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| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Monday, December 19, 2005 | Hastings: All RIGHT! I will find your son in time for Christmas morning. Stop hitting your cat with the phone! / Phone: < http://uglyhill.com/d/20051219.html |
| The Price of Entry | Hastings: I have obtained the correct attire, per your advice. May I enter now?
/ Doorman: Where's your tats, man? I don't even see any piercings. / Hastings: "Piercings"? I don't... um, I've been told that I have a "Piercing Glare". / [[Hasting's glasses/eyes turn red as he glares at the doorman.]] / Doorman:... http://uglyhill.com/d/20051220.html |
| Making friends with Crockett Eighstadt | Eli: Crockett Eichstadt! I can't belive it's really you!
/ Crockett Eichstadt: Oh, bloody sausage. Do you have back-stage passes? / Eli: Yeah! We wone them in a radio contest!
/ CE: We prefer to save those for women. Attractive women. Are either of you an attractive woman? / Eli: No, but I'm a big fan!... http://uglyhill.com/d/20051221.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Thursday, December 22, 2005 | ELI: That hat's been in Crockett's family for generations! His great great grandfather wore it the night he installed the very first whammy bar on his BANJO!
/ SNUG: Look, it's just DUMB, okay? And I'm not afraid to say it. / SNUG: Eli, these guys are SOFT. They've been playing god-awful thrash metal... http://uglyhill.com/d/20051222.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Friday, December 23, 2005 | Hastings: There is someone in that concert I need to retrieve. His mother insists, and she is very loud.
/ Doorman: Look who's back. / Doorman http://uglyhill.com/d/20051223.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Monday, December 26, 2005 | [[Eli, Snug, and Hastings are chained to a dungeon wall]]
/ Hastings:This is your fault, Snugworth. You should not have insulted that man's comically ridiculous hat.
/ Snug:Oh come on! The man wears a coonskin cap! In a heavy metal band! / Eli:How is that any more stupid than what they made Hasting wear... http://uglyhill.com/d/20051226.html |
| Family Maters! | Crockett Eichstadt: You got a family, pinky?
/ Snug: Y-yes sir, I live with my mother. / Crockett: Good. You see this hat? The one you insulted? It's the only thing I have left to remember my family... / Crockett: My father gave it to me on his death bed, as his father did to him. Most people don't... http://uglyhill.com/d/20051227.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Wednesday, December 28, 2005 | [[SNUG winces as CROCKETT prepares to swing the axe at him.]]
/ SNUG: I guess this is it. I'll be missing Christmas with Mom after all.
/ CROCKETT: BLOODY HELL! In all the excitement and pummeling, I forgot it was CHRISTMAS! Crikey! / CROCKETT (Now smiling and facing another character not chained up):... http://uglyhill.com/d/20051228.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Thursday, December 29, 2005 | [[Eli and Snug walk down the snowy sidewalk after escaping their imprisonment at the hands of Skulldrift]]
/ Snug: It's almost 11 AM. I'd better get home and spend some of Christmas with my mom.
/ Eli: Sorry I made you late. / Snug: Well, if it wasn't for my attitude, we wouldn't have gotten locked up... http://uglyhill.com/d/20051229.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Friday, December 30, 2005 | Snug Snugworth: Five! < http://uglyhill.com/d/20051230.html |
| Child Labor Laws | Hastings: Peter, these sales reports are taking longer than I expected.
/ Peter: Oh good, you'll get to stay late. You always enjoy that. / Hastings: As much as I would like to do it alone, I cannot realistically complete it in time. You will have to stay late.
/ Peter: Oh, No! Please Mr. Kilgore, it's... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060102.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Tuesday, January 3, 2006 | Peter: What are you doing here? I thought you had sales reports to finish.
/ Hastings: We do. If I can't make you stay late, I'll have to bring the work home to you. / Peter: What?
/ Hastings: You must learn, Peter. You will never make it in the business world unless you are willing to sacrifice. / Peter:... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060103.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Wednesday, January 4, 2006 | Peter: Mr. Kilgore, this is my dad, Thomas Wipp. Dad, this is my boss, Mr. Kilgore.
/ Hastings: Good evening Mr. Wipp.
/ Thomas Wipp: Hey! Call me tom! / Peter: Mr. Kilgore couldn't make me stay late at work, so he decided to bring the work home to me.
/ Thomas Wipp: Ha! A real slave-driver, huh? Well,... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060104.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Thursday, January 5, 2006 | Hastings: Blast. / Hastings: Mr. Wipp, do you have a staple remover? I seem to have left mine at the office.
/ Thomas Wipp: Could you two wrap it up soon? Our show is almost on. / Hastings: Ahem... Mr. Wipp, your son is assisting me with some very important paperwork. Don't you think that supercedes... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060105.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Friday, January 6, 2006 | Hastings: Peter, I am astounded! While I was looking for a staple remover, I found your books! I must be rubbing off on you more than I thought!
/ Peter: What books? / Hastings [[From off panel]]: The entire "Dr. Prod Roberts Business Collection"! I've based my life on this man's teachings!
/ Peter [[From... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060106.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Monday, January 9, 2006 | Hastings: Peter, your father cannot be the famous business genius Prod Roberts! He looks nothing like him!
