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| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Monday, October 9, 2006 | [[SNUG now has a wispy mustache and beard. ELI has a full, dark beard.]]
/ SNUG: How many days has it been since we shaved?
/ ELI: Seven days for me, five for you. LET'S CHECK OUR PROGRESS! / [[ELI looks in mirror.]]
/ ELI: Hrm. Nice luster, good coverage, itchiness subsiding. A good start! Snug? / SNUG:... http://uglyhill.com/d/20061009.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Tuesday, October 10, 2006 | [[Exterior of Feiffinger's Discount]]
/ Eli Kilgore (OS): I can't find the beard trimmers. Go ask somebody.
/ Snug Snugworth (OS): OK. / Snug: Excuse me, do you know where the beard trimmers are?
/ Sheila: Why? Looks like you could trim that thing on your face with a pair of nail clippers. / [[Eli is... http://uglyhill.com/d/20061010.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Wednesday, October 11, 2006 | Eli Kilgore: You were right, dude! That cashier is totally digging my beard! She wants me to have lunch with her!
/ Snug Snugworth: Nice! You are so money! / Eli: You don't mind walking home, do you?
/ Snug: Pfft! Please. I'm a big boy. Go, have fun. / Sheila: It's so cute how your prepubescent friend... http://uglyhill.com/d/20061011.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Thursday, October 12, 2006 | Hastings Kilgore: Eli, there's an intruder behind you. Move out of the way so I can strike her.
/ Eli Kilgore: No, don't! This is my new girlfriend, Sheila!
/ Sheila: Hi. / Hastings: I remain skeptical. Blink twice if she has a weapon.
/ Eli: Listen man, it's the beard. She's crazy for it! / Hastings:... http://uglyhill.com/d/20061012.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Friday, October 13, 2006 | Homeless Guy: Hey buddy, got a quarter?
/ Snug Snugworth: I'm not your buddy...Buddy. / Homeless Guy: S'matter? Don't you think I see that pathetic growth on your face, son?
/ Homeless Guy: I know yer pain. / Homeless Guy: I tried to grow a beard once. It cost me my life. Family, money, friends...all... http://uglyhill.com/d/20061013.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Monday, October 16, 2006 | Eli Kilgore: I never thought it was possible to feel so manly. I think I could strip the meat off a full-grown bear with my teeth right now.
/ Sheila: I could make jerky! / Eli: Just you and me, out in the wilderness. Nothin' but the sky above and my facial hair to keep us warm.
/ Sheila: Hey, does your... http://uglyhill.com/d/20061016.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Tuesday, October 17, 2006 | Hastings Kilgore: Two dozen voice mails for Grizzly Adams.
/ Eli Kilgore: I got a phone call?! / [[Eli listens to the phone]]
/ Snug Snugworth (on voice mail): It's me, Snug. I talked to a homeless guy on the street today, and he said that two men of such varying beard growth patterns can never be friends!... http://uglyhill.com/d/20061017.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Wednesday, October 18, 2006 | ELI: Hey, can I have fifty bucks? Sheila and I are going out to dinner.
/ HASTINGS: I hate to say it, but I liked it better when you ate at the drive-thru with Snug every night. / ELI: Eh, he's really jealous of Sheila and I. Honestly, I think I've outgrown him.
/ HASTINGS: You're MATURE now, huh? / HASTINGS:... http://uglyhill.com/d/20061018.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Thursday, October 19, 2006 | [[ELI and SHEILA are sitting in a restaurant. SNUG is staring through the window at them. His beard is still pathetic.]]
/ ELI: Uh, excuse me for a moment, Sheila. / [[Outside.]]
/ ELI: What are you doing here? I'm trying to be suave!
/ SNUG: Did you get my messages? How come you didn't shave yet? / ELI:... http://uglyhill.com/d/20061019.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Friday, October 20, 2006 | Homeless Guy: He choose the girl over you, didn't he?
