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| Poem for My Clock | To my alarm clock / I promise to never ask "where?"
/ I only will ask you "when?"
/ And you seem to be partially aware
/ That I prefer my numbers base-ten. / But when alarmed, I've noticed, perhaps,
/ You refuse to allow me to choose...
/ It's always nine minutes elapsed,
/ 'Til again you allow me to sn... http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/151/ |
| Told You So | *Man and woman in kitchen*
/ Man: I've never cooked before, I don't think it's safe for me to cook
/ Woman: It's just ramen noodles! / Man: Well, ok... / *LATER*
/ *mushroom cloud* http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/152/ |
| Raines Shows Solidarity | Friend 2: the writers strike is over! / Friend 1: No it's not.
/ Friend 2: Oh. It isn't? Should I go back to striking? / Friend 1: What? Since when were you striking?
/ Friend 2: I was just striking over there on the floor. / Friend 1: That's not striking. That's napping.
/ Friend 2: zzzzzz...shut... http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/153/ |
| Let's Learn Physics | *Diagram showing a Panda and an Antipanda*
/ According to theories pioneered by Richard Feynman, an ordinary panda moving forward in time is equivalent to antipanda(koala) moving backward in time. / Thus, the case in which an energetic photon creates a virtual panda/koala pair, which later annihilate... http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/154/ |
| Happy Birthday! | Father to son: Blow out all your candles Jimmy or I won't love you anymore. http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/155/ |
| Cat's Cradle | How to Play Cat's Cradle / *Diagram showing Cat's Cradle configuration*
/ Grab at the circled points, pull to the outside, then quickly throw string in the trash / *Diagram showing Cat's Cradle configuration*
/ At the circled points, cut the string and never play this game again. http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/156/ |
| Yahoo Serious | *Kid reading from paper*
/ For my report on a historical figure, I watched the 1988 biopic, "Young Einstein", starring Yahoo Serious. / Albert Einstein, raised in Tasmania, split the atom while brewing beer, then invented rock n' roll. / Actually, I didn't watch the movie, I just read the synopsis from... http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/157/ |
| Walking Style | It has recently been brought to my attention that Egyptians walk in a way that is different from other people. http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/158/ |
| An Old Man Shops for a New Computer | Five hundred gigabytes?! Damn kids!! Why, when I was your age, I only got four blasted kilobytes, and I still kept my blog updated!! grumble...grumble...carrot juice... http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/159/ |
| Kyle | *Kyle poking head out of office door*
/ It is said that once a year, Kyle can be seen emerging from his dimly-lit office. / They say, on that day, if he sees his reflection in the office microwave, we will have six more weeks of winter. http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/160/ |
| Reflection | Man: if a mirror tried to look at itself in the mirror, it would get confused. http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/161/ |
| Bee | *Kid is shown on stage at a spelling be. He is speaking into the mic*
/ Kid: Can i please hear the word in a sentence please? / *Judge looks bothered*
/ Judge: Yeah fine. "Insufferable": I find the other kid left to be less insufferable. http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/162/ |
| Fragile | *UPS delivery man has delivered a package to a man*
/ Man: apparently, the fragile sticker affixed to this box meant absolutely nothing to you http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/163/ |
| California | California? More like Coolifornia! / *California is wearing sunglasses and is giving a thumbs up*
/ Rectangle State: I wish i were that cool.
/ Michigan: I can't eve tell who you are. http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/164/ |
| Beware The Wrath | Man 1: What'd you get your girlfriend for valentine's day?
/ Man 2: Valentine's Day is so overrated! / Man 1: Whoa! don't say that!
/ Man 2: I'm serious! I think it's silly! / *Heart arrow pierces through man 2's chest* / *Cupid appears and is shaking his fist at man 1* http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/165/ |
| Just Visiting | Man: why are you so short?
/ Short Man: the gravity on my home planet is much greater than the gravity here. / Man: what about the ugliness?
/ visitor: i'm just an ugly person no matter what planet i'm from / visitor: my ugliness is universal... thanks for bringing it up http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/166/ |
| Jake with Sports | Newscaster: and so, the tragedy couldn't be avoided. now, we throw it over to jake with sports. / Jake: thanks, alan! today in sports, sometimes they tried to keep the ball from touching the ground, and in other sportsgames, you're supposed to make the ball touch the ground sometimes. / *Baseball shown... http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/167/ |
| Get a Clue | it seems like whenever i played clue, i always guessed way too soon http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/168/ |
| Smoove Mooths | *man with thought cloud above head*
/ Man: Oh man. That bartendress is so hot! Okay...play it cool / *man is sitting at bar talking to bartendress*
/ Man: Heya, come here often? I'll have a beer, no ice. I like both of your boobs.
/ Man's Thought Bubble: Smoooooth http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/169/ |
| Let's Make a Deal | Father: sure, i can help you with your science project, but what can you do for me?
/ Son: don't you love me? / Father: love doesn't pay the bills son http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/170/ |
| More Great Interview Tips | Tip #11: Pick-up lines are inappropriate at interviews. / Interviewee: Y'know...if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put "u" and "i" um... I'd put us together or whatever.
/ Interviewer: Married... but you're hired. / *under comic*
/ (unless they're really good.) http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/171/ |
| Pay Up | *a graph is displayed. 'cash back' is the x-axis and 'desire to finish taxes' is the y axis. the graphed line is at the lowest y value until cash back is positive. at that point, the desire to finish taxes increases quickly* http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/172/ |
| The Sun is a Jerk | *sun is shown smiling and giving a thumbs up*
/ I make some people sneeze! http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/173/ |
| I Knew It! | *talking to man 1*
/ 2: stop looking at me like that. it feels like you're burning a hole into the side of my head. / *both men continue standing there* / *lasers begin coming out of man 1's eyes*
/ 2: AHHH! oh my god! OWW! http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/174/ |
| The Debate, Part 2 | Man 1: my opponent's policies are nothing but classic blue-shell communism!
/ Man 2: that's entirely untru-wait... blue what? / Man 1: like mario kart, idiot? the blue shell automatically hits the player in first place!
/ Man 2: so? / Man 1: so all you want to do is level the playing field! you're a... http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/175/ |
| I Wish It Did | *garbage is piled up in the middle of the floor*
/ Man: maybe if i put all of my garbage in one place, it will find its way to the trash can
/ Woman: it doesn't work like that http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/176/ |
| One Eery Night | Man: oh no!! i'm starting to... / Man: chaaange!
/ *man begins changing into a werewolf* / *werewolf shown on top of hill in front of the moon*
/ Werewolf: aaaaahooooooooo / Moon: haha! i made you all wolfy and crap!
/ Werewolf: oh yeah? well...your name also means "a butt"! http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/177/ |
| Percentages | Man 1: i'm 90% sure that i hate you
/ Man 2: i'm 100% sure that i want to punch you in the face right now http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/178/ |
| Bird-Snake-Bird | *man standing in front of a wall full of hieroglyphics*
/ Man: this is odd. it's nothing but...acronyms and intentional misspellings. what is a ... "noob"? http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/179/ |
| Golfing | *man beginning his downswing for golf. his friend is watching* / *man following through with his swing* / *golf ball heading towards a man's head who is not paying attention*
/ Golfer: FORE!!! / Friend: nice shot! you hit that guy right in the face! / Golfer: what's the golf equivalent of a triple... http://www.lefthandedtoons.com/180/ |