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| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | [[NORA THE DOG is agitated and pointing at the door.]]
/ NORA THE DOG: RUFF! BARK BARK! BARK!
/ HASTINGS: ALL RIGHT, Nora! This has happened thirty times in the last five minutes! Don't you detect a pattern? / [[HASTINGS answers the door. An adult is there. He's the green guy HASTINGS was screaming... http://uglyhill.com/d/20081030.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | [[BYRON CRANDALL is back.]]
/ HASTINGS: YOU again? I thought I told you to take a long walk off a tall skyscraper?
/ CRANDALL: Yes, you were VERY RUDE to me. I'd like an apology. / HASTINGS: If anything, you owe me an apology for wasting my valuable time!
/ CRANDALL: But it's Halloween. All I wanted... http://uglyhill.com/d/20081031.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | [[HASTINGS' point of view, with his bloody hand in the foreground and the knife-wielding BYRON CRANDALL standing over him.]]
/ HASTINGS: You...you STABBED ME!
/ CRANDALL: Should have given me some candy. / HASTINGS: But Halloween is for CHILDREN! I gave candy to all the kids who came by! HONEST! / [[The... http://uglyhill.com/d/20081103.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | CRANDALL: You probably don't know me, Mr. Kilgore, but I know you.
/ HASTINGS: Yes, I'm the man you just STABBED WITH A KNIFE! Nice to meet you. / CRANDALL: No. Before that. This was a test. A compassion test...
/ AND YOU HAVE FAILED. / HASTINGS: So now what? Are you going to take me on a MYSTICAL... http://uglyhill.com/d/20081104.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | [[NORA THE DOG attacks BYRON CRANDALL, biting him on the shoulder and immediately drawing blood.]]
/ CRANDALL: NOOO! / HASTINGS: Good girl, Nora! GO FOR THE TENDER VITTLES, like we practiced on the mannequin! / [[HASTINGS gets on the phone as NORA continues to maul CRANDALL in the next room.]]
/ HASTINGS:... http://uglyhill.com/d/20081105.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | [[And we're back where we started, with HASTINGS cowering behind the desk, on the phone, calling for help.]]
/ HASTINGS: I don't care if you get a lot of prank calls on Halloween! If you don't send help soon, HE'S GOING TO KILL M--
/ Hello?
/ HELLO!? / [[HASTINGS recoils in terror.]]
/ HASTINGS: NO!... http://uglyhill.com/d/20081106.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | [[BYRON CRANDALL lies, beaten and bloody, on the floor. His eyes are open, but he seems nonresponsive.]]
/ COP (offpanel): His name is Byron Crandall, from Blight Point, California. According to the manifesto we found in his back pocket, he worked for you during that time. He followed you here for... http://uglyhill.com/d/20081107.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | [[ELLIOTT KRAUTHAMMER and PETER are in the cafeteria at Poisonwood Brands.]]
/ ELLIOTT: C'mon, c'mon, hurry UP! I got my kid with me today, and I can't leave her alone at my desk for too long!
/ PETER: All right, GEEZ. Why did you bring her to work? / ELLIOTT: My stupid wife told me it was "Bring... http://uglyhill.com/d/20081117.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | PETER: You introduce your son as your DAUGHTER!? Why would you DO that?
/ ELLIOTT: You heard his voice. Plus he cries, like, at LEAST once a month. / PETER: He's just a KID! You're going to give him a complex! / ELLIOTT: Pfft...If it's "complex," Evan probably can't handle it. Kid can't even... http://uglyhill.com/d/20081118.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | PETER: Elliott brought his son to work today. That kid is seriously messed up.
/ HASTINGS: Is this the part where I feign shock and/or concern? / PETER: I know, but...Man, it's just not right, the way he treats that poor kid. He just wants his father's attention.
/ HASTINGS: His son should try dressing... http://uglyhill.com/d/20081119.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | PETER: Oh, hey Evan. What are you watching?
