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You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Monday, January 30, 2006	[[After the reenactment, GRANT and PETER are dirty and spattered with fake blood--but happy.]] / GRANT: So, how did you enjoy your first reenactment, Peter? You died exceptionally well! / PETER: You know what? It was fun! / PETER: Kind of like playing war as a kid, but with authentic weapons and no... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060130.html
You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Tuesday, January 31, 2006	Eli Kilgore: You...You joined what?! / Peter Wipp: The "Ugly Hill Train of Artillery". They do civil war re-enactments and st-- / Eli Kilgore: I KNOW what they DO, Peter. WHY OH WHY DID YOU DO THAT?! / Peter Wipp: Well, at first I thought it was pretty dumb, but a bunch of my friends are doing it, and... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060131.html
You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Wednesday, February 1, 2006	Eli: THIS is how you want to spend your weekends, dude? Dressed in six layers of wool cleaning the inside of a cannon with a toothbrush? / Peter: It's not all firearm maintenance and boot polishing, Eli. / Eli: Peter, take it from someone who knows. Stuff like this is social suicide! You'll never live... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060201.html
You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Thursday, February 2, 2006	ELI; THANKS FOR MEETING ME, PETER. I HAVE SOME PEOPLE I WANT YOU TO MEET. / PETER; OKAY, BUT TODAY IS MY DAY TO ORGANIZE THE GUN-POWDER BY EXPLOSIVITY. / ELI; YEAH, ABOUT THAT. I KNOW YOU'RE ALL INTO THIS CIVIL WAR REENACTING NOW, BUT HAVE YOU THOUGHT OF YOUR SOCIAL LIFE? / ELI; AS YOU KNOW I WAS ON... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060202.html
You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Friday, February 3, 2006	Eli: I wanted you to meet a couple of my old bowling team buddies so you could make an informed decision about officially becoming a "nerd." / Eli: Meet "Duck Pin Tommy Fvamba," who has superstitiously licked filthy bowling balls every game since he saw that one guy do that in that movie he saw. / / Eli:... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060203.html

You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Monday, February 6, 2006	PETER: I want to quit, Grant. It's not personal, I just realized that Civil War reenacting isn't for me. / GRANT: LA LA LA LA LA! I'M NOT LISTENING! / GRANT: Did the Confederacy get to you, Peter? Are you defecting to those damn dirty Dixie degenerates?! / PETER: NO! I just...Listen, are you letting... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060206.html
You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Tuesday, February 7, 2006	they're not letting me quit, eli. i guess i'd better go get ready for the next reenactment. / no way dude. hey guys! plan b! / duck pin tommy. gutterball barney! rental shoes colbert! why are all your old bowling buddies dressed like confederate soldiers? / because we're fighting for your freedom, peter.... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060207.html
You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Wednesday, February 8, 2006	ELI; THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE, GRANT. ARE YOU GOING TO LET PETER QUIT YOUR CLUB OR NOT? / GRANT; NEVER! I'D SOONER SHOOT HIM MYSELF THAN SEE HIM DESERT HIS COUNTRY! / ELI; FINE, HOW ABOUT A FRIENDLY WAGER, THEN? WE'LL REENACT THIS BATTLE WITH YOU. IF WE WIN, PETER'S FREE. / GRANT; FOOL! YOU'RE WEARING... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060208.html
You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Thursday, February 9, 2006	Grant: Peter, why am I currently facing off against an army of faux-Confederate bowlers for your freedom from the reenactment society? I thought you liked us. / / Peter: I do, it's just... well, I feel like a jerk saying it, but I was afraid people would think I was a dork. / Grant: I'm disappointed in... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060209.html
You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Friday, February 10, 2006	Peter: Here, Grant's mom asked me to give you this. / Eli: A court summons? She's suing me? For what?! / Peter: You broke both of her son's ankles with a bowling ball. / Eli: Pfft! Yeay, fat lot of good it did, too. After all that, you decided to stay in his stupid little geek club. / Peter: I'm sorry,... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060210.html

