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Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic [[Antique photo of medical students examining a skeleton]] / Student in cap: Ok, we've got bone_Foot, bone_Shin, bone_Knee, bone_leg, and all the rest up to bone_Head concatenated, so all we need to do is call the walk_Around function from within the main program... / {{A lot of junior Necromancers...
Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic [[Crowd of glow-in-the-dark zombies holding signs reading 'brains' and 'Mrh!']] / Shouting voice: What do we want?!? / Zombies: Braiins... / Shouting voice; When do we want them?!? / Zombies: Braiins... / {{Zombies don't often protest on their own, but unscrupulous necromancers have been known to...
Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic [[Hot air balloon above trees]] / Pink: You look kinda depressed. What's wrong? / Blue: I just ran the numbers for the personal blimp. The balloon needs to be about twenty feet in diameter. / Pink: That won't fit in the garage. / Blue: I know. The laws of physics won't let me have any fun. / {{There's...
Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic [[Comupter screen showing web site statistics for comic server]] / Pink: Anything fun in the server logs? / Blue: Yeah. It looks like there's a link to the comic from Wikipedia. / Pink: Really? In what context? / Blue: It's a page on comics that link to or mention Wikipedia. / Pink: You're not going to...
Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic [[search engine window labeled "Fønétyx". In the search field is the word "Yaweh", below that is returned "Phonetic Web Results: Yaoi" and "Did you mean: Yahweh". Below both of these are several flesh-toned images that have been blurred out.]] / The beta-testing of the phonetic search engine came...
 
Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic [[Antique pictures of airships of various types]] / These days, personal blimps have been replaced by corporate jets, limousines and fleets of customized cars. / If airships were still around, they'd probably get heavily customized. / Neon lights. Fog generators. Leopard print sheathing for the...
Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic [[Antique adding machine]] / I dreamed that I was an accountant. / And that I was trying to show a client the flaw in his business plan. / It was sort of like a rental car company. / Except he was going to rent out time machines. / And his profit margin was based on late fees. / {{The really frustrating...
Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic [[Collection of old camera equipment]] / Remember the blackmailer's credo: / Accentuate the positives, duplicate the negatives. / {{Thanks to digital photography, this comic isn't going to make any sense at all in ten years.}}
Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic [[Close up picture of packaged bologna]] / A good sommelier knows which white wine goes best with the lobster / A great sommelier knows which boxed wine goes best with the bologna / {{Would Monsieur care to sniff the rubberized gasket?}}
Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic [[X-Ray image of a spine]] / Caption: Looks like there's a riot over at the back pain ward in the prison hospital... / <> / {{If your doctor tells you that the lumbar region is "where all the trees are," then I suggest you get a second opinion.}}
 
Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic [[Split image of two sinks, one very plain and white, the other a gothic carved pedestal in black]] / Pink: What're you reading that has you laughing like that? / Blue: Plumbing catalogs! / Pink: Ok... Why? / Blue: Everything is in one of two styles: There's the sterile, geometric Swedish techno-dream...
Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic [[Movie poster - Jackie Chan looking at a ship in a bottle sailing on a stormy ocean]] / Jackie Chan / Drunken Master and Commander / - / The Bottom of the Bottle / {{The tagline on this may have been mistranslated - I'm not sure if it should be "bottle" or "barrel."}}
Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic [[Tiny plastic zombies carrying a gigantic brain-shaped stress ball]] / Lead Zombie: Mrh! Bugh-muh grhhgh mrh...* / Tail Zombie: Guy mrh buh...** / * Come on, guys! This will feed us all for a week! / ** Or me for a month... / {{Of course tiny plastic glow-in-the-dark zombies eat squishy nerf...
Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic [[Shattered picture of flaming powerbook]] / WE ARE EXPERIENCING / PHILOSOPHICAL DIFFICULTIES / Pink: Isn't that a technical problem? / Blue: No, it's a state of mind. / Pink: How so? / Blue: I think it's a functional computer, it thinks it's an extremely expensive hand warmer. / PLEASE STAND BY / {{No...
Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic [[Close up shot of a blue rose]] / Roses are Red, Violets are Blue... / Everythings Relative, Nothing is True. / {{I don't know if that's a poem that I made up myself or if it's one that I read somewhere long enough ago that I've forgotten the source. It sounds vaguely like it should be scrawled in...
 
Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic [[Leather bandolier with baby bottles instead of bullets]] / Pink: It's got to be tough finding specialized maternity clothes. / Blue: You mean like maternity businesswear or formal clothing? / Pink: Yeah. And uniforms. Maternity lab coats, maternity scrubs... / Blue: Well, at least there's the...
Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic [[Picture of a Russian saint with halo holding a large cheeseburger. Text is pseuo-cyrillic]] / Icon has cheeseburger? / {{Somehow, the "LOL-saint" meme isn't quite as popular as the original...}}
Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic [[Close-up of eye]] / "Here's looking at you, kid." / "Here's looking / extremely / unsettlingly / closely / at you." / {{Imagine "Casablanca" if it had been written by George Orwell...}}
Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic [[Edge of a newspaper section]] / Pink: Is that the sports page? / Blue: Yep! They're covering the Supervillain Olympics. I'm just checking up on the "Dramatic Last Words" event. / Pink: What're the results? / Blue: Commander Carnage took Bronze with the classic: "You fools! Nothing can stop me!...
Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic [[Background of CDs]] / You've got a muttering face! / Big disk brakes! / Coconut candy all over the place! / More signs you may have a bootleg karaoke machine... / {{The first sign was that the track was titled "Weevils Rock You."}}
 
Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic [[Leaf impaled on a stick]] / Leaf (thinking): Ouch. / {{Autumn can be pointy and unpleasant.}}
Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic [[Background of comic sound effects]] / Villain: What's going on here?! I thought I was your _Nemesis_! / Hero: Hey now, that's a bit much, don't you think? / Villain: All I know is, I turn my back for one second and here you are _thwarting_ another villain! / Hero: But they're evil! And besides,...
Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic [[Orc warrior in battle armor]] / Orc: When I bite in to an Orc Peppermint Patty, I get the sensation... of seeing my enemies flee before me... And crushing them beneath the claws of my steel-grey Arctic wolf! / [[Wrapped candy with label reading "Orc Peppermint Pattie - Get the sensation!"]] / {{...And...
Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic [[Thermometer in ice reading around 14 degrees F]] / We're testing a new "Axiom Destruction Labs" refrigeration unit. / The axiom they were experimenting on was: "A Watched Pot Never Boils." / As it turns out, that's completely accurate. / We have no idea *why* this works. The current theory is...
Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic [[Close-up of shiny brass clockwork]] / Blue: Hey cool! Today is "Pretend to be a Time Traveller" day! / Pink: I don't think I've heard of that one. / Blue: It's an internet holiday. Just like September 19th is "Talk like a Pirate Day", December 8th is "Pretend to be a Time Traveller" day. / Pink:...
 
Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic [[Bottle of beer]] / Oddly, the brewery's interstate distribution problem was due to the local boards of education, and not the ATF or the state Beverage Control Boards / [[Label reads: Darwin's Organic Ale, "The Natural Selection." (may not be available in AL, Ar, GA, KS, KY, MS, OH, SC, TX or WI.)]] / {{Yet...
Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic [[Venetian clown mask on white background]] / All the world loves a clown. [[Big red "X"]] / Laugh, and the world laughs with you. [[Big red "X"]] / Let a smile be your umbrella. [[Big red "X"]] / Can't sleep. Clowns will eat me. [[Big green checkmark]] / {{Masks like this one should only be...
Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic [[Movie Poster]] / With Burt and Ariel this much fun just couldn't be legal! / The Best Little Mermaid in Texas / {{Yet another mixed movie title...}}
Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic [[Immense pipe organ with pictures of various members of the Bach family. Logo in corner reads: Organ Hero III, Legends of Bach]] / {{This game comes with the revolutionary "simplified organ" controller - it has only two rows of 26 keys each, 13 foot pedals and 8 stops.}}
Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic [[Angry green parrot striking down from the upper right corner of the page.]] / Polly want... / ... a FINGER. / {{Sometimes, the bird flips you back.}}
 

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