click / [later] That little punk! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/photographer.shtml |
| Whtie Ninja plays the piano | we would be honoured if you would play us a song / la la la la! / Hey, Peehano man. Look at me dance to your crazy song! / la la ...... la.... / Phew! Okay, now you dance to my crazy song! / Wham! wham! wham! eeeee! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/piano.shtml |
| White Ninja picks up a bunny | Sorry friend, but I'm not trusting my evolution to nature. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/pickupbunny.shtml |
| White Ninja smiles fake for pictures | C'mon, give me a real smile / Dish ish a real shmile. / I know how to get a smile out of you / FLASH! / FLASH! FLASH!
/ It's not working! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/pictures.shtml |
| White Ninja throws a pie | My baby! / Pies can't have babies. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/pie.shtml |
| White Ninja is jealous of his bird's new friend | [no text] http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/pig.shtml |
| White Ninja and the pile | help! Somebody let us out!
/ Help! / and how are we feeling today? / My goodness! You are experiencing serious muscle loss. / I didn't lose them. / hello?
/ help? / Why would you do that? http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/pile.shtml |
| White Ninja and the pilgrim | This is the new trend for fall / I am thankful for your fashion tip, friend. / I am thankful that this look is back. Let us harvest these brightly-colored fallen leaves. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/pilgrim.shtml |
| White Ninja's fluffy pillow | This is one fluffy pillow you got yourself here, White Ninja. / Yes, I know I filled it with my old dry skin flakes. / 'cept I didn't have enought to fill it, so I used some new flakes too. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/pillow.shtml |
| White Ninja in: pineapple farm | meanwhile in China / stupid fraggles http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/pineapple.shtml |
| Whtie Ninja in: where are my eyes? | PINECONE EYES / wait a second... http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/pinecone.shtml |
| White Ninja and the growling pirate | Arrr! / Arrr! / Arrrr
/ Arrr / Arrr
/ Arrr / Arrr
/ Arrr / Arrr
/ Arrr http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/pirate.shtml |
| White Ninja in: The Plan | It's all coming together perfectly! / I'll show them... / Go get them, my pet! / This is such a good idea http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/plan.shtml |
| White Ninja can't play ball | I can't go out with you guys. My mom is being a ree! / ? / ... tard?
/ ohhh http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/playball.shtml |
| White Ninja writes a poem | "roses are red, violets are blue" / "roses are red, violets are blue, I need groceries" / "to my darling Jennifer" / Hey loser. I wrote you a poem. / "roses are red. Violets are blue. You are a bread. I am love you."
/ this poem is crap. / you're fat. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/poem.shtml |
| White Ninja drinks poison | [poison] / gulp gulp gulp / This pirate juice is the ultimate refreshment http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/poison.shtml |
| White Ninja plays poker | It's your turn. / I'm all out of chips... and Rolexes. Can I see your $75 with an Ace of Spades and play with four cards? / An Ace of Spades is only worth $60. But whatever, I'm tired of playing with you. I call.
/ Ok, good. / Read 'em and weep. Sucker. / What's this?
/ Never seen a hand like that?
/ Is... http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/poker.shtml |
| White Ninja's pool | Stay out of my pool! / This pool is for rappers only! / Let's freestyle.
/ No. / Hey. You guys should freestyle a whi-ile. / No. I just feel like swimmin' http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/pool.shtml |
| White Ninja's poopy car | tweet crap crap / What's this!? / If I ever catch those freakin' albinos... http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/poopy.shtml |
| White Ninja breeds porcupines | National Geographic. I've bred a new species of porcupine. / Sweeeet. I'll send over a photographer. / I'm from National Geographic.
/ huh? / I'm here to see the porcupine.
/ Oh yah, I forgot about that. / Ya. umm it's in the kitchen. / That's just a cabbage with toothpicks in it.
/ It looked a lot... http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/porcupines.shtml |
| White Ninja talks to a potato | hello / White Ninja, potatoes can't talk. / do you think I'm stupid? http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/potato.shtml |
| White Ninja gets his son a practical gift | Son! Daddy has a present for you! / Yay! I love presents. / It's a suitcase! Time to move out, boy. / But I'm only five. / Not anymore. I got you a fake I.D. to help you get started. You are Harold Johnson, a 45-year-old plumber. / kay, bye! Love you! Get to work on that beard. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/practical.shtml |
| White Ninja the prankster | ha ha ha
/ what? / I nailed your shoes to the floor! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/prankster.shtml |
| White Ninja in: predicament | Hey, where do you think you're going? / you're not the boss of me / Well I am, so get back in there or else! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/predicament.shtml |
| White Basketball Ninja | Hey Mom! I'm pregnant / Ha ha ha ha http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/pregnant.shtml |
| White Ninja is a single father of a preteen girl | Honey, are you okay? You've been in there for hours. / I'm telling you, sis, it's times like this that I wish Shelly was still alive
/ Do you want me to try and talk to her? / Sometimes it takes a woman's touch -
/ Oh, here she comes. Gotta go Bev. I think I can handle this one. / Daddy, I think I... http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/preteen.shtml |
| White Ninja is a high school principal | As the new principal of this school, I've decided to change our school colors to my favorite colors... / ... Mirror and transparent. / [at the big game] GO TEAM! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/principal.shtml |
| White Ninja wakes up in prison | Yawn! / My rectum hurts. / Must have slept on it funny. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/prison.shtml |
| White Ninja's project | glue / glitter / elbow maccaroni / roll roll roll / How was your weekend? I went golfing.
