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| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Monday, March 26, 2007 | [[PETER is horrified.]]
/ PETER (thinks): OHMYGOD, did Elliott KILL Mr. Ladwig's FATHER? The timing is too perfect to be a coincidence... / PETER: The day after I overheard him say he'll do anything for a promotion, Mr. Ladwig has to quit and take over the family business because his father died, leaving... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070326.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Tuesday, March 27, 2007 | Peter: Who kills a guy, then goes to his funeral? The nerve!
/ Pestilence: Who are you talking to? / Peter: Oh! Uh! Pestilence! Er, nobody. Oh, nuts, I left your CD in the cemetery.
/ Pestilence: S'okay, I already downloaded it anyway. So, uh... What do you want to do now? / Peter: Make out. Suck face.... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070327.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Wednesday, March 28, 2007 | [[PETER and PESTILENCE are watching ELLIOTT from behind some bushes.]]
/ PESTILENCE: Is that him?
/ PETER: Yeah, the greasy beaver-toothed guy. Look at him walking to his car. So ARROGANT. / PESTILENCE: So did he really kill a guy? What proof do you have?
/ PETER: Hm? Oh, none. But you don't know... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070328.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Thursday, March 29, 2007 | PETER: It all makes sense. I'm going in, proof or not... / PETER: Excuse me, Mr. Krauthammer. Might I have a WORD with you?
/ ELLIOTT: Make it fast, my date is getting cold. / PETER: You brought a date to a funeral?! THAT'S AWFUL!
/ ELLIOTT: Who's that in the bushes? Looks like you scored a... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070329.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Friday, March 30, 2007 | Peter Wipp: I know what you did, and I'm not going to let you get away with it.
/ Elliott Krauthammer: Come again, Titmouse? / Peter: You killed Mr. Ladwig's father, knowing full well he'd be forced to quit his job to take over the family business, leaving his position ripe for the picking! / Peter:... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070330.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Monday, April 2, 2007 | [[ELLIOTT and PETER sit on a bench while ELLIOTT smokes a cigarette.]]
/ ELLIOTT: Hey where's that chick with the pancake makeup?
/ PETER: She left when I began loudly accusing you of murder in a high-pitched girls' voice / ELLIOTT: Yeah, you're all screwed up on that. I'm not even next in line for... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070402.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Tuesday, April 3, 2007 | PETER (thinking to himself): Mr. Krauthammer's right; my loyalty to Mr. Kilgore is completely misplaced. He was awful to me! / PETER: I've accused an innocent man of murder; maligned his VERY REPUTATION, all because Mr. Kilgore planted a seed of mistrust that blossomed into a TULIP OF HATE. / [[PETER... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070403.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Wednesday, April 4, 2007 | [[PETER listens to HASTINGS' phone message. He looks happy!]]
/ HASTINGS: *BEEP* Hello, Peter, this is Mr. Kilgore calling from Blight Point. I have not yet even made contact with my own family, so I trust you will keep this communique in STRICTEST CONFIDENCE... / HASTINGS: I hope work is going well.... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070404.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Thursday, April 5, 2007 | PETER: Mr. Ladwig, thank God you're still here. I want another internship. I'll take ANYTHING!
/ LADWIG: I'm on my way out, Peter. It's my last day. / PETER: I know, but I need this. Assign me to anybody you want, I don't care.
/ LADWIG: I never thought you'd be back after that business with Elliott. / PETER:... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070405.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Friday, April 6, 2007 | [[MUDRICK and ELLIOTT chat as PETER mops in the background.]]
/ MUDRICK: Oh, you don't have to get me coffee, Elliott. You're second in command around here now!
/ ELLIOTT: It's the least I can do for our new branch manager! / [[PETER knocks away the cup of coffee with his mop.]]
/ PETER: NO! Don't... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070406.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Monday, April 9, 2007 | [[Outside Snug's house]] / Neil: Sorry, champ. No packages today.
/ Snug: DANG IT! I ordered that t-shirt WEEKS ago! Where is it? / Neil: Must be some shirt.
/ Snug: Oh it IS! It has a picture of a dog, only the dog is also a LOBSTER. / Neil: Why would you want a dog in a lobster costume on your shirt.
/ Snug:... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070409.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Tuesday, April 10, 2007 | Snug [[in kitchen]]: Bills, Bills, Bills, Greetings from West Virginia Your Uncle is Dead, Bills, Bills... Wait a second. / [[Letter fills panel]] This correspondence is to inform you that your Uncle Malachi Esekiel Hezekiah has passed, and you were named in his will. Expect delivery of your inheritance... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070410.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Wednesday, April 11, 2007 | Snug [[waiting in kitchen]]: This must be a scam. I don't even remember an uncle malachi, much less know him well enough to be named in his will.
/ < http://uglyhill.com/d/20070411.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Thursday, April 12, 2007 | Eli: Mom, I'm supposed to meet Snug at the movies in 15 minutes. Are we done shopping?
/ Mom: Quiet! I'm waiting for a checkout to open. / Eli: There's one right there, and there's no line. Come on.. / Mom [[off-panel]]: Not a chance! Look at the cashier. I don't trust him.
/ Eli [[off-panel]]: Why?... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070412.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Friday, April 13, 2007 | Eli: I can't believe you made us wait for a two-eyed cashier. That's so wrong.
/ Mother Kilgore: That Wink would have screwed up the order and you know it. / Eli: There's that word again! Mom, you can't say that! It's offensive!
/ Mother Kilgore: What? That's what we called them in my day. It's just a... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070413.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Monday, April 16, 2007 | Snug: Your Mom said the "W" word? In front of everybody?
