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| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Friday, June 15, 2007 | {{PVP Crossover ends}}
/ [[A bright-eyed, enthusiastic HASTINGS approaches ELI.]]
/ HASTINGS: ELI! I had a nightmare in which I was a RIDICULED FREAK OF NATURE, and it provided a solution to my current predicament! / [[HASTINGS is now all colored in shades of red as he grimaces determinedly, beads of... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070615.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Monday, June 18, 2007 | Tom Wipp: Hey buddy, I just realized this is your third funeral this year. How you holdin' up?
/ Peter: I'm fine. Gramma was sick for a long time / Tom: Well, you've never really experienced death before now. I figured you might need to talk.
/ Peter: No, I'm good. / Tom: All right. Just let me know... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070618.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Tuesday, June 19, 2007 | Peter: Do you ever think about death?
/ Eli: It's a recurring theme in a lot of my favorite music. / Peter: No, real death, not the demse that comes from being crushed in the jaws of a 40ft. tall denomic warthhog. / Peter: For example: God forbid, what if your mom died? / Peter: Of course you'd be... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070619.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Wednesday, June 20, 2007 | Did you ever think about how many ways there are to die, Ollie?
/ Life is fragile, like a baby bird with osteoperosis. / Back in Portugal, my family was eaten by a fish. The I come to America to work.
/ That's awful! How did you deal with that? / Only Americans feel *entitled* to life. In my country,... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070620.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Thursday, June 21, 2007 | [[At the fast food restaurant where Hastings is working]]
/ Peter: Can I speak to Hastings Kilgore, please? It's urgent.
/ Clerk: Who? Oh, you must mean the new guy. Hey "Meat Magnet"! You got a visitor! / Hastings: Hello, Peter. / Peter: Oh, uh, I was going to ask you how to cure my depression, but... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070621.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Friday, June 22, 2007 | Peter: I'm surrounded my misery sickness and failure. How am i supposed to paint a bowl of fruit.
/ Pestilence: You used to love still lifes. / Peter: Oh, uh, hi pestilence. I usually do, but it seems so... pointless.
/ Pestilence: I know. Even the fruit is dead, ripped from its home and rotting in a... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070622.html |
| The Angst of the Banana | Art Teacher: Peter, this painting... it's unlike anything you've ever done!
/ Peter: Yeah? Whatever. / Art Teacher: It's shocking to see something this profound come out of a boy your age. You've taken a simple still life and imbued it with an almost palpable sense of despair, of unending hopelessness... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070625.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Tuesday, June 26, 2007 | [[PETER and PESTILENCE. PESTILENCE is painting a still life of a wine bottle. PETER still wears the black sweatshirt.]]
/ PETER: Mr. Gil said he wanted to show my painting to an art dealer in Maulington.
/ PESTILENCE: Really? Why? / PETER: He said he could really sense the sadness and ultimate futility... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070626.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Wednesday, June 27, 2007 | Arthur Barter: It's a pleasure to meet you, Peter. My name is Arthur Barter. Mr. Gil showed me your work, and I must say I am very impressed.
/ Peter: Whoop de doo. / Arthur: Yes, well... um, I wondered if you might like to exhibit them in my gallery. / Peter: I probably won't sell anything. And even... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070627.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Thursday, June 28, 2007 | Arthur: Your situation is not unique, Peter. Great artists have always used their dark thoughts to fuel their work.
/ Peter: Really? / Arthur: Of course! Some of our most famous works of art have been inspired by intense self-hatred, crippling loneliness, and a variety of undiagnosed mental disorders. / Arthur:... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070628.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Friday, June 29, 2007 | Peter: So I have to be miserable and paranoid to produce great art?
/ Arthur: That seems to be your pattern. The question is: is that what you want? / Arthur: Some of the greatest artists of all time got that way because they were obsessed with their craft, to the point of exluding everything else: family,... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070629.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Monday, July 2, 2007 | Arthur: You don't have to make "art" to be an artist.
/ Peter: I don't? / Arthur: There are lots of people who don't produce what people in my field would call "fine art". They're called "commercial artists". / Peter: Oh. My teacher calls them "talent whores".
/ Arthur: Ahem, well, not everyone is cut... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070702.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Tuesday, July 3, 2007 | Arthur [[From outside panel]]: My secret shame.
/ Peter: Comic books?! / Arthur: If my artist friends ever knew, they'd take away my snob license. Do you like comics, peter?
/ Peter: Yeah! / Peter: But I like newspaper comics more.
/ Arthur: Great! Why don;t you try your hand at that? / Peter: But I... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070703.html |
| Thoughts of Death | Peter: Hi, pestilence. I wanted to apologize for how I acted. Here's your sweatshirt back.
/ Pestilence: It's okay, I guess. You're not depressed anymore? / Peter: Nope! I haven't thought about death in over four hours! Well, except for just now, when I mentioned it to you to... / Peter: And now that... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070704.html |
| Get Rich Thru Comics! | Peter: See? I started drawing these comic strips. I draw one every day, and it keeps my brain focused.
/ Pestilence: These are pretty good. / Peter: When I get enough done, I'll submit them to newspaper syndicates. I'm going to make a million dollars! / Pestilence: Well, like I said, they're good... / Pestilence:... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070705.html |
| Webcomics are for the Weird | Peter: Okay, if you think my comic strip is too weird for newspapers, what am I supposed to do with it?
