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| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Monday, May 7, 2007 | [[HASTINGS' eyes are huge.]]
/ HASTINGS: My God, this feminist harpy is stunningly beautiful! I must find out everything about her! / HASTINGS: Name: Penelope Grace Harper, Location: Ugly Hill...UGLY HILL?! Why am I still getting results from Ugly Hill?! / HASTINGS: DRAT! I must have accidentally... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070507.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Tuesday, May 8, 2007 | [[GOOSEBERRY and HASTINGS, back at the office.]]
/ GOOSEBERRY: Have you found me a female employee yet? Don't tell me I installed those cameras in the ladies' room for nothing.
/ HASTINGS: I uh, I'm sifting through resumes as we speak. / GOOSEBERRY: Ooh, you should hire THAT one! Rowr! I'd like to wrap... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070508.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Wednesday, May 9, 2007 | [[HASTINGS is sitting on the floor in his office, holding what we can assume is a picture of PENELOPE. RYAN, another employee who looks kind of fish-like, approaches nervously, holding a lunch tray to his chest.]]
/ RYAN: Y-you summoned me, sir?
/ HASTINGS: Put down the lunch tray, Ryan. The only person... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070509.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Thursday, May 10, 2007 | I can't stop thinking about Penelope. What am I going to do?
/ You did not strike me as the romantic type, sir. / Romantic? Hardly. Victim to a fatal personality flaw that causes me to be attracted to incompatible women? Unfortunately. / I'm sure there are plenty of women who are wrong for you in California.
/ I... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070510.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Friday, May 11, 2007 | Ryan: You know, Sir, I could be much further along in my career right now, if I wished.
/ Hastings: No! Impossible! / Ryan: Years ago I was offered a high-paying out-of-state job, but I opted to stay here with my girlfriend. The pay was good, but the price was too high. / Hastings: So, by choosing... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070511.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Monday, May 14, 2007 | Tom: Hey, I heard Kilgore is requesting a transfer back to the east coast!
/ Purple Worker: What? Don't tease me, Tom! / Tom: I'm serious, dude! He's in there right now with old Ned! I heard it's about a woman!
/ Purple Worker: You mean they're competing over a woman? / Tom: No no, it's some chick back... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070514.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Tuesday, May 15, 2007 | Ned Gooseberry: Another transfer? Are you kidding me? You just got here!
/ Hastings Kilgore: I know, sir, but there's this woman back home, and... / Ned Gooseberry: A woman?! You listen here, Kilgore; you're the best branch manager I've ever had, and I'm not about to let you go because of some skirt!... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070515.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Wednesday, May 16, 2007 | [[GOOSEBERRY looms menacingly over HASTINGS in a black-and-white panel.]]
/ GOOSEBERRY: I thought you and I were cut from the same cloth, Kilgore. You said work was your priority, but I guess you LIED.
/ HASTINGS: NEVER! Work is my life, Sir, I just... / [[Back to color.]]
/ HASTINGS: Well, quite frankly,... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070516.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Thursday, May 17, 2007 | Mr. Gooseberry: We're locked in, Kilgore. Now you're not going ANYWHERE until we hash this out. I don't care if it takes all ni-- / Mr. Gooseberry: HEY!
/ Get back here! You can't just leave! I OWN YOU!
/ IF I CAN'T EMPLOY YOU, NO ONE WILL! / Hastings: He's INSANE! I'll be safe if I can just get to my... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070517.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Friday, May 18, 2007 | [[Eli, eyes heavy with sleep, addresses Snug]]
/ Eli: Can you drive the rest of the way, man? I'm WIPED.
/ Snug: Just take some more caffeine pills. We're almost there. / Eli: I can't take any more of these things. They stopped working 12 hours ago, and I think my spine is humming. / [[Eli is salling... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070518.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Monday, May 21, 2007 | [[Hastings hides behind a stone wall, sweating heavily. Mr. Gooseberry can be seen silhoutted in the distance]]
/ Hastings: So c-c-cold...don't know how much longer I can hide...