/ Snug Snugworth: *SNIFF* Yeah. Now what? / Homeless Guy: Thanks to his lustrous beard, your friend has entered a new stage in his life. You, however, are doomed to stagnation... / Homeless Guy: Everything you love with wither and die, and you'll... http://uglyhill.com/d/20061020.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Monday, October 23, 2006 | [[Elliot talking to Adams in the office]]
/ Elliot Krauthammer: Adams, these price sheets needed to go out today.
/ Do I need to bring in an independent contractor on this project? / [[Adams is catatonic]]
/ Elliot Krauthammer: Johnson! / [[Johnson comes in and punches Adams]]
/ < http://uglyhill.com/d/20061023.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Tuesday, October 24, 2006 | LADWIG: I don't know, Elliott. Are you POSITIVE you need an assistant? I just requested you a new chair.
/ ELLIOTT: I'm bringing in contract workers left and right to pick up the slack! / LADWIG: Well, let's meet halfway. I'll set you up with an intern.
/ ELLIOTT: You mean like Kilgore's little... http://uglyhill.com/d/20061024.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Wednesday, October 25, 2006 | ELLIOTT: Hey, Knee-high. Do you know anyone who wants in on an internship?
/ PETER: Fat chance, SIR. I heard what you said about my pancakes. / ELLIOTT: Come on, Junior. You must know SOMEONE.
/ PETER: Well, I guess my friend Grant could use the credits. / ELLIOTT: GREAT! Give your disgusting friend... http://uglyhill.com/d/20061025.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Thursday, October 26, 2006 | ORANGE GUY: You'd better be careful. If Hastings finds out, you're DEAD.
/ PETER: He won't find out. I'm doing this for my friend. / ORANGE GUY: Yeah, but you're basically working as a talent scout for his worst enemy. Just keep it quiet.
/ PETER: Grant and I are going out for Halloween tonight. ... http://uglyhill.com/d/20061026.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Friday, October 27, 2006 | [[GRANT is in his Civil War uniform, of course. PETER wears a frilly shirt and a cape.]]
/ GRANT: Next year we will be too old to trick-or-treat. I shall ENJOY MY SPOILS.
/ PETER: Yeah. Hey listen Grant, I gotta ask you something. / PETER: This guy at work is looking for a new intern, and I thought... http://uglyhill.com/d/20061027.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Monday, October 30, 2006 | PETER: QUICK, HIDE! SENIORS!
/ GRANT: Why? They must be trick-or-treating too, right? / CUDGEL: Hey, tardcarts. Do you want me to check your candy for razor blades, or is your MOMMY gonna do that when you get home?
/ PETER: Leave us alone, Cudgel. / CUDGEL: Yeah, okay. Here, I brought you this,... http://uglyhill.com/d/20061030.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Tuesday, October 31, 2006 | [[HASTINGS, still in devil gear, watches over a fence.]]
/ HASTINGS: HM...Why did that large, ugly boy just toss Peter a roll of toilet paper? / [[ADULT is poking PETER in the face.]]
/ HASTINGS: Oh, I SEE! The older boy has just "TEE-PEED" that man's house, and he has set up young Peter and his nerdly... http://uglyhill.com/d/20061031.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Wednesday, November 1, 2006 | CUDGEL: Out of my way, creepy bush devil. I got eggs to whip at things.
/ HASTINGS: I saw what you did to those boys. You set them up to take the fall for that prank you pulled. / CUDGEL: Yeah? SO? Least I didn't push 'em down. I was gonna, you know.
/ HASTINGS: And why DIDN'T you? / CUDGEL: I... http://uglyhill.com/d/20061101.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Thursday, November 2, 2006 | [[Back at the office.]]
/ PETER: Sorry I'm late. I had to pick 700 ft. of toilet paper off 5 scres of wet grass.
/ HASTINGS: I don't know why you're apologizing to ME. / PETER: Because you're my boss?
/ HASTINGS: Not anymore. I put you in for a transfer. / PETER: REALLY?! I mean, uh...Oh yeah? Who... http://uglyhill.com/d/20061102.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Friday, November 3, 2006 | Peter Wipp: Mr. Kilgore, no, I can't be Elliott's intern! Who's going to be your intern?!