/ Eli: Yeah, apparently my mother uses racial slurs like punctuation now. I gotta get away from her. / Snug: So? You got a job now. Just move out!
/ Eli: I can't, I promised her. Plus mail order porno isn't as lucrative as I thou-- / Eli: Oof! / Eli:... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070416.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Tuesday, April 17, 2007 | Eli: Listen, I'm sorry I bumped into you. I didn't mean anything by it.
/ One-Eyed Monster: Why don't you just give us all your money and we'll call it even? / Eli: HEY! THAT'S MY WALLET! LET GO! THAT'S ALL MY MONEY! STOP IT! RRGH! GET...OFF...MY... / Eli: WHY DON'T YOU GO BACK WHERE YOU CAME FROM YOU... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070417.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Wednesday, April 18, 2007 | Eli: Ow. Snug, are you okay?
/ Snug: Yeah. Why on Earth would you say that to those guys? / Eli: I don't know, I was scared and mad. It just...came out. What's wrong with me? Am i a closet racist?
/ Snug: No, I just think your mom is rubbing off on you. Monkey see, monkey do. / Eli: Well, I guess that... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070418.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Thursday, April 19, 2007 | [[Eli counts money and figures on a calculator.]]
/ Eli Kilgore: There's no way I'll ever have enough money to move out on my own. I guess I'm stuck with Mom.
/ Snug Snugworth: You give up too easy. / Eli: The only way I could possibly get out of my mom's house is if Hastings came back from California... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070419.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Friday, April 20, 2007 | Eli: Wait, how are we gonna get to California? We can't afford plane tickets, and neither one of us has a car.
/ Snug: While you were yammering about your mommmy issues, I didn't get a chance to tell you about my new wheels. / Snug: My uncle Whatshisname left me it to me! it has a leaky propane tank... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070420.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Monday, April 23, 2007 | [[Two sluttily dressed dirty-looking women address Hastings, who is carrying a box into his apartment.
/ Trixie: Hi! Moving in, handsome? I'm trixie, and this is roxie; we're your new neighbors!
/ Hastings: Hello, ladies. Hastings Kilgore, at your service. / Roxie: What do YOU do?
/ Hastings: I'm an obsessive... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070423.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Tuesday, April 24, 2007 | [[In Hastings office]] / Ryan (through intercom): Mr. Kilgore, Mr. Gooseberry is calling on line one for you. / Hastings: Thank you, Ryan. Put him through. / Mr. Gooseberry (over speaker phone): Mr. Kilgore! What's this I hear? You've got your entire new staff hired and trained ALREADY? / Hastings:... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070424.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Wednesday, April 25, 2007 | [[Hastings Kilgore talks sternly to Tom]] / [[Hastings Kilgore yells at Green Worker]] / [[Hastings Kilgore speaks smilingly to Purple Worker]] / [[Hastings Kilgore screams furiously at Purple Worker]] http://uglyhill.com/d/20070425.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Thursday, April 26, 2007 | Hastings Kilgore: All this motivation is making me hoarse and angry. Ryan, where's my water?
/ Ryan: H-Here I am, sir. *sniff* / Hastings Kilgore: Are you crying? Why are you crying?!
/ Ryan: You said some pretty cruel things about my family in your "pep talk"... / Hastings Kilgore: I said those things... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070426.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Friday, April 27, 2007 | [[GOOSEBERRY and HASTINGS talking outdoors.]]
/ GOOSEBERRY: I must say I'm impressed. These employees have fallen into line like cultist baby ducks.
/ HASTINGS: My methods are proven and brutal. / GOOSEBERRY: Indeed. I did note one thing that I wanted to bring up, however...
/ HASTINGS (Big, moist eyes,... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070427.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Monday, April 30, 2007 | Ned Goosebury: As much as I'd like this office to remain a boys' club, the ACLU will serve me my own tail if I don't hire at least one woman.
/ Hastings Kilgore: Vultures! / Ned Goosebury: Well, go ahead and hire one, but you know what types to avoid, right?
/ Hastings Kilgore: None of the types I know... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070430.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Tuesday, May 1, 2007 | [[Two employees are taking a smoke break. One is a big brown guy with little yellow horns, no shirt, a red bowtie and brown slacks. The other has the same coloring as PESTILENCE MORESORROW--white with dark hair and three red spots on his chin.]]
/ BROWN GUY: So, I guess Kilgore is the boss' favorite.
/ WHITE... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070501.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Wednesday, May 2, 2007 | Snugworth: Where are we, anyway?
/ Eli Kilgore: Just Outside Prehensile Creek, Ohio. / Eli Kilgore: I got Hastings' work address from his company directory, so we'll start looking there.
/ Snugworth: Wait. If you had that, why didn't you just call him? / Eli Kilgore: Because hed just refuse to come home... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070502.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Thursday, May 3, 2007 | Hastings: Bah! These applicants are overqualified! How many floors have gone unscrubbed since we started educating our women? Too many I say! / Hastings: My options are exhausted. I've been driven to America's compost heap to find a suitable female employee; the internet. / Hastings: [[types]]... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070503.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Friday, May 4, 2007 | [[HASTINGS is in the office.]]
/ HASTINGS: Oh! A response to my job posting already? DELIGHTFUL! / [[He reads from his monitor.]]
/ MESSAGE: Mr. Kilgore,
/ I am APPALLED by the requirements for the job you posted. No woman in her right mind would subject herself to such a demeaning, SEXIST employer.... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070504.html |
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