/ Mr. Gooseberry:Here rogue employee! Heeeeere roguey roguey roguey! / [[Hastings is still at the stone wall, Mr. Gooseberry... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070521.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Tuesday, May 22, 2007 | [[Eli is dragging Mr. Gooseberry's battered body]]
/ Hastings: What are you two doing here?!
/ Eli: We came to take you home, whether you like it or not. / [[They are walking away]]
/ Hastings: Okay, let's go.
/ Eli: What? Just like that? / [[Snug looks disgustedly at Hastings]]
/ Hastings: Seeing as I've... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070522.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Wednesday, May 23, 2007 | Eli:So that was your boss we hit back there? Don't you think we should go help him?
/ Hastings:I think you should drive faster. / Eli:Oh, okay. Mom told me to tell you--
/ Hastings:Do we have to talk? Can't we just enjoy the scenery? / Eli: Fine. / Hastings: Faster please.
/ Eli: Shh! "Scenery"! http://uglyhill.com/d/20070523.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Thursday, May 24, 2007 | [[Mr. Gooseberry descends on Hastings and Eli's car and breaks through Hastings' window.]]
/ < http://uglyhill.com/d/20070524.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Friday, May 25, 2007 | [[Snug, Eli, and Hastings stand looking unsure. Hastings is carrying flowers and looking disheveled.]]
/ Eli:This is the address. Are you sure you want to do this?
/ Hastings:She's all I have left / [[Hastings warmly addresses a skeptical looking Penelope.]]
/ Hastings:My dearest Penelope, I have traveled... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070525.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Saturday, May 26, 2007 | [[Peter and Eli leaving an ice cream stand with ice cream cones.]]
/ Peter: So get gave up everything for a pregnant married woman, and now he's
/ blacklisted from ever getting a job anywhere ever again?!
/ Eli: Yup. / Eli: I'm still living with Mom, but she's still not speaking to Hastings, so
/ he's... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070526.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Monday, May 28, 2007 | [[At the office]] / Two-eyed character: Greetings, new employee. I drew the short straw, so I am representing the welcome wagon. Please accept this... / Six-eyed character (interrupting): Stuff it, pal. I'm outta here! You people are a bunch of racists! / Six-eyed character: Ever since I showed up... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070528.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Tuesday, May 29, 2007 | [[HASTINGS and JACKSON are standing in an office, HASTINGS in the background, JACKSON in the foreground at the copier.]]
/ HASTINGS: My lord, Jackson, you are not...not using the company copier for personal use...are you? / [[Side view of the two. JACKSON pushes the button on the copier.]]
/ < http://uglyhill.com/d/20070529.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Wednesday, May 30, 2007 | Eli: Remember high school, Snug? I really miss it now that I'm in the real world. / Snug: Yeah. Do you remember Mr. Ponch? / Snug: He said I'd never amount to a "hill of brown rice in July," whatever that meant. What a loon. / Snug: I guess I showed him... / Snug: They extended my unemployment another... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070530.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Thursday, May 31, 2007 | [[ELI and SNUG sit on the couch. ELI has a beverage and a remote.]]
/ ELI: My brother is on my case about getting a job again.
/ SNUG: Dude, I keep tellin' you to move out of Hastings' place and move in with me! I got plenty of room.. / [[They walk though the kitchen.]]
/ ELI: Thanks but no thanks, Snug.... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070531.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Friday, June 1, 2007 | [[Snug is talking to Hastings, who is sitting at a desk writing]]
/ Snug: Sometimes I think you need to relax, Hastings.