/ That's dumb. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/project.shtml |
| White Ninja has a prosthetic foot | It's prosthetic! / No way. It looks too natural. / Can you kick a soccer ball really far now?
/ um... / Alright, pretend that balloon is a soccer ball. / Okay, got it. / Now pretend I kicked it really far.
/ SQUEEL! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/prosthetic.shtml |
| White Ninja and the chinese pug | [chinese pug] / snot! / you are so cute! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/pug.shtml |
| White Ninja gets punched in the face | PUNCH! / You just punched in my face / My brain! / MY BRAIN is coming our of my face! / YUCK! suck it back in. / snifff sniffff http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/punched.shtml |
| White Ninja and the darling puppy | OH! Look at that darling puppy / you are so precious / White Ninja! / White Ninja! kick me! Kick me White Ninja! / kick
/ OW! / What id you do that for? sniff
/ shut up baby http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/puppy.shtml |
| White Ninja gets stuck with a purse | Honey, will you hold my purse for a sec? / Hey nice purse. Did your boyfriend get it for you? *snicker* / No. My boyfriend only buys me name brand stuff. / And by boyfriend, I mean, friend that's a boy, of course. / I'm a purse-snatcher. If you wan, I could...
/ Sweet! Here! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/purse.shtml |
| White Ninja's quest | where are you going, White Ninja?
/ To find the meaning of life. / I got all the supplies I need in my trusty stick-bag. / raincoat, bugspray, meaning of Li- wow, here it is. I was more prepared than I thought. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/quest.shtml |
| White Ninja is asked a dumb question | Do I have marker on my face?
/ no / How about now!? / Ha ha ha ha http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/question.shtml |
| White Ninja and the rabbits | sniff sniff / I'm wearing cologne / ... in my eyes / [back at the laboratoy] Here kitty, you wear this lipstick. You'll look beautiful / FREAKOUT
/ But I'm a boy cat! / Dear Distributor, My lab results lead me to believe that your new line of lipsticks is not fit for people to wear in their eyes... http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/rabbits.shtml |
| White Ninja makes a racket | Shut up! You'll wake up my son! / He's my son too. He wants to hear me play. / Hey Jude, don't make it bad... / ... take a sad song, and make it better / see, he likes it http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/racket.shtml |
| White Ninja and the rainy day | [wet cat] / Man, you are a sweaty cat http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/rainyday.shtml |
| White Ninja's pig | I've raised this pig from a baby! / You're daddy's little organ donor, aren't you? Yes you are! / Why does your pig have an udder like a cow? / those are his nuts. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/raised.shtml |
| White Ninja and the tired rake | sigh. / Hey, Rake, is everything ok?
/ I quit. This is my two weeks notice. / You can't quit. Who else will pile up all these leaves? / How about the trident? / His points are too far apart. That's why God chose him to be the rake of the underworld. / So, should I, like, burn these when I finish,... http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/rake.shtml |
| Whtie Ninja and the rat | come again / you want a car for your birthday? / How about some bird seed instead? / BIRD SEED!? I'll show you bird seed! / a car it is / That's right. Who's you daddy? http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/rat.shtml |
| White Ninja reads too much into things | Everybody hates me. / I don't Remember, I just offered you a lick of my ice cream? / That's because it looks like a butt! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/readsinto.shtml |
| White Ninja follows a recipe | Darn! I don't have enough brown sugar! / Why don't you use dirt? Dirt kind of looks like brown sugar / SPLAT! / AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA / okay I decided that your idea actually ruled. please may I have some of your dirt? http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/recipe.shtml |
| White Ninja enjoys a record | He's still awake! Dad and I get a point / Next house / Yes! Not sleeping again. The men are catching up! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/record.shtml |
| White Ninja to the rescue | [bang! bang!] / help me! I'm stuck in the locker
/ [bang bang] / help me help me
/ [tug tug tug] / [BAM] / [CRUNCH] http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/rescue.shtml |
| White Ninja's new year's resolution | I HEREBY RESOLVE TO CARRY THIS FORK AROUND FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE! / [two weeks later]
/ Hey White Ninja. Where is you fork?
/ umm
/ HEY! / Are you the guy who sold my kid this lousy shoe horn? http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/resolution.shtml |
| White Ninja doesn't know the appropriate response | What's your favourite planet, White Ninja? / I dunno... they're all pretty good... Jupiter maybe... / I like Uranus / Ha! Just kidding. I like Planet Earth best. / Hey lighten up there, buddy http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/response.shtml |
| White Ninja and the ultimate revenge | There's a hair in my french fries. / it's a hard knoch life, Merl / I ordered fries... not hair! / Don't worry. You're not expected to eat it. / We'll get back at these jerks / eww! There's a hair in my tip. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/revenge.shtml |
| White Ninja and a rice | Bryce, can I...