/ EVAN: SHH! Daddy doesnt know I'm in here, but my favorite show is on. / PETER: Oh man, "Abomination Station!" This was my favorite show when I was a kid, too! I can't believe it's still on.
/ EVAN: Daddy says puppets are gay. / EVAN: Sometimes I wish I could... http://uglyhill.com/d/20081120.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | PETER: Elliott, I'm taking your son.
/ ELLIOTT: Okay. / PETER: We're going to a taping of his favorite show this afternoon.
/ ELLIOTT: Uh-huh. / PETER (daring ELLIOTT to contradict him): Because he's a GOOD boy and he deserves a treat!
/ ELLIOTT: Sounds good. / PETER: We were going to take the bus,... http://uglyhill.com/d/20081121.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | [[We're watching a taping of an episode of "Abomination Station." Two colorful characters are acting out a scene.]]
/ GOOFBALL JONES: Meemo, who left this trash in the middle of the road?
/ MEEMO: Ha ha, that's not trash, Goofball Jones...That's the letter "T!" / GOOFBALL JONES: Can you think of a... http://uglyhill.com/d/20081124.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | [[After the end of the "Abomination Station" taping.]]
/ EVAN: And that part...and that part where Hermes asks Kurt to tell him a story because he can't sleep? WHITE-KNUCKLE EXCITEMENT!
/ PETER: I'm glad you liked it, Evan. / FUZZBALL REMOVAL TECHNICIAN: Hey, youse guys like the show, do ya? How'd... http://uglyhill.com/d/20081125.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | [[PETER and EVAN are exploring the "Abomination Station" set. EVAN can barely contain himself.]]
/ EVAN: MEEMO! Look Peter, it's Meemo! Meemo is my FAVORITE!
/ PETER (EVAN's delight is infectious): Don't tell ME, tell him! / [[EVAN runs up to the wall MEEMO peeks over.]]
/ EVAN: MEEMO YOU ARE MY FAVORITE!
/ MEEMO:... http://uglyhill.com/d/20081126.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | PETER: Wow Evan, look! It's Abomination Station's resident grump, Slaggo the Crank!
/ EVAN: OH! Oh no...uh, let's go this way instead. / [[Medium shot of SLAGGO THE CRANK, who really does look quite unpleasant.]]
/ PETER (offpanel): Don't you want to meet Slaggo?
/ EVAN (also offpanel): No, he's scary.... http://uglyhill.com/d/20081127.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | PETER: All right, Evan, wave goodbye to "Abomination Station."
/ EVAN: Bye bye, I love you!
/ SLAGGO THE GRUMP (offpanel): Good riddance, ya pukes! / PETER: What? Who...Oh, hey, it's Slaggo! Uh, say hello, Evan.
/ EVAN (terrified): NO! I told you I didn't want to see him! He's scary! / SLAGGO:... http://uglyhill.com/d/20081128.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | [[PETER goes backstage without EVAN.]]
/ PETER: Psst! Slaggo's puppeteer! PSST!
/ SLAGGO'S PUPPETEER: Huh? Hey, you're not supposed to be back here, kid! You'll wreck the illusion! / PETER: I'm sorry, but my little friend out there is scared of Slaggo, and I think he needs to face his fear.
/ SLAGGO'S... http://uglyhill.com/d/20081201.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | [[PETER is trying to get EVAN to talk to SLAGGO THE GRUMP, who has taken his usual place at the wall.]]
/ PETER: Evan, I want you to tell Slaggo how he makes you feel.
/ EVAN: NO! He'll yell at me and get poo-water in my mouth! / PETER: No he won't, Evan. He'll quietly and patiently listen to your... http://uglyhill.com/d/20081202.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | EVAN: The monsters on "Abomination Station"...are PUPPETS? I had no idea.