/ Hastings: I value your advice. I really do. Excuse me while I change the subject to something totally unrelated. / [[Hastings walking away while snug follows]]
/ Hastings: So how... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070601.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Monday, June 4, 2007 | Eli: How did your interviews go? / Hastings: I found one of THESE posted at every office in town. / [[Eli holding pink poster: "DO NOT HIRE THIS MAN" across top, underneath it has a picture of Hastings on the left and a description on the right: "Name: Hastings Kilgore Age:33 SS# 002-8-0813 Distinguishing... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070604.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Tuesday, June 5, 2007 | [[Hastings is dozing on a park bench]
/ Hastings Kilgore: Must find work...Must...Find...Work...ZZZZZZ.... / {{Dream cloud framed panel}}
/ Hastings Kilgore: Hey, where am I? Am I in an office? Do I have a job?! / Hastings Kilgore: Woo! I'm employed again! I'm just like everyone else! Indistinguishable... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070605.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Wednesday, June 6, 2007 | Brent Sienna: Hey Cole, Spazzy O'Spazalot is spazzing out again. Handle it.
/ Cole: What's the matter skull? Do you want a juice box?
/ [[Eli shaking and sweating]] / Hatings: Who are you people? Where am I? Who is Skull?
/ Brent: You are, Idiot. The office mascot? Childlike mythical creature? Comic relief... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070606.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Thursday, June 7, 2007 | Hastings: Why do you people keep calling me "Skull"? Skull is not my name!
/ Brent; Maybe you switched brains with someone again. Where's that magic die?
/ [[Hastings sweating, Brent looks confused]] / Hastings: magic dice incorrect monkers. Why does everyone here talk like a mental patient?
/ Brent: Let's... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070607.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Friday, June 8, 2007 | {{PVP Crossover continues.}}
/ FRANCIS: Hey Skull, Brent says you're flipping out, so he sent me to give you a "reality check".
/ HASTINGS: How so? / [[FRANCIS shows HASTINGS a mirror, which of course reflects the image of SKULL.]]
/ FRANCIS: He told me to show you this mirror.
/ HASTINGS: AUGH! NO! I'M... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070608.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Friday, June 8, 2007 | {{PVP Crossover continues.}}
/ FRANCIS: Hey Skull, Brent says you're flipping out, so he sent me to give you a "reality check".
/ HASTINGS: How so? / [[FRANCIS shows HASTINGS a mirror, which of course reflects the image of SKULL.]]
/ FRANCIS: He told me to show you this mirror.
/ HASTINGS: AUGH! NO! I'M... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070608.html |
| Brent: It's whats for dinner. | Cole: Skull ate Francis? Who's going to tell his mother?!
/ Brent: Ooh, not it! / Hastings: Your vile larvae will be regurgutated intact when you submit to my demands. I insist that you people stop treating me like a freak and start showing me some respect! / Brent: I'll stop publicly degrading you... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070611.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Tuesday, June 12, 2007 | {{PVP crossover continues}}
/ COLE RICHARDS: Okay guys, Skull is obviously going through some kind of phase, so let's just play along. Just treat him with respect and maybe hel'll regurgitate Francis. / [[HASTINGS comes up to COLE, carrying a ledger. COLE, of course, sees him as SKULL THE TROLL.]]
/ HASTINGS:... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070612.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Wednesday, June 13, 2007 | {{PVP crossover continues}}
/ [[COLE RICHARDS is hiding behind a plant in the PVP offices. BRENT SIENNA hides around the corner, holding a folding chair.]]
/ COLE: Okay, so when Skull comes around the corner, you hit him with the folding chair. Got it?
/ BRENT: No, explain it to me again, Professor. / COLE:... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070613.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Thursday, June 14, 2007 | {{PVP Crossover is just about over}}
/ [[HASTINGS wakes up on a park bench.]]
/ HASTINGS: Zzmph..Huh? Ugh, was it all a DREAM? / [[HASTINGS approaches a blue-green, scaly guy in a ballcap.]]
/ HASTINGS: Excuse me, do I look normal to you? Do you have the urge to make me the MASCOT of anything?
/ BLUE-GREEN... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070614.html |
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