/ - It's Bruce, White Ninja / Of course, Bruce, right. Sorry. / Don't worry about it. I understand. Bryce... Rice... It happens. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/rice.shtml |
| White Ninja rides a horse | Giddyup! / c'mon horse! go! / He won't go 'cuze you're not riding him right. / still nothing. Can we trade?
/ we can share / Giddyup! / Horses are freaky when they stand up. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/rides.shtml |
| White Ninja is righteous | Look Dad, I made a bird cage out of popsicle sticks in Sunday school / Cheater! some of those are tongue depressors! / I made this popsicle stick crucifix the honest way. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/righteous.shtml |
| White Ninja gets robbed | Give me all your money / NO WAY! Not even a hundred robbers could take my money / Give it to me or I'll cut you to ribbons / GIVE IT TO ME!
/ NO! IT'S TOO IMPORTANT http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/robber.shtml |
| White Ninja greets Mr. Robertson | Good morning Mr. Robertson / What are you so happy about, jerk-butt / Today is 2 for 1 day at the video store / I hate movies [POW] / If I had a movie here right now, I'd spit on it! / [back at the Robertson's house] My video! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/robertson.shtml |
| White Ninja rollerblades | Wanna go rollerblading after work? / On the handi-cap ramp? / 'K, we should set up a jump / Doorstops! / I'm gonna try it in my shoes first. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/rollerblades.shtml |
| White Ninja's inconsiderate roommate | That's my pot / you got some nerve, roommate gee whiz
/ My lunch / But you weren't using it / I was going to use it right now! / Raindrops keep falling on my head... http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/roommate.shtml |
| White Ninja runs for his life | woo woo woo woo woo http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/runs.shtml |
| White Ninja in: turtle sanctuary | chomp chomp grass / boot! / revenege against turtles is a dish best served kicked in the butt into outer-space! / Ah, Count Turtle-bad! Thought you could hide from my score settling here at the sanctuary, eh? http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/sanctuary.shtml |
| White Ninja and the no nonsense sandwich | Here is my sandwich. It's from the future. / I'm sorry, but my museum is only interested in really old things. / see this ancient crockery? it's really old. / [time portal]
/ PUSH! / [the future!!]
/ Nooo! I only like old things! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/sandwich.shtml |
| White Ninja's scabby arm | yuck / It reopens when you bend it. What a spot for a scab. / Whoa, I can make tiny scabs in the dirt! / Pull my scab-making lever. / sweet! / get in position. The enemy is advancing!
/ Scab army forward. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/scabby.shtml |
| White Ninja has a scar | where did this scar come from? / what are you doing in my house? / I'm your neighbor, Tom. I removed your kidney. / I just can't seem to get enough kidneys / I left you one in case... um... / Do you want that? Because I'll take it if you don't want it. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/scar.shtml |
| White Ninja drives his son to school | Here we are. Give daddy a hug. / C'mon dad, all the kids will make fun of me. / Fine! Jeez! / Ha ha!
/ Get a room! / That's for using all the hot water this morning! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/school.shtml |
| White Ninja gets a scratch | ow! Frick! / My knee cap! / arr rar arr / Gulp. / [a couple days later] eww! I stepped in... my knee crap! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/scratch.shtml |
| White Ninja the sculptor | Very nice. Do you work in stone, too? / I'll pay you 3 solid gold nuggets to sculpt a set of gargoyles for my mansion. / Make it 3 solid gold diamonds and you got yourself a deal. / shake. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/sculptor.shtml |
| White Ninja's search | [boop boop] / Hey White Ninja, what's with the Halloween costume? / Enough sarcasm Pierre. Serious. Or I won't share my truffles. / What's a truffle?
/ It's a delicious fungus, like, Athlete's Foot, but it's underground. / Sounds like a lot of work. I'll just stick to the regular fungi. / smack ... http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/search.shtml |
| White Ninja is sensitive | my girlfriend just broke up with me. / Are you hitting on me? / No, my heart just hurts
/ Well, you are a pretty homely lookin' kid / Maybe I can help you out with the women. What feaure is it of mine that you find so particularly attractive? / Dad, I'm not coming on to you. I just want you to comfort... http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/sensitive.shtml |
| White Ninja is sentimental | I picked you something today.