You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Monday, February 13, 2006	Maria: Where's your little paper mailbox, Mr. Kilgore? / Hastings: My mailbox is on my house, Maria, and it is made of metal. Paper mailboxes are impractical, as they are easily ruined by precipitation. / Maria: No, I mean for Valentine's Day! You're supposed to put a pink paper envelope on your desk... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060213.html
You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Tuesday, February 14, 2006	HASTINGS (big pink eyes): EXCELLENT! I have received another valentine! / PETER: Um, WHAT? / HASTINGS: I mean uh...this WORK-RELATED...MEMO. Which I will now...READ. / HASTINGS: "My Dearest: I BURN for you. I can barely stand working alongside you anymore, your smell is so intoxicating. Meet me... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060214.html
You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Wednesday, February 15, 2006	PETER: I got so many valentines! Everybody around here is really nice. Well, except for you. / HASTINGS: HUH? Oh, right. Um, go to hell. / PETER: Still reading that steamy love note, huh? Did you figure out who it's from yet? / HASTINGS: No, and I've tried everything! DNA, fingerprints... / PETER:... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060215.html
You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Thursday, February 16, 2006	PETER: Bye, Mr. Kilgore, I'm going home. Did you decide what you're going to do about your secret admirer yet? / HASTINGS: Same thing I do every night, Peter... / PETER: Try to take over the world? / HASTINGS: NO. I'm going to work six hours late, go home, and not meet ANYONE in the parking lot. / PETER... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060216.html
You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Friday, February 17, 2006	[[HASTINGS reads the note again.]] / NOTE: My Dearest: I burn for you. I can barely stand working alongside you anymore, your smell is so intoxicating. Meet me in the parking lot after work today if you're interested. Love, Your Secret Admirer." / [[Silent panel of a wistful HASTINGS.]] / HASTINGS:... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060217.html

You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Monday, February 20, 2006	HASTINGS: YOU...sent this note...to ME? / ELLIOTT: NOTE? I don't know anything about a NOTE! / HASTINGS (reddening): You...sent this LOVE NOTE...asking me to meet you here...for... / ELLIOTT: Okay, OKAY, I wrote it, but... / HASTINGS (blood-red!): YOU "BURN FOR ME?" YOU FIND MY SMELL "INTOXICATING?" / ELLIOTT:... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060220.html
You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Tuesday, February 21, 2006	ELLIOTT: Hastings, I DID write that love note, but not for you! I must have put it in the wrong mailbox! / HASTINGS: I see. But as you know, office fraternization is strictly forbidden. / ELLIOTT: So is bludgeoning a co-worker in the break room, so I think we're even. Now give me back the note. / HASTINGS:... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060221.html
You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Wednesday, February 22, 2006	HASTINGS (thinks): DAMNATION! I made a complete FOOL of myself! I cannot believe that love note was from Elliott, of all people! / HASTINGS (still thinking): I COULD report his attempted office fraternization to Mr. Ladwig...but then he'd report me for mauling him!! CURSE MY LIGHTNING-QUICK TALONS... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060222.html
You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Thursday, February 23, 2006	ELLIOTT: By the way, Hastings, you haven't, uh...TOLD anyone about that love note, have you? / HASTINGS: Of course not, Elliott. / Of COURSE not. / ELLIOTT: GOOD! That's good, because you know, I decided not to deliver that note ANYWAY, so it really would be a moot point to spread around that...um... / [[HASTINGS... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060223.html
You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Friday, February 24, 2006	HASTINGS: It is a beautiful day, Peter. / PETER: WHAT? It's hailing balls of ice as big as my HEAD out there! / [[ELLIOTT is wet and has a giant hailstone on his head.]] / ELLIOTT: Okay, Hast--I mean, MR. KILGORE. I hand-carved fresh treads in your tires, Scotch-guarded the exterior of your apartment... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060224.html