/ Hastings Kilgore: What do you care, traitor? / Hastings: You see, I know all about your little Halloween mission to recruit Elliott a new helper monkey! Well, now you found one; you! / Hastings: Lucky for him... http://uglyhill.com/d/20061103.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Monday, November 6, 2006 | [[Morning. PETER enters ELLIOTT's cubicle.]]
/ CAPTION: Monday.
/ PETER: Mr. Krauthammer? I'm here early, just like you said! HELLO?
/ UGH. What a pig sty.
/ [[It really is.]] / [[Peter climbs atop the pile of clutter on ELLIOTT'S desk.]]
/ PETER: It's so EARLY. Maybe I'll just lay down for a minute... http://uglyhill.com/d/20061106.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Tuesday, November 7, 2006 | PETER: You're living in your cubicle now?
/ ELLIOTT: Not by choice. It was my wife's idea. / PETER: Did she catch you with another woman?
/ ELLIOTT: Are you here to get involved in my private affairs, or are you here to WORK? / PETER: Oh, I'm sorry. I'm here to work.
/ ELLIOTT: GOOD. Now go to my house... http://uglyhill.com/d/20061107.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Wednesday, November 8, 2006 | HASTINGS (scarily happy): CUDGEL! My morally-deficient young ward! I hope you had a good weekend!
/ CUDGEL: Not that good. I had to take my Mom to get another abor-- / HASTINGS: Good, good! The aboriginals are a VERY industrious people! Hard-working! Now LISTEN, we've got a lot of work to do.... http://uglyhill.com/d/20061108.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Thursday, November 9, 2006 | [[PETER walks down the street, carrying a note.]]
/ PETER: All this time that jerk only wanted an intern to patch up his crummy marriage for him? That is TOTALLY not my job! / PETER: Now I'm GLAD they didn't hire Grant. He would have gotten winded and gone home to polish his fake medals by now. Where... http://uglyhill.com/d/20061109.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Friday, November 10, 2006 | GREEN COP (writing in notebook): So you know the suspect?
/ PETER: Know him? He gave me my first Indian burn in kindergarten. / GREEN COP: Ooh, those arm things? I hate those.
/ PETER: Yeah, they hurt even worse on your face. Can I talk to him? / GREEN COP (through bullhorn): WE'RE SENDING IN A... http://uglyhill.com/d/20061110.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Monday, November 13, 2006 | [[PETER and CUDGEL in ELLIOTT'S backyard. CUDGEL holds the bomb.]]
/ CUDGEL: I can't go back to prison, dude. I GOT ENEMIES.
/ PETER: Then what are you DOING here? Did Mr. Kilgore put you up to this? / CUDGEL: Yeah man, that guy's NUTS. When he looks at me with those eyes, it feels like my heart... http://uglyhill.com/d/20061113.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Tuesday, November 14, 2006 | PETER: I guess I can't beg Elliott's wife to take him back if she's out with her boyfriend.
/ CUDGEL: Who cares? You need to get out of this back yard without going to prison.
/ {{Shouldn't that be "I need to get out of this back yard without going to prison"?}} / PETER: Why would you agree to BLOW... http://uglyhill.com/d/20061114.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Wednesday, November 15, 2006 | Cudgel: I think we need to create a distraction so I can sneak by the cops. / Cudgel: Hey, an explosion is a good distraction. Look, I have a bomb! / Peter: Wait, maybe if I explain the situation to them, they'll go easy on you. / Cudgel: Yes! Brilliant! If I blow the septic tank, the cops'll be too... http://uglyhill.com/d/20061115.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Thursday, November 16, 2006 | Elliott Krauthammer: What are you doing at my house?
/ Hastings Kilgore: Waiting for my new intern to exact my terrible revenge. / < http://uglyhill.com/d/20061116.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Friday, November 17, 2006 | [[Back at the office.]]
/ HASTINGS: Well PETER, since Cudgel inexplicably quit this morning after such a successfull operation, I suppose you're REHIRED.
/ PETER: Lucky for you Mr. Krauthammer FIRED ME after he found out I couldn't fix his marriage for him. / HASTINGS: LUCKY FOR YOU!
/ PETER: LUCKY FOR... http://uglyhill.com/d/20061117.html |
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