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Linty Goodness 1: Look what I bought for a dollar. / 2: Is that the lint from the dryer? / 1: No, it's a... / 1: Ah crap, I've been swindled.
Bedsheets *child floating in a sea full of fish* / When I was a kid, I had blue bedsheets with fish on them! / I'd pretend I was swimming in the ocean while I fell asleep! / *child floating over plaid* / Now, my bedsheets are plaid. Swimming in a plaid ocean is not as much fun.
Existential Freakout Cartoon 1: Why?! / 1: Oh why am I built to dwell on these delusions?!! / 1: AAGH!! / 2: Hey! I have a bellybutton! / 1: AAAAAHHHHH!!
Join In *Man standing outside of circle drawn on ground* / Man: Join me in the circle of death. / *Man steps into circle* / Man: Come on! / *Man lies dead in circle*
Sexual Prefixes 1: Y'know, bisexual is a poorly-formed word. I think it should be "ambisexual" because "ambi-" means "both", and there are only two sexes. / 1: "Bi-" means two, which implies we could use other numeric prefixes. but what, for example, would a "quadrisexual" be?? / 2: Hey! My uncle is a quadrisexual! / 1:...
 
How To Draw How to Draw Good / *5 animals are shown and are drawn the same* / moo / ribbit / woof / meow / oink
Did-You-Know-Bats 2 Bat 1: Did you know that grapes could be toxic to dogs? / Bat 2: I knew that dogs could be toxic to grapes
Dirty Magazine *Man is reading a gay porn magazine* / Friend 2: What the hell? / Friend 1: Didn't you hear? Gay is the new straight! / Friend 2: Where did you hear that? / Friend 1: From this magazine! / Friend 2: That still doesn't explain the time between you picking up that magazine and you discovering that...
The Debate *Two men are at podiums at a debate* / 1: The fact is, the economy is in a sorry state, and my opponent has not done enough to ameliorate it! / 2: I think my constituents will agree that our policies are more than adequate in most situations. / 1: See? "Most situations" The reliance upon such qualifiers...
Make it Easier 1: Man, I wish this book was an audio book, just with pictures. / 1: You know, pictures that move. / 2: So, a movie? / 1: No, a moving picture audio book. / 1: Do you even listen to me?
 
a tolerable amount of fatty infiltration. Fish 1: My dad is megaman / Fish 2: Sweet. Megaman is cool. / Fish 1: So is my dad. Who is he. / Fish 2: He is megaman? / Fish 1: Megaman is my dad. / Fish 2: Who is megaman. / Fish 1: My dad is. / Fish 2: Your dad, who is megaman, is your dad.
The Sun 1: The sun could have exploded just now! but due to the distance between us and the sun, we wouldn't know about it for around another 8 minutes or so! / 2: Stop being so paranoid! / *eight minutes later* / 1: Phew / 2: See? / *one minute later* / *Everything is dark* / 2: Whatever man, you were...
New in Downtown! *Horse floating in the ocean* / Come visit the equinarium!
Gotta Split *Two amoebas talking to each other* / Amoeba 1: I have such a bad headache! It feels like my had is going to split in two. / Amoeba 2: Don't worry about it. / *Amoeba 1 starts splitting* / Amoeba 1: Ahhh!!! / *Amoeba 1 has split* / Amoeba 1: ... / Amoeba 1: Anyways
Raines has a website Raines: Hey, the lefthandedtoons guys agve me my own little site! / Mikva: Oh yeah? / Raines: Yeah! It's at http://www.lefthandedtoon.com/misc/sites... / Raines: .../oh/yeah/dont/stop/keep/going... / Raines: .../yeah/thats/it/ooh/yeah/baby/youre/so/good/yeeah/almost/there/ooooh/yeeeaah... / Raines:...
 
My Invisible Umbrella Sometimes, I hold my invisible umbrella when it's raining, just so I won't stand out too much.
Class Color Day *teacher is standing in front of class* / Teacher: Class color day for spirit week, guys! Fifth graders' color is black this year, and remember, I'm giving extra credit for participation. So who remembered to wear black today? / Student 1: My socks are black! / Student 2: My watch is black! / Student...
You Shouldn't Have Known 1: Tell me when your ready / 2: Actually, it should be "you're". "Your" wouldn't make sense in that sentence. / 1: We're having this conversation in person, not over the internet. You shouldn't be able to see how I would have typed that sentence. / 2: What? Oh my god! No!!!
Erin's Hot Date *Man and woman on a date eating dinner* / Man: Ow! Crap! I bit my.. um.. my... ahh.. what's it called...? / Man: What's the word for, like, this flap of skin between your chin and your bottom teeth? / Woman: Umm.. your "lip"? / Man: No no no!! It's not that! / *Man thinking. Woman looks confused* / Woman:...
Don't Hurt Me 1: I might be paranoid, but I think you want to hurt me. / *Pans out to show man pointing a gun at him*
 
You. *Two people at a table eating salad. Man 1 has salad all over him* / Man 2: You are very not good at salad.
Beard Talk Man: Ha! My beard is better than your beard! / Child: I'm 7! / Man: So / Child: And a girl. / Man: Listen, this is the only way I can win this game. Just bear with me.
Mathems *Two people are standing around talking* / 1: According to information theory, the number of ways to arrange matter in a finate sphere of space is finite! This has amazing implications! / 1: Consider the set of non-overlapping spheres of space that are earth-sized, one of which is our earth. If space...
The Joy of ... Something *people sitting on a plane* / Pilot: G'evening, folks. This is your captain speaking. We've just landed down in Detroit... / Pilot: ...Home of the 2004 NBA champions, the Pistons... / Drunk Passenger: DEEETROIT BAASKETBAALLL!! / Pilot: ...recording artist, Kidrock... / Drunk Passenger: KIDROCK ......
Inexperienced 1: When do you think I should leave for my date? / 2: What time is your date? / 1: Seven. / 2: It's eight now... / 1: Did I do something wrong? / 2: You'll probably need to buy some flowers.
 
Crafting of the Stars 1: Dude, Starcraft 2 just got announced! / 2: A sequel to a game that came out nearly a decade ago...woo. / 1: So, you wanna play me in Starcraft right now? / 2: Hell yeah!
Mom! Jeez!! Son: Mom! Jeez!! Get off my freakin' back!! / Mother: Huh? What's the matter, sweetie? / Son: I need to go practice for music class!! / Mother: Practice what? You don't play any instrument. / Son: Yes I do!! / Son: I play fat man belly! / *Fat man being poked in the stomach by kid* / Fat man: ...
Did-You-Know-Bats 3 Bat 1: Did you know that your mom is hot? / Bat 2: Yea mean, I'd totally do her.
But I'm octagonblind! *Man pulled over by a cop. Cop is standing at the window* / Cop: Yep. I'm gonna haft cite you for stoppin' back there. / *Octagon sign that says go*
That one day over in that field *Buffalo is speaking to a rabbit* / Buffalo: "Nintendo Wii" is actually the plural form of "Nintendo Wius".
 

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