You're browsing the archives of Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic.
You can search these comics too.
show: [ show full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]
| Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic | [[Image of the White House behind chicken wire with a large, fanged chicken in the foreground]] / TV Announcer: Strange news from Washington DC today: a group of vampire chickens appear to have staged a bloodless coop. / {{Reports of vampire pigeons remain unconfirmed.}} http://quirkspace.com/comic/index.php?date=2008-08-22 |
| Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic | [[Close up of person holding coffee cup]] / Pink: Have you seen my coffee cup? / Blue: Isn't that it? / Pink: Yep. / Pink: I'm gonna look for it in the kitchen. / Blue: ... / Blue: Why? / Pink: Because I'm tired of things always being in the last place I look. / {{Sometimes Axiom Destruction... http://quirkspace.com/comic/index.php?date=2008-08-29 |
| Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic | [[Illustration of a sphere with arrows indicating a wobbling axis and a path of rotation]] / Astronomers know that in addition to spinning like a top, the Earth wobbles and rocks on its axis. / Somehow, this irregular side-to-side motion is transformed into angular velocity, causing the Earth to rotate. / Astrophysicists... http://quirkspace.com/comic/index.php?date=2008-09-05 |
| Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic | [[Man in ruffed collar with leafy greens instead of a head]] / Illustration from an Elizabethan cookbook / "Collared Greens" / {{A friend of mine told me this fun fact about greens: "In the Southern US, they think that the leaves of the turnip are edible. In the Northern US, they think the turnip... http://quirkspace.com/comic/index.php?date=2008-09-12 |
| Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic | [[Building with sign]] / In the event of France... / Would you be prepared?
/ Would your family be provided for? / France directly affects over sixty five million people, and touches the lives of millions more. / We can help. / [[Building Sign: French Insurance]] / {{I'm working on some advertisements... http://quirkspace.com/comic/index.php?date=2008-09-19 |
| Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic | [[Partially melted and deformed bear-shaped bottle of honey]] / Squeezy: Hello kids... I'm Squeezy the Honey Bear. And I've got an important message about the danger of drugs. / {{It's always sad when an up-and-coming celebrity ends their career doing court ordered public service announcements.}} http://quirkspace.com/comic/index.php?date=2008-09-26 |
| Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic | [[Glowing purple plant viewed partially through sunglasses]] / My fuchsia is so bright...
/ ... I've gotta wear shades. / {{Luciferase is the substance that makes fireflies produce light. Molecular biologists splice it into a variety of other organisms to help with genetic analysis, but the fact that... http://quirkspace.com/comic/index.php?date=2008-10-03 |
| Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic | [[Harmonica]] / I used to think there was nothing more annoying
/ than having a smoker plop themselves down upwind of me
/ and light up a cigarette / I think I've found something I can do in the smoking section
/ that is equally annoying
/ but non-carcinogenic / {{I credit the success of this discovery... http://quirkspace.com/comic/index.php?date=2008-10-10 |
| Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic | [[TV screens showing a car wreck, an explosion, a sunset, a NASCAR race, and a mountain road]] / Blue: What do you think of the new entertainment center? / Pink: The picture is great, but why does it keep changing channels every few seconds? / Blue: Well... A regular HD-TV was expensive... / Pink:... http://quirkspace.com/comic/index.php?date=2008-10-17 |
| Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic | [[Series of parts of people's faces, usually blinking, laughing, or oddly bug-eyed]] / Portrait photography is the art of capturing / the tiny moment when someone *actually* looks / the way that they *think* they look all the time. / {{If you were to film someone talking and print out every frame... http://quirkspace.com/comic/index.php?date=2008-10-24 |
| Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic | [[Bar graph of arms pointing at different heights on a silhouette. The graph is labeled "How 'Fed Up' Are We?" The vertical axis says "Have Had It Up To" and lists "Here" at each mark. The bar/arms are labeled "Pretty" "Totally" and "Completely" in ascending order.]] / The general frustration survey... http://quirkspace.com/comic/index.php?date=2008-10-31 |
| Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic | [[Rolling pin with "Thug Baker 4 Life" on it]] / That's how we roll. / {{Heavy D would only have been "Slightly Pudgy D" without my cinnamon rolls. Thug Baker 4 Life, yo.}} http://quirkspace.com/comic/index.php?date=2008-11-07 |
| Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic | [[Detail of Paris and Hellen of Troy]] / According to the International Bureau of Weights and Measures, / one "Millihellen" is the amount of beauty / required to launch a single ship. / {{Hm. I may be confusing the bureau with my fortune file.}} http://quirkspace.com/comic/index.php?date=2008-11-14 |
| Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic | [[Desk lamp, alternately on and off]] / Pink: So, Idle hands are the Devil's playthings? / Blue: Right. And many hands make light work. / Pink: So what do many idle hands do? / Blue: Play with the Devil's lights, I guess... / {{This is not actually the Devil's desklamp. He does have one just like... http://quirkspace.com/comic/index.php?date=2008-11-21 |
| Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic | [[Fingers holding tiny blue pill]] / How you see a pill. / [[Fingers holding spiky blue burr]] / How your cat sees the same pill. / {{Pilling a cat is always fun, especially when the attempt is made in a moving vehicle}} http://quirkspace.com/comic/index.php?date=2008-11-28 |
| Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic | [[Drill Sargent shouting at troop]] / Sgt: Awright maggots! Welcome to Yoga Boot Camp! Line up your Chakras and sound off! / Soldier: Ooooommmm...... / Sgt: You call that inner peace?!? SOUND OFF LIKE YOU'VE GOT AHIZMA! / Soldier: OOMMMMMMM!!! / {{I've seen kiosk posters advertising this sort... http://quirkspace.com/comic/index.php?date=2008-12-05 |
| Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic | [[Old 1950's style TV.]] / Blue: I think we need to call it off. / TV: What are you talking about? / Blue: Look, it's not your fault. We've just grown apart. / TV: What do you mean? I've always been there for you! / Blue: Yeah, but when was the last time we just hung out together? Two months... http://quirkspace.com/comic/index.php?date=2008-12-12 |
| Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic | [[Dentist's office with a laser-sword attachment on the drill arm]] / The other night, I dreamed / that Darth Vader and the Emperor / were training me in the Dark Side of the Force / so that I could be / their dentist. / {{I'm sure they're not the best people to have as patients. I mean, how does... http://quirkspace.com/comic/index.php?date=2008-12-19 |
| Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic | [[Maps of the US showing a driving route between Ann Arbor and Anaheim California]] / Tourist: Excuse please? But how to get to Disneyland? / Blue: Seriously? / Tourist: Yes, Disneyland. In California. / Blue: Ok. At that next intersection, turn left.
