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| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | [[PETER and HASTINGS are in the men's room. HASTINGS is making repairs to his "HARTWELL KILBURN" disguise with Scotch tape.]]
/ PETER: You took a job as Gooseberry's CAMPAIGN MANAGER?! You don't know anything about politics!
/ HASTINGS: RRGH! I know! / PETER: Plus if he ever finds out who you REALLY are,... http://uglyhill.com/d/20080515.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | [[SAMANTHA MUDRICK reacts to some paperwork PETER has given her.]]
/ MUDRICK: A LEAVE OF ABSENCE?!
/ PETER: Mr. Kilgore asked me to deliver the paperwork. / MUDRICK: I'd heard Ned had offered him a job as manager of his campaign, but given the...SITUATION, I never thought he'd accept. / PETER: I... http://uglyhill.com/d/20080516.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | LORE THE LANDLORD: ...and this is your room.
/ KARL KILGORE: Looks like there used to be ceiling beams up there. What happened? / LORE THE LANDLORD: Eh, we've had a lot of suicides in the last few months, even for a halfway house, so we yanked 'em out. / KARL: Why would anyone want to kill themselves... http://uglyhill.com/d/20080519.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | [[Exterior of the Gas 'n Bloat.]]
/ DAN THE MANAGER: And if you have any gang tattoos, you'll have to cover them up.
/ KARL KILGORE: Check. / [[KARL affixes his little name tag.]]
/ KARL: So, uh, do you employ a lot of ex-cons?
/ DAN: Convenience stores employ three kinds of people: Teenagers, stoners,... http://uglyhill.com/d/20080520.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | ELI (sipping on a soda): I'm just working at "Gas n' Bloat" so I can pay for my night classes. < http://uglyhill.com/d/20080521.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | [[ELI storms down the street, KARL a ways behind him. Everything's blue, since it's after dark.]]
/ ELI: WHO URINATES ON A LOTTERY MACHINE?
/ KARL: It wasn't ME! Some PUNK KID must have done it while my back was turned! / ELI: Dan didn't buy that story. WHY SHOULD I?
/ KARL: Because I'm your FATHER!... http://uglyhill.com/d/20080522.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | [[KARL sits on a park bench.]]
/ KARL: I really screwed up this time. Or at least Eli THINKS I did, which is just as bad. / KARL: I wish I could just PAY for his night classes, but I can't afford that.
/ HOMELESS GUY: I don't know you. / KARL: There's got to be a responsible, legal way that an ex-con... http://uglyhill.com/d/20080523.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | SNUG: Hey, you got like a million messages on your machine, man.
/ ELI: They're all from my dad. Just ignore them. / SNUG: Are you STILL mad at him? You sound like your brother.
/ ELI: Thanks to KARL, I'm out of a job and my GED is on hold until I can find a new one. / KARL (on the machine): Hey Eli,... http://uglyhill.com/d/20080526.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | ELI: Why did you drag me all the way out to the middle of nowhere? I had to take three buses and ride a fat kid on a skateboard to get here. / KARL: I wanted to prove that I've changed! Really this time!
/ ELI (rolls eyes): Look, I don't-- / KARL: And to give you THIS.
/ [[KARL hands ELI a wad of... http://uglyhill.com/d/20080527.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | [[ELI and KARL are walking down the street at night.]]
/ ELI: This seems like kind of a bad area, Dad. This is where you WORK?
/ KARL: A guy can get used to anything if the price is right. / ELI: Even getting stabbed?
/ KARL: The trick is to walk BETWEE the blades. Well, here we are! / ELI: HERE? A dirty... http://uglyhill.com/d/20080528.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | [[KARL introduces his boss, who is the hobo from the park bench in the strip from a 5/23/08.]]
/ KARL: Eli, this is my boss, Mr. X.
/ MR. X: HEY! What's with Eyebrows McFatbody? / KARL: This is my son. He's coming along with me on my route tonight.
/ [[MR. X begins digging at the top of a car battery... http://uglyhill.com/d/20080529.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | ELI: Okay, I give up. What exactly IS your new job? SPILL IT.
/ KARL: Organ harvesting!
/ SURPRISE! / ELI (little red skulls in his eyes!): Org--WHAT?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!
/ KARL: But Mr. X says I'm only retrieving organs that were harvested from HIS BODY over his sordid career as a professional... http://uglyhill.com/d/20080530.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | KARL: Okay, maybe organ harvesting's not the NOBLEST profession, but LOOK AT THIS STACK OF CLAMS! I'll be retired in a month!
/ ELI: I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT! Come on, we're going home. / KARL: Eli, NO! I can't just WALK AWAY from this!
/ ELI: HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT? Is the money THAT important to... http://uglyhill.com/d/20080602.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | KARL: I would NEVER sabotage your education, and I wanted to prove it by paying your tuition. / ELI: Well thanks, but organ harvesting should never be a means to an end. We need to get you out of this.
/ KARL: I could use this chloroform to drug my boss and escape with my eyes intact... / KARL:... http://uglyhill.com/d/20080603.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | [[KARL douses a hanky with chloroform.]] / [[KARL comes up behind MR. X.]]
/ KARL: Hey, uh Mr. X...could you smell this chloroform? I think it went bad. / MR. X: DO I LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT?
/ You probably blew your snot ALL OVER that thing! Just give me the bottle. / [[MR. X sniffs the bottle.]]
/ < |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | [[ELI is depositing a large pile of cash and a note outside the police station, to KARL's dismay.]]
/ KARL: DON'T BE A FOOL, SON!
