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A Softer World: 722 Everyone says you / bring out the worst in me / like that's a bad thing. / [I'm tired of being my best.]
A Softer World: 723 Being stuck / in the 'friend zone' / is actually really nice. / Who couldn't / use more friends? / [the friend zone is right here, baby. *gestures at crotch*]
A Softer World: 724 I brought / some marshmallows. / Let's burn this world down. / [If you're not part of the solution, you probably think I'm nuts]
A Softer World: 725 You are very beautiful. / But conversation / is my weakness. / Now move along, / you're making me look / unavailable. / [I'm just looking for one divine hammer.]
A Softer World: 726 Oh please don't / leave me, Sugar Vag. / I can think of better / pet names, / if that's the problem. / [I am going to die alone, aren't I, yeasty teats?]
 
A Softer World: 727 I'm tired / of being a dinosaur. / Let's be meteors. / [Let's be the quiet realization that our time has passed.]
A Softer World: 728 Citizens should not / fear their government. / This will be enforced. / [I only got one law. A kid who tells on another kid is a dead kid.]
A Softer World: 729 Every day the world / descends further into chaos / and it's only going / to get harder / to find a good spot / to watch from. / [It's going to be a hell of a show!]
A Softer World: 730 I understand / how riots start. / I just don't understand / why they ever stop. / [Do they get sleepy?]
A Softer World: 731 I never meant to hurt you. / You have to believe me. / I wasn't thinking / about you all. / [I don't see how my excuse can be your problem.]
 
A Softer World: 732 Knock knock! / Who's there? / It's the police, sir. / Open the door. / There's been an accident. / [There...there's been an accident who?]
A Softer World: 733 I believe most people / are inherently good. / But overcoming our nature / is what separates us / from animals. / [evil has its pleasures too.]
A Softer World: 734 I'm going to dress up / like a sexy orphan / for halloween! / I have the outfit, / now I just need to / kill my parents. / [I hope they don't read my blog.]
A Softer World: 735 I usually sleep in, / but not today. / Today I wake / like the Kraken! / Weird and damp. / [surrounded by terrified fishermen]
A Softer World: 736 We became so close / over the years / that eventually we were / finishing each other's / romantic affairs. / [Sometimes mid-coitus!]
 
A Softer World: 737 Feelings are / the real kissing disease. / [heartbreak is the real chlamydia.]
A Softer World: 738 Civilization is the ability / to distinguish / what you like / from what you like / to watch pornography of. / [And anyway why were you going through my computer?]
A Softer World: 739 The next time / you get mugged, / try to enjoy it! / At least you aren't just / sitting at home again. / [I guess you could watch the episode where they get mugged.]
A Softer World: 740 It's a fast paced, / complicated world, baby. / Understand something / or have an opinion on it. / There's no time for both. / [Understanding is for terrorists.]
A Softer World: 741 Freedom of expression / is great! / And what can they do? / Come into my cell / and stop me? / [I can make a sad face, or a happy face. Anything I want!]
 
A Softer World: 742 We can't just criminalize / drum circles. / ...can we? / [But... but what if we COULD?]
A Softer World: 743 There should be a word / for a threat that is also / a promise. / Because that is what / I want you to / hold me down and do. / [I love you]
A Softer World: 744 I wish I could say / that it gets better, / but my jaw is still / wired shut.
A Softer World: 745 If I could have / just one wish, / I would probably / screw it up. / [here. you might as well have it.]
A softer World: 746 I want everyone to love me / and I'm pretty sure / the trick is / to just be myself, / but with money. / [even gay men love boobs when they are made of money.]
 
A softer World: 747 Everyone wants someone / they can bring home to mom. / I need someone / to distract my mom while / I raid the medicine cabinet. / [someone who thinks suggested dosages are quaint.]
A Softer world: 748 Marriage isn't just between / a man and a woman / it's between any two people / who love each other / and want to / ruin their lives. / [in front of jesus and everybody.]
A Softer World: 749 Overreaction: / Any reaction to something / that doesn't affect me. / [Have you tried walking it off?]
A Softer World: 750 In this world of ours, / you have to look out / for number one. / Because I think he might / be a sociopath. / [It's a good life if you don't let him see you weaken.]
A Softer World: 751 I came up / with the best way / to shut people up: / "Oh shit, you're right!" / [I never thought of it like that!]
 

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