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| Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic | [[Jawa with glowing eyes next to cat with glowing eyes]] / If a Jawa steals your droid, it's because he wants to sell it. You may be able to get it back, if you've got the money. / If a cat steals your droid it's because it is shiny and she wants to "play" with it. / You might be able to find your droid under the couch, if you are lucky. / But it's unlikely that it will ever work properly again. / {{This happened to my old Handspring Palm Pilot. The cat toy thing, I mean. Not the Jawas. / The other major difference between Cats and Jawas is that Jawas very rarely jump into cardboard boxes that they cannot subsequently jump back out of.}} http://quirkspace.com/comic/index.php?date=2006-05-05 |
| Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic | [[Various modified cars]] / Blue: First off on our exhibition of cars taht will never exist: The Lamborghini Minivan! / Pink: Second! The porsche four-door station wagon! / Blue: Third up! The Cooper Maxi SUV! All the great styling and twice the size! / Blue: And finally! The hummer green hybrid! It gets nearly 20 miles per gallon... / Pink: Uh.. Hang on. I think that last one exists. / Blue: Really? / Pink: Yeah. It's a prototype, but yeah. / Blue: Well crap. There goes my punchline. / {{The military has had a Hummer hybrid prototype since the late 90's. Not sure if there's every going to be a consumer model.}} http://quirkspace.com/comic/index.php?date=2006-05-12 |
| Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic | [[Close up of a car tire near the road]] / Never argue / With anything / That drinks gasoline / And runs at 60 MPH / {{Just remember, 4,000 pounds of metal and plastic moving at 88 feet per second will always win.}} http://quirkspace.com/comic/index.php?date=2006-05-19 |
| Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic | [[Large toad]] / Toad: So, like an idiot, I drank the potion. / {{He could find a princess if he really wanted to. He just really likes being a toad.}} http://quirkspace.com/comic/index.php?date=2006-05-26 |
| Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic | [[Seagull staring at camera]] / To the fish / I am death / I strike from above
/ swift
/ merciless
/ deadly / Even though you humans call us "Sky rats" / I bear you no ill-will
/ simply hand over the potato chips
/ and no one will get hurt / {{Why do so many of the birds I photograph have such evil eyes?}} http://quirkspace.com/comic/index.php?date=2006-06-02 |
| Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic | [[Two wedding rings]] / Blue: I still don't understand exactly how my marriage would be weakened if we let Alice marry Betty or Chad marry Daryl. / Pink: Yeah. Is it a matter of simple tensile strength, or something more subtle like the sinusoidal stress of metal fatigue? / Blue: Maybe they're worried about something like thermal shock. / Pink: Good point! If marriage has a poor coefficient of thermal expansion, that's something we all need to know about. / Blue: That's the kind of design flaw that could lead to a factory recall. / {{It's quite striking. The Wikipedia entry on metal fatigue is chock-full of statistics, formulae, calculus problems and scientific experiments demonstrating the truth behind their claims. The pages from the various "Defense" of marriage groups... well... aren't.}} http://quirkspace.com/comic/index.php?date=2006-06-09 |
| Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic | [[Close up of sharp metal edge pointing down from top of panel]] / There's a birthday game called "Heavy, Heavy, Hang Over Your Head." / The first person to play it was a Greek guy named Damocles. / He played for keeps. / {{I'm using Damocles as my example because any kitchen or garden implement looks lethal in extreme close-up. I would have done the comic about Aeschylus, but I didn't have a tortise handy.}} http://quirkspace.com/comic/index.php?date=2006-06-16 |
| Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic | [[Ornately framed picture of ropes]] / I told her that she was beautiful, like a work of art / and that I wanted to hang her on the wall in my bedroom. / {{The diagonal line indicates the divide between "Cheesy" and "Creepy."}} http://quirkspace.com/comic/index.php?date=2006-06-23 |
| Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic | [[Rabbit near bushes, watching camera warily]] / Rabbit: I used to do a lot of hunting. And I drove a huge old S.U.V. / Rabbit: But now, having seen the wrong end of a couple of shotguns, / Rabbit: and the bottoms of a lot of cars, / Rabbit: I think I'm allowed to say: Reincarnation sucks. / {{Reduce, reuse, recycle, reincarnate?}} http://quirkspace.com/comic/index.php?date=2006-06-30 |
| Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic | [[Shattered black background with banjo and old-fashioned hat]] / The PHANTOM of the OPRY / {{Now I've got a banjo rendition of "Music of the Night" stuck in my head.}} http://quirkspace.com/comic/index.php?date=2006-07-07 |
| Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic | [[Martini glass and shaker on cardboard boxes]] / There's a reason
/ important people / are called
/ movers / and shakers / {{Mmm... Gin. A very fine way to relax after moving lots of boxes...}} http://quirkspace.com/comic/index.php?date=2006-07-14 |
| Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic | [[Trio of astronauts in space]] / Furthest astronaut: At night, dear heart for you I pine / Closer astronaut: In all my dreams your fair face beams / Closest astronaut: You're the flower of my heart, sweet Adeline! / All three: Sweeeeet AAA-deee-liiiine! / {{In space, no one can hear you sing.}} http://quirkspace.com/comic/index.php?date=2006-07-21 |
| Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic | Disney movies based on theme park rides. / [[The Country Bears]] / No boats. Commercial failure. / [[Pirates of the Caribbean]] / Boats. Commercial success. / [[Haunted Mansion]] / No boats. Commercial failure. / [[Pirates of the Caribbean 2]] / Boats. Commercial success. / So, based on this blindingly obvious trend, allow me to present the next hit Disney movie based on a theme park ride... / [[It's a Small World]] / {{Trust me, it's a simple formula. Boats equal box office gold.}} http://quirkspace.com/comic/index.php?date=2006-07-28 |
| Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic | [[Newspaper article]] / VIDEO KILLS RADIO STAR!