/ PETER: Sorry, Evan. I was just trying to show you that if you can stand up to Slaggo, you can stand up to your dad. / EVAN: I guess my dad is kind of like a puppet... / EVAN: He's hollow inside, but instead of someone's... http://uglyhill.com/d/20081203.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | [[ELLIOTT finds EVAN and PETER walking back to the office.]]
/ ELLIOTT: EVAN! Where have you been?! Your mother has been worried sick, and she's very annoying, so it partially affected me as well!
/ EVAN (waving PETER off): I'll handle this. / EVAN: Dad, we're going home. And when we get there,... http://uglyhill.com/d/20081204.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | [[HASTINGS is leaving work for the day and notices EVAN is there.]]
/ HASTINGS: What are YOU doing here? / EVAN: I'm waiting for my dad. We're going for ice cream!
/ HASTINGS: Wait, I thought your father treated you shabbily? / EVAN (proudly): He did, but then Peter taught me to stand up for myself.... http://uglyhill.com/d/20081205.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | (Reprints the strip from 12/7/2005.)
/ [[ELI KILGORE is listening to the radio on headphones]]
/ DJ: Hey, you're listening to WGLY, the ROCK of Maulington, and have WE got an early Christmas present for you!
/ DJ: Did someone say "SKULLDRIFT?!" / DJ: Everyone remembers the punishing, driving riffs of "RIBCAGE... http://uglyhill.com/d/20081208.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | (Reprints the strip from 12/8/2005.) / ELI: I DID IT! I won tickets to "SKULLDRIFT"!
/ SNUG: What? That band you liked in high school? / ELI: I spent four years of my LIFE with headphones grafted to my head listening to their eight studio albums and three live bootleg tapes! / SNUG: Man, playin' FAST... http://uglyhill.com/d/20081209.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | (Reprints strip from 12/9/2005) / SNUG: Wait, this concert is TONIGHT?! It's Christmas Eve!
/ ELI (digging through closet): That's the best PART! / ELI: SKULLDRIFT is planning a HUGE comeback, and it's all kicking off tonight! Only DIEHARD FANS will be there!
/ SNUG: Well I don't know if I can go,... http://uglyhill.com/d/20081210.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | (Reprints the strip of 12/12/2005.) / ELI: You GOTTA come with me! I don't wanna go to a Skulldrift show by myself!
/ SNUG: Well I can't go. Why don't you ask your brother? / HASTINGS: Ask me what?
/ ELI: Uh, you wouldn't be interested. / SNUG: Eli wants to go to a concert on Christmas Eve. ... http://uglyhill.com/d/20081211.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | (Reprints strip from 12/13/05)
/ ELI: PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE!
/ SNUG: ALL RIGHT! FINE! I'LL GO TO THE STUPID CONCERT! / SNUG: But you gotta promise we'll be home by 5am at the LATEST. Mom will be heartbroken if I'm not home for Christmas.
/ [[ELI rocks out in the background.]] / ELI:... http://uglyhill.com/d/20081212.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | (Reprints the strip from 12/14/2005) / [[ELI and SNUG are at the venue for the Skulldrift show.]]
/ SNUG: THREE HOURS in line?! Ugh, I gotta pee...
/ ELI: I hope we didn't miss the opening act. / ELI: Ooh, NOPE! "Eyerocket" hasn't even set up yet!
/ SNUG: Where are our seats?
/ ELI: Didn't I tell... http://uglyhill.com/d/20081215.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | (Reprints strip from 12/15/2005) / SNUG: You know I can't go backstage with you after the show, right? I gotta get home.
/ ELI: NO! COME ON! I CAN'T GO BY MYSELF! / SNUG: Why not? You're the one who likes this STUPID band so much!
/ ELI: Well, yeah, but...if you haven't noticed, I don't fit in... http://uglyhill.com/d/20081216.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | (Reprints strip from 12/xx/2005.) / < http://uglyhill.com/d/20081217.html |
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