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| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | (Ugly Hill Reruns: Week 5)
/ (Reprints the strip from January 9, 2006) / HASTINGS: Peter, your father CANNOT be the famous business genius PROD ROBERTS! He looks nothing like him!
/ PETER: He wrote those books under a pen name. / HASTINGS (blue all over): But... I based my ENTIRE LIFE on these books!... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060828.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | (Ugly Hill Reruns: Week 5)
/ (Reprints the strip from January 17, 2006) / [[ELI encounters his landlady, MRS. MENDOZA.]]
/ ELI: Oh, hi Mrs. Mendoza! I was just going out to shovel the walk, as per our lease agreement!
/ MRS. MENDOZA: EH? / ELI (thinks): Oh MAN... I forgot if Mrs. Mendoza is hard of hearing,... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060829.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | (Ugly Hill Reruns: Week 5)
/ (Reprints the strip from February 17, 2006) / [[HASTINGS reads the note again.]]
/ NOTE: My Dearest: I burn for you. I can barely stand working alongside you anymore, your smell is so intoxicating. Meet me in the parking lot after work today if you're interested. Love, Your... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060830.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | (Ugly Hill Reruns: Week 5)
/ (Reprints the strip from May 9, 2006) / [[SNUG and ELI are chest-deep in bills.]]
/ SNUG: I thought your brother paid all the bills, dude.
/ ELI: He pays all the HOUSEHOLD bills. There are all my personal debts. / ELI: Ever since I turned eighteen, I've been getting three... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060831.html |
| Ugly Hill Reruns: Week 5 | [[In the dark]]
/ SNUG: SNRK!
/ What happened? Why are we in a cave?
/ ELI: I decided to camp here for the night. Dad's asleep. / [[Outside, cave entrance]]
/ ELI: He said we couldn't go back to the car, because that's the first place they'd look. I can't believe he got himself into this mess by not paying... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060901.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | [[This strip shows the pencils for the one posted on 9/5/06.]] http://uglyhill.com/d/20060904.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | [[The moon rises over a graveyard]] / [[A gravestone with a cat headstone atop the memorial.]]
/ PLAQUE: Fluffers: There Are No Milk Trucks in Heaven / [[A stone cross.]]
/ PLAQUE: Professor Squiggles / ATE A SOCK / [[Another headstone.]]
/ HEADSTONE: Here lies BLANK. He was a good dog. / [[A squirrel... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060905.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | [[A green paw bursts out of the ground, sending the SQUIRREL flying.]] / [[The SQUIRREL grimaces in pain and rubs his head.]] / [[A green, UNDEAD DOG is silhouetted against the night sky. A few flies buzz around it.]] / [[The SQUIRREL stares at the UNDEAD DOG, absolutely terrified.]] / [[The SQUIRREL... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060906.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | [[The SQUIRREL struggles as something lifts it off the ground.]]
/ SQUIRREL: GGK! / [[BLANK, the undead dog, holds the squirrel tightly between its paws.]]
/ BLANK: Make peace with your little squirrel God, okay? This will only hurt for a second. / [[BLANK squeezes the SQUIRREL. The SQUIRREL's head... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060907.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | [[BLANK pushes the upended cup into the freshly-turned earth. On it, he has scrawled "Here lies Cecil."]]
/ BLANK: You looked like a "Cecil" to me. / [[BLANK pauses for a moment of silent reflection before a bunch of makeshift graves, each marked with a piece of trash with a name scrawled on it: A... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060908.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Monday, September 11, 2006 | [[Ms. Mudrick is sitting in a confessional, the priest's shadow can be seen through the screened window behind her.]] / Ms. Mudrick: Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been two days since my last confession.
/ Father Leif: Tell me your sins, child. / Ms. Mudrick: Okay, um, the other day I... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060911.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Tuesday, September 12, 2006 | Father Leif: So, your co-worker is verbally abusive?
/ Samantha Mudrick: To say the least. But that doesn't excuse me for hating him. / Miss Mudrick: Have you ever had hatred in your heart, father?
/ Leif: Of course... / Leif: Why, I haven't spoken to my own cousin in ten years.
/ Miss Mudrick: Well,... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060912.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Wednesday, September 13, 2006 | FATHER LEIF: I'm not supposed to do this, but your abusive co-worker is HASTINGS KILGORE?
/ MS. MUDRICK: Yes. Am I allowed to look directly at you, Father? / LEIF: Yes of COURSE! This is an amazing coincidence! Hastings is my estranged cousin!
/ MUDRICK: Really? So...you know how he can be? Horrible,... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060913.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Thursday, September 14, 2006 | [[Father Leif and Ms. Mudrick are in his office, each with a cup of tea]]
/ Leif: The last time I spoke to my cousin was at his wedding.
/ Ms. Mudrick: Which one? / [[Close up of the two. Ms. Mudrick sips her tea as she speaks.]]
/ Leif: Excuse me?
/ Ms. Mudrick: Hastings has been married seven times in... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060914.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Friday, September 15, 2006 | PRIEST: Perhaps my story will give you some idea of how to improve your relationship with Hastings.
/ MUDRICK: I'll take all the help I can get. / PRIEST: Before the INCIDENT, Hastings and I got along just fine. In fact, even though he wasn't Catholic, he had asked me to perform the ceremony at his... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060915.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Monday, September 18, 2006 | CAPTION: 10 years ago...
/ HASTINGS: Look, Hope would like you to marry us, but if you think I'm converting, you're CRAZY. / FATHER LEIF: Hastings, I can't marry you in the Catholic church unless you're a Catholic. I'm sorry, but it's the rules.
