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| A Softer World: 662 | What walks on four legs
/ in the morning, / two legs in the afternoon,
/ three legs in the evening, / then becomes a burden and
/ gets put in a home? / [I can't remember.] http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=662 |
| A Softer World: 663 | It turns out I don't
/ really want to have sex. / I guess I just
/ get confused
/ because you're so great! / [High... high fives?] http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=663 |
| A Softer World: 664 | It's not the destination
/ that's important, / it's the Journey song / that plays over
/ your travel montage. / [and the destination is just work, every day.] http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=664 |
| A Softer World: 665 | Childhood is the best
/ part of life. / So don't worry, kids.
/ You won't be missing much. / [I honestly thought the iceberg would chicken out first.] http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=665 |
| A Softer World: 666 | If you died,
/ I would go through hell
/ to bring you back. / That would be easy. / I'm not sure how to deal
/ with us just
/ drifting apart. / [yhtapa drol krad ruo] http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=666 |
| A Softer World: 667 | Yes I believe in love,
/ Yes I'm a dreamer. / That's how I got here. / Excuse me, it's time
/ for my meds. / [Did I fall asleep?] http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=667 |
| A Softer World: 668 | When you died, I buried you
/ in that creepy
/ ancient cemetery. / And you came back
/ different. / Which is good, because you
/ were kind of a dick,
/ originally. / [reverse horror movies!] http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=668 |
| A Softer World: 669 | if you don't vote
/ you don't get
/ to complain / ha ha ha sorry
/ I meant to keep
/ a straight face there / ha ha ha ha ha / [vote for me or i'll kill you] http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=669 |
| A Softer World: 670 | It turns out
/ that sometimes / the future actually / belongs
/ to someone else. / [It's mathematics] http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=670 |
| A Softer World: 671 | Good morning.
/ Radiation levels today
/ are unchanged. / Please stay inside. / And be kind to
/ the people you
/ care about. / [oh, and gravity might go offline later today. stay tuned.] http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=671 |
| A Softer World: 672 | I devoted my life
/ to finding revenge, / and then, the day after
/ I finally got it? / I saw it for
/ way cheaper online. / [and I could have gotten free shipping] http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=672 |
| A Softer World: 673 | When I first wake up / I sometimes forget
/ who I am / is why I'm wearing
/ your things. / [and talking in this funny voice?] http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=673 |
| A Softer World: 674 | Okay, now imagine
/ I am falling in love
/ with you. / Can you picture it? / Now picture that
/ backwards. / [Now picture leaving my house. Thanks.] http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=674 |
| A Softer World: 675 | This is how breakups work. / I will give you
/ back your movies / when you give me
/ back my twenties. / [I didn't mean money, but okay?] http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=675 |
| A Softer World: 676 | Don't think of it
/ as us breaking up. / think of it as / me being happy again. / [now get out of the bushes before I call the cops.] http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=676 |
| A Softer World: 677 | I wish Ayn Rand had
/ written a sequel / to the Fountainhead / called The Fountainhead 2:
/ Just Kidding. / [fh2: this time with feelings] http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=677 |
| A Softer World: 678 | Having a gay friend
/ doesn't prove / you aren't a bigot. / It just proves
/ that your friends
/ aren't paying enough attention. / [I'm going to need to see some black friends, too.] http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=678 |
| A Softer World: 679 | It doesn't matter
/ if the glass is half full
/ or half empty. / I am gonna drink it
/ through this crazy straw! / [I brought it from home.] http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=679 |
| A Softer World: 680 | Nobody dies
/ before their time. / That's what "their time" means. / [some people aren't books, they're poems.] http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=680 |
| A Softer World: 681 | Think of life as a bowl
/ of ice cream.
/ No, wait. / Just think about
/ a bowl of ice cream. / Better? / [or imagine Ryan North's smile.] http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=681 |
| A Softer World: 682 | Life is never so bleak / that you can't turn
/ things around / with a crime spree. / [There is always hope! Everybody on the floor!] http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=682 |
| A Softer World: 683 | The trick to getting
/ hot bitches to put out / is to first find the ones
/ you think are the hottest / and then get to know them. / [Sup bitches! What are your hopes and dreams?] http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=683 |
| A Softer World: 684 | I hate insects. / Always laying eggs
/ in my head. / Never calling me back. / [Telling people that I'm clingy.] http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=684 |
| A Softer World: 685 | People who think they are
/ god's gift to women / are usually joke gifts. / [like a chocolate dildo] http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=685 |
| A Softer World: 686 | I sold my soul
/ to the devil / but didn't get paid
/ or anything, / He said it'd be good
/ experience. / [for my portfolio?] http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=686 |
| A Softer World: 687 | Helicopters are great
/ but so expensive! / So here's a trick I use. / Just go out to the woods
/ and hurt yourself. / [How I got my limp.] http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=687 |
| A Softer World: 688 | Astronauts risk their lives
/ for science. / I'll never be smart
/ enough for that, / But I can kiss you
/ for science. / [Help me take my shirt off for science.] http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=688 |
| A Softer World: 689 | Real political change
/ is not achieved with slogans. / You have to get
/ the actual decision makers
/ together in a room / and then drop on them
/ from above,
/ naked and screaming. / [let's make some sausage] http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=689 |
| A Softer World: 690 | A good family neighbourhood
/ is just another euphemism for / the night streets outside
/ my bedroom window / being filled with demented
/ hollering pill tweens. / [tweens tweens everywhere!] http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=690 |
| A Softer World: 691 | A woman's love
/ is like a big spider. / Super gross. / [maybe I am doing it wrong?] http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=691 |
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