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A Softer World: 602 Just once, after sex, / I wish someone would / hold me close and whisper, / "Now my eggs are inside you." / [I KNEW IT!]
A Softer World: 603 I know that I don't / deserve you, / but that's okay. / Life's not fair. / [but do I love you. do you want me to loosen the cuffs?]
A Softer World: 604 I'll show you mine / if you show me yours / is not a valid defense. / Didn't the stat assign you / representation? / [are you eating pizza in here?]
A Softer World: 605 I got hit by a car / on my way home / but I'm okay! / I have a new lease on life. / And I guess what / I'm saying is / I'd like to buy a drink for / BOTH of you. / [Then: Sexy times!]
A Softer World: 606 The word is parts. / "Lady parts." / When you say / you want to touch / my "lady pieces" / I feel weird about that. / [Lady parts are for kissing. Lady pieces go in the fridge.]
 
A Softer World: 607 Put your money / where your mouth is. / No wait, put your mouth / where my money is? / In my pants please! / [My charming awkwardness gets me so much play.]
A Softer World: 608 When you were born / they broke the mould. / They must have hoped / you were still in it. / [HAPPY DAD JOKE DAY!]
A Softer World: 609 You are the love of my / life so far. / [Tomorrow's just a day away.]
A Softer World: 610 Feminist is a great word. / When you say it and / someone rolls his eyes, / you can pretty much / murder him to death with / a clear conscience. / [anyway quit complaining. YOUR kids voted for me]
A Softer World: 611 I might be drunk / but you're ugly / and in the morning / I'll be sober / and sorry I said this. / [So, thanks for taking the time to interview me.]
 
A Softer World: 612 If you ever want to see / your son again / then put the money / in the collection plate / [Do not try to contact the police.]
A Softer World: 613 I'm not racist! / My best friend is black. / SHE'S the racist one. / [Oh okay, we're both racist. It's why we're friends!]
A Softer World: 614 You make me want / to pretend / to be a better man. / [I promise, I'm going to seem to do right by you.]
A Softer World: 615 Good decisions are just / bad decisions / you didn't get to make. / [and I refuse to let that happen.]
A Softer World: 616 I figured out / how to be happy / but I can't tell you. / You not knowing / is a big part of it. / [I'll give you a hint. Close your eyes...]
 
A Softer World: 617 Those who can, do. / Those who can't / apparently run this / fucking place. / [the best revenge is bitter sarcasm and unhappiness]
A Softer World: 618 Boys and girls can't / really be "just friends." / It's a fact of nature. / Pass it on. / [We're just born this way! My mom told me.]
A Softer World: 619 I think sex is fun / and that you don't / have to be in love / to enjoy it. / If that makes me / a terrorist, FINE. / [I'll probably be first against the wall. But we can take turns.]
A Softer World: 620 Here is my license and / registration and a riddle! / "I have a badge and a gun / and nobody likes me, / who am I?" / [I'm a police cat! meow]
A Softer World: 621 I love the way / your face lights up / when someone says, / "It might be dangerous." / [I am glad we are friends.]
 
A Softer World: 622 Basically any pill / will make me happy / if I take it with my cat. / [except amphetamines. jesus, that was a nightmare.]
A Softer World: 623 I'm glad that / you're doing well / these days. / I'm doing well too. / Probably even better / than you are. / [Anyway, I have TWO new boyfriends. So.]
A Softer World: 624 this year, instead / of trying to change / maybe i'll try / to understand why / i think it's so funny / to bite squirrels. / [what interests us most is finding out what we are like.]
A Softer World: 625 Live and learn / or die and teach / by example. / [that is too many words to tattoo on your penis]
A Softer World: 626 There should be a word / for the things we do / not because we want to / but because we want / to be the kind of person / who wants to. / [In bed.]
 
A Softer World: 627 If I lose touch / with reality, / I hope I go all conspiracy / theory tinfoil hat / delusional. / Not "she can change" / delusional. / [Even Bobby Fischer crazy would be better.]
A Softer World: 628 if you were killed / and replaced with / a pod person / i would be sad, but / i would try to make / the best of it. / [are pod people more flexible, you think?]
A Softer World: 629 I want people to know / that I'm a nerd, but / it feels weird to have / to announce it. / So, could you tell people? / [but don't hit me in the face. It's picture day.]
A Softer World: 630 Even if I don't win, / it's an honour just to / get to talk about / being nominated. / [have you not seen my twitter?]
A Softer World: 631 Violence is never / the answer. / It doesn't matter / how clearly you / show your work. / [shape the future, they said. teach mathematics, they said.]
 

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