/ Ooo, what is it? / a booger! / uck! Why would you do that!?? / Because it belonged to your great-grandmother / But my great-grandmother is still alive... you didn't... you're sick! / It's still a sweet gesture! Do you know how much work it was to get this for you? http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/sentimental.shtml |
| White Ninja gets sucky service | Waiter, there's a raisin in my soup. / Zat's not a raisin! It's a finger! / Eet's just wrinkly like a raisin because it's been in the soup too long. / Did you just say there are beans in the soup too? / I just want plain soup with nothing in it! / ? http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/service.shtml |
| White Ninja finds a severed head | [severed head] / [poke] / [tug tug] / heh heh http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/severed.shtml |
| White Ninja is a shark hunter | Son, I want you to have this shark-tooth necklace I made / Yuck! These are toenail clippings! / It's still ferocious! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/shark.shtml |
| White Ninja goes shoe shopping | White Ninja, you need some shoes. / [shoe store] / Hey shoemaker, how much for this dirty old pair in the corner!? / Those are my boots. I wear them home after work. / Wow, you made these in China? / No, those were made in a shop by a sweaty kid. But I made these shoes... out of a pair of hockey... http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/shoes.shtml |
| White Ninja is a smart shopper | I got these pants at 75% off. / Mark, Mark, Mark. You only buy stuff on sale if you're a scrub. Are you a scrub? / nod nod / They were only on sale because nobody else wanted them / Honestly, those peants have probably been in the store for a hundred years. / Everybody and their cat has tried on... http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/shopper.shtml |
| White Ninja is Mr. Shorty-too-tall | Sorry, you must be this tall to ride the bumper cars / Sorry, to go in the ball bin you must be shorter than this / you must be between this height and this height to eat this piece of crap! / Yay, that's me. woo. / Just a piece? http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/shorty.shtml |
| White ninja and the shirtless man | Oh my God! There's something growing out of your back! / Oh no! Where?! Where?! I can't reach it!! / Don't worry! I'll get it / OWWW! / Thank you so much. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/shovel.shtml |
| White Ninja borrows a shower | Thanks for letting me use your shower, attractive neighbor / I used your soap-on-a-rope. / You mean, scented candle? / Why are you wearing my bath mat like that? / Only girls wear bath mats that way. / Cut me some slack. I'm new to this. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/shower.shtml |
| White Ninja shows off | Pfft! that's nothing. watch me. / anybody can suck on a wash cloth. Mine was way harder. / uh... White Ninja? / what are you doing?
/ TA DA! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/showsoff.shtml |
| White Ninja has six fingers | 1 2 3 4 5 6? / stop staring / [bush disguise] Go away! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/six.shtml |
| White Ninja's skunk costume | here comes the mayor / Hey, that's my skunk costume!
/ no it's not / well I want it. Give it to me.
/ you can't have it / sssss / yeah. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/skunk.shtml |
| White Ninja slays a dragon | STAB! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/slays.shtml |
| White Ninja sleeps | ZZZ / ZZZ
/ heh heh / Yawn / hah hah hah
/ hey man, you're really scary / hah hah hah http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/sleeps.shtml |
| White Ninja goes for a sleigh ride | How fast can this popsicle stand go? / This fast! / Hey, your puff came off! / STOP! / PUFFY! / So, what kind of gas mileage does this popsicle stand get? http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/sleigh.shtml |
| White Ninja is the man | weeee / this sucks. I have a date tonight. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/slides.shtml |
| White Ninja's slippers | Nice bunny slippers! where did you get them? / [earlier] / Gotcha! / I'll give you five bucks for those slippers. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/slippers.shtml |
| White Ninja smells something gross | Ugh! who fluffed? / fffft! snark / sick
/ heh heh / oh no! no you, stinky Stan. / I can't take you anywhere can I? http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/smellsgross.shtml |
| Whtie Ninja is so hungry | ooooh I'm so hungry. / hmmm... / would you please share your burger with me / mmmm / shop blowing into your end http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/sohungry.shtml |
| White Ninja is up to something | You look like you're up to something / I look like I'm up to making a fur coat. / [Kiwis] http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/something.shtml |
| White Ninja's son seeks advice | Dad, I've got a crush on a girl at school. What should I do? / Have you tried pulling her hair? / No, dad!
/ Kicking her in the shins? / Mom, can I talk to you? / If you're really serious about her, you should pull on her hair. / I love you. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/sonseeks.shtml |
| White Ninja is a powerful sorceror | O great Lord of the Eagles, I summon you from beyond the realm of Eternia to fly me to the moon. / Aw, man, I'm really tired today. / I have slain this wolf for you. Lap up it's blood and regain your strength. / Could I just have, like, a glass of water or something? / Here, drink this. It is dew... http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/sorceror.shtml |
| White Ninja is so, so sleepy | I'm tired but I'm not sleeping / Then why don't you come to bed, honey? / 'cuz I didn't wash up, and that's gross / Then wash up quickly and come to bed / I can't! I'm so sleepy that if I put my hands in the warm water, I'll pee my pants. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/sosleepy.shtml |
| White Ninja loses his soul | Teddy, can you help me find my soul? / Think. When was the last time you used it? / I took it off when I was mashing those bunnies to jelly. / Let's retrace your steps / I still can't remember!
/ I think we need more bunnies. / [hours and bunnies later] Do bunnies stain? http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/soul.shtml |
| White Ninja makes animal sounds | chicken noodle-doo! / That was a rooster! I'm good at roosters. / I think you mean cock-a-noodle doo http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/sounds.shtml |
| White Ninja thinks about soup | Cream of Chicken?!! / bok! bok! pakaw pakaw! / cool. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/soup.shtml |
| White Ninja is a space man | Ready for launch captain / 10... 9... 8... 7... / 6... 5... 4... 3.. 2...