/ Six others wounded in studio shootout
/ Lack of motive leaves authorities buggled. / I heard you on the wireless back in Fifty Two. Lying awake intent at tuning in on you. If I was young it didn't stop you coming through. Oh-a-oh. They took the credit for your second symphony. Rewritten by machine and new technology. And now I understand the problems as you see... / {{Rewritten by machine and new technology.}} http://quirkspace.com/comic/index.php?date=2006-08-04 |
| Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic | [[Montage of bandages]] / I asked the doctor if I needed stitches. / He said, "Don't worry." / "It'll stop bleeding on its own." / "Eventually." / {{This comic is guaranteed sterile until opened.}} http://quirkspace.com/comic/index.php?date=2006-08-11 |
| Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic | [[Various recording media on a soundwave background]] / When I had a radio DJ gig
/ I used to dream
/ that the music I was playing
/ went by so fast
/ that I could barely queue up the next track
/ before the current song was over.
/ Also, I couldn't find CDs or records.
/ Only things like reel-to-reel tape
/ Edison wax cylinders
/ wire spool recordings
/ and something that looked like the optical audio tracks from movies. / {{I'm pretty sure everyone has some sort of anxiety dream associated with their job, or their hobby. For a while, this was mine. It has recently been replaced with the one where I wake up Friday morning and realize that I don't have a comic ready.}} http://quirkspace.com/comic/index.php?date=2006-08-18 |
| Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic | [[Computer, sharpie marker and digital camera storage card.]] / Pink: I want to do a guest comic for you, but I can't think of anything funny. / Blue: What do you mean? You think of funny things all the time. / Pink: Yeah, but then I say them out loud and you wind up using them in the comic without giving me credit. / Blue: ... No I don't. / {{I always try to give credit where credit is due.}} http://quirkspace.com/comic/index.php?date=2006-08-25 |
| Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic | [[Humpty-dumpty style egg-head statue on plinth]] / I value your opinion, / so be honest... / Does this tie
/ make my head look big? / {{These particular objects d'art were part of the Ann Arbor Art Fair. They're made out of cast bronze and the nightmare tears of tiny children.}} http://quirkspace.com/comic/index.php?date=2006-09-01 |
| Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic | [[Scattered Zener Cards with bandages and other first aid gear]] / The first rule
/ of Psychic Fight Club:
/ "Don't think about Psychic Fight Club." / {{Those little cards with the circles and wavy lines and such have been used by recearchers to test psychic ability since the early 1930's. They're called Zener Cards. A full deck has twenty five cards; five of each shape. You can grab a PDF of 'em here in case you want to try to play "Scanners: The Home Game."}} http://quirkspace.com/comic/index.php?date=2006-09-08 |
| Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic | [[Very old cocker spaniel]] / YOU might not have seen it before,
/ but I assure you: that trick is NOT NEW. / {{Charlie-dog, this week's special guest star, appears courtesy of my in-laws.}} http://quirkspace.com/comic/index.php?date=2006-09-15 |
| Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic | [[Close-up of two telephones - one push button, one rotary dial]] / Marketer: Hello, I'm calling with a special offer from... / Blue: Wait wait wait! Before you go any further, I need to give you a warning. / Marketer: I'm sorry? What? / Blue: You're just doing your job. You don't deserve what's about to happen.
/ Blue: You're about to waste a LOT of time.
/ Blue: I'm going to deliberately misunderstand everything you say.
/ Blue: At the end of it all I'm not going to buy anything from you.