/ HASTINGS: Who's going to know I'm not Catholic? / [[LEIF... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060918.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Tuesday, September 19, 2006 | HOPE: So, how did it go?
/ HASTINGS: That collared RAT won't marry us unless I convert to Catholicism. / HOPE: Well yeah, DUH. I thought you knew that.
/ HASTNGS: You knew about this?! YOU SET ME UP! / HOPE: I just didn't think you'd MIND, that's all. You're not very religious. / HASTINGS: NONSENSE!... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060919.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Wednesday, September 20, 2006 | Hope: Please, it's very important to my family that we get married in the Catholic Church.
/ Hastings: No! Bunch of wafer-chomping, wine-guzzling.... / Hastings: Sigh. Fine. What do I have to do?
/
/ Hope: Well, assuming you pass the class, you'll have to be baptized.
/ Hastings: Wh-- Class?! Baptized?!... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060920.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Thursday, September 21, 2006 | ELI: Hey man, can you pick me and Barney up at the bowling alley later?
/ HASTINGS: Sorry, I can't. I have a CLASS to attend. / ELI: Oh YEAH! Mom told me Hope was making you convert to Catholicism! Ha ha! Whipped! WH-PSH! WH-PSH! / ELI: Wh-psh! / [[ELI is now severely battered.]]
/ ELI: THAT... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060921.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Friday, September 22, 2006 | HASTINGS: Hastings Kilgore, reporting for "USELESS GIBBERISH 101!" Where's my dunce cap and clown nose? / FATHER LEIF: Some respect, PLEASE! If you think it's such GIBBERISH, maybe you don't really want to get married in our church!
/ HASTINGS: No, I kid, I kid. / HASTINGS: Let's go learn about... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060922.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Monday, September 25, 2006 | MUDRICK: So did you actually get Hastings to CONVERT?
/ PRIEST: No, I had to kick him out of class to cool off about two minutes in. / [[FLASHBACK of Hastings stewing outside the classroom.]]
/ PRIEST: I expected him to just sit in the hall, but he must have gone wandering, because he ended up in the... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060925.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Tuesday, September 26, 2006 | CAPTION: Other churches sometimes rent out space to store their less...POPULAR statues.
/ [[HASTINGS reads the plaque on one of said statues.]]
/ HASTINGS: Saint DOUG? / HASTINGS: No wonder I can't identify with this church! All this concrete could have built something useful; like a BANK! Or a millionaire... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060926.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Wednesday, September 27, 2006 | HASTINGS: Perhaps I may have acted hastily. Any religion who appoints a patron saint to office workers must have SOME redeeming factors. / LEIF: Maybe I over reacted. I hope I can get Hastings to come back to class before we start "Wafer Bingo." / HASTINGS: I should go apologize to Leif for being... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060927.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Thursday, September 28, 2006 | PRIEST: I never forgave my cousin for destroying that statue. I guess that makes me a hypocrite, doesn't it?
/ MUDRICK: Oh, I don't think so, Father. / MUDRICK: Just because you're not PERFECT doesn't mean you shouldn't encourage enlightenment in others. / PRIEST: Well, maybe. So how are you going... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060928.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Friday, September 29, 2006 | [[HASTINGS reads a letter.]]
/ LETTER: Hastings, It's been too long since we last spoke. I forgive you, and I'd like to catch up on the last ten years. Please... / [[HASTINGS looks emotional.]] / [[Closeup of HASTINGS placing the letter on a table next to what appears to be a fragment of the statue... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060929.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Monday, October 2, 2006 | Eli Kilgore: Hey, how do I look?
/ Snug Snugworth: Like a sado-masochistic blueberry. I think you cut yourself shaving. / Eli: Crap! I'm so nervous about tonight my hand is shaking like a leaf.
/ Snug (OS): Relax, man. It's just a date. / Eli: Snug, the first and last time I went out with a woman was... http://uglyhill.com/d/20061002.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Tuesday, October 3, 2006 | Eli Kilgore: So, uh, did you like the movie?
/ Olive: I guess it sounded okay. / Eli Kilgore: Yeah, most chicks can't stomach hardcore Guatemalan horror. But the things those people can do with spaghetti sauce and cat organs? Majesty. / Olive: Yeah, whatever. Okay, bye.
/ Eli Kilgore: Oh! Right. Well,... http://uglyhill.com/d/20061003.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Wednesday, October 4, 2006 | Snug Snugworth: Hey, I heard it didn't go so well with Olive.
/ Eli Kilgore: It's okay. I just hope she stays safe fighting for our freedom overseas. / Snug: What are you, a stooge? She's not going to war, man. She blew you off.
/ Eli: Oh. / [[Realization sinks in for Eli]] / Eli: Hey, I'm sexy, right?... http://uglyhill.com/d/20061004.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Thursday, October 5, 2006 | [[Eli Kilgore stands in a unshaven and disheveled state of disrepair]] / Hastings Kilgore: Growing a beard, I see? I look forward to seeing less of your face.
/ Eli: Why should I shave? I shaved last night and my date dumped me anyway. I'm gonna go sit on the toilet and drink ketchup from the bottle. / [[Eli... http://uglyhill.com/d/20061005.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Friday, October 6, 2006 | [[ELI sits on the floor, holding a ketchup bottle, flies buzzing around him. His beard is thicker.]]
/ ELI: What do YOU want? Tired of MATTRESS DANCING with the sexy ladies, so you come to see me?
/ SNUG: I heard you stopped shaving. / SNUG: So I came down here to wallow in scruffy depression with... http://uglyhill.com/d/20061006.html |
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