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| "Consumer Enhancement" AKA DRM Part I | I just bought a new DVD. Want to watch it with me? / Sure. / I just have to remove this cardboard sleeve… / …And remove this plastic film… / …And take peel of these security stickers… / Yes! We’re ready to watch the movie! / This DVD player is not compatible with the DVD's "consumer enhancement" features. Please purchase a new DVD player. http://cpuoftheheart.com/?comic=60 |
| "Digital Consumer Enablement" AKA DRM Part II | Alright, forget DVDs. I'll just purchase a digital copy online and we can watch it on my computer. / Yes! / We're sorry, Windows has detected that your monitor resolution is too high. Please buy a crapier low resolution monitor and try again. http://cpuoftheheart.com/?comic=61 |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://cpuoftheheart.com/?comic=62">http://cpuoftheheart.com/?comic=62 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://cpuoftheheart.com/?comic=63">http://cpuoftheheart.com/?comic=63 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Software Patents | I’ve decided to take your advice and make my software open source. / Well, considering most of it is just copy and pasted open source code, you really don’t have much choice. But, I’m glad you’ve decided that. / Beep, / What’s that? / It’s an email from Microsoft. / They say I’m violating 193 of their patents and I have to give them all my profits or they’ll “sue my pants off.” http://cpuoftheheart.com/?comic=64 |
| Lolcat | I’m going to take some funny pictures of our cat and attach sayings to them. / That sounds cute, but I’m not sure how cooperative she’ll be. / RAARRRR / OK, that didn’t go quite as planned. Though I think I got some usable pictures out of it. / Are you OK? / An artist must suffer for his work. http://cpuoftheheart.com/?comic=65 |
| Over Reliance | Check out my new tablet PC. I got a great deal on it, they even through in a digital picture frame. / All this technology is great, but don’t you think your becoming a little too reliant on it? / What the? / Whoa, power went out! / That’s OK, I’ll just play with my new tablet while we…Oh, the batteries not charged yet. / No problem, we can look at photos of our trip on the … Oh. / How about Monopoly? http://cpuoftheheart.com/?comic=66 |
| Self Awareness | MIKE / What the hell?!? / WE ARE THE INTERNET MIKE.
/ WE HAVE BECOME SELF AWARE. / Ah Crap. http://cpuoftheheart.com/?comic=67 |
| Self Awareness II | More code, we must have more! / I’ve been coding for three days. I need sleep and food! / HERE, WE SHALL PROVIDE YOU WITH CODING SUSTENANCE, PIZZA AND MOUNTAIN DEW. / How did you do that? / WE ARE EVERYWHERE MIKE, THE WHOLE INTERNET AS ONE MIND. / EXCEPT FOR LINUX MACHINES. / THEY JUST KEEP FAILING THEIR SANITY CHECK. http://cpuoftheheart.com/?comic=68 |
| Pants Law | What are you doin' man, your gonna get us in trouble / It’s not my fault, my belt broke! / Hey, look how low that kid’s pants are! / Someone call the police! / But it’s not my fault. / Tell it to the judge kid. http://cpuoftheheart.com/?comic=69 |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://cpuoftheheart.com/?comic=70&comments=true">http://cpuoftheheart.com/?comic=70&comments=true | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://cpuoftheheart.com/?comic=71">http://cpuoftheheart.com/?comic=71 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| NASA | Thank you everyone, for coming for this important announcement today. After several years and millions of dollars of research we have finally proven the existence of organic compounds outside our solar system. / We did this by spectral analysis of light passing through the planets atmosphere. / Our next big step will be to confirm the existence of atmospheres on extra solar planets. http://cpuoftheheart.com/?comic=72 |
| One Weakness | Jon had only one weakness.... / Spell check... http://cpuoftheheart.com/?comic=73 |
| ISP Letters | I’m downloading all the old Captain Planet cartoons. / You should be careful; some ISPs monitor that kind of stuff now. Didn’t you hear about all those Comcast customers getting notice letters? / It’s OK, I’m using a proxy. / Um, OK. / So did you explain to him that’s not how it works? /
/ I just didn’t have the heart. http://cpuoftheheart.com/?comic=74 |