/ 52... 17... 8... 11... 66... / Quit trying to mess me up, you hack. Just push the "go" button already / Don't get pushy with me. I'm mutinous! / Shut up, and take that dumb fish bowl off of your head
/ Never! I'm AQUAMAN! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/spaceman.shtml |
| White Ninja makes halloween special | Tell daddy what you want to be for Halloween this year
/ BATMAN! / Maybe next year. Daddy already got a deal on a sweet costume for you. / [false buttocks] http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/special.shtml |
| White Ninja gives a speech | barfing. balls and nuts! snot. / That was the worst speech ever! You didn't even mention any of the issues we discussed! / True. But wasn't it funny? / Balls and nuts? / s-s-s-snot! Balls and Ha Ha n-n-nuts! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/speech.shtml |
| White Ninja thinks he is spiderman | Spiderman! Spiderman! does whatever a spider can! / spiders! / this one might be a crab... maybe / I'm pretty sure they are spiders / or octopuses... http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/spiderman.shtml |
| White Ninja and the spiders that got him at last | (no dialogue) http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/spiders.shtml |
| White Ninja spoils his little girl | Daddy Daddy Daddy, can I get a sticker form the machine?! / Daddy's got a bunch of stickers at home, sweetie. / [masking tape] http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/spoils.shtml |
| White Ninja is a supreme sportsman | You're not going to catch any fish that way. / Here fishy fishy! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/sportsman.shtml |
| White Ninja spots a spider | eww! spider! / It's dead. / It hung itself http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/spots.shtml |
| White Ninja has some bug spray | Now bugs won't bite me / Ack! White Ninja! Give me your bug spray / OW! / My eyes! / Quick, scrape them on the concrete
/ it's not working! / Ok, pour this turpentine on them now and I'll get some matches! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/spray.shtml |
| White Ninja in: squirrel | Gotcha! / So you're the one who's been stealing all my nuts! / HEY! / Bad cat. Put the squirrel down. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/squirrel.shtml |
| White Ninja is nearly stabbed | Don't cut! I'm putting my head there! / Why would you do that? I could've cut out your eye?!
/ I would have closed it at the last second / Do you know how dangerous that was?
/ Pshh. I have the reflexes of a cat. / You might say that when they were handing out reflexes, they ran out and sent me to the... http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/stabbed.shtml |
| White Ninja and the talented star | Twinkle, twinkle, little star / How I wonder what you are / I can't believe we payed $15 for that.
/ That was just the opening act. / The Jewish star is what we came for.
/ Yash! A glezele yash! / Booo! You look like a two triangles / Actually, I'm a hexagon with spikes! So there! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/star.shtml |
| White Ninja stares at a light | [45 minutes later] / I've got bad news for you... / You've done irreversible damage to the black part of your eyes / I suspect you'll be completely blind in another week or two / ... or maybe even tomorrow http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/stares.shtml |
| White Ninja orders steak | Waitress, can you cut up my steak for me? / I feel really awkward about you asking me to do that and I'm not sure how to respond / Is this small enough?
/ yes / Normally, I'd use my katana blades, but they took them at the coat check
/ hmm http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/steak.shtml |
| White Ninja's cool idea | [snap] / tape / Tracy! Simon! Come look what daddy did! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/stickarms.shtml |
| White Ninja has stomach pain | The stomach pain is being caused by a tumor. / White Ninja, did you eat that tumor on your neck? / noooo. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/stomach.shtml |
| White Ninja likes strong tea | I'd offer you some tea too, but I'm all out.
/ Do you have anything else to drink? / Not unless you want to drink... um... lamp / Seriously, I'm really thirsty. / ...window? / ssip! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/strongtea.shtml |
| White Ninja and the new student | Class, we have a new student joining us today / I'm Philip! And this is my muscle. / I wanna fight you! / You're new!
/ my beans! / All the muscles in the world couldn't protect you today / I am Mortal Kombat! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/student.shtml |
| White Ninja is stuffed | I can't believe I ate the whole thing / Hey, what happened to my boots?! / Now let me think... I had them this morning and then I... http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/stuffed.shtml |
| White Ninja and the stump | 45... 46... 47... This tree was 48 years old. / Hey Beaver! Did you eat my twee?!
/ um... / t-r-e-e? tree? are you sure? Let's ask that guy. / Hey lumberjack! Would you say "you are my twee?" or "you ate my tree?" / Depends. Which is it?
/ urp! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/stump.shtml |
| White Ninja gets stung | Mom, I was stung by a bee... on my mouf / I fought it would taste wike honey / I told you they don't http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/stung.shtml |
| White Ninja's super gift | Thanks for the string, Barrett. It's awesome / Earlier: Mini Kite / Look what happens when I take it off! / That string can do anything
/ floss floss floss / Oh yah? Can it withstand sub-zero temperatures? / Later: Sure you can borrow it back... but it's pretty cold. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/supergift.shtml |
| White Ninja makes supper | Honey! I'm going to cook you supper tonight / Have you ever eaten one of these before? / I told you a hundred times, I'm never eating that thing!
/ But he looks so delicious / Yuck! That's it! Get out of my house!
/ Fine / Bye bye / um num num http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/supper.shtml |
| White Ninja's sweater | White Ninja, boatneck sweaters are for girls / But Frank wears them too / He has no choice. His head is huge! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/sweater.shtml |
| White Ninja is sweet | I bought you something today.
