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| uglyhill.com/d/20050523.html | Eli: Hey Snug, you remember those "Vocation Tests" we had to take in school? / Snug: Pfft...Yeah. That Guidance Counselor had it in for me from the start. / Eli: Who, Mrs. Roberts? She was HOT. / Snug: Dude, she read my score out loud in class! / [[Eli is climbing over a chainlink fence]] / Snug: She... |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | ELI: Hey Snug, you remember those "vocation tests" we had to take in school?
/ SNUG: Pfft...yeah. That guidance counselor had it in for me from the start. / ELI: Who, Ms. Roberts? She was HOT.
/ SNUG: DUDE, She read my score out loud in class. / SNUG: She said I'd end up either deep-frying breaded cheese... http://uglyhill.com/d/20050523.html# |
| Ugly Hill Comic; Tuesday, May 24, 2005 | Snug: Come on, let's go to my house and eat an irresponsible amount of caramel popcorn.
/ Eli: Can't, I gotta look for a job.
/ Eli: Hastings is coming home soon, and if the classified section isn't wrinkled he'll assume I was out with you all day...which I was.
/ Eli: Okay, hold it, this is as far as you... http://uglyhill.com/d/20050524.html |
| Ugly Hill Comic; Wednesday, May 25, 2005 | Eli: Hm? Oh, hi Hastings. You're, like, eight hours late.
/ Hastings: Hello, Eli. I had a productive day at work. I completed many mindless tasks, and brought several of them home with me for no additional pay...
/ Hastings: Randall Johnson challenged my authority during a dispute over toner replenishment... http://uglyhill.com/d/20050525.html |
| Ugly Hill Comic; Thursday, May 26, 2005 | Hastings: Eli, did I or did I not tell you I did not want that friend of yours in the apartment?!
/ Eli: I'm sorry Hastings, but he came over when I was half asleep. I wasn't paying attention...
/ Hastings: I highly doubt that I could ever be in a deep enough slumber to let someone bathe in my kitchen... http://uglyhill.com/d/20050526.html |
| Ugly Hill Comic; Friday, May 27, 2005 | Hastings: Eli, your vile friend broke the sprayer when he was washing his filthy body in my sink. What do you intend to do about it?
/ Eli: You know I don't have any money Hastings. I'm out of work! Cut me some slack.
/ Hastings: Slack?! I have been cutting you copious amounts of slack since you moved... http://uglyhill.com/d/20050527.html |
| Ugly Hill Comic; Monday, May 30, 2005 | Eli: Admit it, Hastings; on the outside you're a big scary manager, but on the inside you're still mommy's little abomination!
/ Hastings: Lies! I am my own man! I take cues from no woman, lifegiver or otherwise!
/ Eli: Whatever, man. I'm gonna go use the phone.
/ Hastings: What? Wait...stop it. Are you... http://uglyhill.com/d/20050530.html |
| Ugly Hill Comic; Tuesday, May 31, 2005 | Snug: So, your brother was pretty mad, huh?
/ Eli: Yeah, he said if he ever catches you bathing in his kitchen again he'll scrub you and the sink out with bleach.
/ Eli: He also said you're a bad influence on me and...
/ Snug: What?! No way! If anything, you're the bad influence on me!
/ Eli: How do you... http://uglyhill.com/d/20050531.html |
| Ugly Hill Comic; Wednesday, June 1, 2005 | < http://uglyhill.com/d/20050601.html |
| Ugly Hill Comic; Thursday, June 2, 2005 | Mr. Ladwig: Hastings, can I talk to you?
/ Hastings: Of course, sir. I will count this conversation as my coffee break.
/ Mr. Ladwig: We've been getting a lot of employee gripes about you "abusing" power around here.
/ Hastings: I do not understand.
/ Mr. Ladwig: Well, Arthur Stewart claims you revoked his... http://uglyhill.com/d/20050602.html |
| Ugly Hill Comic; Friday, June 3, 2005 | Peter: H-Hello? Are you Mr. Hastings Kilgore?
/ Hastings: Place the donuts on the desk and leave me.
/ Peter: Oh, n-no Mr. Kilgore, I'm not the donut cart boy, my name is Peter. I'm a new intern starting today, and Mr. Ladwig told me to report to you.