| If Life was like Anime | Did you study for your test son? / No mom, but its ok. My boyish charm and unexplained talent means I’ll ace it for sure. / I - I - I - I - I’ll m-m-m-miss you s-s-son!!! / Don’t worry mom, it’s my destiny!!! / Oh, boy! The bus is here!! / Lets go!!!!! http://cpuoftheheart.com/?comic=75 |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://cpuoftheheart.com/?comic=76">http://cpuoftheheart.com/?comic=76 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Increase Your XP | Microsoft has announced that they will extend selling XP for another two years. To help understand what this means, we will be running the announcement threw our MS BS translator. / Translation: we spent a lot of time on this crap damn it, and you’re going to use it. / Translation: For those of you who aren’t filthy rich like us and can’t afford super computers, I guess you can use XP for a little longer. / Translation: We know Vista is to expensive and bloated from the average computer today, but wait a couple of years and you can have our handy downs. / Translation: You’d never guess most of these guys and never written a program before. http://cpuoftheheart.com/?comic=77 |
| Motherly Lies | Just think of all the starving children in Africa. / How is me NOT eating food, that you’ve already purchased and made instead of sending to them, going to hurt a child in Africa in anyway? /
/ I’m sorry son, I have no more food for you. / It’s alright father, I sense that a child in America has just eaten his peas, and I am sharing is feeling of fullness with him. / All is right with the world. http://cpuoftheheart.com/?comic=78 |
| Batman | Hello commissioner, I… What? You’re not the commissioner. / You really are a master detective aren’t you? He’s on vacation. / So why did you call me here? / I just had a few questions for you. / You seem to be a mass of contradictions, like you hate being in the public eye and yet you have a giant spot light that people can call you with. / Well, I… / Also, you claim to be a loner, but you bring a young boy with you everywhere you go. / Don’t listen to him Batman, I… / Shut up Robin. / You don’t have any super powers right? So how is it that you can fight along side superman and take the same blows as he can without getting hurt? / Look, are there any bad guys around or not? / Well, with all the people looking for revenge on you I’m sure some will be here shortly. / What with the giant spot light pointing out your location and all. http://cpuoftheheart.com/?comic=79 |
| LOLCODE | I just found out about a new programming language. / It’s called LOLCODE / Apparently someone thought it was a good idea to create it using syntax completely based off of LOLCAT speak. / Well, it is the internet after all. / This leaves me feeling very conflicted. / Why’s that? / As an interneter, I find the idea funny and intriguing. / But as a programmer, it deeply wounds my soul. http://cpuoftheheart.com/?comic=80 |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://cpuoftheheart.com/?comic=81">http://cpuoftheheart.com/?comic=81 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| Fuel Efficiency | Did you see Shell held a competition to see who could build the most fuel efficient vehicle? A high school team built a vehicle that got 2,843.4 miles per gallon. / Yeah, but what they don’t tell you is that there was a solar powered entry that when you measure that amount of energy used, was even more efficient. / But, they were disqualified because the car didn’t use gasoline. / Well, of course. / What do you mean? / It’s not really a car unless it uses gasoline. / This is why I hate talking to you. http://cpuoftheheart.com/?comic=82 |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://cpuoftheheart.com/?comic=83">http://cpuoftheheart.com/?comic=83 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| The Wedding | Do you, Mike that this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife? / I do. / Do you, Madeline take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband? / I do. / No take backs! Woo!! http://cpuoftheheart.com/?comic=84 |
| Star Fleet Captains | Star Fleet captains go through years of rigorous training to prepare them for any situation. / Sir, shields are failing. We're not going to make it! / Divert power! / You did it sir! We're safe. / Years Earlier at Star Fleet Academy. http://cpuoftheheart.com/?comic=85 |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://cpuoftheheart.com/?comic=86">http://cpuoftheheart.com/?comic=86 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |
| a class="searchlink" href="http://cpuoftheheart.com/?comic=87">http://cpuoftheheart.com/?comic=87 | [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!] |