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| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Wednesday, February 27, 2008 | PETER: I'm sorry you had a bad vacation, but YOU CAN'T TALK TO MY GIRLFRIEND LIKE THAT!
/ GRANT: But she's the one who RUINED it! / GRANT: Since you two started dating, you and I haven't hung out at ALL.
/ PETER: I thought you'd understand. Besides, what about all your re-enacting buddies? / GRANT:... http://uglyhill.com/d/20080227.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Thursday, February 28, 2008 | PETER: I'm sorry you've been feeling ignored, but Pestilence and I are going to be spending a lot of time with each other from now on. / PETER: I'll try to make time for us to hang out, but YOU have to RESPECT our relationship. / GRANT: "TRY TO MAKE TIME?" Don't INSULT me! You act like I'm asking... http://uglyhill.com/d/20080228.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Friday, February 29, 2008 | PETER: Why does he have to be such a jerk! WHY CAN'T HE ACCEPT OUR LOVE?!
/ PESTILENCE: He's just lonely. You can't up and ditch him because you have a girlfriend now. / PETER: Well, I...yeah? But I really like you, and I just assumed...
/ PESTILENCE: Go spend time with your friend, Peter. I'll still... http://uglyhill.com/d/20080229.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Monday, March 3, 2008 | ELLIOTT: Kilgore, you WASTE! These price sheets are all out of whack! What have you been... / [[ELLIOTT sees that HASTINGS is fast asleep at his desk.]]
/ ELLIOTT: What the...ASLEEP ON THE JOB!? / ELLIOTT: This is UNPRECEDENTED! How can I take full advantage of this exceedingly rare golden opportunity? / ELLIOTT:... http://uglyhill.com/d/20080303.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Tuesday, March 4, 2008 | [[ELLIOTT brings a soda to the drowsy HASTINGS.]]
/ ELLIOTT: What's your damage, Kilgore? Sleeping at work? I didn't even think you slept at HOME. / HASTINGS: I've just been so TIRED these last few weeks. All I want to do is sleep.
/ ELLIOTT: Sounds like depression. Or lupus. / HASTINGS: Well,... http://uglyhill.com/d/20080304.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Wednesday, March 5, 2008 | PETER: You don't have lupus, Mr. Kilgore; You're DEPRESSED. You need to talk to someone about your problems.
/ HASTINGS: NO! I'm... I'm just IN A RUT, that's all. All I need is to keep busy, that's all... That's all. / PETER: You're saying "that's all" a lot.
/ HASTINGS (wavering): I'M JUST TIRED, THAT'S... http://uglyhill.com/d/20080305.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Thursday, March 6, 2008 | PETER: Mr. Kilgore, I overheard some of the bosses talking yesterday, and they've noticed you sleeping at your desk.
/ HASTINGS: Zhuh? ZZZZZ... / PETER:They realize you're going through a tough time right now, but if you don't snap out of this soon, they've got a whole slew of interviews lined up with... http://uglyhill.com/d/20080306.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Friday, March 7, 2008 | HASTINGS: So you say they're making their decision soon?
/ PETER: This week. If you don't stop falling asleep at work, they're going to replace you. / HASTINGS: But how do I FIX it? I sleep because I'm depressed about my divorce, but the more I sleep, THE WORSE I FEEL. / PETER: Maybe Nora would be willing... http://uglyhill.com/d/20080307.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Monday, March 10, 2008 | ELLIOTT: Bright eyed and bushy-tailed today, Kilgore?
/ HASTINGS: I've solved my problem, Elliott. I won't be falling asleep at my desk any more.
/ [[HASTINGS pops a blue pill.]] / ELLIOTT: Let me see that... NOSLEEPITOL(tm)? You're on DRUGS!? / HASTINGS: I'm not "ON DRUGS." I'm taking a PRESCRIPTION... http://uglyhill.com/d/20080310.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Tuesday, March 11, 2008 | HASTINGS: Now, you say this new drug will completely ELIMINATE the need for sleep?