/ Hastings: Intern?! Ladwig knows I have no use for... http://uglyhill.com/d/20050603.html |
| Ugly Hill Comic; Monday, June 6, 2005 | Hastings: So, how do you like being an intern?
/ Peter: It's okay, I guess. I get credit in some of my classes, but I'm not really interested in going into business.
/ Hastings: Oh, so you hope to be an unproductive drain on society, then?
/ Peter: No, I want to go to art school.
/ Hastings: That is what... http://uglyhill.com/d/20050606.html |
| Ugly Hill Comic; Tuesday, June 7, 2005 | Hastings: As manager, I have posted my policies regarding several workplace issues in every cubicle. Here is your copy.
/ Peter: Oh, okay, thanks.
/ Peter: But don't you mean the company's policies?
/ Hastings: No I do not. I find that the company's policies do not go far enough in restricting the personal... http://uglyhill.com/d/20050607.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Wednesday, June 8, 2005 | Eli: Gah! Snug, it's so humid down here!
/ Snug: I like to think of it less as a basement and more like a sauna with circuit breakers. / Eli: Okay, time to find me a job. Did you get the newspapers?
/ Snug: Uh, yeah, but Mom confiscated it to line the bird cage. / Eli: Oh. Well I'll just go online then.... http://uglyhill.com/d/20050608.html |
| Ugly Hill Comic; Thursday, June 9, 2005 | Eli: Are you using a dirty pie plate as a throw pillow?
/ Snug: I like how the blueberry filling sets off the ink stains on the futon. / Eli: This place smells worse than refried French roadkill! I'm not neat freak, but I recognize stuff down here from when we were kids...
/ Eli: Like this retainer...and... http://uglyhill.com/d/20050609.html |
| Ugly Hill Comic; Friday, June 10, 2005 | Eli: Ugh! Doesn't your mom get upset that you keep your room like this?
/ Snug: Not since the day I turned eighteen. / Snug: That was the day she let me move down here to the basement so she wouldn't have to look at my face anymore. / Snug: We even put in a complex system of pneumatic tubes so we could... http://uglyhill.com/d/20050610.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Monday, June 13, 2005 | Peter: I'm all done, Mr. Kilgore. I need something else to do.
/ Hastings: What?! Impossible! I gave you that task only moments ago! / Peter: Sorry, but if you would trust me with something more involved than rinsing out the coffee pot, maybe I wouldn't have to bug you. / Hastings: Hmmm. Point taken. / Hastings:... http://uglyhill.com/d/20050613.html |
| Ugly Hill Comic; Tuesday, June 14, 2005 | Co-Worker: So, how's life as Hastings' intern? How many stitches you up to? 100? 150?
/ Peter: None yet. I think he's just sticking to verbal abuse until he can make sure there are no witnesses.
/ Co-Worker: Aw, I'm just pullin' yer leg, Pete. Hastings wouldn't hurt a fly.
/ Peter: Actually, I saw him hurt... http://uglyhill.com/d/20050614.html |
| Ugly Hill Comic; Wednesday, June 15, 2005 | Hastings: Where did you get this recipe? "Better Homes and Dung Heaps"?
/ Eli: Hey, come on Hastings, that's cold. At least I tried. / Hastings: No, what is cold are these peas, which appear to be frozen, while at the same time the potatoes bubble like molten rock... / Hastings: In addition the steak... http://uglyhill.com/d/20050615.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Thursday, June 16, 2005 | [[Hastings & Eli, eating sandwiches]]
/ Hastings: I have a new intern at work, and I dislike him intensely.
/ Eli: Why? Did he make fun of your stumpy little arms? / Hastings: *No*, he did not do anything, I just don't like him. Unlike *you* whom I dislike due to your continued mooching.
/ Eli: Yeah, yeah. / [[Hastings... http://uglyhill.com/d/20050616.html |
| Ugly Hill Comic; Friday, June 17, 2005 | Eli: So what's your intern's name, or did you not bother to memorize it?
/ Hastings: Ah... his name is Peter Wipp, I believe. / Eli: No way! I used to babysit that kid in high school! You remember his dad, right?
/ Hastings: Yes, of course, single father. That might explain his son's defective personality. / Eli:... http://uglyhill.com/d/20050617.html |
| Ugly Hill Comic; Monday, June 20, 2005 | Eli: Hey, remember that kid I used to babysit in high school? Peter Wipp?