You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Monday, February 27, 2006	Keziah Swearengen: GOOD MORNING! Is Mrs. Snugworth available? / Snug: Lady, it's like ten in the morning. You're gonna have to talk slower, softer, and simpler. / Keziah Swearengen: My name is Keziah Swearengen, and I'm from the Ugly Hill Historical Preservation Society. We wish to speak with your mother... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060227.html
You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Tuesday, February 28, 2006	Keziah Swearengen: Good evening, Mr. Snugworth. Is your mother home? / Snug: Maybe. Who wants to know? / Keziah Swearengen: Keziah Swearengen? From the Preservation Society? We spoke this morning. / Snug: Oh, uh, right. Well, she is indisposed, but I can speak for her on matters of...preservation...I... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060228.html
You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Wednesday, March 1, 2006	Keziah Swearengen: So you see, your mother's property is a historical landmark. / Snug: WOW! Really? / Snug: You mean the founder of Ugly Hill may have stood RIGHT HERE, or over by there by that old refrigerator? / Keziah Swearengen: Um...yes, and that is my issue. Look around, this property is a disgrace!... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060301.html
You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Thursday, March 2, 2006	Snug: My uncle Rusty was a historian, and he told me the truth about the SCUMBAG founder of this STINKIN' town. / Keziah Swearengen: I don't suppose you have proof? / Snug: One night when Rusty was cleaning the toilets, he found some hidden incriminating evidence against him. / Keziah Swearengen: Why... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060302.html
You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Friday, March 3, 2006	Keziah Swearengen: So, what else did your uncle tell you about our founder? / Snug: He cornered the museum director and blackmailed the whole story out of him. / Snug: Now, you see, my Uncle Rusty doesn't have the best attention span, so it's not an exact account. He usually can't pay attention to any... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060303.html

A Cure for Scurvy	[[Caption: June, 1652]] / Cutty Hackett Gosnold: Well, no wonder we haven't reached the new world yet! What's your problem, boy? / Sailor Boy: I don't feel well, Cap'n Gosnold. I'm so weak and me skin is all spotty. / Cutty: You're in luck seaman! Appears that you've got a touch 'o the scurvy, and I've... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060306.html
The Free Trade Aggrement	Cutty Hakett Gosnold: Here we are, men! Did I tell you? The new bloody world! / Sailor: Aww, Cap'n! You said there'd be rivers of whiskey and trees with naked ladies growin' on 'em! / Sailor 2: Cap'n Gosnold, look! Up on the ridge! Savages! / Cutty: Shh! Quiet now! No sudden movements! Just go up there... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060307.html
Homesteading	Snug [[Caption]]: It wasn't long before Gosnold ran into problems developing the land he'd just purchased from the natives... / Gosnold: What is that smell?! / Snug [[Caption]]: ...like a forest full of unusually aggressive predators... / Headless Sailor: Gurk! / Snug [[Caption]]: ...barren farmland... / Snug... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060308.html
You get what you pay for	Cutty Hakett Gosnold: What do you mean everything is poisonous? What about the fish? / Sailor: Very poisonous. / Cutty: No wonder we got this place so cheap! Look at it! Barren land, vicious animals... and what is that smell?! / Sailor2: Maybe them savages wasn't as dumb as we thought they was, Cap'n. / Native... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060309.html
You Are Reading the Ugly Hill Comic from Friday, March 10, 2006	KEZIAH: Mr. Snugworth, if your story is accurate, our founder was one of history's most INEPT EXPLORERS! / SNUG: And a huge jerk, don't forget. HUGE JERK. / SNUG: So that means you're not interested in my Mom's house anymore, right? / KEZIAH: Hold on, hold on...This could make the story even MORE interesting! / KEZIAH:... http://uglyhill.com/d/20060310.html

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