/ UNICORN MUSTACHE DOCTOR: That is the idea! We feel it will increase American productivity TENFOLD! / HASTINGS: Excellent, excellent. And what if one is suffering from an EXCESS of sleep due to depression?
/ U.M. DOC:... http://uglyhill.com/d/20080311.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Wednesday, March 12, 2008 | [[HASTINGS is unsettlingly perky.]]
/ HASTINGS: Hey...Hey Eli. Guess how many days I've been awake? Three!
/ ELI: I heard. / HASTINGS: And I'm not tired at all! Every moment I'm awake feels like I just got up from a 12 hour nap. I'm consistently refreshed!
/ ELI: Your body is functioning, but what... http://uglyhill.com/d/20080312.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Thursday, March 13, 2008 | [[HASTINGS works furiously, with mounds of paper behind him, while ELI looks on, worried. HASTINGS is writing, over and over and over, "All work and no sleep makes Hastings emulate iconic scenes from 30 year old horror movies."]] http://uglyhill.com/d/20080313.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Friday, March 14, 2008 | [[A disturbingly-cheerful HASTINGS is at work.]]
/ HASTINGS: Workworkworkworkworkwork...
/ < http://uglyhill.com/d/20080314.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Monday, March 17, 2008 | [[HASTINGS sits in an armchair. He looks like hell, with huge bags under his eyes. Even his collar and tie look distressed.]]
/ CAPTION: 4:00 AM
/ < http://uglyhill.com/d/20080317.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Tuesday, March 18, 2008 | NORA: Hastings, are you in there? I haven't even done my hair for work yet. Why did you want to meet so EARLY? / [[HASTINGS, in his Nosleepitol(tm)-addled state, sees...]]
/ "OCYCLOPS BIN LADEN": DEATH TO AMERICA! DEATH TO THE INFIDELS! / HASTINGS: Okay, calm down Hastings. The most wanted man in... http://uglyhill.com/d/20080318.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Wednesday, March 19, 2008 | [[HASTINGS has been arrested! At the police station, he's being questioned.]]
/ COP: So your wife says you invited her over to talk, then opened the door and HIT HER WITH A SHOVEL? / HASTINGS: But I thought she was a TERRORIST! Listen, Officer, I'm on drugs...
/ COP: Spousal abuse AND drugs?! Well,... http://uglyhill.com/d/20080319.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Thursday, March 20, 2008 | [[NORA is talking to DETECTIVE STEWART. NORA has an icepack on her head and a bruise on her cheek. STEWART'S mug says "I (heart) bacon."]]
/ NORA: I don't get it. I was coming over to apologize, and then he goes and does THIS?
/ STEWART: Your husband is blaming the assault on a drug addiction, Ma'am. / NORA:... http://uglyhill.com/d/20080320.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Friday, March 21, 2008 | [[HASTINGS is still hallucinating.]]
/ JAIL CELL WALL: Why don't you take a nice lean up against me, cowboy?
/ HASTINGS: SILENCE, WALL! My mind...clouded by these visions...can't think straight... / VANDERBEAM {{from Kris Straub's "Starslip Crisis"}: Could you direct me to the nearest art museum?
/ HASTINGS:... http://uglyhill.com/d/20080321.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Monday, March 24, 2008 | HASTINGS: You're here for ATTEMPTED MURDER. Why would they put you in a temporary holding cell?
/ KARL: I'm getting a re-trial! / KARL: My lawyer is challenging the results of the last trial because the judge was recently committed for forcibly rubbing sausage on Swedish tourists in his basement! Isn't... http://uglyhill.com/d/20080324.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | KARL: You broke up with this girl just because she stood up to your mother?
/ HASTINGS: She did more than just "STAND UP" to her, Dad! / KARL: I don't care if she hit her with two shovels and a tire iron, she saw someone taking advantage of you and took action. That says a lot. / HASTINGS: That she... http://uglyhill.com/d/20080325.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | HASTINGS: I hate to say it, but perhaps I was too hard on Nora.