/ Snug: Oh yeah!.. / Snug: I used to come over after he fell asleep and eat all of Mr. Wipp's mini-muffins.
/ Eli: Well, he's my brother's new intern at work. I hope Hastings goes easy on him. / Snug: Yeah, that kid was fragile...
/ Snug:... http://uglyhill.com/d/20050620.html |
| Ugly Hill Comic; Tuesday, June 21, 2005 | Hastings: So Peter, how was your first week as my intern?
/ Peter: It was okay, I guess. I'm kind of tired and unsatisfied. / Hastings: Yes, yes, that means you're doing it right are you going home now?
/ Peter: My dad was supposed to pick me up, but he can't can you give me a ride? / Hastings: Now?!... http://uglyhill.com/d/20050621.html |
| Ugly Hill Comic; Wednesday, June 22, 2005 | Hastings: Peter? Peter, wake up. Do you still need a ride home?
/ Peter: Snrk?... Wha? What time is it? Midnight?! I asked if you could give me a ride seven hours ago!
/ Hastings: Yes, I got caught up in some paperwork. Your cab should be here any minute..
/ Peter: Cab?! You're still not going home?!
/ Hastings:... http://uglyhill.com/d/20050622.html |
| Ugly Hill Comic; Thursday, June 23, 2005 | Eli: Hey, Peter! What are you doing here?
/ Hastings: Eli! I didn't know you lived with Hastings.
/ Eli: Yeah, I'm his brother. Dropping off some work stuff for Hastings?
/ Peter: No, I need him to sign this paper for school saying he fired me.
/ Eli: Aw, dude he fired you already? What'd you do?
/ Peter:... http://uglyhill.com/d/20050623.html |
| Ugly Hill Comic; Friday, June 24, 2005 | Eli: ...so I told Peter I'd try to convince Hastings to give him his job back.
/ Snug: Solid.
/ Peter: Thanks Eli, but seriously, you don't have to go to any trouble. I mean sure, I'll miss out on school credits, but...
/ Eli: Awww, isn't that cute?
/ Snug: It's okay, buddy. You're among friends.
/ Eli: My... http://uglyhill.com/d/20050624.html |
| Ugly Hill Comic; Monday, June 27, 2005 | Eli: Come on, give Peter a second chance. As a personal favor to me. Please?
/ Hastings: No! That child has no respect for the sacred drudgery of my workplace!
/ Eli: Just give him his job back, Hastings. I'll do anything you want...
/ Hastings: Anything?
/ Eli: Anything.
/ [[Later...]]
/ Hastings: Wherever... http://uglyhill.com/d/20050627.html |
| Ugly Hill Comic; Tuesday, June 28, 2005 | Snug: So? Did you get Peter his job back?
/ Eli: Yeah, but in exchange Hastings blindfolded me and made me pick a job at random from the classifieds.
/ Snug: Cripes! So no matter what, you had to take that job? What'd you pick?
/ Eli: Well, first I picked "doctor", but Hastings said I'd have to take some... http://uglyhill.com/d/20050628.html |
| Ugly Hill Comic; Wednesday, June 29, 2005 | Snug: So we've established you can't be a doctor, a speech therapist, or a surrogate mother. What kind of job did you end up with?
/ Eli: "Fry cook".
/ Snug: HA! HA! HA!
/ Eli: You do a lot of laughing for a guy whose mommy won't let him leave the house without his "emergency wig maintenance" beeper.
/ [[Awkward... http://uglyhill.com/d/20050629.html |
| Ugly Hill Comic; Thursday, June 30, 2005 | Snug: Ha ha, hee he.. Oh man. That's funny..
/ Eli: If you're quite through laughing like a buffoon, I'll have you know there's nothing funny about taking a job at a fast food joint. / Eli: It's honest work, and I'll finally be helping my brother pay the bills.
/ Eli: And I'll probably get a nametag...... http://uglyhill.com/d/20050630.html |
| Ugly Hill Comic; Friday, July 1, 2005 | Peter: Hey, thanks for helping me get my job back, guys.
/ Eli: No problem! And now we can hang out all the time! / Peter: Wow! Wait until I tell my dad I'm friends with two college graduates! / Eli and Snug: Uhhh... / Peter: Well, high school graduates. Whatever.
/ Eli: Errr.....
/ [[Snug Whistles ... http://uglyhill.com/d/20050701.html |
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