/ Peter: He wrote those books under a pen name. / Hastings: But... I based my entire life on these books! I read a passage from one volume at my third wedding! / Hastings: Peter, I must speak with... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060109.html |
| The Important Things In Life | Thomas Wipp: All right Mr. Kilgore, you caught me. I wrote those business books under a pen name a long time ago.
/ Hastings: But... these books are so... brilliant! And look at you... you're so... / Thomas Wipp: Hastings... may I call you Hastings? Hastings, I used to be a very different man... / Thomas... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060110.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Wednesday, January 11, 2006 | Hastings: You threw away your entire career as an author and businessman? For this?!
/ Thomas Wipp: Well, it was a lot nicer before my wife left. / Peter: After mom left, dad decided to quit his job and live off his savings to spend more time with me.
/ Hastings: Rrgh! My entire life is based on a lie! / Thomas... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060111.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Thursday, January 12, 2006 | Eli: Peter's dad ghost wrote all those insiprational business books under the name Prod Roberts? Small world, huh?
/ Hastings: Small and cruel. / Hastings: What does it say about the advice in those books if the man who wrote them gave up on life?
/ Eli: Sounds like he finally started living his life... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060112.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Friday, January 13, 2006 | [[Hastings stares at a telephone. No Dialog.]] / Operator [[Over the phone]]: Directory assistance. How may I help you?
/ Hastings: Do you have a listing for "Karl Kilgore?" / Operator [[Over the phone]]: No, Sir.
/ Hastings: Look under "Manipulative Fathers who've driven away their eldest sons". / Operator... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060113.html |
| Snow Removal | Television News Anchor: ... and it looks like Ugly Hill is in for a whiteout tommorow as a severe winter weather alert has been issued for Maulington County and surrounding areas. Let's go to R.J. for the weather. R.J? / Snug [[Into the phone]]: Yeah Mom, I heard. I'm coming home to clear the walk right... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060116.html |
| Communication Barriers | Eli: Oh, hi Mrs. Mendoza! I was just going out to shovel the walk, as per our lease agreement!
/ Mrs. Mendoza: Eh? / Eli [[Thought Bubble]]: Oh man... I forgot if Mrs. Mendoza is hard of hearing, senile, or just doesn't speak english. / Eli [[Thought Bubble]]: Well, either way... / Eli: You smell like... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060117.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Wednesday, January 18, 2006 | Mr. Ladwig: Where are you going so early?
/ Elliott: Home. Before the snow gets too bad. / Mr. Ladwig: Wait, didn't I see you drive through a snow drift last week to get to a better parking spot? / Elliott: Yeah, but my wife took the SUV today because of the storm and left me with the stinkin' hatchback!... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060118.html |
| Business as Usual | Fausto: Hello! Welcome to Fausto's! How may I help you?
/ Samantha Mudrick: Whew! I'm so glad you're open! I thought you'd be closed early. / Fausto: No! Snowstorm is busiest time of year! People need bread and milk!
/ Samantha: You must be getting a lot of competition from the big chain supermarkets. / Fausto:... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060119.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Friday, January 20, 2006 | Eli: Come on, man. The storm's over. Let's go get some lunch. / Snug: I can't... it's everywhere. / Eli: No man, they cleared all the snow away. they even put down s-- / Eli: Oh. / Eli: You know, I once salted a man in reno just to watch him die.
/ Snug: Shut up and lift! I'm sizzling like a fried... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060120.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Monday, January 23, 2006 | Bully: Ha Ha! Eating alone again, bowl-cut?
/ Peter: I'm waiting for a friend. / Bully: But you're too short to have friends! I can barely see you right now! hey where'd you go?
/ Peter: Better get out of his seat. He'll be here any minute. / Grant: Might I inquire as to why your buttocks occupy a seat... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060123.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Tuesday, January 24, 2006 | Grant: Pay no mind to these stragglers! Why, had I the inclination, I would buck and gag the shirkers from here to the border states, I would!
/ Peter: Stop it! / Peter: Grant, why do you have to wear that civil war stuff to school? it's embarrassing! And stop talking like that! Talk like a normal person!
/ Grant:... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060124.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Wednesday, January 25, 2006 | Grant: You know peter, the UGTA is having our annual banquet tonight, and...
/ Peter: No way Grant. I told you before. No. / Grant: Come on, the Ugly Hill Train of Artillery could use another strong, able-bodied soldier to beat back the southern separatist menace! / Peter: You don't fight anybody, grant.... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060125.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Thursday, January 26, 2006 | Nameless thug: HA! DORKS! Grant: Pay him no mind, Peter. I shall pray on the morrow that he will contract the dysentery. / Peter: I don't know how you put up with those jerks. Grant: There are more important things than the approval of your peers, Peter. / Grant: Like the history of our great... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060126.html |
| You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Friday, January 27, 2006 | PETER: Hey Trent, you guys got a reenactment today, huh?
/ TRENT: You bet! Here's your uniform!
/ [[TRENT hands PETER a brown paper bag.]] / GRANT: NO, YOU FOOL! I HAVEN'T ASKED HIM YET! / GRANT: Peter, we're one man short today. Would you mind...filling in?
/ PETER: Grant, I don't want to join your... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060127.html |
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