/ Pestilence: What about the internet? / Peter: They have comics on the internet now? / Pestilence: Yeah, and the weirder the better. This one's about farm animals, sentient vegetables, and the true... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070706.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Monday, July 9, 2007 | [[Outside the prison gate]]
/ Guard(OS): Get moving, Kilgore! Your new cell mate is waiting! / Karl Kilgore: It'll be nice to have someone to talk to. My sons haven't come to visit since I...tried to kill their mother.
/ Guard: Kids are so selfish. / Karl Kilgore: Who's my new roomie?
/ Guard: Some kid... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070709.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Tuesday, July 10, 2007 | [[Eli's father, Karl, is meeting his new cellmate Wyatt Deadman]]
/ Karl: You must be Wyatt! Nice to meet you.
/ Wyatt: Hello, my name is Wyatt Deadman. It is nice to meet you as well. / Karl: Say, your name sounds familiar. Do I know your father?
/ Wyatt: My father is long dead, sir. / Karl: Yeah? I... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070710.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Wednesday, July 11, 2007 | [[Hastings talks to his boss at the fast food restaurant]]
/ Boss: Hastings, I'm going to need you to cover Kyle's shift.
/ Hastings: What? Ridiculous! / Boss: Sorry, but Kyle is sick and I need someone to close.
/ Hastings: He and his HOODLUM friends were using my windshield as a skate ramp in the parking... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070711.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Thursday, July 12, 2007 | [[Hastings waits out the last few minutes of his shift, and is deep in thought to begin.]]
/ Hastings: Three minutes to closing... pouring rain... nobody come in, Nobody Come In! / [[We see his old boss, Ms. Mudrick outside in the parking lot]]
/ Hastings: Oh... oh holy God no! It's Mudrick! I can't let... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070712.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Friday, July 13, 2007 | [[At the burger joint, HASTINGS is approached by an unnamed co-worker.]]
/ CO-WORKER: Don't worry, man. We got her for you. No sweat.
/ HASTINGS: Got WHOM? / CO-WORKER: Your old BOSS, man. The chick who fired you.
/ HASTINGS: Miss Mudrick was my supervisor, but she did not terminate me. / CO-WORKER:... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070713.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Monday, July 16, 2007 | [[Hastings slaps a sandwich out of Miss Mudricks hands]]
/ Hastings: NO!! / [[Hastings is stomping on the sandwich]]
/ Hastings: NNG! HRK! < http://uglyhill.com/d/20070716.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Tuesday, July 17, 2007 | Ms. Mudrick: Hastings, I wish I could, but...
/ Hastings: You said I saved your life! You owe me woman! / Ms. Mudrick: I would love to give you your job back, but it's not up to me. You were fired by the owner of the company.
/ Hastings: Yes, but Mr. Gooseberry live 3000 miles away! He'll never know you... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070717.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Wednesday, July 18, 2007 | Hastings: This is it, Eli. Fast food is my career now. Ihad a small gimmer of hope last night, but it was not to be.
/ Eli: Stop moping and hurry up. Dad's expecting us by two thirty. / Hastings: That man is dead to me! I'm only going in hope my anger will briefly obscure my blinding depression.
/ Eli:... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070718.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Thursday, July 19, 2007 | Eli: So, uh Dad says he made a new friend! Right, Dad?
/ Hastings: Oh really? DId he try to kill his mother, too? / Karl: Oh no, Wyatt's parents are long dead. Probably why he turned to a life of crime.
/ Eli: What did you say he was in for? Identity theft? / Eli: Hey!
/ Hastings: This "Wyatt"... will... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070719.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Friday, July 20, 2007 | Wyatt: I'm please to hear that your son is speaking to you again, but i cannot fulfill your request. / Karl: Come on, man! I gotta come through for him this time!
/ Wyatt: I do not have any resources with which to craft your son a new identity. / Karl: Oh, I see. You want me to help you escape. What... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070720.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Monday, July 23, 2007 | Karl: Wyatt wants me to help him escape before he can steal your new identity.
/ Hastings: So why are you here talking to me? Go! Escape! / Karl: I could get in a lot of trouble. I just want to make sure we'll be square if I do this for you. / Hastings: Square? You drive a hard bargain. You did to try... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070723.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Tuesday, July 24, 2007 | Karl: Hastings! Oh thank God we found you.
/ Hastings: Do you have the stuff!? Give it! Give it! / Wyatt: Here is your new identity , Mr. Kilgore. Social Security card, Passport, etc.
/ Hastings: Thank you so much, Wyatt. You don't know what this means to me. / Karl: What about me?! I crawled face-first... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070724.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Wednesday, July 25, 2007 | Ms. Murdick: I know I owe you a favor, but are you sure this is legal? / Eli: People legally change their social security and birth certificate all the time! sign the paper.
/ Ms. Murdick: I'll have to run it by the legal dept. / Eli: No you don't. Just hire me back. No one lese here knows I was fired.... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070725.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Thursday, July 26, 2007 | Police Officer: Wel we tracked you down easy enough, Kilgore, but we never did find your partner. Can you live with that on your conscience? / Karl: So a few more identities get stolen, big deal.
/ Police Officer: Maybe Wyatt Deadman was only a petty thief before, but since he escaped we've found three... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070726.html |
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