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| A Softer World: 362 | our kitty brought home
/ a human finger / so I flushed it. / what a hassle that
/ would have been. / [go play in someone else's garden, kitty] http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=362 |
| A Softer World: 363 | I organized a national
/ witch convention / and advertised in
/ church newsletters
/ everywhere. / Now who has the
/ evil eye, lady? / [i can tell that we are gonna be friends] http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=363 |
| A Softer World: 364 | Life is essentially
/ a chess game. / You have to plan
/ and calculate and / I am so lonely. / [if you play the opening wrong, the game is already lost.] http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=364 |
| A Softer World: 365 | If I were famous
/ I would totally sleep
/ with my fans. / It's okay, though. / I enjoy sleeping with
/ other people's fans, too. / [Seriously. Write me.] http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=365 |
| A Softer World: 366 | I was sure the apocalypse
/ would be awesome. / But babies the size
/ of cities? / That is
/ unsettling. / [how do we blame THIS on SUVS?] http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=366 |
| A Softer World: 367 | Jesus, look at her.
/ I'm glad she can't
/ tell what I'm thinking / or insert thoughts into
/ my head. I'm such an ass.
/ Yummy dolphin nuptials! / Wait. What? / [if i think her thoughts that is a bit like sex.] http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=367 |
| A Softer World: 368 | an eye for an eye
/ makes the whole
/ world blind. / unless I use his
/ eye to replace
/ my own. / [I guess you can still see with only one eye anyway?] http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=368 |
| A Softer World: 369 | I found a spell
/ to make you
/ love me / in my mom's room. / Now I don't know
/ what to believe. / [That's it. I'm moving out.] http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=369 |
| A Softer World: 370 | [fuck yes.] http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=370 |
| A Softer World: 371 | I fear I may die
/ writing this book. / I should have lived
/ amongst the squirrels / instead of inviting
/ them to live here. / [The Horrible Intelligence of Tree Rats was his unfinished masterpiece] http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=371 |
| A Softer World: 372 | I didn't intentionally
/ create those creatures
/ to destroy our way of life. / Obviously. / [Oh please. Like you've never goofed up.] http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=372 |
| A Softer World: 373 | when you are
/ feeling low / I will be there
/ to feel you up. http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=373 |
| A Softer World: 374 | They took me
/ from my home.
/ Tied me up.
/ Beat me. / It was awesome. / I can give you
/ their card
/ if you want. / [WHO ARE YOU WORKING FOR?] http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=374 |
| A Softer World: 375 | I don't get why a doctor
/ can't ask out his patients. / I've seen inside you already. / So it's not like
/ it's awkward. / [Between you and me, that license is forged anyway.] http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=375 |
| A Softer World: 376 | You are beautiful, sir.
/ But I hope you're
/ interesting, too. / Do you read?
/ Do you think about
/ what you read? / I specifically
/ told the agency
/ I wanted someone
/ who thinks about
/ what he reads. / [he whom the prophet spoke of long ago has come.] http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=376 |
| A Softer World: 377 | Now, you make sure he knows
/ that your curfew is eleven.
/ And honey? / I know the sort of things
/ that happen on prom night.
/ Just try to remember / we all die alone. / [So don't waste time.] http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=377 |
| A Softer World: 378 | Of course the divorce
/ wasn't your fault, son. / If anything,
/ it was my fault / for buying expired condoms. / [The apple of our three eyes - Martha being a cyclops.] http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=378 |
| A Softer World: 379 | I can be
/ happy alone,
/ sure. / I can be happy
/ without ice cream, too. / If we're being hypothetical. / [Anyway, I'm off to the gym.] http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=379 |
| A Softer World: 380 | The architect?
/ The loving father?
/ No, of course not. / It doesn't matter what
/ I do with my life.
/ I will always be / the man with
/ a boob for a dick. / [If you need any help with the condom, call me.] http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=380 |
| A Softer World: 381 | Yes I know that's our
/ rainy day money. / Rain makes me crazy. / Please just come
/ bail me out. / [Also, I told them my name was Norma Desmond.] http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=381 |
| A Softer World: 382 | Man if I had a nickel
/ for every time someone
/ ran over your cat / and was unsure how
/ to tell you but
/ was really sorry / I'd have ten cents. / [Oops!...I did it again] http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=382 |
| A Softer World: 383 | if you love
/ something
/ set it free / if it doesn't
/ come back to you / he probably
/ told the cops. / [Love is stronger than justice.] http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=383 |
| A Softer World: 384 | the city sometimes feels
/ like a movie set. / maybe this is the big scene / maybe I can
/ be an extra
/ at least. / [or maybe I could grab that cop's gun!] http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=384 |
| A Softer World: 385 | I know you think
/ a fluffy pet could never
/ replace your father. / But you also thought
/ Santa was real. / [Anyway, get dressed. The funeral's in an hour.] http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=385 |
| A Softer World: 386 | Yes. Yes I am
/ the fluffiest kitty
/ oh my gosh ever. / And every day I learn
/ how to make myself
/ smarter and fluffier. / I am the fluffy
/ singularity. / [Oh listen honey! She's purring again!] http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=386 |
| A Softer World: 387 | For Christmas this year
/ I got the girl of my dreams, / and my friends got arrested
/ on kidnapping charges. / No, wait. / Maybe I should tell
/ those stories separately. / [Oh and I got LA Story on DVD! Oh man!] http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=387 |
| A Softer World: 388 | All my dreams came true. / I just didn't
/ think them through. / [I was happier, dreaming.] http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=388 |
| A Softer World: 389 | No, I don't want
/ to be a woman. / What a stupid, misguided
/ idea of homosexuality! / I want you to
/ be the woman. / [I'll be the headmaster.] http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=389 |
| A Softer World: 390 | For my birthday I bought
/ myself a plane ticket to
/ a whole new life. / While someone else's friends
/ crowded in the dark / waiting for the surprise. / [NEW GAME. NEW GAME. NEW GAME.] http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=390 |
| A Softer World: 391 | What can you do with
/ a drunken sailor?
/ What can you do with
/ a drunken sailor? / Man, what can't you do
/ with a drunken sailor? / [You can't in good conscience leave them with Ryan North.] http://asofterworld.com/index.php?id=391 |
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