/ Blue: I'm going to annoy you until YOU hang up.
/ Blue: Your day will be ruined.
/ Blue: Your company will be out however much it costs to make a call.
/ Blue: But you can avoid all of this.
/ Blue: Just hang up right now. / Marketer: Ok... Um... I'm... I'm calling with a special offer... / Blue (thinking): And so it begins. / {{In a way, this comic is a tribute to legacy system support. That big old rotary phone (pictured on the right) still works. It's got an all-metal body, a hefty bakelite receiver, and a bell that you can hear two floors away. It's so old that the cloth-wrapped wiring between the phone and the receiver _doesn't coil._ But it still works with today's modern digital phone networks.}} http://quirkspace.com/comic/index.php?date=2006-09-22 |
| Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic | [[Astronaut reflected in the faceplate of another astronaut]] / Astronaut 1: They say that being on camera adds ten pounds / Astronaut 2: So right now you're on, what? Negative thirty cameras? / {{The "Astronomy Picture of the Day" is possibly the greatest internet resource ever.}} http://quirkspace.com/comic/index.php?date=2006-09-29 |
| Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic | [[Picture of a wide eyed cartoon bear]] / Caption: Nectar from the flowers of rhododendrons, mountain laurels and azaleas may contain grayanotoxin, a psychoactive poison. None of which completely explains the cardboard bear that I saw in the grocery store recently. / Bear: Hey kid... Wanna buy some honey? / {{I don't care if it's a "ten for $10" deal on honey. I don't trust the bear.}} http://quirkspace.com/comic/index.php?date=2006-10-06 |
| Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic | [[Enclosed kitty litter pan]] / Thought balloon: Phew! What crawled in here and died and didn't die? / Caption: Schroedinger's catbox / {{Just in case you're not familar with it, Cecil Adams' "Straight Dope" has possibly the most cogent - and certainly the most verseful - explanation of Schroedinger's cat.}} http://quirkspace.com/comic/index.php?date=2006-10-13 |
| Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic | [[Various cars on wavery backgrounds]] / Pink: Why did Toyota call that sedan the "Avalon"? Are they expecting King Arthur to drive up in one? / Blue: It's part of a continuing trend of naming cars after imaginary places. Like the Cadillac ElDorado. / Pink: Or the Mitsubishi Mirage. / Blue: It's a pity they're mostly luxury cars. I'd totally buy a "Brigadoon-buggy" / {{Avalon isn't too bad. It could have had a worse name. It could have been called "Zune".}} http://quirkspace.com/comic/index.php?date=2006-10-20 |
| Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic | [[Horribly mutilated pumpkin surrounded by tiny glow-in-the-dark zombies]] / Blue: ... / Pink: ... / Blue: ... / Pink: ... Maybe we shouldn't have let the zombies carve the pumpkin this year. / {{A guest comic by my wife... I wonder if that's why I don't have any lines this week?}} http://quirkspace.com/comic/index.php?date=2006-10-27 |
| Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic | [[Close-up of grey cat]] / My advice? / Nap early, nap often. / Being a cat all day isn't easy. / {{After all, if it were easy, everyone would be one.}} http://quirkspace.com/comic/index.php?date=2006-11-03 |
| Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic | [[Skyline of Detroit]] / Last night, I dreamed that I was buying Detroit.
/ The entire city of Detroit. / It was a gift for someone
/ but I was having second thoughts. / Because for the same amount of money / I could get
/ a really nice cake. / {{I'd probably go with the cake. Wrapping Detroit would be a pain...}} http://quirkspace.com/comic/index.php?date=2006-11-10 |
| Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic | [[Grainy picture of an institutional-style office coffee maker]] / Green: Have you tried the new coffee? / Yellow: Oh my God, it's foul! / Green: Yeah, it does taste pretty bad. / Yellow: Bad? It tastes like the back of Juan Valdez's donkey! / Green: It's supposed to have twice the caffeine of the old brand. / Yellow: ... Ok, maybe one more cup. /
/ Today's comic has been brought to you by... SWILL BRAND BREW - Cheap nasty tasting coffee. / {{I showed the logo to a friend of mine and he suggested I set up a shop to sell Swill Brand Brew coffee cups and paraphernalia.}} http://quirkspace.com/comic/index.php?date=2006-11-17 |
| Quirk's Evil Little Webcomic | [[Glowing-eyed cat under blanket]] / Cat: As a desert god, I used to hate winter. / Cat: Until I discovered how to channel static electricity. / Cat: Happiness is a warm death-beam glare. / {{Happy post-Thanksgiving food coma everybody!}} http://quirkspace.com/comic/index.php?date=2006-11-24 |