/ You're so sweet! / a thigh-master! / Here. It's for your fat thighs! / But don't eat it!!! It'll go straight to your thighs! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/sweet.shtml |
| White Ninja's swimming pool | Daddy it's hot out. We need a swimming pool / Do you think swimming pools grow on trees!? Go sit in the cooler / and try not to make my drinks warm! / I only have one umbrella to shade my cool drinks from the sun's harsh rays! / sssip http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/swimming.shtml |
| White Ninja enjoys a taco | [no text] http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/taco.shtml |
| White Ninja has a tail? | ? / Blood. Blood. Blood. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/tail.shtml |
| White Ninja knows how to tan | Ugh! I hate tan lines
/ so than naked. That's what I do. / I don't feel very comfortable going outside without my clothes / So stay inside. Open up a window, and lie naked in the beam of light that comes in. That's how cats do it. / [Later] Good-bye tan lines! / Whoa! What are you doing!
/ uh... I'm... http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/tan.shtml |
| White Ninja's tasty food | Yum, grapes and wheat / stay away from my lunch, Stan. / But we're partners.
/ ... at work. Not lunch! / where do you buy all these mouth-watering lunches?
/ squash / vending machine... in the lobby http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/tasty.shtml |
| White Ninja knows what a good tattoo looks like | White NInja, can you help me think of a cool tattoo? / You should get a pterydactyl, right here! / I was thinking more like a dolphin jumping over a basketball! / I can do it! Let me do it!
/ Ok. / So cool. / You just tattooed a muscley arm on top of my own arm!! Are you mental? http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/tattoo.shtml |
| White Ninja has tooth decay | OUCH! My tooth! / Now I only have four left / you guys won't fall out, will you? http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/teeth.shtml |
| Whtie Ninja licks a tennis ball | lick lick lick
/ [tennis ball] / Hey give me back my tennis ball you mangy dog! / I dare you... / GOT IT!
/ SNAP / [later] Yah, so I tried out that thing you said... / it wasn't as fun as you made it out to be, though
/ woof http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/tennis.shtml |
| White Ninja and the brain | Hey, I recognize you / How did you get out of my head?! / tsk tsk! did you foget that brains are the smartest things in the world? http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/thebrain.shtml |
| The Death of White Ninja | White Ninja's ashes / I still can't believe he's gone
/ I'm sorry gentlemen, but we need to go over his will / Eddie... It says here that you get all of the deceased's big game hunting gear and rings of power. / Karl... You also go to Eddie. / As for this ashes, um... White Ninja wants you, Karl,... http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/thedeath.shtml |
| White Ninja is the law | Alright, varmint. On the count of three... / one mississippi! two mississippi... / thu-ree.... mi... si... si... / pee! / yipee! White Ninja killed Dirty Daniel! / pee! pee! pee! pee! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/thelaw.shtml |
| Whtie Ninja's mysterious third eye! | Gasp! / Gross! you have 3 eyes! / Stay away from me, you creep! / I don't want to have anything to do with you! / sob
/ That pervert has 3 eyes! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/thirdeye.shtml |
| White Ninja receives a thoughtful gift | Christmas Eve:
/ What should be get White Ninja for Christmas? / Christmas morning:
/ [K-mart gift certificate] / Boxing Day:
/ [stirrup pants] http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/thoughtful.shtml |
| White Ninja meets the Tin Man | creak creak creak / Hi there / Are you a...
/ No, I am not a robot! I am the Tin Man / you-sound-rusty! would-you-like-some-oil? / I'm not a robot!.... and yes, I would like some oil / Thank you.
/ you-are-welcome http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/tinman.shtml |
| White Ninja is tired at dinner | waitress, I'm too tired to eat / watch this / jab / Z / Z
/ works everytime
/ CALL ME 555-7602 http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/tired.shtml |
| White Ninja and the toaster | pop / this crappy VCR ate my Titanic VHS http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/toaster.shtml |
| White Ninja is concerned about Tom's outfit | Why are you wearing a tank-top, Tom? / 'cause I'm Tank-Top-Tom. / ? http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/tom.shtml |
| White Ninja stands too close | why are you standing so close?
/ I don't have any social skills / lick / I had no idea wha is appwopwiate an' wha isn' http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/tooclose.shtml |
| White Ninja finds a tooth | [tooth] / crunch crunch / gulp! / He swallowed the tooth to catche the spider... He swallowed the spider to catch the fly... I don't know why I swallowed the fly... I GUESS I'LL DIE!! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/tooth.shtml |
| White Ninja's encounter with the tooth fairy | These teeth aren't ready to come out yet. / ... But I'll take them anyways! ha ha ha ha / Grrrr / Explode! / You know what the means don't you? You have to become the new tooth fairy / They're just baby teeth... http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/toothfairy.shtml |
| White Ninja training | (no dialogue) http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/training.shtml |
| White Ninja's trampoline | [bird flying] / [bird getting brains smashed out] http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/trampoline.shtml |
| White Ninja sets a trap | Go away! I'm trying to catch a bunny! / steady... http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/trap.shtml |
| White Ninja is a world traveller | I could use one of those for my office / White Ninja, where could I get a globe like this? / In Cognito http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/traveller.shtml |
| White Ninja has trendy son | Look at your jeans! You look like a hobo! / That's the style, Dad. Like you would know. / excuse me? Stealth is always in fashion! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/trendyson.shtml |
| White Ninja plays a trick | [PRANKS] / [fake vomit] / Hello there mister / BLAH / Oh, I'm sorry, I just barfed on your shoes! heh heh / BLAH heh heh
/ [fake dog poop] http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/trick.shtml |
| White Ninja loves baby turtles | [no text] http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/turtles.shtml |
| White Ninja's T.V. interview | So tell me Mr Ninja, what are your thoughts of El Nino?
