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| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Friday, July 27, 2007 | Ms Mudrick: So, uh did you hear Hastings is back in the office today? He transferered back.
/ Elliott: He gave up his big promotion? Really? 'Cuz I heard he got fired. / Ms. Murdick: Okay, okay! He forced me to hire him back under a false identity. You're going to tell everyone arent you?
/ Elliot: Don't... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070727.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Monday, July 30, 2007 | Hastings: Hello! Hastings Kilgore's desk, Hastings Kilgore speaking. How may I direct your call? / Dr. Malcolm: Hello Mr. Kilgore, this is Dr. Malcolm at St. Doug's Hospital. It's about your grandfather. / Hastings: Oh... well why aren you calling me? Isn't my mother his emergency contact? / Dr. Malcolm:... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070730.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Tuesday, July 31, 2007 | Hastings Kilgore: Hello, I'm here to see a Mr. Hastings Slagmoore, please?
/ Nurse: Oh! Are you friend or family? / Hastings Kilgore: My name is Hastings Kilgore. I'm his grandson.
/ Nurse: A namesake! You two must be close. / Hastings Kilgore: Not really. Funny story: I actually haven't seen him since... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070731.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Wednesday, August 1, 2007 | Hastings Slagmoore: Who are you? I'll call the police! I'm pretty sure my phone dials out!
/ Hastings Kilgore: It's me, Hastings.
/ Hastings Kilgore: Your grandson. / Hastings Slagmoore: My grandson in a heartless, disrespectful cuss who hasn't visited his own grandfather in over a decade.
/ Hastings Kilgore:... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070801.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Thursday, August 2, 2007 | Hastings: So, uh, what's up? Why are you in the hospital?
/ Grandpa: Who knows? I'm an old man. Nobody tells me anything. / Hastings: So wait... you're in the hospital, and you don't even know why? That's pathetic! / Grandpa: You just wait! You'll be old someday! They'll stick you in a Godforsaken... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070802.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Friday, August 3, 2007 | Eli Kilgore: Grandpa, I came as soon as I heard! Are you okay?
/ Hastings Slagmoore: Yeah, I'm fine. Don't start menstruating all over the place, fruit salad. / Eli Kilgore: Look, you can go, I'll take it from here. Grandpa can be...difficult.
/ Hastings Kilgore: No, I'll stay. We have a lot of catching... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070803.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Monday, August 6, 2007 | Hastings Kilgore: Nine failed marriages?! I salute the master!
/ Hastings Slagmoore: You're young, yet. You'll get there. / Hastings Slagmoore: So, do you still believe all those terrible things your mother told you about me when you were growing up?
/ Hastings Kilgore: Absolutely. / Hastings Kilgore:... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070806.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Tuesday, August 7, 2007 | Eli Kilgore: Grandpa called. He's getting out of the hopital tomorrow and he wants you to pick him up. I'll do it if you want. / Hastings Kilgore: Eil, our grandfather is a hateful dried up old turd. I simply adore him.
/ Eli Kilgore: Why does he like so much? You blew him off for over a decade. / Hastings... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070807.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Wednesday, August 8, 2007 | Hastings: Here we are, Grandpa; home sweet home! i know you think flowers are fruity so I brought you a box of hammers. / Hastings' Mother: What the hell is going on here?!
/ Hastings: Mother?! I thought you were on vacation. / Hastings' Mother: I WAS, and then I came home to find a message that my... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070808.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Thursday, August 9, 2007 | Hastings' Mother: What lies are you filling my son's head with?
/ Hastings' Grandfather: Did you hear something? Sounds like a menopausal gargoyle with a case of the black lung.
/ Hastings: Can we talk about this? / Hastings' Mother: I wonder why you've chosen NOW, after I've cut you out of my will,... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070809.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Friday, August 10, 2007 | Hastings' Mom: You're after his money! You're going over my head! You know everything he says is a lie, right? I forbid you to see that man! / Hastings: He did tell me some questionable war stories... But Grandpa's doctor says he shouldn't be alone the next few days. Who's going to watch him? / Hastings'... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070810.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Monday, August 13, 2007 | [[Eli and Hastings are sitting on couch eating dinner on TV trays]] / Eli: So how's Grandpa doing? You stopped talking about him all of a sudden. / Hastings: He's fine. I've just been busy at work, that's all. I need a refill. / [[Eli and Hastings walking from living room to kitchen]] / Eli: Not... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070813.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Tuesday, August 14, 2007 | Hastings: Everywhere I go, I see reminders of Grandpa. / [[Hastings looks on as a young man helps his grandfather down the street before Hastings]] / [[Hastings sadly eyes a giant can of "8 Million Prunes" at the bulk warehouse]] / [[Hastings weeps before the television]]
/ TV: Trouble urinating? Try... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070814.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Wednesday, August 15, 2007 | [[Eli is holding an envelope. Hastings is extremely excited in the background]]
/ Eli: You got a letter. The return address is Grandpa's house.
/ Hastings: WHAT?! GIVE IT! / [[Hastings is reading the letter. We see the letter at the top of the panel]]
/ Grandpa's letter: Dear Hastings, I would like an... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070815.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Thursday, August 16, 2007 | [[Hastings is entering through a door]]
/ hastings: Grandpa? It's me. I got your letter. Mother doesn't know I'm here, so we can talk as long as you want. / [[Grandpa can be seen from behind, stooped forward in his chair]]
/ hastings: HELLO?! Oh, now YOU'RE not talking to me either? You send me a heartfelt... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070816.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Friday, August 17, 2007 | [[Eli and Hastings stand beside a covered body on a gurney]]
/ Eli: You did all you could, man. It was just his time.