/ ELI: This is FILTHY ORGAN HARVESTING MONEY! I'm leaving it here. I'm also leaving a note telling the police where to find Mr. X. / KARL: But how will you pay for school... http://uglyhill.com/d/20080605.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | SNUG: Your dad was HARVESTING ORGANS?! SICK!
/ ELI: His heart was in the right place. / ELI: We anonymously turned his boss and all the money over to the cops.
/ SNUG: MAN. So, signing up for your next class, huh? I thought you were broke? / [[Silent panel of ELI looking rather uncomfortable.]] / SNUG:... http://uglyhill.com/d/20080606.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | [[We are seeing the B&W original of an episode of PETER's online comic strip, "SASQWATCH 2813."]]
/ TRUNK DEADFALL (a sasquatch): Are you sure we're in the right place?
/ FLANK THE CHUPACABRA: This is where the moss oracle said we'd find the secret entrance to U.N.S.E.E.N.'s headquarters. / TRUNK: She... http://uglyhill.com/d/20080609.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | [[PETER looks dejectedly at his monitor.]]
/ PETER: ONE reader! I've been posting my comic strip online for almost a year, and I still haven't cracked ONE?! / PESTILENCE: But "Sasqwatch 2813" is a post-apocalyptic MASTERPIECE!
/ [[GRANT is also there, holding a Monster Manual.]]
/ PETER: There are... http://uglyhill.com/d/20080610.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | [[PETER is dejectedly kneading a mound of clay.]]
/ ART TEACHER: Peter, put away that comic strip, I...Hey, are you actually doing the project I assigned? / PETER: Yeah, no one was reading my comic, so I quit.
/ GLENN: You draw a comic strip? SO DO I! Ever heard of "Circus Maximus?"
/ [[GLENN has sculpted... http://uglyhill.com/d/20080611.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | [[GLENN is looking at some of PETER'S strips.]]
/ GLENN: This is good stuff! How come you only have one reader?
/ PETER: I assumed it was due to the fact that I am terrible. / BLUE FINHEAD: NAH! I'll post a link to your strip on my site, and maybe you'll get some extra traffic. / CAPTION: The next... http://uglyhill.com/d/20080612.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | GLENN: Well, I'm stumped. Your strip should be ROLLING in readers by now!
/ PETER: Hey, are these your drawing materials? / GLENN: Oh, yeah. I use heavyweight card stock and a special pen from Finland.
/ PETER: I draw on notebook paper with a ball point pen. / GLENN: Well, whatever works for you,... http://uglyhill.com/d/20080613.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | [[PETER has gotten TOM to buy him the expensive Finnish pen.]]
/ PETER: Thanks, Dad. I know this is just what I need to get more people reading my webcomic.
/ TOM: No problem, but how will anyone even know what kind of pen you're using? / PETER: Well, they won't, but they WILL notice that the professionalism... http://uglyhill.com/d/20080616.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | [[Split panel showing PETER and PESTILENCE having a phone conversation.]]
/ PETER: I can't go to the movies tonight. I need to work on my strip.
/ PESTILENCE: I thought you quit? / [[Same as first split panel.]]
/ PETER: I did, but then I upgraded my materials. Plus Glenn said I should do it in color... http://uglyhill.com/d/20080617.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | [[GLENN shows off his new Wacom tablet.]]
/ GLENN: And look, you draw right on the screen! Just got it yesterday.
/ PETER: Wow! It's awesome, Glenn. Really great! / GLENN: I bet if you got one of these puppies, you could cut your production time in HALF! / PETER: Yeah, I dunno. It's pretty expensive.
/ I... http://uglyhill.com/d/20080618.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | [[PETER and ELI are walking in the woods. PETER is frustrated.]]
/ PETER: I've upgraded all my materials, my strip is looking better than ever, and I still only have ONE READER!
/ ELI: Who cares? / PETER: If no one's going to READ it, why should I waster my TIME?! / ELI: Because you like doing it?... http://uglyhill.com/d/20080619.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | [[We're looking at a black-and-white original of PETER's webcomic, "Sasqwatch 2813." FLANK THE CHUPACABRA has been grabbed by a giant tentacle--perhaps from the "Squid Bat" shown at the beginning of this story?]]
/ FLANK: Shoot it! SHOOT IT WITH YOUR MANY GUNS! / TRUNK DEADFALL: These are just for... http://uglyhill.com/d/20080620.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | [[ELI has put on a shirt and tie and is wearing a watch. HASTINGS is holding the headpiece of his "Hartwell Kilburn" disguise.]]
/ ELI: YOU'RE NOT READY YET!? The reception's in 20 minutes!
/ HASTINGS: I have a PREVIOUS ENGAGEMENT. / ELI: We RSVP'd MONTHS ago! You can't duck our cousin's wedding;... http://uglyhill.com/d/20080623.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | GOOSEBERRY: You're well on your way to B.I.C.L.O.P.S. brotherhood, Kilburn.
/ [[GOOSEBERRY holds the diamond-tipped arrow from yesterday. It has blood on it. HASTINGS/HARTWELL has a drop of blood running between his eyebrows and his shirttail is burned.]]
/ HASTINGS/HARTWELL: O-on my WAY, sir? / GOOSEBERRY:... http://uglyhill.com/d/20080624.html |
| Ugly Hill- A Daily Comic Strip by Paul Southworth | HASTINGS/HARTWELL: This is IT! After hours of humiliating initiation rituals, I'm almost a member of B.I.C.L.O.P.S.! / HASTINGS/HARTWELL: I only wish I could be inducted under my true identity instead of in this fraudulent and itchy disguise.
/ [[He scratches his nose and chin.]] / [[He grins broadly.... http://uglyhill.com/d/20080625.html |
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