/ Well, Pay, I... / ppppbbtt! / I told you we should have asked the guy in the sombrero!
/ ha ha ha ha ha http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/tvinterview.shtml |
| White Ninja and the twins | what should be do today, siamese brother? / let's make dance music!
/ yeah! / Boom boom boom / boom chicka chicka / wow! you guys are good / Did you know you have another one growing back here? http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/twins.shtml |
| Is White Ninja a unicorn? | You are not a real unicorn! / Neither are you / I am the only one! / I... / Hey, that's a fake horn! He's just a regular horse!
/ Get him! / Unicorn! Unicorn! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/unicorn.shtml |
| White Ninja gets up early | beep! beep! beep!
/ 6:00 / I love that sound! / mmm-mmm *smack smack* good morning mouth taste. / yawn
/ rub rub rub / eww! how did these get there! / boogers go in my nose http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/upearly.shtml |
| White Ninja has an upset stomach | gurgle / I don't feel so good... / I shouldn't have eaten all those raw eggs. / ... or washed them down with that glass of bleach and cheezies / Live and learn I guess / [later] Hey White Ninja, want to lick the bugs of this rusty old screen door?
/ sure! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/upset.shtml |
| White Ninja's utility belt | Hey Charlie, look what Batman gave me.
/ cool. / This is a stick up! / You wouldn't do that if you knew the contents of my belt / Ok, let's have a look! / let's see... I have some bat... mace, and a whistle. / TWEEEET! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/utility.shtml |
| White Ninja and the underperforming vacuum | Ah shucks! This vacuum isn't as powerful as the commercial promised. / Shame on you, Joe! Your excessive complaining about middle class novelties is sheer vanity. Be thankful, you are very lucky to have it. / There's a billion people in third world countries that would love to have a vacuum like that... http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/vacuum.shtml |
| White Ninja is romantic on Valentine's Day | Happy Valentine's Day, woman! / a monacle? / I love you. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/valentine.shtml |
| White Ninja employs the services of a vampire | [Bill Davenport Vampire for Hire] / clap clap http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/vampire.shtml |
| White Ninja makes a home video | Hey Billy, do something cute. / poke poke / BARF! / That was the sickest thing... not cute! / Who puked on my carpet!?
/ You didn't see it. You don't know how disgusting it was. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/video.shtml |
| White Ninja and the worst waiter of all time | Hey! I ordered curly fries! / Shut up! Eat what I gave you / Hey! / I'm going to get my manager! / Bla bla bla ma ma / You have to leave... NOW!
/ nyeeahhh http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/waiter.shtml |
| White Ninja walks a cat | Time to go for a walk / carry me http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/walk.shtml |
| White Ninja's sick friend | Blah / Are you okay Walt Disney? / My stomach hurts / ... and I lost my hat / That's okay. I'll buy you a new hat / ... and I have puke on my hands http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/walt.shtml |
| White Ninja warns a cat | Look, a dog! / You fell for it, Ha! There never was a dog! It was the ultimate prank! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/warns.shtml |
| White Ninja has warts | 'compound W' / Plan B! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/warts.shtml |
| White Ninja and his watermelon minions | [schlok!] http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/watermelon.shtml |
| White Ninja's wedding ring? | Is that a wedding ring? / This old thing? No, it's a Cheerio. / But it does keep the ladies from trying to tear my clothes off all of the time. / [earlier...] Hey there handsome / Look! Look! / Have you even washed your hands since breakfast? If you want to get babes like me, you'll have to up your... http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/wedding.shtml |
| White Ninja has a wedgie | White Ninja, pick your wedgie / tug tug / It's stuck! / Help me out, Todd, this is scary stuff! / You're a good friend, Todd / Psst! Todd. My fly is stuck. Help me out, buddy. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/wedgie.shtml |
| White Ninja needs to lose some weight | I gotta lost some weight / Look at these thighs... you could club a seal with them. / yah!.. er... ah... err.. / Yah, that would be sweeeet! / excuse me, hi. Me and my son were just noticing that your thighs rub together when you walk. / Clubbed! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/weight.shtml |
| White Ninja and the weirdest thing in the world | You know what the weirdest thing in the world is? / No, what? / Molecules are pretty weird, don't you think? / Not really. Not as weird as epidemics. / What are you guys talking about? / Molecules. They're so weird. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/weirdest.shtml |
| White Ninja has weird feet | hmm / bok bok bok / bok bok bok... oops! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/weirdfeet.shtml |
| White Ninja and the weird milk | Blech, this milk tastes weird.