/ Blue: Take the exit onto I-94 west toward... http://quirkspace.com/comic/index.php?date=2008-12-26 |
| Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic | [[Close-up bulges of some hideous semi-fuzzy cloth]] / Marketing: So what's your opinion on the new stuffed animal? / Blue: The colors are hideous. The proportions are grotesque. / Blue: And the fabric and stuffing seem to have been chosen for their ability to provoke allergic reactions. / Blue:... http://quirkspace.com/comic/index.php?date=2009-01-02 |
| Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic | [[Gradually emptying bowl of curried chickpeas with onions]] / Blue: Hoo! / Blue: This is some HOT curry! / Pink: Mmm... It's weapons-grade spicy. / Blue: I've think we've made a weapon of masala destruction. / {{The curry in this comic was made according to this recipe. For added antisocial effect,... http://quirkspace.com/comic/index.php?date=2009-01-09 |
| Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic | [[Two men watching firefighters extinguish ruined building]] / Bob: Five Alarm Chili, is that right, Earl? / Earl: Shut up Bob. / Bob: Gonna win the annual "Chili Cook-Off" with this Earl? / Earl: Bob, shut up. / Bob: This is because fo the spicy curry cartoon last week, isn't it Earl? / Earl:... http://quirkspace.com/comic/index.php?date=2009-01-16 |
| Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic | [[Aretha Franklin's Inauguration Hat]] / Pink: Didja see the inauguration? / Blue: Oh yeah. The crowds, the people, the speech, the music... The HAT... / Pink: I LIKE the hat. / Blue: You didn't think it was a bit much? / Pink: She's Aretha Franklin! She could wear a propeller beanie and it'd... http://quirkspace.com/comic/index.php?date=2009-01-23 |
| Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic | [[White shirt front, buttoned with bottom misaligned.]] / When the lab adopted a more casual dress code / Igor discovered that he'd never actually been a hunchback. / {{Misbuttoning a shirt and crossthreading a bolt are kind of similar. The further you get before noticing your mistake, the harder... http://quirkspace.com/comic/index.php?date=2009-01-30 |
| Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic | [[Hourglass with tiny pink cubes instead of sand.]] / Like Spam(tm) through the hourglass... ...So are the Days of our Lives. / {{I know, I know... But if I get my hearing fixed, I'll miss out on all of these ideas for comics...}} http://quirkspace.com/comic/index.php?date=2009-02-06 |
| Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic | [[Horrible baby-faced teddy bear]] / No matter how horrible the toys in my dreams... / There are toys in reality that are much worse. / {{I'm not sure if I should find this realization comforting or terrifying.}} http://quirkspace.com/comic/index.php?date=2009-02-13 |
| Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic | [[Man in 18th century military uniform]] / George: I'm a little teapot, short and stout. This is my handle, this is my spout. / {{It's a little-known fact that George Washington was an accomplished composer of nursery rhymes.}} http://quirkspace.com/comic/index.php?date=2009-02-20 |
| Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic | [[World of ZorkCraft logo above computer terminal interface]] / Pink: How's the raid going? / Blue: Terrible! We're trying the 25 player assault on the "Maze of Twisty Passages." About half of the party didn't even bring lights. / Pink: What?! / Blue: I know! Four of them have already been eaten... http://quirkspace.com/comic/index.php?date=2009-02-27 |
| Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic | [[Very angry, very old cat staring at camera]] / Blue: What? Stop looking at me like that. / Meow: Cut it out! / Blue: I'm just trying to clean your litterbox. / Meow: Quit STEALING my POOPS! / {{She just got it all together, and now I'm taking it away.}} http://quirkspace.com/comic/index.php?date=2009-03-06 |
| Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic | [[Movie poster showing Kyle MacLachlan embracing a horse]] / National Blue Velvet / A David Lynch Production starring Isabella Rossellini, Elizabeth Taylor, Mickey Rooney, Kyle MacLachlan and Dennis Hopper / {{"I found a horse."}} http://quirkspace.com/comic/index.php?date=2009-03-13 |