/ KARL: I'm sure you kids can work it out. / HASTINGS: I think she wanted to reconcile...but now I'm afraid that my foolishness has ruined my chances with her.
/ KARL: It's never too late for love, son. / KARL: Unless you're so emotionally... http://uglyhill.com/d/20080326.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | [[NORA sits on a bench with a cup of coffee.]]
/ OFFPANEL VOICE: Hey lady, that's my seat.
/ NORA: What? Oh! I'm sorry, I've just got a lot on my mind. / [[We see a tentacle holding a cup of coffee in the foreground.]]
/ OFFPANEL VOICE: I'm a good listener, if you want to talk about it. < http://uglyhill.com/d/20080327.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | COP: Good news, Kilgore. Your wife decided not to press charges.
/ HASTINGS (Elated): Yes! She does still love me! / COP: Well now, I don't know about all that. She left here with some guy to get coffee.
/ HASTINGS: What? What did he look like? / COP: Tall, red hair, teeth like a mutated beaver?
/ HASTINGS:... http://uglyhill.com/d/20080328.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | {{Guest strip by Erick Milliken}}
/ [[Spectacular impressionist painting of HASTINGS bellowing.]]
/ CAPTION: My friend Hastings had a great-great-grandfather who was the inventor of scientific RACISM! / He spent 70 years trying to prove that people with two eyes are genetically superior to people with... http://uglyhill.com/d/20080331.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | {{Guest strip by Joel Watson}}
/ HASTINGS: I can't wait for this wedding. We haven't seen Emily since high school.
/ ELI: I had the biggest crush on her. I don't want her to know that I'm...uh...self employed. / HASTINGS: She doesn't know what you do. You can be anyone you want.
/ ELI: I can reinvent... http://uglyhill.com/d/20080401.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | {{Guest strip: "Write-in Campaign" by Andrew Borno}}
/ [[ELI is hung over. A Christmas wreath is on the wall behind him.]] / SNUG: Ooh...my head! These holiday parties aren't worth their weight in hangovers...
/ ELI: You get home alright? / ELI: Beats me. I woke up in a shopping cart on the roof... http://uglyhill.com/d/20080402.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | {{Guest strip by Ray Merkler.}}
/ [[PETER kneels before his sensei, presenting a large carrot.]] / [[A band of monsters prepares to charge, brandishing racks of ribs, large salamis, a steak on the end of a stick and what appears to be a gyro log on a chain.]] / [[Inset, PETER scowls at them.]] / [[Holding... http://uglyhill.com/d/20080403.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | {{Guest strip by Lar DeSouza. It takes place immediately after the "2 Monsters and a Smaller Monster" storyline.}}
/ HASTINGS: We'll have to go shopping to replace the furniture my brother ruined.
/ And be "we," I mean "you."
/ NORA: I know just the place! / NORA (pouring gasoline on a pile of ruined... http://uglyhill.com/d/20080404.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | {{Unsigned guest strip.}}
/ ELI: I'm kinda surprised Chuck invited us to his wedding. I haven't seen him since graduation.
/ HASTINGS: I haven't seen him since that one last "atomic wedgie" for the road.
/ {{How does one give a wedgie to a victim who doesn't wear pants?}} / ELI: I guess he sorta picked... http://uglyhill.com/d/20080405.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | {{Guest strip by Joshua Jericho.}}
/ PETER: Hey guys! Ready to see FINAL DEATH DREAM 3?!
/ SNUG: HECK YES!!
/ ELI: "Even more Final than 2"! / PESTILENCE (offpanel): PETER! / PESTILENCE (all in shades of pink and surrounded by floating hearts): Sorry I'm late. Hey guys!...Hey? / PESTILENCE: Hellooo?... http://uglyhill.com/d/20080406.html |
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