/ *snicker* / It's cuz I extracted the fall - I skimmed it, if you will. / You're a real jerk, White Ninja! / Yum! No, Burt! / *cough* Well, if skimmed milk tastes bad, and fat tastes bad, what makes regular milk so tasty? *cough* / regular milk doesn't come from a... http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/weirdmilk.shtml |
| White Ninja and the wishing well | I wish I had a bat / cool / Dude, you wished for a bat too?
/ of course / My bat can whistle!
/ whistle whistle / whistle whistle whistle / I should have wished for a whistling bat! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/well.shtml |
| White Ninja finds it difficult to be a werewolf | oh geez / I don't like being a werewolf, Howly. / Cuz I really love silver. It's a huge dilemma. / Normally I'd be happy to be shot with a silver bullet / I don't like devouring my loved ones (sob).
/ or wearing gloves to handle silver (sob) http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/werewolf.shtml |
| White Ninja and the boy with wet feet | why are your feet wet? / because I got water on them / But there's no water for miles around / Admit it! You've been spitting on your feet! / I haven't, I swear!
/ well, somebody has! / Perhaps it was some aliens from outer space! Did they come and spit on your feet!? http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/wetfeet.shtml |
| White Ninja in: wet willy | Jerk! / suck suck suck / suck suck suck suck suck http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/wetwilly.shtml |
| White Ninja shows off his wheels | I designed this car while I was on drugs / Yeah, well, I designed this while I was on Fisherman's Friend / That's just a pussy red wagon / my car has a massive exhaust pipe, see? / It's the circumference of a CFL football. / White Ninja orders a part to compete with the guy who points at things... http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/wheels.shtml |
| Whtie Ninja gets whipped into shape | You need to go a diet, White Ninja / Hey, it's not my fault I'm fat. I'm still fed through an umbilical cord / It's my fat mom's fault / No matter! I'll get you in shap / flex flex flex / Quickly! before it crusts and falls off! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/whipped.shtml |
| White Ninja's sympathy for a widow | I'm sorry for your loss, Mrs. Jacobson. / They say that cremation is a peaceful way to die. / 20 minutes later:
/ Oh, I see. Not the cause of death. / All the same, it wouldn't be my choice. / When I die, stick me in a rocking chair up on that hill http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/widow.shtml |
| White Ninja puts a wiffle ball on a pylon | I love you / Not now, Ryan. I'm busy / Not that I don't believe you, it's just that... well... / ... you're a heart. You have to love everybody. / plus, like a hundred other people already told me that today because I'm a hottie / If you can't return my love, maybe you should take your hand off... http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/wiffle.shtml |
| White Ninja's wig | A wig! / No, White Ninja! It could be a bomb disguised as a trendy wig! / The enemy is cunning... / Somebody is trying to blow my brains out! / Here, wear this brain-protector. / Don't worry. I'll radio for a couple of real wigs. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/wig.shtml |
| White Ninja hosts a wild party | Here's an invitation to my party this weekend, Gene.
/ Cool thanks. / YOU ARE INVITED TO A MASS SUICIDE POTLUCK
/ Sun. July 22
/ 8:00pm
/ (remember to wear white) / If your last name starts with A-J, you have to bring salad. K-Z brings desert. / I'll take care of the main course. / 8:37pm
/ Sorry Paul.... http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/wildparty.shtml |
| White Ninja makes wine | stomp stomp stomp / stompin' some grapes, white ninja? / Nope! I'm stompin' nails! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/wine.shtml |
| White Ninja's Christmas wish list | White Ninja's Wish List:
/ 1. smelly soaps 2. bath beads 3. mixed nuts 4. nativity set 5. peace on Earth / Oh yah, this is going to be the best Christmas ever / sugar plums / Chistmas morning
/ gasp! / how did you know, mom? It wasn't even on my list. / Three French hens!
/ Bonjour!
/ une gomme! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/wishlist.shtml |
| White Ninja enrolls in witch school | welcome to witch school / Do you know how to use your wand properly yet? / yabba dabba doo! / gasp! what happened to my sweater vest!?! / I stuffed it in your pants, like a tail / A truly amazing bit of wizardry! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/witch.shtml |
| White Ninja and the wizard | I know kung-fu! / So? I'm a ninja / Really? we should join forces.
/ hmmm / you mean, like a crime-fighting duo?
/ YES EXACTLY! like the Hardy Boys. / I dunno...
/ Just a second... / My beard was getting cold. http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/wizard.shtml |
| White Ninja is a wrinky beast | Ugh, look at these wrinkles! / You are suffering from severe middle-age. Might I prescribe bi-monthly botox injections / All 6 injections later / pop / poop http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/wrinkly.shtml |
| White Ninja Christmas | Sword fight! / I cut off your leg! / I cut off your other leg! / I win! http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/xmas.shtml |
| White Ninja makes a zillion dollars | I'll give you a zillion dollars to play with my ugly son / ugh / I'm a bad person
/ play play play http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/zillion.shtml |
| White Ninja: 2026 A.D. | Our mission, crew, is to travel back in time to see what we looked like as babies. / Mission Accomplished
/ I came from an egg? Anybody else come from an egg? http://whiteninjacomics.com/comics/2026.shtml |
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