/ Hastings: Uh, yeah. I guess. / [A paramedic addresses Mrs. Kilgore; she is crying and yelling]]
/ Paramedic: I'm sorry, Mrs. Kilgore. Your father is gone.
/ Mrs. Kilgore: OH, GOD, NO!... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070817.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Monday, August 20, 2007 | [[Hastings is greeting Peter who is dressed for a funeral]]
/ Hastings: Hello, Peter. Thank you for coming.
/ Peter: P-people have GOT to stop inviting me to funerals. / [[Hastings and Uncle Jeff]]
/ Hastings: Uncle Jeff, nice to see you again. I'm sorry for your loss.
/ Uncle Jeff: You too, kid. It's a... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070820.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Tuesday, August 21, 2007 | [[A lawyer is reading from a piece of paper. Mrs. Kilgore is clearly annoyed, Uncle Jeff is smoking]]
/ Lawyer: "I, Hastings Slagmoore, being of sound mind and body"
/ Mrs. Hastings: We know his name,JACKASS! Get to the good part! / [[Eli and Hastings watch from a distance]]
/ Eli: Did they read the will... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070821.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Wednesday, August 22, 2007 | [[Mrs. Kilgore sits with crossed arms, Uncle Jeff throws an arm into the air]]
/ Lawyer: "To my son, Jeff, I leave my house..."
/ Jee: WOO! REAL ESTATE! / [[Mrs. Kilgore and Jeff both look stunned]]
/ Lawyer: "And to both my children, I leave $500,000 in credit card debt" / [[Mrs. Kilgore and Jeff are... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070822.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Thursday, August 23, 2007 | Eli: I guess grandpa got the last laugh. No life insurance and $500,000 in credit card debt!
/ Hastings: He Hee...even if they sell the house it won't cover HALF of it! / Eli: Since when are YOU so happy to see mom screwed over?
/ Hastings: I'm not happy, I'm GRIEVING, and I happen to be grieving by giggling... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070823.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Friday, August 24, 2007 | [[Hastings holds his grandfather's urn]]
/ Hastings:I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to know you better, Grandpage Slagmoore. I was blinded by loyalty, but I won't make that mistake again. / [[Hastings places the urn in the bottom drawer of his filing cabinet]]
/ Hastings: I hope you can forgive me, and... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070824.html |
| uglyhill.com/d/20070827.html | [[Young Eli and Snug in a schoolyard, a young cyclops stands in the background]] / Young Snug: Mom won't take me to get the new "Thumb Stew" album 'cuz she says it's got too many swear words! / Young Eli: No Way! Lame! / [[Teenage Eli and Snug in High School, the same cyclops stands in the background]] / Teen... |
| uglyhill.com/d/20070828.html | [[Snug's house]] / Snug: I missed out on the debut of every "Thumb Stew" album in my lifetime, but I refuse to miss this one! / Eli: Why don't you just download it? / Snug: BECAUSE THE BAND IS DOING A RARE ALBUM SIGNING AT THE MUSIC STORE IN MAULINGTON THIS TIME! / Eli: Fine. What about your dead uncle's... |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Wednesday, August 29, 2007 | Eli: All right, since it's sort of my fault you have no ride, I'll take you to get
/ the album.
/ Snug: Woo! / Eli: Oh, hey Hastings. I need the car this afternoon.
/ Hastings: No Eli, I'm on my way to work. / Eli: Work? But it's Saturday morning! / Eli: Shouldn't you already be at work?
/ Hastings: My... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070829.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Thursday, August 30, 2007 | Hastings: NO!
/ Eli: Why can't you give snug a ride? It's on your way to the office. / Hastings: So is the SEWAGE TREATMENT PLANT, but you don't see me popping in every morning with an empty thermos and a bendy straw. / Eli: So giving my best friend a 20 minute ride is like drinking liquefied organic... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070830.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Friday, August 31, 2007 | Snug Snugworth: Thanks for the ride, Dude! I owe you one!
/ Hastings Kilgore: You stowed away in my trunk and rolled out when we passed the music store! / Snug Snugworth: Well, thanks for stopping to make sure I was okay.
/ Hastings Kilgore: I stopped because the polce saw you exit the vehicle and thought... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070831.html |
| Ugly Hill Comic from Monday, September 3, 2007 | Hastings: As long as I'm here, I might as well take a poke at the old bargain bin. / Snug: Ha ha! Enjoy your filthy old big band 8-Tracks!
/ Hastings: Who are you to condemn my tastes? What's the horrid group you're here to see? "Bum Screw"? / Snug: "Thumb Stew" is the best progressive/black/death/speed... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070903.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Tuesday, September 4, 2007 | Snug: My music is my life. It's who I am.
/ Eli Hastings: Music is nothing more than controlled noise. A meaningless distraction. / Snug: Whatever, dude. Enjoy your drunken 1940s crooners. Meanwhile, I'm about to get a payoff for the last two decades of band loyalty by meeting the gods of metal in person! / Snug:... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070904.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Wednesday, September 5, 2007 | Snug: What is going on? What is going on? / Store Worker: "Thumb Stew" changed their format from metal to techno. Don't you read the news letter? / Snug: No! My mother canceled my fan club member ship when they used an "objectionable stamp".
/ Store Worker: All their fans deserted them when they sold... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070905.html |
| Ugly Hill Comic from Thursday, September 6, 2007 | Blue Thumb Stew band member: I told you no one would show up.
/ Snug: You sellouts! What have you done to yourselves?! / Blue Thumb Stew band member: Look, a fan! Quick, give him a free copy of the album! He'll tell his friends!
/ Snug: You shills! I wouldn't subject my friends to this pap if ... / Snug:... http://uglyhill.com/d/20070906.html |
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